staffmember1234
Patron
Seriously, does Excalibur actually exist? Has it ever leaked? Have any of you ever seen it? From a curiosity standpoint I would like to read it.
Seriously, does Excalibur actually exist? Has it ever leaked? Have any of you ever seen it? From a curiosity standpoint I would like to read it.
Seriously, does Excalibur actually exist? Has it ever leaked? Have any of you ever seen it? From a curiosity standpoint I would like to read it.
Dear Staffmember1234,
Thank you for your inquiry about my client, Mr. Hubbard's, unpublished book Excalibur.
Our publishing company is delighted with your interest in this groundbreaking masterpiece. However, in all fairness, I must advise you that the previous persons who read the galley version promptly went insane or leaped out of skycrapers. This was a most unfortunate development due to the extremely beneficial information contained within it.
Had Mr. Hubbard's book not contained so much helpful information, he assures us that nobody would have been tragically killed.
Therefore, in your own interests, we regrettably advise you that we will not be sending you a copy and hereby enclose your uncashed check.
I myself have read the book and it is, I assure you, a bigger discovery than the wheel or fire. It will, when suitably published, change the course of human history and bring about a world without war, criminality and insanity. Others have expressed their concern that I might jump out of a skyscraper, but be assured I shall not. Neither have I gone insane as previous publishers, although many say this to me on a daily basis.
If and when we receive clearances from Mr. Hubbard, we will contact you that you might purchase a copy of Excalibur. The second chapter is even more astonishing than the first, for it contains the secret to the mysteries of the universe that can bring you riches beyond your wildest dreams and immortality. I will not say more right now.
Until then, I remain;
Sincerely Yours,
Mr. E. Sandwich
VP Sales
Universal Publishing Corporation