Hello, everybody. This is my first posting. For several years, I haven’t been very happy at all with the current state of the Church of Scientology. I finally took the plunge and decided to look at an online site or two. Just to check it out – to fully analyze everything. The first one I saw was Exscientologykids.com and one of the stories linked to here, ESMB. That was about a month ago. I was expecting to see a bunch of whining and criticism by a bunch of down-toned degraded beings. Ha! Talk about being totally wrong.
Everything I wanted to know about Scientology – but was afraid to find out.
One of the first stories I read was from Bea Kiddo. Wow. Such a sad tale but told by someone so terrific with so much compassion. It was quite the eye opener. No natter at all. By relaying her story, Bea indicated so much bypassed charge in so many different areas. Bea, your story is so interesting, sad, funny, nasty, frustrating, shocking and sweet.
The time in Corfu was the pivotal period in the evolvement of the SO, Scn in general and Hubbard's long term plans. It is, quite clearly, the most important stage in Scn history.
I have covered several aspects in other specific threads, but here I will pull them together.
It may take some time to write. I had got a lot written before the site evaporated earlier this week.
Please be patent.
Arnie Lerma's 8 Steps out of Scientology was a big help to me. It gave me a reference and explanation of the journey. Here is the original :
This is my own personal view of the stages of leaving Scientology. I realise it's an individual journey and some may not agree with me, but it's worth discussing. It's around point 6 that many seem to go back and forth a bit.
1) Noticing there is something wrong in some area.
2) Attempting to have the wrongness corrected locally.
(“It must be just that person’s Mus”.)
3) Attempting to have wrongness corrected by upper manangement.
("The local area is not following Source.”)
4) Personal Ethics cycles/sec checks as none of your reports were acted on and so any disagreement must be your fault. At this point you either step back in line or start seeking more information.
5) CRISIS POINT. The realisation that orgs are not run the way you...
Hello. This subject is one near and dear to me, because I left abruptly, without any preparation, and made a mess of all my family connections, work connections. Luckily I had some place to go.
1) DISCUSS IT WITH YOUR SPOUSE, if you have one. You may be surprised that they would understand. You have nothing to fear except the inevitable non-enturbulation order, and eventual declare, and perhaps a slewe of knowledge reports. Don't worry about these, they are inevitably going to occur anyway, or it's best to operate as though you understood this was likely. They will be used against you. If you fail to communicate with your spouse, your family, and your friends, you may regret it later, when you cannot communicate with them any more because they close their doors to you. The only time I wouldn't do this is if you are concerned for your safety or autonomy, in which case get out at your earliest convenience and alert your family outside, or if you don't have any, I think...
In my past I have been a story teller, it is what I like to do anyway, a raconteur I think it is called, but like the barbers cat it is all wind and piss,... verbal, and usually around a campfire in the bush or the outback, it is an art form handed down through a long line of semi-literates. I can not write to save my life, so I apologise before hand. Some of you may have already noticed this as I tried to post over the last months, trying to say something important and ending up tripping over the keyboard.
I do, however, have a story worth telling. It is the story of my involvement with the cult of scientology, it spans a quarter of a century where I got most of the way up the bridge and did scores of courses, trained as an auditor and did admin training as well. I hope I show how in this strange environment a man can lose sight of what matters to him, his goals, values and passions, himself and the reason he joined the church in the first place.
The majority of my adult...
Scientologists are convinced that they lived past lives and claim to even remember who they were and what they did, so what happens when people leave the Church (leave without joining freezone) do they continue to believe in past lives or do they believe they were brainwashed by the auditor?
I can understand how you would conclude that Scientology is false and that everything you were told was a lie, but how could you be so convinced that you lived before and even remember it, and then suddenly deny it?
OSA Operatives: How-to Guide
Several times over the last few months I’ve mentioned OSA operations as they are applied to Critics of scientology. Each time I mention it I usually get replies that add up to bluster about how inept OSA is, rejections of my comments as paranoia or variations on the “I ain’t afraid of no stinkin’ OSA” type of comment.
I know for a fact that the current OSA is nowhere near as good at what they do as the GO of yesteryear was. They just don’t have the same calibre of personnel or the freedom of action and independence that the GO had.
Regardless, I still consider it a mistake of magnitude to underestimate them.
Many are familiar with the few publicly exposed operations such as "Snow White" and "Operation Freakout" but I wonder how many know about the multitude of successful secret operations run by the GO/OSA?
Believe me, the average scn’ist or Ex wouldn’t know a fraction of it.
On the board here at ESMB there are a number of ex-OSA/ex-GO...
My name is John Cullison, and this is the introduction to My Story.
A warm spring afternoon became my first real interaction with Scientology. As I flowed down University Way (a.k.a. "The Ave") with (and sometimes in spite of) the rest of the copious foot traffic, I spotted a young woman standing very near where I had seen an unattended stack of Dianetics books a couple weeks earlier. Making eye contact is all it takes. Smiling, she approached me and asked me if she could ask me a few questions...
Already curious about Dianetics, and intending to buy a copy and read it, I agreed to undergo the ritual known as "body routing" and soon found myself heading through the dirty glass door to the stairs that led to the University Way Mission's quirky office space, sitting atop the contiguous retail space that lined The Ave. The space was pretty bland -- very few decorations of any sort, long office tables against walls, the occasional fake (or was it real?) plant, a...
This is the start of my story - it'll cover the thirty-odd (and they were thirty ODD) years of my involvment with the Co$. Hope you like the first installment.
I found the diary of Albert Speer in the local library and began to read it. He was Hitler’s architect and had a close personal relationship with one of the Twentieth Century’s greatest monsters. Speer wrote the diary during the twenty years he spent in prison for war crimes, written secretly on toilet paper and smuggled out of the jail he was kept in. It was the story of a man with dreams of turning his country into something beautiful by creating the world’s most spectacular urban landscapes full of gardens, lakes, forests, beautiful buildings and sculptures, long wide avenues and so on and who got subverted into being a part of something indescribably evil and then who began to see just how misled he’d been and how wrong his actions were. He wasn’t a bad man, but he had done some very bad things...
I attested to OTVII in October 2007, after 12 years on the level and 20+ years in Scientology.
At that stage I would never of guessed that less than a year later I would no longer even be a Scientologist !
Here is my experience on OTVII and my thoughts about it now :
My journey up the Bridge had been pretty straight forward ( except for an 18 month detour on staff in the class V org – which I can only describe as quite insane ). I felt I had had good wins on OTV - life was going very well. Hubby and I had our own business and we were making lots of money - we were also donating lots of money to various Org projects, we had our whole Bridge paid for and one complete L's package ( 12 ints ). We were OLs in the field and we were treated like we were important.
I got onto to OTVII relatively easily, but was rather disappointed to find that after finishing OTV on such a win, and re-doing the solo auditor course as the first part of OTVI, that when I finally hit the...
The night before I started to tell my story, I had a dream I was typing on a typewriter. As I came to consciousness, I felt almost an explosion in thought, about how wonderful it would be to type on an old-fashioned typewriter again. How when you type it--it's just out there--you have to commit to the words. No delete key--no cut and paste. It sounds sort of silly, but as I started to awaken, I realized that maybe it was time I should tell my story now. Just type it out--not self-edit, and just let the words fall on the page as if there was no taking it back. and---try not to take it back. If I think about it, I'll never speak. If I start deleting, and editing, the story will never come out. So, this may come out completely non-linear, with typos and errors. It's your choice whether to read it. I hope it's a help to someone.
Why tell my story? Never planned to. Afraid of OSA, ashamed of everything I've done within the cult. Disgusted with myself for not...
What is the one information that would have gotten you out sooner out of Scientology/out of the Church?
In other words: What was the missing information that kept you longer in than necessary?
I am talking here about concrete information (= something that you could hand out to somebody), not "experience on staff" or "experience with tech" or "well, the whole internet thing"...
I am not talking necessarily about what DID FINALLY GET you out. But what WOULD HAVE gotten you out if you WOULD HAVE KNOWN IT.
The Nature of Evil
While reading some of the threads here today, an idea came to mind. For me, it seems that true evil rears its ugly head when a person (or group) suddenly finds his or herself willing to harm another because of an IDEA.
LRH stated this in the Code of Honor as:
"Never fear to hurt another in a just cause."
Realize that "causes" are usually abstract IDEAS, and that while having "something" to do with reality, there is not usually a total exact direct correlation between the two.
For me, after careful examination and thought, it seems that the only time that I can justify harming another is in pure physical self-defense. For example, if a robber entered my home and was threatening to rape or kill one of my children, I would put a 38 slug in his forehead without a second thought. I would do it with no regrets, and I wouldn't worry myself much with ideas about what possible horrible life and abuse may have led this sorry person to commit such an act....
(Part 4 of his letter)
The great majority of Scientologists I know are good people who are genuinely interested in improving conditions on this planet and helping others. I have to believe that if they knew what I now know, they too would be horrified. But I know how easy it was for me to defend our organization and dismiss our critics, without ever truly looking at what was being said; I did it for thirty-five years. And so, after writing this letter, I am fully aware that some of my friends may choose to no longer associate with me, or in some cases work with me. I will always take their calls, as I always took yours. However, I have finally come to the conclusion that I can no longer be a part of this group. Frankly, I had to look no further than your refusal to denounce the church’s anti-gay stance, and the indefensible actions, and inactions, of those who condone this behavior within the organization. I am only ashamed that I...
May I ask,
What information has most commonly 'lifted the veil' and caused 'exes' to change their opinion about LRH?
Is it different for everyone? Or is there a common theme among 'exes' who have rejected LRH's views and tech? Was it one 'keystone' fact about Hubbard or some accumulation of false information?
I'm curious to learn what 'lifted the veil'!
I haven't ever posted the truth about what ruined me as a Staff member. The incident of long duration that changed my view of what is important. The exact time place form and event that broke my spirit. The thing I never got over. The defining moment that justified me eventually becoming an ExScientologist.
I call it:
"GOOD TWIN'S WALL OF FIRE"
It has nothing (almost nothing) to do with OT3. I'll try to tell you everything I can remember and I'll try to be as truthfull as possible. I feel the need to tell it before it fades any more than it already has. I have good reason to forget this and yet I really need this memory as it sums up everything that is wrong with Scientology.
If there is any truth to implant tech this is full of it. I was told not to tell so many things and told what to say and do for quite a period of time that it makes the whole thing beyond surreal. I can't tell it without using real names places and times. I know OSA might be upset by...
I was going through a closet today and found a folder with various Scientology issues in it. I briefly scanned through it. Doing so made me realize, once again, just how severe the Scientology indoctrination is. There is an underlying viewpoint instilled in members that slants their reality, conditions their reasoning ability, and allows them to commit harm to others. What is this viewpoint?
It is the viewpoint that, "we are the last free beings, we are the ONLY group able to salvage people, we are the ONLY group with a workable tech able to solve the problems of society, and we are on a live-or-die-in-the-attempt mission to bring this wonderful LRH tech to every man, woman and child on planet Earth".
Yes, it is an insane view. I have found that any group that considers itself SUPERIOR to everybody else, philosophically, ideologically or religiously, also practices the maxim: The ends justify the means. In other words, these sort of people will stoop to behavior few...
BIRTH OF THE SEA ORG – THE DIE IS CAST
By Joe van Staden who served as captain of the Athena and Apollo at various times.
Undoubtedly the story of how it all began has been told more than once – each time from a different perspective, obviously. In the following account of my personal involvement in the birth of the SO I hope to provide a perspective which may shed some light on later developments within and around that organization.
My first contact with Scientology was in Johannesburg (1960). There I met L Ron Hubbard for the first time when he came out to South Africa to run the first South African ACC. Toward the end of 1962 I went over to St Hill UK to do my SHSBC. In 1965 I did my class 7 course after which my wife Jill and I joined staff at St Hill. At some point LRH mysteriously disappeared from St Hill. As we found out later he had left for Las Palmas.
Most people on staff and on course at St Hill in the early and...
The following personal counseling testimony on the effects and resolution of Post Traumatic Stress Disorder was sent to me by an exScn. Due to the intimate nature of the sessions, this person wishes to remain completely anonymous on the forum.
I request that discussion of this be limited to the technical aspects or to Scn, rather than to the person, as this is a vulnerable and personal area for this individual.
"I have experience of what deep trauma does and the chaotic overload it creates (PTSD).
I was not diagnosed with PTSD (fear of medical/mental health establishment prevented me from seeking help when it hit me). I have since read up on PTSD and recognised what happened to me. My unceremoniously dumping Hubbard’s ideas out of my life and another major life event hit me a few months apart & threw me into a traumatised state.
I would have these pure chaotic episodes in my brain. I could feel them. Hard to describe...