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Belated Introduction

Discussion in 'New Member Introductions' started by Human Again, Feb 3, 2009.

  1. Human Again

    Human Again Silver Meritorious Patron

    Hi, I am Natascha Fareed. I am no longer concerned if any Church officials know my opinion of the Church, Scientology or LRH. I am happy to speak my truth rather than anyone else's. My friends who are still in, you work on the wrong side of the feedom coin. I wish for you, whatever events are needed to open your eyes to how you have been used and manipulated and how your effort and your sincerity is used to draw others into the trap.

    I was brought up as a Scientologist. My family was disfunctional because of the distorted views of Scn about families, about mental illness and about humans and emotion. My father does not speak to me, he says I am a bad scientologist - even though he is declared. He has no friends, his wife can't stand him and IMHO his entire beingness has been wrecked by what he learned as "scientology" - which I must say is very different from what I learned as "scientology". He is of the "no emotion is good emotion" , "you are all responsible for your own unhappiness, nothing I do to you can cause you to be unhappy" type. No compassion for other people. Having said all this I love my Dad and hope he finds a way to love me again before he dies. He is now 72 and not strong any more.

    I joined the SO in ANZO in 1981 when I was 16.

    The circumstances of my leaving are weird. I didn't want to leave but took an LOA to see my mother who was supposedly dying (a ploy to get me home it turned out) and the suppressive LC (Vito - I still have a lot of anger toward you little man) at the org I took the LOA from put through a LSRF for me and unknown by me while I was away.

    When I demanded to know what that BS was he just said "I was ordered to do it by RTC." My God how off policy can you get? Routing someone off while they are not there? No Fittness Board or anything? No comm Ev WTF?

    No ammount of arguing got me anywhere. My calls to IJC were blocked. SNR HCO ANZO refused to talk to me. My calls to the CO ANZO went unreturned.

    Well, it devestated me then but I have since realised was the best thing that could possibly have happened to me.

    Until a year or two before I left I was completely gung ho and 100% aligned
    with the purposes set out by LRH. Any outpoints I saw I either justified or put them on my "I will make sure it is corrected when I have enough power to do so" list. I was ambitious and saw my purpose in life as establishing HCOs and then the orgs in a sustainable fashion and setting them up to expand forever.

    This is what I saw as my part in clearing the planet. My eval, done when I first took over the network, showed that HASes all over the planet were unhatted on how to recruit, they lacked sales skills and although they were pushed for stats they were also constantly overloaded with orders that took them off their "Recruit, Hat, and Keep the comm lines moving" priorities. They were bogged down in handling "ethics" that were often unneccesary, conditions assigned from management orgs, disagreed with by staff and acting themselves as suppression on production lines. These condition assignments were 90% despite up stats. Staff were being called "off purpose" "frying other fish" "CI" "Dissafected" etc and treated as if they were enemies while working thier guts out. When stats were down, it was often because the staff member had no idea how to raise them. Or it was conditions beyond their control - which was no allowed to be percieved of course. Another major problem was the situation of stat pushes creating unrealistic poduction levels and thus new targets that could not be met and ultimately you'd get a crash. We even had a bare bones plan for that, however we saw it as priority to get HASes recruiting and hatting.

    EEI and I saw eye to eye on the solutions and I felt 100% confident we could get the job done. I had a fabulous team at Snr HCO Int and we were hard working and joyful. I was the happiest, most effective and OT I had ever been, we took arbitraries off the lines, helped HASes focus on their priorities and stats in HCOs took off. We were ecstatic. There was a long way to go but we could see our goals being achieved and our values of clear priorities, calm competence and honest effort (vs stat pushes) were being felt down the lines. The continual panic or apathy found in most HCOs began to lift in many of them and there was much joy.

    Then EEI was removed. An RTC mission was fired into SNR HCO Int and I was told to stop whatever I was doing. RTC began sending orders directly into orgs. I refused. When I was given a white wash comm ev with trumped up charges and taken off post as Snr HAS Int I was completely stunned. Right up until I was removed I believed it could not go through with such BS and on such high stats. When my efforts to speak with ED Int to find out why I had been witch hunted and get it fixed were stymied I assumed there was some kind of conspiricy to prevent HCO from being established. This was reinforced when I found out my replacement was a woman who LRH himself had written an issue oon stating she must "Never be posted in HCO". I took her post at Flag and found false stats rampant. When I KR'd it I was dragged into the RTC office and told I was trying to sabotage Scientology. When I showed them the LRH order they just shrugged thier shoulders. As I was transferred, first to Flag and then to the Freewinds my only purpose was to get back to PAC and get my injustice sorted out so I could get back on with my purpose. I was unprouctive and dissaffected during that time but still completely shocked to be told I had been "routed out" on an RTC order while I was on leave.

    It took me ten years after leaving to realise that Scientology was a BS cult with a so so talk therapy that helped some, did nothing at all for others and was 100% replacable with a myriad of choices in the real world. And that many of them do not come with an inbuilt individuality destruction virus such as we have seen infecting the peoples of Scientology.

    I still have a mystery on who/why EEI and then I was targetted and eliminated.

    Since reading all the ARS/ESMB/EXSCN Kids stuff I see many outpoints that I just did not see back then. Also there was a lot that went on that I did not see. I especially found it horrific that the Bridge and the upper OT levels are BS and all that work I put in, on the belief that I was helping people was really work on separating people from their money and their self determinism and their lives.

    To everyone I regged, to everyone I recruited or caused to be recruited, I am sorry that I led you in that direction but, having believed yourself, I am sure you understand.

    Natascha Fareed
    Last edited: Feb 3, 2009
  2. Panda Termint

    Panda Termint Cabal Of One

    Wow, way to come out Tasch! :D

    Thank you for posting this, you're a brave and wonderful Human Being! :)
  3. ttamaad

    ttamaad Silver Meritorious Patron

    Great Stuff... and what a way to go... so many unanswered, off policy (for them) items... makes you wonder what drugs they are really on

    Good for you, Natascha. Thanks for this!!!
  4. scooter

    scooter Gold Meritorious Patron

    Hey Nat - never had a problem with ANY of our interactions OK?

    You did the best job you could in an insane microcosm called the Sea Org.

    I remember you with fondness for what you did and what you tried to do, my friend :D

    And I'm soooooo glad you're out - hope this announcement of yours causes some brown stains for a few still in :p
  5. Feral

    Feral Rogue male

    That's great Tasch,

    I'm glad you've come out so overtly! Isn't it liberating??:happydance:

    It's also great to have a Snr HAS INT on the board!!

    Maybe ESMB is the EP of scientology training!:thumbsup:
  6. SchwimmelPuckel

    SchwimmelPuckel Genuine Meatball

    There it is! - I've seen this rationale so many times.. I can't say I felt that way myself. Not for long anyway.. I got into it expecting Scientology and it's people to be impeccably sane and effective.. I was soon proven wrong.. And when I was, I realized that nothing I could do would change anything. Too much BS and monkey business for bloody Batman!

    I sued them.. To slam the door and make noise.. I recall telling my OT5 friend that the suit might teach CoS some manners.. hehe.. Fat chance! - He was assigned the task of persuading me not to sue of course.

    Great post Natascha! :) Belated welcome on the outside! (I think this is the first time I answer one of your posts. But I do think I read all of 'em.. Well, there ARE a hell of a lot of posts being posted here these days!)

  7. Carmel

    Carmel Crusader

    Goodonya Girl! So good to have you put it out there! :thumbsup:

    There are many still "in" on Sydney lines, who will remember you - you've put another weight on the scales. :D :happydance:
  8. Alanzo

    Alanzo Bardo Tulpa

    Way to go, Natascha!
  9. Div6

    Div6 Crusader

    Thanks for the Intro. Please fill us in with other stories as you can.
    Upstats get shot in the SO. "They" (meaning DM) fears others building power bases. It is the ONLY way he can mantain his insane "punishing bodies" tone level of control that he does.

    As you can see from the boards you read, more rational minds prevail outside those "islands of insanity".

    Again, welcome.
  10. FoTi

    FoTi Crusader

    Thank you so much for coming out in the open and posting your story.

    You have my respect and admiration for doing so. :yes:

    Every story helps the rest of us to see what was going on where we weren't at the time and allows us to get a better view of the bigger picture overall.

    Last edited: Feb 3, 2009
  11. Good twin

    Good twin Floater

    Wow HA. Wow. :bigcry: It's so great to have you here. Thanks for posting this.

  12. cantsay

    cantsay Patron Meritorious

    Hi Natasha, its so good to see more from ANZO getting in here! Your story makes me very very glad I never joined the SO... Im sorry you were shot for doing your job. :bigcry:
  13. HappyGirl

    HappyGirl Gold Meritorious Patron

    HA - I have long awaited your story! Thanks for writing it.

    Me too! Very well put. :thumbsup:
  14. bobthesp

    bobthesp Patron with Honors

    I for one and I am sure anyone else that has awakened from the nightmare that
    is scn, forgive you.

    Thanks for your story so far.

  15. Been Done Had

    Been Done Had Patron with Honors

    Thank you Human for sharing your life. It sounds like your heart was in the right place and you gave it you all.

    I'm a broken record on this, but the culture of the church is so toxic. The best and brightest are mistreated, broken and discarded.

    LRH was trying to shape Scientologists in his image. He had no concept of quality of life, of joy, of compassion.

    Treat people right, let them have a good life and they will bend over backwards for you.
  16. klidov

    klidov Silver Meritorious Patron

    A belated welcome to you! :happydance:

    Natascha Fareed, I am proud of you. You really are among friends here.
  17. AnonyMary

    AnonyMary Formerly Fooled - Finally Free

  18. HCObringOrder?

    HCObringOrder? Silver Meritorious Patron


    Shot for being up stat.
    Replaced by the worst choice.
    Support removed first.
    The False stats soared!
    You were HCO, the only section of the Org Board that could do something about the problems.
    You were getting too powerful and there was nothing that anyone had on you to control you with.
    You were respected, liked, up stat.
    Oh, and you are a woman. (DM does not like to have women more powerful than him, unless they are the same size as him and are part of his harem.)

    Not much more I can say in addition to the above folks.
    So - Ditto.
  19. Iknowtoomuch

    Iknowtoomuch Gold Meritorious Patron

    Thank you so much for sharing your story. :flowers2:
    Looking forward to anything else you have to write. I was disappointed to not see the next part up yet. More when you're ready, please!
  20. Wisened One

    Wisened One Crusader