Whatever happened to personal responsibility? I know everything that went wrong in the world was our own fault while in the cult (because we 'pulled it all in'). ... is this some kind of delayed, reverse reaction?
I am NEVER talking about children or generational scientologists when I say things like that (I just want to make that 100% clear in case our resident bull-baiter wants to try and jump on it).
The truth is we all accepted the awful side of the cult ... right up until we stopped accepting it and got out and getting out took very real courage, so I know we have it in spades.
Of course there were people in the cult who seemed to enjoy inflicting nastiness on others (and held the posts that enabled and encouraged it) but that happens everywhere IRL. It usually starts in Kindy. It's a sad but very real part of life.
I'm not lacking in either caring or empathy but surely personal responsibility has to come into the equation at some stage and overall we are all in the same boat ... the people we are going after are ex-scientologists and many of them are working their arses off to expose the cult ... THAT is what I find embarrassing ... that we are turning on our own and at the point where so much is being done to try and crush (or at least expose) hubbards vicious cult.
Anyway, what will be will be but I'm making this point because we have 100's of lurkers here every single day, many would be interested never ins ... some would be journalists and they could be forming views about exes in general that may not be complimentary or helpful ... it doesn't bother me because I've remained anon but I feel for anyone that could be hurt by it in the future and am just attempting to calm things down a bit.
I'll leave it at that, I'm sorry if anyone finds my thoughts offensive but that was not the intention I can assure you.
Hey, I wasn't trying to pick a fight earlier, I just know there are people out there who really do deserve some answers to questions, whether it be OSA ops against them, intimidation, blackmail etc. And I know it "looks" bad to question an upstanding guy who is doing what he can. My point is that while the "overall good" is wonderful, can we, or should we forget about the individuals who might applaud the increase in community awareness, but still feel that they need their questions answered. There is an idea that these questions shouldn't be asked publicly. But when asked privately they are never answered.
I think there is this idea that "we were all bad" in Scientology. It seems that because we were all in it, somehow we have to share the "guilt". It's like we all enforced disconnection, we all crush regged the public to death, we all made someone clean a toilet with a toothbrush, we all participated in surveillance against critics, we all agreed with enforced abortion, we all oversaw the RPF, we all stopped people from blowing etc. It's like guilt by association or something.
This simply isn't true.
I never did any of those things. I didn't harass Div6 students who said they didn't want to do another course. I didn't put pressure on anyone to join staff. I didn't lie and reg someone out of their retirement. I didn't disconnect from my family who thought Scn was a joke. I was in constant ethics trouble for saying I didn't agree with things. I wrote KRs to Int management where I saw abuses. This made me a target and I copped my share of punishment for it.
I'm not saying I was a saint, but I no longer want to take on the burden of the things I didn't do. Yes we were all part of the machine and we Kept Scientology Working but we are not all the same. Maybe I could have become the "abortion enforcer" if I had joined the Sea Org. Maybe I would have, but I don't think so. There was a SO girl at Sydney who was pregnant. I don't know why she confided in me while we were in the cafeteria but she did. She was in tears and I was there. It might have been that simple. Anyway she told me she was pregnant and was being told she must abort, but she didn't want to. I told her that it's her life and if she wanted this baby she should route out or just leave. I was lucky she didn't report me. She did abort and I watched her become less & less alive as time went on. I felt so sorry for her. I knew then that I couldn't do the post of "abortion enforcer". Did any of you do this post?
Also when I was at the AO for training I saw the pompous RTC guys prancing around, yelling at staff (faceripping). I saw the staff come out of offices in tears, humiliated and degraded. You could hear the yelling from the waiting room/lounge down stairs particularly if it was a HCO staff getting their faces ripped off because HCO was on the ground floor too. If you went upstairs to the HGC you could hear the tech staff getting their faces ripped off. I knew then that I could never do or be that. We didn't do that. Tyrone Webb did that. He chose to do that over & over. Did he do it because it made him feel powerful? I don't know. How many of you on this board ever did that?
So when you talk about personal responsibility, I will and do take my own responsibility. I took the train every day. I worked 60 hours per week, every week. I wog jobbed 30 hours per week, every week. I missed my baby daughter's first birthday because I didn't refuse to go to Sydney for an ethics handling that was totally uncalled for. I was the one who stayed on staff for 7 years. I was the one who refused to read entheta for so long. I was the one who protested outside a Psychiatrist convention, shouting "Stop psychiatry!" I was the one who wrote KRs on my friends.
Of course there were people in the cult who seemed to enjoy inflicting nastiness on others (and held the posts that enabled and encouraged it) but that happens everywhere IRL
Exactly. Why shouldn't those people be asked the hard questions? I am NOT saying Mike Rinder enjoyed inflicting nastiness, not at all. In fact I don't believe he did. I think anything he did, he did for the "betterment" of his religion.
David Miscavige, Marty Rathbun, Mike Rinder, Guillaume Lesevre, Marc Yager, Norman Starkey, Ray Mithoff, Mark Ingber, Mike Sutter, Kurt Wieland, Monique Yingling, the list goes on and one. Where does the buck stop? Will anyone take responsibility and personally address the people they personally harmed? Or is this just not important? I don't know anymore.
Do you really think Mike Rinder gives a crap about Alanzo or anyone else making "entheta" remarks about him? I doubt it. If he feels he's done all he can then he should feel personally satisfied and not give two shits. Right now there are people "nattering their brains out" about me, and I just don't give 2 shits either. I'm expecting an expose on some blog about how Emma has flipped, or is getting paid, or really has gone insane. I imagine there is all sorts of investigations going on behind closed doors to see if I have any embarrassing bits in my past that can be bandied around back channel to prove these charges. Something like a bankruptcy, drug charge or DUI. Don't for ONE SECOND believe this can't be true. It is true. I've seen it done on others. There is proof right here on this board if you know the backstory and where to look. Yes Ops run on critics, by critics. But here's the thing. I DON'T CARE because I have nothing to hide. If Mike has nothing to hide he won't care either.
As for lurkers? One google search for Mike Rinder and they will see a whole other side. As for how lurkers see ESMB? I would hope as a place where we can ask all the questions.