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SCIENTOLOGY BOOK OF GENESIS: "Thus commandeth Ron the Commodore to Martin "Noah" Rathbun to construct a sea worthy vessel to save himself, his family, and the world's Scientologists from a worldwide deluge. For the Commodore postulated a great flood to destroy the earth because of man's evil out ethics and tech corruption. And thus Martin didst build for his Lord an Ideal Ark..."
Thus it was that Minister-Marty-Messenger-Of-Ron traveled the world in search of representatives from each species of Scientologist to join him at Sea, that they be salvaged from the the terrible technical tsunami begat by the Devil, David Miscavige.
And come they did, like pilgrims journeying to Mecca. The Believer, the Standard Tech Auditor, the Loyal Officer, the On Policy Businessman, The Clear Housewife, the former Sea Org Member and many others. And oh yes, the OT VIII. Remember that last one....
Marty was greatly humbled and overjoyed that *he* was the chosen one to be entrusted to Captain this sacred vessel that would save mankind.
So, as the tides of out tech and financial corruption began to swell across the world, the Old Scientologists began to drown in misery and debt, it was Marty that opened the only doors to salvation aboard his trusty Ark.
Thus, Marty the sailor, his precious passengers safely and thankfully aboard, set sail on the high seas of spiritual righteousness.
But, then the thunderous storms began as the deluge was loosed upon the world. And giant waves began to toss & crash the Ark about as Captain Marty desperately tried to keep the boat afloat.
Alas, it came to be that great unbearable pressure was visited upon Marty and his boat--and both began to visibly crack and spring holy leaks....
As his boat began to sink, Marty didth begin to spout natter and gibberish and in his dementia, he revealeth the sacred End Phenomena of the Real OT VIII........
Thus it was that Minister-Marty-Messenger-Of-Ron traveled the world in search of representatives from each species of Scientologist to join him at Sea, that they be salvaged from the the terrible technical tsunami begat by the Devil, David Miscavige.
And come they did, like pilgrims journeying to Mecca. The Believer, the Standard Tech Auditor, the Loyal Officer, the On Policy Businessman, The Clear Housewife, the former Sea Org Member and many others. And oh yes, the OT VIII. Remember that last one....
Marty was greatly humbled and overjoyed that *he* was the chosen one to be entrusted to Captain this sacred vessel that would save mankind.
So, as the tides of out tech and financial corruption began to swell across the world, the Old Scientologists began to drown in misery and debt, it was Marty that opened the only doors to salvation aboard his trusty Ark.
Thus, Marty the sailor, his precious passengers safely and thankfully aboard, set sail on the high seas of spiritual righteousness.
But, then the thunderous storms began as the deluge was loosed upon the world. And giant waves began to toss & crash the Ark about as Captain Marty desperately tried to keep the boat afloat.
Alas, it came to be that great unbearable pressure was visited upon Marty and his boat--and both began to visibly crack and spring holy leaks....
As his boat began to sink, Marty didth begin to spout natter and gibberish and in his dementia, he revealeth the sacred End Phenomena of the Real OT VIII........
-------to be continued------
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