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Because Kindness Matters

Free Being Me

Crusader
My daughter was unfailingly kind. There was so much division and drama surrounding the funeral, but, like my other daughter said, "EVERYONE is welcome. Scarlett liked EVERYONE," and that was so true. Because she couldn't speak, she never said a harsh word in her life. Because she couldn't do anything, she never did a mean thing - never hurt anyone. Never told a lie or spread a rumour. None of that. And no matter how hard her life was, her face would light up and beam when she saw you. She loved everyone. She was a truly sweet and good person, although she could be cheeky as well.

Treasure your memory of her, Purple. I imagine a little garden with flowers, a figurine, and perhaps a small waterfall all combined into a place of peace to remember your daughter. She will live in your heart, always.

:)
 

Jump

Operating teatime


[video]https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=b3ShGSimquE[/video]

laurasgarden.jpg



 

Purple Rain

Crusader
Treasure your memory of her, Purple. I imagine a little garden with flowers, a figurine, and perhaps a small waterfall all combined into a place of peace to remember your daughter. She will live in your heart, always.

:)

Yes, they are really nice ideas! And a plaque with her name, perhaps. I always thought it was a beautiful name.

Maybe I will build it near our wishing well.



[video]https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=b3ShGSimquE[/video]

laurasgarden.jpg




That was such a lovely video. It made me cry with how lovely it was.
 

Free Being Me

Crusader
Yes, they are really nice ideas! And a plaque with her name, perhaps. I always thought it was a beautiful name.

Maybe I will build it near our wishing well.



That was such a lovely video. It made me cry with how lovely it was.
There you go, a plaque is great idea! Maybe something like this with roses, a figurine, and a plaque. Your imagination is your guide. :)

18garden-waterfall.jpg
 

Purple Rain

Crusader
I didn't know anything about John Sweeney before that Ted talk, but I had heard about the paying for coffee in advance thing on Facebook and I absolutely love the idea. I looked up where the cafés are in NY that do it, and next time I am in Utica I will ask Tom if we can buy one or more in advance for a homeless person. We are like that ourselves most of the time, and know what it feels like, and what a difference something as simple and small as a cup of coffee can make to a person's world.

Here is the link, if anyone else wants to find their closest "pay it forward" kind of café:

http://suspendedcoffees.com
 

Free Being Me

Crusader
That was so powerful!!

Yes it is, one of my favorite speeches. I'm glad you like it. The Great Dictator starring Charlie Chaplin was released in 1940. IMHO, it's as relevant today as it was 75 years ago. IMO, positive change in the world doesn't come from the top with politicians and governments, it comes from people at the bottom individually empowering themselves. We are all in this world together, kindness matters.

I didn't know anything about John Sweeney before that Ted talk, but I had heard about the paying for coffee in advance thing on Facebook and I absolutely love the idea. I looked up where the cafés are in NY that do it, and next time I am in Utica I will ask Tom if we can buy one or more in advance for a homeless person. We are like that ourselves most of the time, and know what it feels like, and what a difference something as simple and small as a cup of coffee can make to a person's world.

Here is the link, if anyone else wants to find their closest "pay it forward" kind of café:

http://suspendedcoffees.com

I hadn't heard of John Sweeney until stumbling on one of his videos the other day. Thanks for posting that link to his site, it's a great place to explore. His pay in advance coffee gifting idea as an act of kindness has become very popular. I feel the same way you do, "what a difference something as simple and small as a cup of coffee can make to a person's world."

Here's a cup of coffee on me, everyone enjoy. :)

ceramic-coffee-cup.JPG
 
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Purple Rain

Crusader
In the same "pay it forward" vein, I found this sad story really inspiring.
[URL="http://www.cbsnews.com/news/pay-it-forward-said-california-man-matthew-jackson-who-died-one-day-later/]Matthew Jackson
[/URL]
 

Teanntás

Silver Meritorious Patron
I've been remiss in not offering you my condolences regarding your daughter, you have my heartfelt sympathies and compassion. :flowers:



The kid wanted to join the army because he wanted to shoot people. John Sweeney talks with the kid sorting him out finding out what the kid really means is he wants to protect people from threats. An interesting dialogue because the kid wasn't sure exactly what he meant and you have to admit, on the surface a desire to harm other people in general isn't healthy. Really a great TED talk on kindness for those that haven't watched it already.

Thanks ! He said at 11.35 that he wanted to shoot 'bagas' - at least that's what it sounded like to me.
 

AnonyMary

Formerly Fooled - Finally Free
My daughter was unfailingly kind. There was so much division and drama surrounding the funeral, but, like my other daughter said, "EVERYONE is welcome. Scarlett liked EVERYONE," and that was so true. Because she couldn't speak, she never said a harsh word in her life. Because she couldn't do anything, she never did a mean thing - never hurt anyone. Never told a lie or spread a rumour. None of that. And no matter how hard her life was, her face would light up and beam when she saw you. She loved everyone. She was a truly sweet and good person, although she could be cheeky as well.

Belated condolences, dear Purple Rain.

I somehow managed to miss reading about Scarlett passing away until today. I am so, so sorry for the loss of your precious girl. :heartflower:

What you wrote about her, above, is clearly evident in this video I came across while searching to find what I missed before posting here, the one that Glenda posted when she made the sad announcement for you last Oct.

Your video is a beautiful memento of a gentle and kind child loved by a gentle and kind mother:

[video=youtube;CqjFePGk-GE]https://www.youtube.com/watch?t=1&v=CqjFePGk-GE[/video]


Being the mother of a disabled child myself, I can appreciate how challenging things must have been for you at times, over the years - and how deep your grief may be at his time. Until a person walks a mile in your shoes, it's impossible for them to truly understand the depth of joy she brought you, and the degree of sacrifice you and your children have made every day over the years to do what you could to love and care for her, and your other children, in spite of the challenges.

We can all learn from Scarlett. From what you wrote here. Thanks for sharing her with us. :hug:
 

Free Being Me

Crusader
Belated condolences, dear Purple Rain.

I somehow managed to miss reading about Scarlett passing away until today. I am so, so sorry for the loss of your precious girl. :heartflower:

What you wrote about her, above, is clearly evident in this video I came across while searching to find what I missed before posting here, the one that Glenda posted when she made the sad announcement for you last Oct.

Your video is a beautiful memento of a gentle and kind child loved by a gentle and kind mother:

[video=youtube;CqjFePGk-GE]https://www.youtube.com/watch?t=1&v=CqjFePGk-GE[/video]


Being the mother of a disabled child myself, I can appreciate how challenging things must have been for you at times, over the years - and how deep your grief may be at his time. Until a person walks a mile in your shoes, it's impossible for them to truly understand the depth of joy she brought you, and the degree of sacrifice you and your children have made every day over the years to do what you could to love and care for her, and your other children, in spite of the challenges.

[HIGHLIGHT]We can all learn from Scarlett. From what you wrote here. Thanks for sharing her with us.[/HIGHLIGHT] :hug:

Yes, absolutely. :yes: :)
 

Victoria

Patron Meritorious
The worst time in my life has been survivable because of the kindness of my friends. People think they are not doing much, but it makes all the difference in the world.

Not only that, but it truly is the antidote to meanness. When my daughter died, my mother was like, "The hell with Purple," but my friends... too many to name... carried me on their wings. I didn't need alcohol or sedatives because I was bathed in kindness and love.

As far as being kind goes, I wish I could be softer around the edges sometimes. The other night I dreamed that I was fighting with my sister, physically and verbally and it was like she was made of rubber and nothing I could do could hurt her. And I was arguing with my mother at the same time because she was totally on my sister's side, and I couldn't make her understand.

I flinch when I think about some of the things they said just on Facebook to you.
Glenda has worked the magic and discovered the kind woman that was her mother.
For the rest of us, I try to keep the faith.
Im glad you're in the states with someone who loves you.

I think about my mother and the last years we had together, and even though she moved on over a year ago, I still feel like Ive been kicked in the head.
 

JustSheila

Crusader
The worst time in my life has been survivable because of the kindness of my friends. People think they are not doing much, but it makes all the difference in the world.

Not only that, but it truly is the antidote to meanness. When my daughter died, my mother was like, "The hell with Purple," but my friends... too many to name... carried me on their wings. I didn't need alcohol or sedatives because I was bathed in kindness and love.

As far as being kind goes, I wish I could be softer around the edges sometimes. The other night I dreamed that I was fighting with my sister, physically and verbally and it was like she was made of rubber and nothing I could do could hurt her. And I was arguing with my mother at the same time because she was totally on my sister's side, and I couldn't make her understand.

Purple, my dear,

Let me take you back to a time, not so long ago, when I visited you in Canberra.

You were a model mother. You had spent many years in an unhappy marriage for the sake of your children. You cooked, cleaned, cared for your disabled daughter gently and with all compassion and looked after your other one as well. When you weren't at home, you were shopping or working with civic groups to try to improve conditions not just for your own daughter, but for other disabled children.

Though she couldn't speak, you understood Scarlett so well, that you could respond to even the slightest gesture to make her life as pleasant as possible.

Close your eyes. Remember?

That's how I remember you when I think of you.

I am sure it is how Scarlett remembered you as well. :heartflower:

Love,

Sheila
 

Purple Rain

Crusader
Belated condolences, dear Purple Rain.

I somehow managed to miss reading about Scarlett passing away until today. I am so, so sorry for the loss of your precious girl. :heartflower:

What you wrote about her, above, is clearly evident in this video I came across while searching to find what I missed before posting here, the one that Glenda posted when she made the sad announcement for you last Oct.

Your video is a beautiful memento of a gentle and kind child loved by a gentle and kind mother:

[video=youtube;CqjFePGk-GE]https://www.youtube.com/watch?t=1&v=CqjFePGk-GE[/video]


Being the mother of a disabled child myself, I can appreciate how challenging things must have been for you at times, over the years - and how deep your grief may be at his time. Until a person walks a mile in your shoes, it's impossible for them to truly understand the depth of joy she brought you, and the degree of sacrifice you and your children have made every day over the years to do what you could to love and care for her, and your other children, in spite of the challenges.

We can all learn from Scarlett. From what you wrote here. Thanks for sharing her with us. :hug:

Thank you for that beautiful post, AnonyMary, and for the lovely hug, as well as all the caring and understanding.

Scarlett was the greatest joy and sorrow of my life - a rare and special gift I will always miss, treasure and be wildly grateful for.

Speaking of kindness, and disability, I would like to share this video taken at her primary school some years ago. The kindness and love of so many wonderful teachers, therapists and staff, made the world of difference to Scarlett's life - just like Glenda was saying about the troubled little boy she helps teach at kindergarten - and the miracle of breaking through to him and being able to put some positives into his life. It is hard to watch these amazing, ordinary people interacting with these students with a disability without being overwhelmed by the joy their simple kindnesses bring as they light up my little girl's eyes.

Much, much love to you!

[video=youtube_share;6BxZBX8hPhQ]http://youtu.be/6BxZBX8hPhQ[/video]
 
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