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Hello to all of you who care

Discussion in 'New Member Introductions' started by exsofromeu, Feb 10, 2011.

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  1. exsofromeu

    exsofromeu Patron

    This is my introduction. Right after I registerered, I posted a few messages today and I had three positive replies that encouraged me to post this introduction.

    I spent around 15 years of my life in Scientology, most of that time in the Sea Org. In the late 90's I left the Sea Org and Scientology forever. First, I wasn't quite sure about leaving Scientology for good. It was just the Sea Org and its practices that I did not agree with anymore. Having been for so many years inside, without any connection with the real world, I could not imagine my life without Scientology. Luckily, my mother was still alive and I went to live with her, during which time I began to reconnect with the real world in a rather gradual way. However, for the first 6-7 months I did no dare to look for anything on the Internet regarding Scn. I was afraid that I was going to find sites that were critical about Scn and that was something my mind was not quite ready to take yet. But, one day I said to myself "I am a free person, I do have a free mind and there should be nothing that inhibits that freedom of mind, at least NOT MYSELF". So, I began my exploration of Scientology through the Internet. I spent many hours a day for weeks and my eyes were opening and opening... and opening. The first thing that really got to me was when I found stories, pictures, a few videos... of people that I had wondered about for years while I was in the Sea Org, because they had dissappeared one day and never saw them again. A few months later, I found Operation Clambake and that was exactly what I needed to definitely open my eyes forever and shake whatever Scn sediments were still remaining in my head. It's been a long time since that.

    It took me close to a year to leave, from the day I said I wanted to leave. It was harsh, it was humiliating, it was discouraging at times, but I knew I WAS NOT GOING TO BE DISCOURAGED. They tried many things with me to prevent me from leaving but I would end up telling the person in question "I know what you are doing, don't you realise that I was trained to do that too? so, please, don't waste your time with me". That alone would work for me and would make stronger and stronger as the days went by (and a year is a long time when you want it to elapse quickly but you are counting the hours day by day). I used to bring into my mind stories that I remembered from novels or movies that somehow resembled my situation (like the Count of Montechrist, or the Shawshank Redemption), and that made me stronger inside.

    Had I known what I would have to go through before being let out and I would have blown (leave without permission) forever.

    One day, I finally left. When I returned home (a few thousand miles away), one of the first things I did was to make a list of all the felow Sea Org members with whom I had spent more than a decade of my life so that I would never forget them. I came up with a pretty long list. Most of them were people I really appreciated (a few of them were really evil, wicked people and those are the ones that tend to get in higher positions within the Sea Org - you have to be rather evil or completely brainwashed, otherwise you would not be able to subjet people to such a hardships).

    Anyway, I have the feeling that I am making this too long. I could be writing for hours, but I could be boring people. Besides, I am starting to feel that too many things come into my mind and I cannot describe them as quickly as a write, thus they may come up in a rather chaotic way.

    I was in the Sea Org in Los Angeles and also on the Freewinds. I would like to know the whereabouts (at least get to know if they are out and well) of people who were on the Freewinds in the nineties). I would know most of them, whereas it would be difficult for me to remember all the people from Los Angeles.
     
  2. EP - Ethics Particle

    EP - Ethics Particle Gold Meritorious Patron

    Welcome!

    :wave::welcome: Your participation and input is valuable beyond words - both to others and yourself! :yes::thumbsup:

    EP
     
  3. Jachs

    Jachs Gold Meritorious Patron

    Cant help you but i like your intro, and wishing you well.

    Welcome.:D
     
  4. Axiom142

    Axiom142 Gold Meritorious Patron

    Welcome exsofromeu!

    :welcome:

    I hope you enjoy ESMB as much as I have over the past few years.

    Did you know a Julie Powiesnik (not sure of exact spelling) when you were on the Freewinds?

    I knew Julie from Brighton mission back in 1987. She was a medical doctor and went over to join the crew of the Freewinds as the MLO, or similar post.

    I never heard any more from her after that and was wondering if you had any news. She was a very nice person, I hope that she managed to get out, sooner rather than later.

    There was another person I knew, Caroline Harris, also from Brighton. She left the Freewinds around the end of the nineties and became public. Unfortunately she joined the SO again, at St Hill in the early noughties. Did you know her?

    I look forward to hearing some of your stories, especially about what life was like on the high seas aboard the Failwinds.

    Axiom142
     
  5. Free to shine

    Free to shine Shiny & Free

    Don't worry about being considered boring - ain't gonna happen! :D+

    That first 'leaving' time of daring to go on the net and read is something we all experience to some degree or other and I am sure there are many people out there now reading your intro and thinking "that's how I felt!".

    So keep on writing mate, it is SO healing.

    :)
     
  6. AnonyMary

    AnonyMary Formerly Fooled - Finally Free

    :omg:! Please keep posting :yes:

    This is such an informative and heartfelt post and so valuable! I know it's hard but it is really good for the soul, believe me. As well, if you keep the thread going, more people will see is as the days go by and more will respond. You may well find some old friends. It happens often!

    I was not in LA or on the freewinds in the 90s but many people here were.

    Doug Parent aka RipTide played bass on the Freewinds. You may want to contact him as well
    http://www.forum.exscn.net/member.php?u=3638

    An easy way to search for information about friends who may have posted here or from others posting about them is to do a google.com search like this

    site:exscn.net "First Lastname"

    Just fill in the name you are looking for

    As well if you go to alt.religion.scientology you can searchj there, using quote marks on the name
    http://groups.google.com/group/alt.religion.scientology/topics

    Please keep posting.

    Best wishes & ((HUGGS))

    Mary
     
  7. Freeminds

    Freeminds Bitter defrocked apostate

    Welcome to ESMB, and a belated welcome back to the real world. Your intro wasn't too long, by any means. Don't worry about it: you can speak your mind, here.
     
  8. Mark A. Baker

    Mark A. Baker Sponsor

    Welcome, E. We're a mixed bunch, but we're always glad to hear from others who have left the church and are facing up to being 'out'.


    Mark A. Baker
     
  9. exsofromeu

    exsofromeu Patron

    Hello,

    Yes, I knew Julie Powiesnik. She was the medical doctor onboard and she married the Captain, Mike Napier, sometime in the middle nineties. However, a couple of years later she was assigned to the RPF (I suppose you know what that is) and I don't know how long she spent on the RPF because she was still in it when I left.

    I felt pity a times, seeing such a nice woman wearing dark blue dirty clothes every day, not being able to talk to anybody, repudiated by her husband (the Captain) and so on. That is what happens to anybody in the RPF. For her it was probably harder because she was "doing" the RPF onboard the ship, which was unusual. That means that she was around people who used to be her shipmates, friends, patients, etc. but now she was a "scumbag" (a term that is used very often in the Sea Org to refer to somebody in the RPF). It makes feel really sad when I remember these stories, but they are very common within the Sea Org.

    I don't know what happened to her. I wish she got out but it is hard to tell.

    With regards to Caroline Harris, was she a blond British girl that liked to sing?
     
  10. exsofromeu

    exsofromeu Patron

    Thank you very much Mary, for your warm reply and for your links. I certainly will use them!
     
  11. Lurker5

    Lurker5 Gold Meritorious Patron

    Not boring !

    Your story is NOT boring - at all. :drama: I found that VERY interesting. We WANT to hear it. And Welcome, exsofromeu ! :welcome: :welcome2:

    Please, do keep sharing. :wave:
     
  12. Axiom142

    Axiom142 Gold Meritorious Patron

    Thanks exsofromeu for the info.

    But I feel sick now. Sick and angry. Julie was, is such a lovely person it really upsets me that she was humiliated in this way. I just hope that she managed to get out since then

    Caroline is British, long light brown hair. Can’t remember if she sang much though. Possibly.

    Please tell us some stories from the ship.

    Axiom142
     
  13. exsofromeu

    exsofromeu Patron


    Hello Axiom142,

    Yes, I knew Julie Powiesnik. She was the medical doctor onboard and she married the Captain, Mike Napier, sometime in the middle nineties. However, a couple of years later she was assigned to the RPF (I suppose you know what that is) and I don't know how long she spent on the RPF because she was still in it when I left.

    I felt pity a times, seeing such a nice woman wearing dark blue dirty clothes every day, not being able to talk to anybody, repudiated by her husband (the Captain) and so on. That is what happens to anybody in the RPF. For her it was probably harder because she was "doing" the RPF onboard the ship, which was unusual. That means that she was around people who used to be her shipmates, friends, patients, etc. but now she was a "scumbag" (a term that is used very often in the Sea Org to refer to somebody in the RPF). It makes feel really sad when I remember these stories, but they are very common within the Sea Org.

    I don't know what happened to her. I wish she got out but it is hard to tell.

    With regards to Caroline Harris, was she a blond British girl that liked singing? (if she is who I am thinking, she was the Freewinds band singer for a couple of years, then she was promoted to an executive post, which se was holding when I left.
     
  14. Ulf K. Maier

    Ulf K. Maier Patron Meritorious

    Welcome!

    :welcome2:

    Thanks for telling your story... :)
     
  15. exsofromeu

    exsofromeu Patron

    Thank you.

    I like your nickname. I wish I had the wits of Eddie Murphie or any of those gifted comedians to make jokes and humorous stories about "Ethics" in Scientology and the Sea Org. It has caused so much pain and humiliation to human beings that the only way to deal with or talk about it would be with some sense of humor.
     
  16. TG1

    TG1 Angelic Poster

    exsofromeu, welcome!

    I was never on staff, so I don't know your mates. But I do hope, like you, that they are out and safe -- or, if they're not, they will be soon.

    TG1
     
  17. exsofromeu

    exsofromeu Patron

    In understand you completely. I was also feeling sick and angry as I was writing, because you brough her back to my memory.

    And yes, Caroline Harris is the same person. Big eyes, sort-of sexy woman.

    I could probably tell hundreds of stories, but I don't where to start. I am open to leads...
     
  18. afaceinthecrowd

    afaceinthecrowd Gold Meritorious Patron

    Welcome exsofromeu! Glad you are here with all of US.:yes:

    Don't worry about long posts...I do them all the time and some folks even read them once in awhile.

    Writing your story is part of your journey and reading your story is part of our journey.

    I was on the Apollo but was gone from the SO and Scn before the Freewinds.

    I’m interested to hear what you have to say re: your life and times on the Freewinds.

    Let ‘er buck!

    Face:)
     
  19. JackReno4

    JackReno4 Patron

    And you create your own tomorrows

    So never regret the past, you are alive today. I was in the Sea Organization for ten years but decades before you and on different ships. I know something of which you're posting.

    It was never about me, I didn't care what happened and they beached me. It was my friends that were torn away. That hurt and it took years to find new friends and the process of doing that was a cultural shock to me. I was lucky enough to have money so I lived in Boa Vista, Brazil.

    During my expulsion I began to write stories and plays. After my expulsion was canceled I wrote a screenplay based on LRH's novel "Revolt in the Stars"; I asked for permission and I have not heard from anybody since. I have not been sleeping and my new book will be ready soon. If there are any documentary filmmakers reading this, heads up! You are going to see something interesting happen when this book hits the fan.
     
  20. Voltaire's Child

    Voltaire's Child Fool on the Hill

    Well, certainly I'm not bored. Welcome!