I told you I was trouble
Suspended animation
Emphasis mine.
Apparently once a person hits a certain age and/or they have accumulated enough baggage ... it starts to haunt them to a greater or lesser degree (unless they're an actual psychopath).
People I know and love, who have never been near a cult are often haunted ... some by big things but many by what could be viewed (by another) as trivia, that's at least part of the reason why religions manage to gather a flock in the first place ... for the comfort of guaranteed forgiveness.
Try to let yourself off the hook if you possibly can and (nauseating as this probably sounds) ... let others off it too, if you have any from your past lurking in your mind ... I doubt if any of us are anywhere near as bad as we think we are in those dark moments.
PS There is no thread rule ... if you want to talk about an issue you can, nobody owns a thread and I doubt the mods would mind if at this point it veers slightly (people will usually bring it back on track if it's still got some life in it).
Book! Book! Book! (just a subtle reminder).
I can't argue with this. How could one say this, or know this for that matter? Our experiences make up who we are I suppose. And I really don't mean to muss up the thread. I really do not because I really do agree with you here on a basic level. A fundamental level. I read your whole post and I keep saying to myself, "Yes... yeah! Definitely..." Because I am an ace with my finances. I run circles around other people in my field when it comes to organization skills, promotion, marketing, administration, communication, etc. IF I WANTED TO/HAD TO, I could hold my shit together when faced with a sticky situation. Put my "TRs in," if you will. But I don't ever do this. I do have that "skill," if you want to call it that. I'm also a great team member in any sort of group. I still like helping others (though, I think I already had that trait before Scientology).All of these things have helped me to become successful.
In any case -- I see your point. I really do.
In the same breath and spirit, yes; our experiences make up who we are and I am severely damaged as well. What's the big deal about "success?" It doesn't matter if you're broken. I'm not blaming Scientology fully, but there is a big chunk of it where I'd have to say the organization and the doctrine (and how it all affected the culture/community of Scientologists) is liable! Saying that, or typing that, is a huge step forward for me because I'd been taking way too much responsibility for it for too many years. And there are a lot of things about me (because of my experiences) that I don't necessarily like. I don't like the things that follow me around (haunt me) and are embedded into my psyche because of my experiences in the cult. I won't get into it all because of the thread rule (I swear I'm trying to respect it too!), but I've been at the end of my rope having to deal with the damage many times over.
A small handful of times I have considered, this is no way to live a life.
Shit -- you have NO idea how difficult it has been for me to construct this post.
Apparently once a person hits a certain age and/or they have accumulated enough baggage ... it starts to haunt them to a greater or lesser degree (unless they're an actual psychopath).
People I know and love, who have never been near a cult are often haunted ... some by big things but many by what could be viewed (by another) as trivia, that's at least part of the reason why religions manage to gather a flock in the first place ... for the comfort of guaranteed forgiveness.
Try to let yourself off the hook if you possibly can and (nauseating as this probably sounds) ... let others off it too, if you have any from your past lurking in your mind ... I doubt if any of us are anywhere near as bad as we think we are in those dark moments.
PS There is no thread rule ... if you want to talk about an issue you can, nobody owns a thread and I doubt the mods would mind if at this point it veers slightly (people will usually bring it back on track if it's still got some life in it).
Book! Book! Book! (just a subtle reminder).