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2018 SCIENTOLOGY PREDICTIONS - - You heard it here first!

Discussion in 'General Scientology Discussion' started by HelluvaHoax!, Dec 21, 2017.

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  1. HelluvaHoax!

    HelluvaHoax! Platinum Meritorious Sponsor with bells on




    Hey, it's time for a yearly tradition, the annual what-the-hell is going to happen to the freaky cult of Scientology in 2018.

    There have been many wonderful and uncannily accurate prognostications in previous years--some brilliant, prescient or hilarious.

    As always, here's da rules:

    1. All PREDICTIONS have to posted by Jan 30th 2018
    2. No fair editing your predictions once you post them. (Damn, there could be some crazy-ass scamming if people are re-writing the predictions AFTER something happens! LOL)
    3. End of the year, a WINNER and RUNNER UP WINNER is announced based on the most alarmingly accurate prediction that actually came true.
    4. Award also given for the worst freakin prediction that nearly everyone KNEW was never gonna happen in the first place.
    5. Contestants are not allowed to consult with OT's to get answers. (that's cheating)
    6. You can make as many predictions as you want but you can't give 2 opposing predictions like Ron would so that you are always right.

    For fun, here are the threads for the past years. I couldn't find the 2012 Predictions thread (whoa, nobody predicted that would happen!).


    SPECIAL RULE CHANGE (adopted in 2016): If you make a bogus prediction about a Scientology event that never happens in the MEST universe in 2018, you still get to keep your OT status and impressive advanced certificates---provided that:
    a) You still 'feel good about' the prediction.
    b) Your prediction 'is real to you', because you consider it really did happen 'in your universe' on the first dynamic.
    c) Planetary clearing (of Hubbard's hoax) 'becomes a reality' on this planet.

    So, dear assembled Homo Novi---feel free and grant yourself beingness to use all of your hard-won and scientifically certified supernatural psychic OT powers!

    (on this planet)


    Last edited: Dec 21, 2017
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  2. HelluvaHoax!

    HelluvaHoax! Platinum Meritorious Sponsor with bells on


    Due to the volume of KRs I have received in the past about failing to post the annual CONTEST RESULTS (e.g. winners, runner-ups, honorable mentions, et al) for each year's contest, I have taken effective action to handle this out-ethics situation, and hereby petition to re-enter the group at ESMB.

    I am very proud to mention that my amends project is that I postulated that this will never happen again!

    In order to put in my exchange in abundance, I also threw in a free bonus amends project---by postulating tons of theta that will change the entheta:theta ratio and salvage this planet and all of your eternities. So, I am asking all of you KR writers to knock it off and begin writing success stories and wins you had reading about my amends project! LOL

  3. This is NOT OK !!!!

    This is NOT OK !!!! Gold Meritorious Patron

    In 2018..................

    is going to
    (on this planet)
    Last edited: Dec 21, 2017
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  4. HelluvaHoax!

    HelluvaHoax! Platinum Meritorious Sponsor with bells on


    Okay, I am just getting warmed up here, doing some prediction exercises and such.

    My really OT predictions will come later, but for now. . .

    PREDICTION: Danny Masterson will be caught by paparazzi browsing in a BlueBird Motorhome showroom.

    I hate to black PR or dead agent an Operating Thetan, because they are the most ethical beings on the planet. And super-upstat too, apparently, because Masterson has unprecedented highest-ever stats again as his 5th rape victim just came forward and went public--moments ago. See article: "Danny Masterson's ex-girlfriend accuses him of raping her repeatedly!"

    PREDICTION: Danny Masterson will soon have a really huge cognition why all those ex-scientologists were nattering about how their "church" turned on them, declared them, disconnected them from family/friend, black PRed them, dead-agented them, fair-gamed them and created hate websites about them.

    PREDICTION: When Scientology disavows and attacks him, Danny Masterson is going to find out his "celebrity" ultra-status and "ethics protection" is a cruel hoax and that Scientology was using him just as brutally as he used his rape victims. Then he going to get very confused confused and need a lot of clay.

    Last edited: Dec 22, 2017
  5. Miss Ellie

    Miss Ellie Miss Ellie

    Looking into my crystal ball...

    1) One or more ideal orgs will be seized for not paying bills/utilities/contractors/other. The location(s) will go on the auction block and be bought for less than was spent to build/remodel them.

    2) The Sea Org will be investigated for foreign worker visas and be accused/found to be committing fraud.

    3) DM will be sued for sexual harassment or lack of ability by a female staff member not his missing wife.

    4) Shelly will be free and after she is medically tended to will file a legal action that will cost the sciobots BIG $$$.

    5) Someone will go undercover into the Sea Org and do a news story to TOP all other stories ever done. Film at 11:00.

    6) More people will have the scales fall from their eyes and continue on the path of total freedom AWAY... far AWAY... from the sciobots.

    7) People will continue to be fascinated by the "cult of the stars"... and keep the pressure on them to end their wicked, wicked ways.

    :cool: :cool: :p
    tesseract, guRl, Enthetan and 2 others like this.
  6. Teanntás

    Teanntás Silver Meritorious Patron

    Greetings Homines novis :)
    HelluvaHoax! likes this.
  7. JackStraw

    JackStraw Silver Meritorious Patron

    And I thought you used to be a scientologist! :gaah:

    All you need to do is PREDICT you will forget all about this by November 2018 and: viola! You win! :wine::booze::bong:

    Apply that old time technology, boy, you can do it!:thewinner:

  8. HelluvaHoax!

    HelluvaHoax! Platinum Meritorious Sponsor with bells on


    PREDICTION: At least one (1) decades-long veteran staff member in every org (on this planet) who is posted as the Reg will sit with their prospect, listening intently to them with saint-like understanding, ARC and empathy--as that caved in Scientologist intimately describes what is ruining their life. At that moment. . . .

    -- the reg will state with infinite certainty: "Scientology can handle that!"

    -- the reg will think to themselves: "Shit! Is that really true?"

    -- after which the Scientologist will respond: "Wow, Is that really true?"

    -- the reg will reply with a beatific grin: "Absolutely true!"

    -- the reg will think to themselves: "Damn, in 25 years Scientology never handled MY ruin!"

    -- the prospect says: "Damn, in 25 years Scientology never handled my ruin!"

    --The reg replies: "Well the tech is totally standard now, the way Ron intended it!"

    --the reg thinks: "Jesus! Now I am just spewing total bullshit!"

    --the prospect says: "Jesus, that sounds like total bullshit!"

    -- the reg says: "Hey, I used to think and say everything you said, but the new tech totally handled MY ruin!"

    --the reg thinks: "Oh, well, WTF, who give shit at this point? i just don't want my graph to be down and get in trouble."

    -- the prospect says: "Are you really sure? I mean, I could go bankrupt if i take this 3rd mortgage!"

    -- the reg says: "Absolutely certain! 200 percent certain! I would bet my eternity on it!"

    -- the reg thinks: "Yeah, okay, so I'm going to hell, so what? I just hope I can get libs and see the new Star Trek movie this week."

    Type4_PTS and Operating DB like this.
  9. This is NOT OK !!!!

    This is NOT OK !!!! Gold Meritorious Patron

    Been there done that (both flows):guilt:
    HelluvaHoax! likes this.
  10. screamer2

    screamer2 Idiot Bastardson

    I predict that LRH will return from target two and perform oral sex for every member of sea org and org staff including FSM's and publics. AND I predict that LRH will be busted on Hollywood Boulevard on ethics charges.

    Mark my words. You heard it here first.
  11. F.Bullbait

    F.Bullbait Oh, a wise guy,eh?

    2 Predictions for 2018!

    1 - Now that Xenu had moved out of my attic, Trump will appoint him to head up HHS (Health and Human Services).

    2- OT 10 super duper confidential material will be leaked:

    Prep for the level – make a will directing all your assets to the Mudder Church.j


    Part I - Book and Bottle 24/7 for 2 weeks.

    Part II – a round of R2-45 to finish off what’s left.

    Voila! OT 10!
  12. lotus

    lotus stubborn rebel sheep!

    Good lord you'r kidding me ????

    Dm can only be sued for sexual harassment by
    His small dick who escapes his hands...

    Re: The only ''female life'' being around him....being allegely neglected...

    Oh well..

    Why isn't she just having a thursday night quick 2d production meeting with the I\C...Little Dick ????
  13. Operating DB

    Operating DB Truman Show Dropout

    Huh! I googled Homines novis and got this -
    Homo novus (or: novus homo, Latin for "new man"; plural homines novi) was the term in ancient Rome for a man who was the first in his family to serve in the Roman Senate or, more specifically, to be elected as consul.


    So Hubbard went stealing terms that were invented millenia ago? I'm aghast!
    HelluvaHoax! likes this.
  14. Teanntás

    Teanntás Silver Meritorious Patron

    Note: homines novis is the vocative case. We still use it in Irish. The 'o' as in 'o Lord ' is the very few remaining usages in English.
  15. Teanntás

    Teanntás Silver Meritorious Patron

    And after all that blowing it will surely be the end :D
  16. anonomog

    anonomog Gold Meritorious Patron

    I predict that the current sex abuse revelations will hit the church hard in 2018. Not just the Masterson fallout but others. Church harassment of victims and witnesses will come further into the light. DM completely unable to soft spin will continue with the attack method of PR.

    I don't think it will be the abuse claims against the church itself, that will be the primary problem. But the celebrities themselves and the church's slimy handling and harassment of the victims to protect the celebrities.
    tesseract and HelluvaHoax! like this.
  17. ILove2Lurk

    ILove2Lurk Lisbeth Salander

    . . .
    OK, here goes . . .

    In 2018, a new series of LRH-inspired "Cash Cow Collectibles" (as referred to in confidential
    Author Services internal documents) will be released.

    Here's a sneak peek at the LRH Marcabian Space Traveler Series statuettes. Prices will begin
    at around $10-15,000 each. Will be promoted as investment grade collectibles that will appreciate
    in value exponentially, since they are VERY limited editions.

    Grant Cardone will be one of the first collectors (or should I say suckers) to buy one of each . . .
    and then brag about it.


    "Will that be cash, check or American Express?"

    Last edited: Dec 22, 2017
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  18. ILove2Lurk

    ILove2Lurk Lisbeth Salander

    . . .
    Before his untimely death, LRH wrote dispatches to several Int Base execs, stating he
    would return about 21 years after he dropped his current body. He would be recognized
    as a red-headed adult man from the Las Vegas area. More than that he didn't say much.

    BFG had commented once that one of the Int Base execs had kept his copy of the dispatch under
    the desk pad on his desk. The guy was sorta forlorn after the 21 years came and went and
    no LRH.

    My prediction #2 is that LRH returns in the flesh in 2018.

    And WE will all be forlorn . . . because we doubted.


    Last edited: Dec 22, 2017
  19. HelluvaHoax!

    HelluvaHoax! Platinum Meritorious Sponsor with bells on

    It's actually okay, because Ron was a charriot race driver in ancient Rome. He set all kinds of records, lifetime after lifetime, beating his own best track times! But that's not the most amazing part....while setting new speed records he had to avoid nuclear bombs on the race track!

    Something like that. . . LOL

    LESSON DU JOUR: If "Dr" Hubbard had said the above (verbatim) on a taped lecture, Scientologists would have clay demo'd it and written up huge wins.

    CURIOUS FACTOID: Scientologists would neither ask Ron--nor even wonder--why or how there could have been nuclear bombs in Rome. That is the key to becoming a full OT. Total Certainty, only achievable by eliminating the wholetrack reason a being Q&As.

  20. HelluvaHoax!

    HelluvaHoax! Platinum Meritorious Sponsor with bells on

    Wait! There has been a terrible, terrible mistake. . .


    C.T. HUBBARD IN VEGAS[sup]1[/sup]


    [sup]1[/sup] HolyHell, Ron kinda goofed the floof there on picking up Carrot Top's body. But, the good news is that you can catch his standup routine at a little comedy club off the Vegas strip, where he's been working on some killer psych jokes that totally slay!

    Last edited: Dec 22, 2017
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