Obviously, OSA actively reviews message boards such as this. Perhaps, with some interest, you've read my posts. Perhaps with relief you see I've stated I'll not be that active here any longer.
Because I'm on this board, anything I say will be greeted witch skepticism, or anger, or disbelief, by those still in support of the church.
Your job is one of the most difficult in Scn. For you have to read and interact with what the church would label as lies, on a regular basis.
Since my statements of fact would have little if any credibility for you, I will not try to convince you of any events. What I am going to do is recount the questions which I asked myself that led to my departure from the church.
I feel strongly that most staff members join the church to better themselves and make the world a better place.
In Christianity, we are all familiar with the story of Abraham and Isaac, wherein the Lord asked him to prove his love by sacrificing his son. I never understood how Christians could recount that horrible tale, as I don't believe love for a higher power should be a justification to do harm (though God did stop him before the actual event). So I am biased, in that manner.
Questions I asked myself, which led to my departure;
1. I witnessed a staff person in the church die from lack of medical care. He would have lived far longer had he received proper medical care. Yet he was a spiritual being, so the body didn't matter, in the eyes of the church. But for the church, he would have lived. He was not unique. I asked myself that if my dedication to doing good led to the sacrifice of this man's life, through lack of proper attention, was that moral? The same thing continues today. Is a spiritual organization good if they are willing to allow people to die, when lives could otherwise be saved?
2. I asked myself if I was the one in 1. above, how would I feel about being allowed to die without proper efforts to keep me alive?
3. I looked at the older staff people in the church, and the lives of physical discomfort they lived. Even Hubbard had recreation, whatever food and luxuries he desired, time for movies, recreation, new clothes, etc. But the elder staff of the church received little regard for their differences in sleep requirements, comfort, etc, compared to the younger members. And when they were RPFed? The results were tortuous. God forbid that they should leave the church, for they had no social security, no money, no skills that translated into the real world, and if they had relations with their family, it had usually been severely strained by their time on staff. What if that was me, I wondered, who had spent years in Scn, and now had nothing? I knew well meaning people could be RPFed or booted, so always, in the back of my mind, when I saw such things with others, I knew with time those victim's lives could parallel my own.
4. Childbearing was frowned upon. Now, it is worse. But for those who had children, there was no time to spend with them, no vacations, inadequate medical and dental care, not enough money for the basics of life such as clothing, toys, and maybe an occassional family vacation. If I was to have children, I wanted the time and ability to spend with them, and someday, to adore my grandchildren. Would I, I asked myself, want to raise my kids in the Scn environment? Hell no. Or would I want to live my life and not bring my progeny into the world? Also a resounding no.
I will make an opinion, which, as an OSA person, you may disagree with. But history has shown that cultures can often be judged by the way they treat their elders and their young. The future of cultures could often be predicted by their behavior in that area.
5. If clearing is so fantastic, why was it that the vast majority of past clears were no longer involved with Scn? Why was it a huge number had been declared?
6. The number of staff members who'd left was far greater than the number who still were on staff. Were it not for an infusion of new staff, the rate of departures would have led to a markedly decreasing pool of staff. IF Scn produced such life changing results, why was it stastically far more likely than not a person would someday leave staff?
7. Why had I never, ever seen anyone that was the avowed product that the upper levels promised?
8. If Hubbard was the end all of Scn, why did he have skin cancer, get colds and tummy aches, suffer with emotional disturbances, make faulty decisions?
9. Why did most of the people who worked with Hubbard ultimately end up leaving?
10. Did the end justify the means? Without recounting the past, I'm sure most people reading this, especially you at OSA, could itemize things that the church routinely carries out that are either illegal or immoral, justified because they are needed to make the world a better place. History was replete with examples of other religions who pushed the same mind set. Was it right to carry out wrong things for the "greater good"? And where was the elusive "greater good"? Where were the spiritual beings and bettering of the planet which certain members of the church were willing to foresake normal rules of living in a society in order to achieve?
11. With time, how would I feel about actions I condoned, in the interest of the "greater good", which ran contrary to morality or the law?
12. When I lay alone in bed at night, I asked myself, was I truly, really doing good? I was sacrificing what I otherwise could achieve in my lifetime, in the effort to make the world a better place. But was I really making the world a better place? Or was I turning a blind eye to transgressions, just like the Nazi guards in Treblinka? Failing to use my common sense or a sense of morality, because everyone else did it, so so should I?
13. What if Scn was wrong? What if, as years passed, I found that what most of the people who'd left had said was true, and Scn was not good? How would I feel about the dedication and sacrifices I'd made, which not only didn't really help that much, but in many cases hurt?
14. How could I, with a clear conscience, advise people to dedicate their lives to staff, or spend their life savings and more as public, when I couldn't see any true benefit to these actions, and in fact, could actually see quite negative results?
15. Why would Hubbard's son kill himself? Who would know Scn and tech better, but he chose to take his own life rather than walking in the steps of his father. Why?
16. How could I condone the rupturing of families, rather than preaching tolerance of diverse spiritual beliefs? A mother or father would always be a mother or father, and their advice, though perhaps contrary to Scn beliefs, was spoken because of love and concern for their children. Why should such concern be punished with termination of family ties, rather than understanding?
17. Hubbard had said something like 2% of people were SPs. Why was it that of all the staff members who ever worked for Scn, a far, far greater percentage than that were ultimately declared suppressive? Was it possible that they weren't suppressive, but rather had chosen to disagree, not condone immoral or unethical activity, and leave?
18. Did I feel good about myself and my actions? If there was some sort of judgement, or Karma, in the world, could I stand up and honestly feel I had done my best to help others, be kind, become spiritual and make the world a better place? Was I proud of my actions?
You know, in your heart of hearts, that more than likely, whether you are OSA or simply Scn staff or public, that you will someday leave the church. And you, whoever you might be, will ask yourselves the same questions, alone, with your own conscience as your guide.
Perhaps you will look back and remember this, from an unknown person, who told tales which may or may not have been true, about Hubbard and how things at the top worked.
I can empathize with the difficulty of being in Scn, yet, like the Grinch Who Stole Christmas, have to contend with a growing conscence.
Best of luck.
Cowboy
Because I'm on this board, anything I say will be greeted witch skepticism, or anger, or disbelief, by those still in support of the church.
Your job is one of the most difficult in Scn. For you have to read and interact with what the church would label as lies, on a regular basis.
Since my statements of fact would have little if any credibility for you, I will not try to convince you of any events. What I am going to do is recount the questions which I asked myself that led to my departure from the church.
I feel strongly that most staff members join the church to better themselves and make the world a better place.
In Christianity, we are all familiar with the story of Abraham and Isaac, wherein the Lord asked him to prove his love by sacrificing his son. I never understood how Christians could recount that horrible tale, as I don't believe love for a higher power should be a justification to do harm (though God did stop him before the actual event). So I am biased, in that manner.
Questions I asked myself, which led to my departure;
1. I witnessed a staff person in the church die from lack of medical care. He would have lived far longer had he received proper medical care. Yet he was a spiritual being, so the body didn't matter, in the eyes of the church. But for the church, he would have lived. He was not unique. I asked myself that if my dedication to doing good led to the sacrifice of this man's life, through lack of proper attention, was that moral? The same thing continues today. Is a spiritual organization good if they are willing to allow people to die, when lives could otherwise be saved?
2. I asked myself if I was the one in 1. above, how would I feel about being allowed to die without proper efforts to keep me alive?
3. I looked at the older staff people in the church, and the lives of physical discomfort they lived. Even Hubbard had recreation, whatever food and luxuries he desired, time for movies, recreation, new clothes, etc. But the elder staff of the church received little regard for their differences in sleep requirements, comfort, etc, compared to the younger members. And when they were RPFed? The results were tortuous. God forbid that they should leave the church, for they had no social security, no money, no skills that translated into the real world, and if they had relations with their family, it had usually been severely strained by their time on staff. What if that was me, I wondered, who had spent years in Scn, and now had nothing? I knew well meaning people could be RPFed or booted, so always, in the back of my mind, when I saw such things with others, I knew with time those victim's lives could parallel my own.
4. Childbearing was frowned upon. Now, it is worse. But for those who had children, there was no time to spend with them, no vacations, inadequate medical and dental care, not enough money for the basics of life such as clothing, toys, and maybe an occassional family vacation. If I was to have children, I wanted the time and ability to spend with them, and someday, to adore my grandchildren. Would I, I asked myself, want to raise my kids in the Scn environment? Hell no. Or would I want to live my life and not bring my progeny into the world? Also a resounding no.
I will make an opinion, which, as an OSA person, you may disagree with. But history has shown that cultures can often be judged by the way they treat their elders and their young. The future of cultures could often be predicted by their behavior in that area.
5. If clearing is so fantastic, why was it that the vast majority of past clears were no longer involved with Scn? Why was it a huge number had been declared?
6. The number of staff members who'd left was far greater than the number who still were on staff. Were it not for an infusion of new staff, the rate of departures would have led to a markedly decreasing pool of staff. IF Scn produced such life changing results, why was it stastically far more likely than not a person would someday leave staff?
7. Why had I never, ever seen anyone that was the avowed product that the upper levels promised?
8. If Hubbard was the end all of Scn, why did he have skin cancer, get colds and tummy aches, suffer with emotional disturbances, make faulty decisions?
9. Why did most of the people who worked with Hubbard ultimately end up leaving?
10. Did the end justify the means? Without recounting the past, I'm sure most people reading this, especially you at OSA, could itemize things that the church routinely carries out that are either illegal or immoral, justified because they are needed to make the world a better place. History was replete with examples of other religions who pushed the same mind set. Was it right to carry out wrong things for the "greater good"? And where was the elusive "greater good"? Where were the spiritual beings and bettering of the planet which certain members of the church were willing to foresake normal rules of living in a society in order to achieve?
11. With time, how would I feel about actions I condoned, in the interest of the "greater good", which ran contrary to morality or the law?
12. When I lay alone in bed at night, I asked myself, was I truly, really doing good? I was sacrificing what I otherwise could achieve in my lifetime, in the effort to make the world a better place. But was I really making the world a better place? Or was I turning a blind eye to transgressions, just like the Nazi guards in Treblinka? Failing to use my common sense or a sense of morality, because everyone else did it, so so should I?
13. What if Scn was wrong? What if, as years passed, I found that what most of the people who'd left had said was true, and Scn was not good? How would I feel about the dedication and sacrifices I'd made, which not only didn't really help that much, but in many cases hurt?
14. How could I, with a clear conscience, advise people to dedicate their lives to staff, or spend their life savings and more as public, when I couldn't see any true benefit to these actions, and in fact, could actually see quite negative results?
15. Why would Hubbard's son kill himself? Who would know Scn and tech better, but he chose to take his own life rather than walking in the steps of his father. Why?
16. How could I condone the rupturing of families, rather than preaching tolerance of diverse spiritual beliefs? A mother or father would always be a mother or father, and their advice, though perhaps contrary to Scn beliefs, was spoken because of love and concern for their children. Why should such concern be punished with termination of family ties, rather than understanding?
17. Hubbard had said something like 2% of people were SPs. Why was it that of all the staff members who ever worked for Scn, a far, far greater percentage than that were ultimately declared suppressive? Was it possible that they weren't suppressive, but rather had chosen to disagree, not condone immoral or unethical activity, and leave?
18. Did I feel good about myself and my actions? If there was some sort of judgement, or Karma, in the world, could I stand up and honestly feel I had done my best to help others, be kind, become spiritual and make the world a better place? Was I proud of my actions?
You know, in your heart of hearts, that more than likely, whether you are OSA or simply Scn staff or public, that you will someday leave the church. And you, whoever you might be, will ask yourselves the same questions, alone, with your own conscience as your guide.
Perhaps you will look back and remember this, from an unknown person, who told tales which may or may not have been true, about Hubbard and how things at the top worked.
I can empathize with the difficulty of being in Scn, yet, like the Grinch Who Stole Christmas, have to contend with a growing conscence.
Best of luck.
Cowboy
If I had just left "so and so" alone - not told them "Scientology works when standard-ly applied". DAMN! Why did I not leave them alone!! 
walks into a church and says "I'm OT8 last life, I'm now here to do OT9 and up. Now what?
