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DISCONNECTION

Bea Kiddo

Crusader
I guess recent questions and comments on other threads have inspired me to open a thread on this.

Its tough for me, because I am not sure how I feel. Alot to it.

My father got declared in 75 and we disconnected from him. We were in touch with him briefly in 82, but not since then.

And now I am declared, though its never been stated, my mother (who is in the Sea Org still) is disconnected from me.

----

When I asked CJC about contacting my dad (before I left, I had a conversation with CJC PAC), and he told me "we dont really approve of SP's getting together" (you know, like I would be starting a suppressive group. He did not heavily object to it, but at the same time, casually disapproving of it.

----

At this point, I say fuck that.

---

But about my mom. I have had a lot of emotion and frustration about her (not blaming you A for bringing her up, ok?). I love her. I mean I guess I do. But at the same time, I feel like I hardly know her. It's weird. If she wants to jump ship, I will be here for her. But there is alot of repair to do. And I am not the one in lower conditions in the family, know what I mean?

----

And my question for this thread: Anyone else have family they are disconnected from?

Has anyone had it both ways like me? Having one who has been declared that I disconnected from, then getting declared themselves and have others disconnect from you?

Curious of others outtakes on this.
 

Mary

Patron with Honors
Hi Bea,

I so wish I could talk more openly on the subject. My heart goes out to you Bea and your mum. As a mother myself, I am certain that she loves you dearly. I can only imagine the heartrending choice she was forced to make.

I mentioned before that my daughter is still in the Sea Org. She is still very young, and so very vulnerable.

Through absolutely no fault of her own she was given a ruthless choice:

If she stayed in contact with her mother, that she knows is not an SP and that she loves very much, she would loose;

Her father, who she also loves very much. All her family on his side. Her career in the Sea Org, not to mention her whole spiritual eternity, and all her friends in Scientology, which is all she has known since she was born.

If she disconnected from her mother, there was always the chance that her mother could do the A to E steps. I believe that she was re-assured that these were easy to do and many people have done them and been restored. It would only be a temporary disconnection until her mother "came to her senses" and did a few simple steps.

I cannot blame her or make her wrong for this decision.

If only she knew what I know now! If only I could give her the understanding I have gotten from my experience and other members of this board.
 

ExScnDude

Patron with Honors
In one sense, when I joined staff I was virtually in a state of disconnection from my family even though my family was on staff too.

You get so caught up in being on post and playing that whole game that the other dynamics very quickly get into a state of non-existence.

The real disconnection occurred years earlier; and the physical disconnection in PT is more or less late on the chain which is why it is more difficult to come to grips with.

ExScnDude
 

ozzie

Patron with Honors
Unfortunately I have a situation where my parents are declared. Yes, I am one of those who grew up in Scn and joined the SO at an early age. Was in it for 17 yrs and I left under some very rotten circumstances.

I have two sisters and a brother who were also in the Sea Org. My sisters are still there. One is in the SP room. I have nieces and a nephew who I havent seen in a very long time.

I am not declared - at least I have never seen one. I still live in an environment where Scnists live. I have no choice in that at the moment.

My sisters do not communicate with me - they cut their communication some years ago and from what I understand it was due to the fact I was ex-so and am therefore a "DB".

My brother was on the Freewinds - had been there since the age of 15 - he's now in his 40s. He apparently blew, but no one has seen or heard from him - all my family knows is one of my sisters contacted my non scn brother in England and asked if he had seen him. My brother who was on the Freewinds hasn't seen my parents since he was 15. They are worried sick about him, but we don't know where he is.

My mother cried the other day when she found out my sister was in the SP room - she said she wished she had never gotten any of us involved in that Church. I hate what Scn and the Sea Org has done to my family.

I feel helpless - this is probably the main thing that got me out of the Sea and Scn. My whole family has been affected by this. It has all but destroyed my life.

I wish there was an easy solution, but it seems like there isn't.

I bide my time till I can do something that will result in the freedom of my family. I hope it is sooner than later.

I totally understand those who have been affected by this horrible policy.

Ozzie:sad:
 

Bea Kiddo

Crusader
My god Ozzie. I had no idea. Wow. I am so sorry. I hope things work out for you!! Let me know if I can help somehow?
 

Lulu Belle

Moonbat
In one sense, when I joined staff I was virtually in a state of disconnection from my family even though my family was on staff too.

You get so caught up in being on post and playing that whole game that the other dynamics very quickly get into a state of non-existence.

The real disconnection occurred years earlier; and the physical disconnection in PT is more or less late on the chain which is why it is more difficult to come to grips with.

ExScnDude


I have a lot of reality on this.
 

Mary

Patron with Honors
Be-jeasus Ozzie!!

If its any consolation, you are not alone in this.

I think there will be many others who are beginning to see some of the crazy insanity for what it is.

I was Scientology public for 25 years or more and I had no idea about any of this. Hard to believe that I could have been so ignorant. When public do find out, they will not support the Church.

This message board is very important - these things must be told so that there will be more chance for the general public to find out what is really going on with this so-called Church.
 

ozzie

Patron with Honors
Thanks so much you guys for your support - and I certainly am aware that there are many others in the same situation as me.

I think this policy of disconnection is what gets people who leave the Church the most. It is soooo wrong and destroys so many people and their families.

My parents were actually declared over the phone by my sister when the whole mission thing was going on in 82. My dad was an original Dianetics auditor in the 50s in Melbourne - he believed in L. Ron Hubbard from the very beginning. My whole family moved to England to be where Scientology was and to practice it. There wasn't a question of my being involved and working for the Church as I believed in it too. I grew up with it. And I think that my parents being shoved aside like that with my sister screaming at them and telling my mother how F***ed she was, was the beginning of the end for me.

No way were my parents suppressive - no way! Didn't make sense and it still doesn't - I refused to disconnect and I never will for the sake of any church or any belief because I know my parents and I know how good and kind they are and how much they helped me and my family succeed in life.

My children have also been affected by this policy - they don't see their cousins or their aunts and uncles. And my children haven't done anything to these people. NOTHING!

It is probably the biggest piece of BS in the Church today and it is probably the one that has the most impact.

I only wish there was something I could do to help get rid of this policy.

Meanwhile we all go on and we do what we can to survive and succeed.

Ozzie
 

Roadrunner

Patron with Honors
Thanks so much you guys for your support - and I certainly am aware that there are many others in the same situation as me.

I think this policy of disconnection is what gets people who leave the Church the most. It is soooo wrong and destroys so many people and their families.

My parents were actually declared over the phone by my sister when the whole mission thing was going on in 82. My dad was an original Dianetics auditor in the 50s in Melbourne - he believed in L. Ron Hubbard from the very beginning. My whole family moved to England to be where Scientology was and to practice it. There wasn't a question of my being involved and working for the Church as I believed in it too. I grew up with it. And I think that my parents being shoved aside like that with my sister screaming at them and telling my mother how F***ed she was, was the beginning of the end for me.

No way were my parents suppressive - no way! Didn't make sense and it still doesn't - I refused to disconnect and I never will for the sake of any church or any belief because I know my parents and I know how good and kind they are and how much they helped me and my family succeed in life.

My children have also been affected by this policy - they don't see their cousins or their aunts and uncles. And my children haven't done anything to these people. NOTHING!

It is probably the biggest piece of BS in the Church today and it is probably the one that has the most impact.

I only wish there was something I could do to help get rid of this policy.

Meanwhile we all go on and we do what we can to survive and succeed.

Ozzie

If you have a case, you inform people of their rights, and find out what the deal actually is concerning disconnection.

RR
 

SchwimmelPuckel

Genuine Meatball
I'll just put in a little plug here. Songbird from OCMB (and here too as of recently) is looking for these things. That's something or other going on, with legal or news stuff (dunno any details), that needs to be documented solidly.

This thread: EXPOSING CoS ABUSES - PLEASE HELP

So I could tell a story.. I was disconnected 20 years ago. My kids have grown up in the meantime. So I missed being a dad that way.. Fortunatly the kids didn't get gobbled up by Cof$ and the Sea Org, but I didn't know that during those 20 years. There was two decades where I thought my wife and kids were in that mindbender circus on the other side of the planet. A situation I have likened to losing them in open space. Their lives lost.. And my responsibility too.

So, my story is too old. Besides, the story could easily be rejected as a 'normal' divorce, since I don't have any documentation at all. Hell, I hardly know what the hell was going on. Other than being divorced because I didn't like $cientology anymore... And my 'former' family is still in. I can't go whole hog public on that without making a merry mess of things.

:sadwave:
 

Roadrunner

Patron with Honors
Has the Scientology cult discontinued its SP Doctrine?

According to Scientology, SPs have no rights.

You talk like Gerry Armstrong. And you use his invented expressions.

How are you associated with him?

According to Scientology one should establish if rules and guidelines have been followed.

RR
 

Zinjifar

Silver Meritorious Sponsor
You talk like Gerry Armstrong. And you use his invented expressions.

How are you associated with him?

According to Scientology one should establish if rules and guidelines have been followed.

RR

Tch, Michel, false 'identification' means you're insane :)

What in what 'Veda' said is 'invented' by Gerry Armstrong?

SP? Rights? The fact that SPs should *have* no rights?

Zinj
 

SchwimmelPuckel

Genuine Meatball
We don't do things 'according' to $cientology RR. SP doctrine is a perfectly normal and descriptive phrase denoting the set of policies that Hubturd issued re. SP's. Some of us oppose that.

And your paranoic, hypersensitive and sore button re. Gerry Armstring is.. FRICKIN' HILARIOUS!!! :hysterical: MEWHAAAAHAHAHAAAHAAAAA!!!


Sure you're not the little fakir? :brow:

:D
 

Zinjifar

Silver Meritorious Sponsor
Something will be done about this despicable practice. You can bet on that.

The only solution to the dispicable practice of enforced disconnection is the elimination of the organization which orders and enforces Disconnection.

The sooner the better.

Zinj
 

Roadrunner

Patron with Honors
Tch, Michel, false 'identification' means you're insane :)

What in what 'Veda' said is 'invented' by Gerry Armstrong?

SP? Rights? The fact that SPs should *have* no rights?

Zinj

You claim false identification, but are nonetheless not observative or aware enough that you can see what has been invented by Gerry Armstrong. Isn't that typical?

You are at the wrong end about SPs having no rights (as a Scientologist from Scientologists). I never addressed that. You see, it is you that is subjected to false 'identification'. First try to understand that what I say...

RR
 

Roadrunner

Patron with Honors
We don't do things 'according' to $cientology RR. SP doctrine is a perfectly normal and descriptive phrase denoting the set of policies that Hubturd issued re. SP's. Some of us oppose that.

And your paranoic, hypersensitive and sore button re. Gerry Armstring is.. FRICKIN' HILARIOUS!!! :hysterical: MEWHAAAAHAHAHAAAHAAAAA!!!


Sure you're not the little fakir? :brow:

:D

First try to make a coherent argument. You make some claims you can not actually support by fact.

Establish your target, the correct one. If you do not, you are deemed to fail.

RR
 
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