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Blanky's Blog ~ Scientology Widow

Discussion in 'General Scientology Discussion' started by Intentionally Blank, Feb 26, 2018.

  1. Intentionally Blank

    Intentionally Blank Scientology Widow

    Karen#1, Whattodo and Type4_PTS like this.
  2. hummingbird

    hummingbird Patron with Honors

  3. Intentionally Blank

    Intentionally Blank Scientology Widow

    Today I talk about Scientology and their war on professional mental health care. And some of the bizarre beliefs about psychiatry and psychology. And of course, my late husband, Brian.

    My late husband, Brian, always said, "Scientology saved my life." For the first year or so I just smiled and nodded - and wondered what the heck that meant. Later I began to ask about it. Did they pull you out of the way of an oncoming truck? Nurse you through polio? Stop a terrorist attack in progress? (Okay, I may not have been that... ahem... overtly... ahem...sarcastic but I may have thought it.) The answer to my more generically worded question was, for years, sketchy. "They just did." "I was a mess." "All the wins I got from the tech." And then he'd start expounding on how great the tech was and "if only I could get more Scientology." Since that tended to lead to me rolling my eyes (always excellent relationship behavior, by the way) after a while I just didn't ask.

    It was years later that he finally told me 'saving his life' meant he stopped taking anti-depressants and other psych meds when he got involved with the church. Now, I'll be the first to tell you I'm not a big fan of drugs of any sort but I never thought of ditching anti-depressants as life saving. Quality of life? Maybe one could make an argument for that; it would be up to the person making that choice. But life saving? I was back to smiling and nodding.

    By the time he explained the life saving heroism of Scientology I had a fair understanding of their position on psych meds: Evil and forbidden. But I didn't really understand the hate/hate relationship with the field of psychiatry and psychology. L Ron Hubbard taught, and Scientologists believe, psychiatrists are actively seeking to destroy humanity by continuing to decrease their 'abilities by fogging their brains with these medications. All psychiatrists. And the psychologists too. And probably your local school counselor. Not only that, the evil psychs have the government in their pocket, and use the power of legislation to forward their evil designs on humans. They're bad. Really bad.

    How do you even address that kind of crazy belief? And here's the interesting cognitive dissonance - ...more here.
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  4. guRl

    guRl Patron with Honors

    Blanky, I'm so sorry for your loss :heartflower:

    Thank you so much for opening your blog and speaking out so courageously. I always took very special interest in yours and your husband's story, and I really wanted it to evolve differently :(

    I wish you all healing & love possible, and will read your blog to learn and remember.

  5. Intentionally Blank

    Intentionally Blank Scientology Widow

    The Illegal PC – Scientology’s Leprosy

    Today I tell a little more of Brian's illegal pc status and his attempt to have it reviewed. And a whole lot about the cruelty of what it means to be an illegal PC in the Cult of Scientlogy.

    Brian's story is layers upon layers of complexity. (Ergo, a book.) Sometimes even I have trouble keeping everything straight. If it were just a rare mental illness that would be a pretty big deal. Or cancer. Or getting attacked by the Church of Scientology (COS). But it goes on and on, and each of those roads we could go down has it's own multiple layers of complexity. Today I want to tell you about what it means to be an illegal preclear (illegal pc) in the Church of Scientology.
    People don't talk much about illegal pcs, in part because they're not that common. Most people who come into Scientology and are labeled as such (and what kind of church labels their members as illegal?) don't tend to stay very long. If you are an illegal preclear you are not eligible .... More here

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  6. Intentionally Blank

    Intentionally Blank Scientology Widow

    Hey there :)

    Thank you so much for that. Of course I had the same wish and, actually, until he died (the first time, I watched him die twice) I never thought he wouldn't recover. If it had been just the catatonia I think we would have found help soon enough. And if it was just cancer - well - that was regressing. But the combination of a rare mental illness with cancer and a Scientology background either blinded the medical profession or made them hesitant to cross the 'religion' line.

    For me, much of the trauma symptoms are better. The only good thing about winter in the frozen tundra is you can't forget what season it is! But I miss him every day.

  7. Enthetan

    Enthetan Master of Disaster

    Illegal PCs often just drift away, UNLESS the illegal PC is married (or otherwise closely connected) to a Scientologist. An illegal PC is allowed to train as an auditor, and many are encouraged to train in the hope that a good record as an auditor might result in petition approval.

    My wife was an illegal PC. The years turned into an endless series of petitions and "eligibility sec checks".
  8. Intentionally Blank

    Intentionally Blank Scientology Widow

    Yes, B was an auditor also - although I don't know if he was allowed to audit others in the church. Interesting question. He never did as long as we were together so I assume not.

    What happened with your wife's petitions?
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  9. Enthetan

    Enthetan Master of Disaster

    Nothing happened. Every couple of years we were told to do an eligibility sec check and re-petition. Not approved. Finally I said fuck it.
  10. Intentionally Blank

    Intentionally Blank Scientology Widow

    Yeah, B never even got as far as the sec check.

    Can I ask, was there a laundry list of things the org was supposed to gather and supply to the Sr C/S of your part of the world? I don't have B's in front of me but it was things like have the CS at the org write a report, ditto Ethics, other stuff like that. No one ever did any of the action items. They just ran him in circles.
  11. Gib

    Gib Crusader

    Did Brian ever talk to you about going clear or OT?

    Also, why do think Brian wanted to continue with scientology?
    Last edited: Mar 3, 2018
  12. Intentionally Blank

    Intentionally Blank Scientology Widow

    Mmmm.... how do you mean? I think he'd long since given up hope of that for himself. All he was looking for was permission to do the Purif and the Objectives again, at least to start.

    Once in a while he would tell me I was probably a past life clear. I worked very hard not to roll my eyes and snort :/

    He did have something of a hero worship for people on the OT levels. Joe Schumacher, from the local org, co-officiated at our wedding. He was an OT8, I think. Brian thought he was some fabulous super being but really he's just an older gentleman with health and family issues.
  13. Gib

    Gib Crusader

    so you rolled your eyes. So you knew it was BS, but still loved the guy. It's a hard one, I know, I dealt with it since 2012.
  14. Intentionally Blank

    Intentionally Blank Scientology Widow

    LOL. Fair.
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  15. Lurker5

    Lurker5 Gold Meritorious Patron

  16. Intentionally Blank

    Intentionally Blank Scientology Widow

    Today's post: Scientology's Web of Destruction. Read here

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  17. Intentionally Blank

    Intentionally Blank Scientology Widow

    I just saw your addition. B had some trauma and anxiety challenges before he was in Scientology which he carried through life. He was also most likely ADD. He told me once he took Ritalin for a while and it was great. (But somehow could reconcile that with scn saved his life by getting him off it...)

    Anyway, he believed he had great 'wins' from his early courses and the brief time he was allowed by the GO to audit. His constant refrain was if only he could get more Scientology and especially auditing he would 'get more traction in life.' During his psychiatric care as a young adult his parents were told he would never be able to hold a job, manage his own life, etc. None of that was true - but he believed it to some degree. Years later when I pointed out he was doing just fine he attributed it, of course, to the little scn he had been able to do. Scientology told him they could make him 'more able' and more successful.
    dchoiceisalwaysrs likes this.
  18. Intentionally Blank

    Intentionally Blank Scientology Widow

    My most recent blog post.

    Scientology and the Cult of Mental Health Stigma

    Thanks for reading and sharing with others. The more we share all our stories the greater our power to bring down this cult.
    Lurker5 likes this.
  19. Intentionally Blank

    Intentionally Blank Scientology Widow

    In today's post I begin a conversation about Scientology and fear and I talk about what this date means to me.

    This, btw, is Mr Blanky, my deeply loved and missed husband, Brian.
  20. lotus

    lotus stubborn rebel sheep!

    Hi Blanky,

    I read your blog.
    You are a good writer, your story (Mr Blanky and your) would deserve a book for sure.

    Anyway much thanks for sharing.
    It's a rare opportunity we have to get a non-cultist viewpoint but who has too experience the devastation of $cientology.

    There is something I didn't get , may I ask about it ???
    When you encountered Brian and became in love with him, did you know he was a $cientologist ???
    Did you, in any manner, got involved in the cult ??? Did you know at that time what $cientology was and how destructive???

    Thank you for your reply.

    Love to you
    Last edited: Mar 10, 2018
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