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In all my lurking in the past few months, I don't think I have ever run across anyone talking about their experience as an Outer Org Trainee.

For those not familiar with this training program, what happens is a Class V Org decides to (or is forced to) send one of their staff members to train at Flag or a Continental Training Org. They get through their training program and return to their Class V org as "Flag-Trained!!" Generally it is to train for some kind of technical post, i.e.: auditor, case supervisor, course supervisor; although sometimes they send people for other training as well.

I went to Flag as an Outer Org Trainee and it was probably the first truly awful experience I had as a Scientologist. At my home org it was very friendly and all about helping yourself and others become more able, yada yada yada. We might have been delusional but we were happily delusional.

So I got talked into going to Flag. "Wow!" everyone said, "You'll love Flag!"

The Flag...

As I look over the years of the Scientology Empires Rise and Fall, I saw something heavenly gradiently descend into hell.

I saw how the tiniest thing led to terrible abuses.

Take for instance the first time we had to tell a shore story to hide LRH's presence.......I knew immediately we had given the OK to lie, to keep lying until the truth is long forgotten.

Statistics.....fabulous Tech.....Lets you know where you are at....yet, how it distorted everything.....a simple thing like recruiting.......loading a poverty ridden Org with unhatted untrained staff.

Now we get into incredible financial abuses.

Manning the Org Board......God how that destroyed people pay.....I remember visiting the St Louis Org....the had 128 staff and one auditor......and one supervisor.......Barry Kline was ED.......such insanity.

Each little distortion led to incredible horrors.

Destroying the Mission Network......guaranteed every outer Org, AO, ASHO, SO, CMO witch hunts, purges, downstats and abuses...

I must have reposted this essay 5 or 6 times already, but it is a gem, so I'm posting it again. It is perfect to show someone who is having doubts about their involvement in the CoS.

Warning - Very long but well worth it!

1975 - 1980 (ish)

This story is not for the faint hearted. Read on, if you wish. I will have to do in segments, as it covers thirty years.

When I was born, my mother was already on staff in a Cl V org. She really wanted to join the Sea Org, but, per her, my father would not have it. He was also in staff in the same org. (My mother told me stories about him which I don't know if they are true as I did not hear his side). I also have an older brother. Both of us used to hang out at the org with her.

I remember one time my brother got bored and disappeared. The police brought him back in to the org. He had gone outside onto a four lane street and was walking on the yellow line. He was four or five at that time. Another time he was found walking down the street by a friend about 1/2 mile from the org. The friend asked him where he was going, and he said he was walking to his grandparents house (500 miles away). He brought him back to the org.

A few years later, I dont know...

Hi, my name is David Graham, and I must admit that I have always been a bit of a "loose cannon", and it seemed to have served me well when I was in Scientology. Here's my story or what I remember of it.

I remember when my sister and her husband invited me over for dinner in their newly acquired what could only be called a penthouse, in a cliff-top block of apartments overlooking one of Sydney's beaches with its beautiful norfolk pines.

After dinner they took out this large chart opened if on the carpet and some books. Yes it was a dissemination. I was intrigued by the ability gained at OT V, exteriorization at will with full perception, A the first few pages of the Dianetic Picture Book. I recall that when they told me it was Scientology, I made the comment, "Isn't that the church which was banned a few years ago?" then after a pause and some thinking, I added, "No .... I think that was Theosophy". The buggars said nothing!

I left that night with their copy of...

So here goes. Just decided a few days ago. Can't get off the internet after finally allowing myself to look at it. And you know what? I didn't get ill, go insane, or die when I visited these supposedly "evil" sites. I DID find a lot of info they didn't want me to see. And I DID experience a tremendous amout of waking up and relief. And that feeling of "How could I have been so STUPID?"

I haven't told family or friends yet. I'm still getting calls for events, and having discussions with the people who call me.

But I can say I'm definitely out now.

One, two, three, four! I'm not brainwashed anymore!

I'm free now to think whatever thoughts I want. Gone is the cringing fear of mind-rape ethics interviews.

My biggest fear is getting declared. I was in for 8 years, off and on staff, then requested to leave. They wouldn't give me a sec-check, said no one was available to do it, but I was still expected to be on post month after month. So I finally just left....

This is one the modern mysteries:

What happened to Shelly Miscavige?

The latest story I read was that she messed up on executing some order from DM and hasn't been seen since. No exact date given. (I believe the data was from BlownForGood). My last knowledge of her was a despatch she sent to Gold almost two years ago.

I didn't even think about it before someone else mentioned it, but she hasn't been to the Base in two years (that I know of).

Anyone have any further data? Or ideas what publicly photographed PR events she might have attended with DM in the last two years? I didn't have any luck finding her in Tom Cruise's wedding photos, which were mostly closeups of the married couple. I didn't spend too much time going through them anyways.

Current status until otherwise confirmed: Removed.

Victor

P.S. Since this one should be a piece of cake to "D.A.", why don't you OSA people give me a hand, too?

Excerpted from the Addendum section of L. Ron Hubbard, Messiah or Madman?, 2nd and 3rd editions. This is the shortened version that appears in Brainwashing Manual Parallels in Scientology:

Scientology could be described as a "layers of the onion" operation.

The outermost layer of the "Scientological Onion" is not identifiable with Scientology at all, being composed of front groups that conceal their connection to -and control by - the Scientology organization. Front groups might be said to constitute Layer Zero: a place where the tentacles of Scientology can grope incognito.

The first layer of the Scientological Onion is meant to be very visible...

Layer One includes Scientology's pampered clique of celebrities, and various public relations ploys. It reverberates with noble sounding sentiments about creating a better world. Scientology seeks to equate itself, and its founder, with anything broadly viewed as desirable or good. A...

Late in 1982 I was declared by the Finance Police. One minute, in the Sea Org in Copenhagen, the next out on the street. No money and in a country where I do not speak the language at all well and where the only people I knew were Scientologists and SO members.

My wife and I had been married for four years at that point. She was still in, we had one son (Sean) who was (and still is) handicapped and my wife's son from her first marriage. Sean was 3, Chris was 7.

Lacking anything else to do, I made my way back home to England, got myself a job and wrote in requesting the comm ev. After two months - mid January 1983 I got a phone call from FOLO EU telling me that my wife was at Flag (on the RPF as it turns out) and I needed to come and pick up the children.

At that time, I was determined to get back to the SO, I wanted my comm ev because I felt that I had been unjustly treated. I couldn't very well unload my upset on my family because if I got them upset at Scientology and the Sea...

http://ocmb.xenu.net/ocmb/viewtopic.php?p=275870&highlight=#275870

MUSICAL CHAIRS - INT BASE STYLE

It was just another day in hell.

We had been “restricted” to the CMO Int/WDC conference room for 2 months now. The basic R-factor (Reality Factor) was that until all org boards and postings for the Int Base, FB and Class V orgs were done, we were not allowed to leave. We had to sleep under our desks each night and food was brought in. We were allowed to go down to the Gold Estates Building for showers if we went down real early. We were not allowed to be around while other base staff were around.
We were allowed to go to different areas of the Base, if it was regarding a specific COB order that had been issued. If we were to have been found to cross order COB in any way while we were in any areas, it was an immediate RPF assignment.

For the most part there was nothing we could do. Anyone who had an external facing post was not allowed to send any traffic out....

Reposted with permission.


Annie told me a lot of stories while we worked around the clock on the never ending Gold org board/postings when I was WDC Gold and she was CO CMO Gold in 1999/2000.

Just a few random things I can remember is that she and LRH lived at the Creston ranch in San Luis Obispo -- LRH lived there under some other identity and the locals were told that Annie was his grand daughter, living with him to take care of him. She said she used to do all his haircuts, type up all his dictations (Battlefield Earth and Mission Earth included), he C/Sed her every day on OT III when she was on that level. He took himself in session all the time. He told her wild stories about math and how to figure out certain things about the universe with math (I must admit I didn't retain anything she told me about that -- too complex for a 3am conversation at the time).

For a very long period, she drove him around the US in a huge RV - they were always on the...

Hi, my name is Maureen, also known as "Mo" (I'm not the dancer "Mo" who was a dancer/choreographer on the Apollo with LRH, I'm the "Mo" who was in the Camera Department at Gold for a long time between 1986 and 1995) I've posted some on another board, the XSO board before, and now I feel like posting on this board. I am fascinated by some of the stories I've read here, haven't finished reading them all yet, but thanks to everyone for sharing all this stuff And I love reading Little Bear Victor's posts and any Ex INT staff stories, especially.

Without further ado...some of my Scientology story (Jaws music....): I met a guy named Bill Ward way back in 1978 who told me he was a Scientologist. I was only 12 years old. He made friends with my Mom, he had met her at a psychiatric outpatient clinic in San Jose, and they fell in love and he asked her to marry him. He moved in with us in our small apartment in Santa Clara. He was a strange and fascinating...

Hey again.

I've posted a bit on here and on OCMB, left for a long while (about a year from here) and am back! I want to share with you more of my leaving story (this was years ago).

Please hit your refresh button before (and probably right after) reading, because I keep adding/editing, constantly.

I'm TIRED of holding this and other stories silent for ALL these years, this is downright insanity to FEAR them!! When they're supposed to be the 'answer' to all problems and the salvation of mankind? Huh?! NOT!!!!

I and Spouse was Div 6 staff at a Class V Org for a few years.

Spouse one day got sick of it, too.

And we 'went for a long walk' that night to talk.

I'd wanted to leave off and on for a good year, but kept being talked out of it.

Anways: the decision was made by both of us to leave.

And BAM, phone calls were made and an instant flight was arranged for THAT NIGHT by loving family (You know THAT cost a pretty penny!).

So the next step was...

In 1967 Hubbard had the Enchanter yacht up on a slipway in Jolly's boat yard in Gran Canaria.

One of the jobs being carried out was to replace the ballast on board with about 200 square lead ingots. The reason for this was that Hubbard wanted to sail up to the Med, go ashore on an island, break in to a museum and swap these ingots over for a stack sitting in the museum.

According to Hubbard, the museum ingots were gold bars encased in lead.

The Enchanter had been refloated and it was for Robin Lindsell (still a "lifer") and myself to ferry the ingots out to the yacht. That sounds simple in itself, but when you appreciate that the weight of the ingots on the deck of the small cutter we were using gave us about 2-3 inches of freeboard. We were REALLY down in the water. Thankfully the harbour was like a millpond as we stood stock-still, gingerly making our was over to the yacht.

Hubbard was standing there on the yacht's...

I have already posted an outline of my story (In and Out Part 1) and have now decided to expand it and fill in a lot more personal details, as a new thread.

Sydney 1967 - 68

I went to my first seminar at an outer org in Sydney, Australia, (I think it was John McMaster’s tour). My father had been in Scientology for a while and making a long trip into the city almost every night to study, much to my mother’s disapproval at the time. He was already working very hard during the days to support the family and spending nights away studing, and she had 6 children to care for. My younger brother had already gone with Dad, and I wanted to see what it was all about and not be left out!

It felt like coming home the moment I walked into that Congress, to be amongst so many smiling and vital people. There was a great excitement and feeling of common purpose and at the age of 14 I felt honoured to part of “saving the planet” after hearing Ron’s Journal 67 (RJ67). We had to...

Getting ready to depart Hull was fairly traumatic. None of us had any idea what it was going to be like. I had crossed the Irish Sea and sailed to Isle of Man in some rough crossings, but nothing like what we were preparing for. We were putting on some brave faces and whistling a lot.

I was assigned as an aft line handler with a tall laconic New Yorker (who wishes to remain anonymous). Our steel cable had broken, so we created a sort of “granny” knot and called it a Schultz knot.

Much to our horror the hired captain decided that would use our line to “spring” the bow out. We had seen what happens when a steel cable parts. The end flays open and can be very dangerous. Joan Robertson was on the fo’castle when a line split. It flew past her face, missing by inches. Had it hit her, it would have slashed her face into ribbons.

Anyway, our cable starts to tighten and vibrate under the strain. The two of us quickly ducked around the corner in case the line...

I have decided it is time to write up my story. I am still connected to Scientologists and I have had a load of fear in writing this and letting it be known, but it is time I did. My own safety isn't what is important. My family is what is important and those of my family who are still "in" or missing in action are what is important. Scientology is a scam - the Sea org is a scam. It needs to be brought out in the open what is does to people and what it does to families. It has all but destroyed mine. I want them back, but if they won't listen then so be it. I will tell what it has done. I will make it known for what it is. I am sick and tired of being afraid.
So here goes - part one - I have left out names in case it offends......


This story all starts in far away Australia, A land of great beauty and wonderful people. It is the story of a very ordinary, very usual, nothing special woman.

This woman was born in a small coastal town in the state of Victoria in the...

Part1 (How I justify becoming a Scientologist)

I first got into Scientology in 1975. The mission was a very busy and exciting place. it also seemed very efficient and organized. It was friendly and the staff were well dressed and looked well taken care of. That's how I remember it and it all gradually morphed into a very surreal and scarey nightmare.

At the mission there were four Class 8 auditors, and at least three Class 6 auditors. There were 4s all over the place, but not in the HGC. Where are the auditors today? Over the past 30 years the products of Scientology have changed into something that would not be recognizable if I hadn't been part of the gradual change. Even in the so called "upstat" Orgs and missions, there are no auditors anymore. Oh there are a few, but not nearly what there was 30 years ago .

See, it used to be that the only training we did was the training of auditors. Selling books was a way to create interest and get people in for training....

YAY!!! Finally!!

Pass the popcorn!

Hello, everybody. This is my first posting. For several years, I haven’t been very happy at all with the current state of the Church of Scientology. I finally took the plunge and decided to look at an online site or two. Just to check it out – to fully analyze everything. The first one I saw was Exscientologykids.com and one of the stories linked to here, ESMB. That was about a month ago. I was expecting to see a bunch of whining and criticism by a bunch of down-toned degraded beings. Ha! Talk about being totally wrong.

Everything I wanted to know about Scientology – but was afraid to find out.

One of the first stories I read was from Bea Kiddo. Wow. Such a sad tale but told by someone so terrific with so much compassion. It was quite the eye opener. No natter at all. By relaying her story, Bea indicated so much bypassed charge in so many different areas. Bea, your story is so interesting, sad, funny, nasty, frustrating, shocking and sweet.

And...