I do understand.
But, the concept of "
unable to move on" is what I think may be the key.
Example: Mickey Marlboro is hopelessly addicted to cigarettes. They try everything but cannot break free. It's hopeless, they swear, such is their psychological and physiological dependency. So, they may see no other choice but to pay for for elaborate self-help "tech", hypnosis or medication. But, let's put put Mickey Marlboro in a different situation. Let's say World War III breaks out and there are no more cigarettes and Mickey is more concerned about finding a warm, dry place to sleep every night--and scrounging for food by day so that he doesn't perish from nutritional deprivation.
Now, there's a person "unable to quit" smoking who suddenly doesn't smoke any more and they don't even notice it.
What does that tell us?
I've lived, loved and lost. Much of my life has been lived a hopeless romantic with story book love and also "surprise endings" that were not, shall I say, the way I would have written the script. LOL. Who has truly lived & loved that has not felt their share of heartbreak and worse? So, I am no casual observer of those terribly trying times that one has to somehow gather up all the pieces and "move on". This applies equally to business and financial affairs when riches are lost. I know it can be grim.
But, I just don't think it very healthy to belabor the loss of love by subjecting oneself to daily torture over extended period of time. Eventually, one day (if the individual is to ever get over it) they will simply just decide to "move on". All I am suggesting is that they save themselves a hell of a lot of time, effort, worry and money and get over it quickly.
Personally, accepting the loss is the first step of getting over it. In the military there is a saying when someone has been shot and the field surgery is infinitely more painful than the wound itself was. Soldiers typically yell in the face of their fallen comrade to "TAKE THE PAIN!!"
Brutal, I know. But, "taking the pain" (in a romantic loss) is simply begun by experiencing that it is over and not building a holy shrine to worshipping the disaster. Like a bad tooth, don't fiddle with it or tug. Either pull it out completely in one swift decisive move--or leave it alone and live with the pain.
I've been a top Case Supervisor and Auditor. But, now it's 2014 and when I see a complicated auditing program laid out to "handle a person's case" (their PTSness, their money troubles, their romantic problems, et al) I just cringe. Because, those problems are in the real world, not inside the person's head. To wit, the best way to cure a horrid "2D loss" is to go out and get a new lover, love interest or spouse. That solves it better than all of Hubbard's superstitious mumbo-jumbo.
And if Hubbard's woo-woo worked even a tiny bit, why were his own three marriages and families fully "enturbulated", "unmocked" and "shattered"?
End of rant.