This belief gnawed at you during the latter days.
Was it (that belief)the final straw that grew heavier and heavier until you couldn't continue anymore, or was there a balancing factor e.g I'm clearing the planet; that helped justify that way of life for you for a little longer, and for a short time at least out weighed the above belief?
If an SO member said to you that s/he sees the bad points in Scientology but is ...*clearing the planet*..How would you counter that reasoning?
These are excellent questions.
It was not this single belief alone that led to the “last straw” but one of many…along with personal interaction with El Ron, working in the “inner circle” and seeing first hand numerous orgs, interacting with public from top Mission Holders and Celebs all the way to Newbies. I was, of and on, privy to stuff that most SO, let alone public, knew nothing about and a “Gump” in the immediate crowd when some of the “Landmark/Watershed events happened from ’mid to late sixties to the early to mid ‘80’s.
Eventually I will complete posting “my story”—“What I Bought Into and Why”—here on ESMB but, due to circumstances, it will probably many, many months before I complete that task. I have already extensively posted much about my overall “Take” on my life and times with El Ron, SO, Scn and the “Tech”.
Specifically to your questions:
My whole time in Scn and the SO was one of a balancing factor. I never bought in to “Clearing the Planet” per se…I had some experiences in my early auditing that were…and still are…significant. I had things happen with me that non Scns, even people that were anti Scn observed and went, “wow”. I now know realize that I was a seeker, a reacher, a quester, a person that aspired to “Walk the Earth” and “stuff” was most probably bound to happen with and to me anyway but, as I was a young, well educated and literally “off the farm” young adult, I attributed my “realizations” to Scn, “The Tech” and perforce to El Ron.
All I ever wanted was to learn, to know, to understand and help others and to help make a better world and life for humanity. I wanted to be part of and contribute to something “good”, worthwhile and I damn sure wanted everyone to have the opportunity to “feel” what it’s like to have “realizations” such as I had had. That’s what the “Lever” was to the “balancing factor” (perfect phrase) that I struggled with throughout all my years “in”.
In the interest of my wish for anonymity at this time, I’m not going to detail the road I walked and every specific about what led me to walk away but I will relate briefly, and have said in more detail in past posts on ESMB, much about this.
Most importantly for purposes of this discussion is that I worked with and knew El Ron, personally. And, I either worked with or knew personally and interacted with Mary Sue, Capt. Bill, Urq, Mayo, Rinder, Rathbun and Da Monster.
I will not try and speak for another SO member…I can only speak for myself. I believe that the concept of “tipping points” is real…has to do with “self ordered critically, fractal geometry and chaos theory”, which I will refrain from discussing at this time. IMO, we all have our own “tipping point”. I know I did and, when it happened, NOTHING BUT NOTHING was going to stand in my way. Although “despondent and desperate” at that moment, an ethereal almost “mystical” calm and clarity set in and I “structured and designed” my walking away—went through some real bad shit coming out but, by the Grace of this Universe and some real decent, patient and kind folks (which are IMO the Grace of this Universe) I made it and the rest, as they say, is history.
Personally I don’t think there is anyone—including El Ron and Da Moster—that doesn’t know, to a greater or lesser degree, that there are “holes” and worse, much worse, in Scn, “The Red Tech and Green Tech” and the entire construct. The “squirrel cage” (pun intended) is that part of the “Tech” is that if it’s not working on you or for it’s ultimately “your fault”; if it’s not working in the orgs it’s “their fault”; if it’s not working for someone else it’s “their fault”: it it’s not working in the World it’s the “Worlds fault”.
So, “If an SO member said to you that s/he sees the bad points in Scientology but is ...*clearing the planet*..How would you counter that reasoning?”
I might ask, “Have you ever thought about the concept, ‘The end justifies the means’?” Depends completely on the circumstance and circumstance is all about that moment and its existing pent-up context for each individual party involved in that Dialogue.
There is no Silver Bullet, Red Pill or Blue Pill.
I see “tipping points” as random, progressive and chaotically sequential. I wouldn’t “counter that reasoning” re “clearing the planet”. I would listen and question, depending upon what I have patiently gleaned as my “take” on the persons “frame of reference” from my own “frame of reference”. I wouldn’t seek to be a “tipping point”. I would wish only to have the opportunity to maybe be a “grain of sand” that adds to the self ordered criticality of their “pile” and my “pile” that may, or maybe not, lead to some form of “shift”. I personally would wish to hopefully be a “sign post” on their way out of the Labyrinth; I would never aspire to be “The Signpost”.
SO members have lived secluded, hectic, frenetic and chaotic lives of enforced “context” by others, inadvertant self enforced "context", enforcing “context” on others and inadvertantly enforcing "context" on others and making others do same. The last thing they need is another “severe reality adjustment” or probing quasi “Sec Check” or “finger” pointed at them.
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