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Hello everyone. Here for my very first visit.

Discussion in 'New Member Introductions' started by disilluzioned, Aug 23, 2018.

  1. disilluzioned

    disilluzioned Knock-em Down

    Hello everyone. Here for my very first visit.
    I first heard about Scn in 1972 while on a flight back to New York, from the passenger sitting next to me. It sounded very interesting. Then I was walking in Central Park, NY and there was a guy talking about it.
    I figured maybe I ought to go check this out. I went to some Hotel on 33rd Street (I think that's where it was- it's been quite a long time ago) and bought my very first book "A New Slant on Life" journey started there and ended up years later with me being in the RPF in Los Angeles. What transpired during the years in between was quite an experience needless to say and when I escaped one night, running like hell in the pouring rain and looking over my shoulder to see if I was being pursued, my feelings were very mixed...mostly feeling disillusioned (hence my name but I had to spell it with a "z" because somebody else here is already using it) and disbelief that here I was now "homeless" in the dark in the rain, in the street.
    I was penniless. I had no ID. I was starving. I never thought I'd do it, but I went through a trash can and found some discarded French fries and a partly eaten cheeseburger from a McDonalds, but compared to some of the crap I had in the RPF...this was a gourmet meal. I asked a stranger for a quarter to make a phone call to my dad. His artic response was "Well you made your choices and look where you ended up, so work it out and don't call me again. Wow! Just the compassion I needed at that moment (not)
    So my family wanted NOTHING to do with me, great! I borrowed another quarter and a cigarette and I called an ex-girlfriend who had also been in SCN but left. Well SHE understood my situation and came and picked me up. Man if it weren't for her I don't know what I would have done. She let me crash on her couch and gave me some clean clothes that some former boyfriend left behind. They were somewhat big because I had lost so much weight.
    Well it's been a few years now and I work in a restaurant as a short order cook - hey it's a job, I get paid, and can eat all I want for free. This guy who knew a guy got me a fake ID.
    I even changed my name for fear of "them" finding me.
    So here I am now. Before I wrote this I zipped through many of the threads. A lot of very interesting, educational, revealing as well as some hot topics, touchy topics and even some scary stuff.
    I don't want to write too much for now and I don't know what kind of reception I'm going to get here.
  2. disilluzioned

    disilluzioned Knock-em Down

    How can I change my avatar. I don't want to be Xenu.
    never mind I figured it out went I went to my profile page.
    Last edited: Aug 23, 2018
    Type4_PTS, Victoria and Leland like this.
  3. Are you a US citizen? Do you have access to your birth certificate or other identity documents that will help you "exist" in today's society? Since government databases seem to be tied together, fake IDs really should be avoided these days.

    What is your education level? Have you thought about getting more schooling to be more competitive in today's job market?

    We all support you and want you to have the most fulfilling post-Scientology life you can possibly have.

    We welcome and encourage you. We are just names on a screen, but we just might have advice and suggestions you might find useful.

    You must still work hard to make your life what you want it to be, in the area where you live.

    Start by asking yourself some basic questions. Now that your life belongs to YOU and not the cult, what do you want out of life? What do you enjoy doing? Where can you find good friends to share the good times with? What kind of job would you like to have?
    dchoiceisalwaysrs likes this.
  4. pineapple

    pineapple Silver Meritorious Patron

    Welcome to the board. How long were you in scn? How long since you left?
  5. Leland

    Leland Crusader

    Hi, Welcome to ESMB!

    I got into the Cult in 1972 also....

    Unfortunately, it took me until 2000 to get out.

    If you need anything...let us know.
  6. strativarius

    strativarius Inveterate gnashnab & snoutband

    Unless they are trying to convince us that scientology is the greatest thing since sliced bread, newcomers here normally get a warm reception, and I certainly extend a warm welcome to you. Getting back on your feet after years in the cult can be difficult, but you seem to have pulled it off alright, so, once again, welcome to esmb, and I hope you enjoy your time here.
    lotus likes this.
  7. guanoloco

    guanoloco As-Wased

    Hi, you'll be welcomed here np
  8. Enthetan

    Enthetan Master of Disaster

    Welcome aboard!
  9. I told you I was trouble

    I told you I was trouble Suspended animation

    lotus and strativarius like this.
  10. DagwoodGum

    DagwoodGum Squirreling Dervish

    "I like pigs. Cats look down on you; dogs look up to you; but pigs treat you like an equal." From your signature, quoting Winston Churchill

    Because I surmise, pigs are impressed with how we roll in our own shit with the best of them! The cats know they're above our shit and the dogs are just tracking it so it doesn't plop down upon them and land in their Kibble. Which gives us a lot to learn from their infinite wisdom.

    Dis., welcome to the site! I got in when you did as I spent the summer of '72 after my Jr. year of H.S. on staff as a volunteer where I was allowed to listen to all of Hubbard's speeches in the course-room in lieu of any real pay.
    Last edited: Aug 24, 2018
    phenomanon and Operating DB like this.
  11. disilluzioned

    disilluzioned Knock-em Down

  12. disilluzioned

    disilluzioned Knock-em Down

    Enthetan likes this.
  13. disilluzioned

    disilluzioned Knock-em Down

    Thank you, sir. Yeah, I'm doing pretty much okay now. I look at it this way: we all do whatever we do at the time we do it and whether it's good or bad we just move on. Can't change the past. Can only do my best in the present and try to make a somewhat decent future for my remaining days.
    Leland, strativarius and Enthetan like this.
  14. disilluzioned

    disilluzioned Knock-em Down

    You think you're getting yourself into something good where you will do good for mankind and perhaps even for yourself and so like many others and I guess even some of swim with the rest of the school of fish until some shark comes along...well you know what happens. Then you're trapped in the RPF. I was very lucky one rainy night...some security guard (who must have really gotten into trouble afterwards) left a door unlocked...and I fucking (can you curse here? sorry) bolted and never ran so fast in my life outta there. It's really a shame how it all turned out for me and many others. I have watched some of Leah Remini's tv broadcasts about other's horrific experiences.
    Operating DB and Type4_PTS like this.
  15. strativarius

    strativarius Inveterate gnashnab & snoutband

    Well, I 'graduated' from the RPF, and when I was fully 'rehabilitated' I said 'fuck you' (yes, you can swear here, I know I do) and split.
  16. lotus

    lotus stubborn rebel sheep!

    Hi disilluzioned,

    A warm welcome to you on ESMB!
    Congratulations for you made it out of the SO and did a new good start with your life, even though it has been very tough at first.

    Keep on going, enjoy life since you deserve to be happy and feel secure. The best is still to come.

    as a side note, there are a lot ox Ex Seao org member here who have been in for decades. (LA, Flag, St-Hill, ANZO..)
    Those people are generous in sharing stories , help, listening to each other , which often help to to heal, a little bit a the time, what still hides in our inner shadow and makes room for joy, faith and laughters.

    Best to you

    Lotus :)

    (I've been a brief time in the Sea ORg, and as you, decided to escape. I planned my escape weeks prior I left. The day I left i made a huge mistake and , decades after I remember each minute of this day since I was totally freaked out , especially because of the blow drill on me and when they found me and try to handle me. Thanks to a taxi driver who warned me and provided good advice. But hey...we made it as many other did. :cool:)
    Last edited: Aug 24, 2018
    Type4_PTS likes this.
  17. screamer2

    screamer2 Idiot Bastardson

    It makes my heart sing to hear of yet another person leaving the cult.

    Welcome to ESMB.​
    Operating DB likes this.
  18. DagwoodGum

    DagwoodGum Squirreling Dervish

    Last edited: Aug 24, 2018
  19. strativarius

    strativarius Inveterate gnashnab & snoutband

    Try using the 'Use BB Code Editor'. Top right-hand corner of the whitespace.
  20. DagwoodGum

    DagwoodGum Squirreling Dervish

    I like reading this because it just has me so frustrated to read stories where people stayed in irregardless of personally experiencing the horrors of the Scientology Taliban and their prison camp as they call the RPF.
    You were clear minded after suffering that horrendous indignation and all the more determined to be done with it.
    Whereas the mindset they were attempting to cultivate was total capitulation to their Taliban grasp on your mind and soul.
    Well done Strati, you beat em and they couldn't beat you down or keep you beaten down, but then you don't seem like the kind of guy where anyone could for long.
    Perhaps a different generation where people still had the post WWII feistyness that beat the original Nazi's and these were just a second gen. chincy ass version of the same shit that you'd seen all before.
    Last edited: Aug 25, 2018
    tesseract and lotus like this.