ESMB has entered archive mode. All posts and threads that were available to the general public are still readable. The board is still searchable. 

Thank you all for your participation and readership over the last 12 years.

If you want to join in the conversation, please join the new ESMB Redux at www.exscn2.net.



Memoir of betrayal from an anon.

Discussion in 'Stories From Inside Scientology' started by nobody, May 16, 2010.

Tags:
  1. nobody

    nobody Patron

    I would like to apologize in advance for the terrible formatting and grammar. Despite all the unattractiveness of the following text. This story deserves to be told. If only as a warning or if only for amusement. I might reveal side notes and commentary if anyone is interested...

    A memoir of betrayal.

    It was early 2008 and I had watched a video on youtube that was a declaration of war on the church of

    scientology for their attempt at censoring a tom cruise video that leaked out into the internet. I had never

    never heard of the group Anonymous before watching the video but, i decided that I will take part in this

    obscure campaign. I asserted myself into the group and gave myself a pseudonym "Frosty Fawks".

    The following took place from March to April of 2009.

    I met a girl by the name of Rebecca she had inducted herself into the ranks of anonymous,

    She had a previously lost a friend to the cult of scientology and sought to ally herself with the protest

    movement started by the cyber "hacktivist" group that took aim against the cult in late January, of 2008

    we met on march 15th otherwise known as the Ides of march. It was a protest that was divided into two separate

    groups. she was partaking in the march on the Las Vegas strip. I met her with a mask upon my face she was also

    in disguise a black wig with sunglasses. All protesters were disguised. I approached her with confidence and a

    great interest in protesting the cult. she showed intense disgust in the criminal organization and their actions.

    I began communicating with her and expressing sympathy and interest in her. Her personality was a

    conceited one, she admitted to me on numerous ocassions that she likes to use people by means of deception and

    false projections. She showed little to no signs of a morality. Her conscience was a minimal at best.

    She was notably short tempered and had height issues. I often observed and interacted with her using my

    modified version of my alter ego to gain her trust. She was also very trusting which I thought was a weakness in

    this manner of affairs. As we were supposed to keep our identities concealed from each other for our own

    personal safety. She even invited me into her house within a month of knowing her.


    Her boyfriend at the time

    was a questionable character, his mannerisms were strange and he later revealed to her that he was actually a

    plant of the cult. I did not confirm this myself but, I took advantage of the opportunity to fill in his role so I

    could gain a more precise and intimate understanding of her. The fact that at least three other males were

    competing for her affection, made it even more of a challenge to court her. It was also a personal side

    objective to gain short-term mate status with her. My emotional involvement was exaggerated to her and partly

    concealed from the group until a later date. It was my intention to keep their interference to a minimal.

    That objective was accomplished with unexpected ease.

    In the months to come she would subject me to

    excessive stress and pushed the limits of all my personas. Her mental state began to alter with an opinion of

    cult founder L.Ron Hubbard. Slowly her scorn of Scientology began to change into praise. It was over the

    course of a month she slowly began to change her entire opinion and with it most of her personality.

    It began with a trip to a library that contained Dianetics and other related literature. We sat quietly and she

    expressed fear and anxiety over random passages from the books. I could not comprehend why she was so

    shocked and disturbed by simple words in a book. A page of one of the books had a repetitively used the word

    "survive" in bold. This frightened her and she would not explain why. Soon after She told that she has had

    enough research for one day and I agreed. She told me to examine her eyes and see if her retinas had dialaed.

    She told me that it was an indicator of brainwashing. She occasionally expressed concerns of her personality

    changing. After suggesting that reading too much of it has a hypnotic effect she later told told me that she

    spent ten hours reading dianetics and highlighting all the faults and hypocrisy contained in dianetics. This

    stirred my curiosity in her. It was becomming evident that she was becoming the enemy. Over instant

    messengers and outings she would claim to be abused by her newly made scientology friends. She would alter

    from being in intense fear to being absolutely calm and happy. When I confronted her about her conflicting

    statements she would deny them as if she had no recollection of any previous conversations.

    It would stir a defensive attitude in, her she even went as far as to hit me in the face if I pursued in

    questioning her. I grew to dispise her but, I was still curious and eager to be in a relationship. I had to endure.

    Her fears were magnified, her dislikes and likes were switched. She even developed a sense of questionable

    morality. She exhibited fear over things that she once claimed to enjoy, namely thunderstorms. She was

    originally an adamantly independent person but, with her increasing fascination with scientology she

    degenerated into a person with childlike dependency and overly emotional tones resembling that of Bi-polar

    disorder. She also explained things with an irrational elaboration of known sucides committed from

    Scientology members and then claim that the current leader of Scientology is to blame and that the orginal

    leader was far cry from the previous leader. She would exhibit a serve victim complex when anyone attempted to

    debate with her on her perceptions. This was noted by various critics and myself to be typical Scientologist

    reactions to any arguments made against their church. She had made a number of friends over the internet

    with various people from both sides of the conflict. Though most of them were on the side of Anonymous she

    began to develop close ties with friends from the cult. The friends she had made in with Anonymous had

    been friends with her longer she slowly began to express pro scientology opions with them and they began to

    state that she had become brainwashed, It would seem evident that any voicing of dissent towards a conditioned

    follower of the cult would be trained to invert their arguments as invalid and always taking it personally

    as it would in turn intensify her faith into the group. She made me promise not to tell anyone of her

    involvement with scientology. It was easy for me to keep this promise because I did not want them to know or

    intervene, though I had strong suspicions that some members of anonymous were already aware.

    Her blinking became reduced, she had become increasingly paranoid over modern medicine and the topic of

    psychology. Her side switching behavior became less and less even though she participated in the protests

    against her new found faith in the church she oringally sought to destroy. Her behavior took another change

    when she she claimed to be beaten inside of the church for disobeying orders to stay out of a room. She was

    locked in a room and hit with stick on her right side. The man hitting her was her spiritual adviser or "auditor"

    As he beat her, he ordered her to leave the room with a smile. Slowly it was programmed into her that if ever

    she got physically hurt; her response would be to laugh or smile. the reason behind is uncertain to me.

    She revealed this to me and my response was forgiving and of understanding. These were not my true feelings

    however, I felt a sense of disgust but, I concealed my true thoughts in order to maintain my status with her.

    Soon after this incident was brought to my attention she began to take interest in Freezone Scientology which

    she claimed was the true Scientology as it was more comtemporary and was preserved. With this revelation she

    attempted to distance herself from the mainstream chruch of Scientology, This abandonment would not go

    unnoticed by the cult. She would claim that she was being stalked by a legitgation task force assembled from the

    cult known as OSA (Office of Special Affairs) She would call me at late hours and tell me that she was fearing

    for her life from these people. Her claims were dire but, they were also equally outlandish and frequent.

    My concerns for her were unclear. I anticipated her abduction. These claims ceased within three days time.


    She talked me into making a pro free zone video, I agreed to help her with it to strengthen our bond, The video

    was poor and her explanations of free zone could not be taken seriously, I regretted doing that,

    The mentioning of fear abruptly ended. She wanted it to seem like she never was in any danger. She began to

    make claims that any form of

    Scientology was dangerous and that she would leave it out of her life. It seemed like she had learned her

    lesson. Within a weeks time I found that she had posted a quote from L.Ron Hubbard about love. This made for

    an immediate revial of her obsession with scientology. It was around this time that Rebecca decided to become an

    auditor for freezone scientology. It was conceivable that her friends from Freezone Scientology were

    actually agents of the church of Scientology. My dissent and concerns remained muted. It was at this time the

    group partly knew what of her interest in Scientology. I attempted to remain silent and suppress my knowledge

    from them. I didn't want to take sides. But, i knew my loyality was with anonymous. It was never my intention to

    betray or abandon anyone but, I knew what I had to do. I knew who was right but, for my own morbid curiosity,

    I wanted to witness the completion of her brainwashing. It was painfully clear that she was beyond all help.

    I chose not to interfere with her for my own safety, I was convinced that she deserved to be in this trap.



    We used to joke about Hubbard's exterestrial beings such as the "thetan" and the Marcab Confederacy, she

    abruptly took these beings seriously without any recollection of her previously mocking them. This made it

    extremely difficult for me to remain passive and I tried not to express any dissent in front of her. Any time I was

    with her I kept falsifying what I knew to be true, this ruse would later fall apart.

    For a short time I had been telling myself that she was merely going through a phase and that this was obsession

    with the enemy would soon cease but, an incident that would've brought clarity to her perception but, failed to

    do so, it was then apparent to me that she was fully immersed in the belief of the cult. She and I were playing a

    game of air hockey and she somehow dislocated her shoulder. After a few hours of her attempting to

    dianetically heal herself by commanding her shoulder to delete the pain she was experiencing she finally

    decided to seek medical attention with me providing transportation to the hospital. While being hospitized she

    expressed fears over medical aide from non scientologist personnel and I convinced her that real

    professionals will help and that I will be watching over her. Slowly she accepted their help and even received a

    a morphine injection which was strictly against the scientologist principles. We recruited the help of a member

    of anonymous to take care of her at her trailer home. This was done because her mother was away on business,

    she was housed at this women's house for four days. Her mother was made aware of this and given contact

    information to reach rebecca for any concerns. Not once did the mother call, I was made aware that in her four

    day stay she spent the whole time on the internet aruging for lengthy amounts of time with various people on

    the topic of scientology. This disturbed the temporary care giver and it was at this point that her interest and

    affection for the cult was no longer a secret. She also posted a message on our message board about purifying

    herself for taking a painkiller. She publicly informed members of our local chapter that she was in need of a

    scientology cleanse for taking pain killers. Most of the members thought this was a joke and to the few who

    really knew her outside of anonymous it was a clear warning sign of her alteration.

    It was Late August of 08, I had managed to spend the night at her house, and agree to an auditing session.

    I wanted to experience this auditing process, It would be my final lie to her, my instincts told me that this

    relationship would soon be terminated and it would be over on my terms. I took a long bus ride to her side of

    town, embracing the last of the summer air. It was a risk to allow her to perform any pseudo hypnosis on me

    but, that was my final curiosity and I trusted my sense to not be as gullible as she was.

    She set me up on a process known as "the sunshine rundown" Which was a type of psuedo therapy to undo

    depression which I had claimed to experience. She invited me over for auditing and dinner. Neither of which

    would normally appeal to me but, I accepted her offer and contemplated her skills in this field.

    She subjected me to long intervials of uninterrupted staring. Neither of us were allowed to blink. I began to

    question her and express doubt of this therapy. She stifled my dissent and I continued the staring.

    This process left my body feeling numb and I experienced a type of insidious euphoria accompanied by sweating.

    Once I had successfully denied myself of blinking and feigned interest in an L.Ron Hubbard lecture,

    she allowed me to sleep. I laid next to her and she asked me how I was feeling and I told her I had a headache,

    she then proceeded to look into my eyes and would not break contact, I was uncertain of what she would get

    by doing that to me. She told me that she could not find anything wrong with me, I argued that I just needed

    sleep. She agreed to sleep. I laid next to her with my eyes closed, I was tired but, I was too distrubed to sleep.

    She fell asleep first. I laid next to her recalling how she used to be, My eyes were closed as I reviewed

    the progress of her cognitive corruption. "why am I not falling asleep?" Rebecca asked herself... She looked

    down at her feet and covered them up with a blanket. She then fell asleep. It was evident to me that she learned

    that from a scientology. It was at this point I could surmise that half truisms can lead to complete complacency

    total deceptions. I felt satisfactory with my observations of her. I waited five minutes laying there contemplating

    my emotional expenditure on her and my tolerance for her nature. I leaned in closer to her and whispered "I hate

    you, if I was ever honest with you, Its here and now that I am... I hate you rebecca and I will win this game."

    I rolled over and fell asleep.


    The next morning I awoke with a headache and a vanquised tolerance to her obsession.

    My diminished state could not allow me to conceal my true attitude toward her faith. "Is that what you believe

    or is that what they told you to?" I bluntly asked her as we cleaned the dishes. She got angry with me and

    questioned my loyality to her and I offered a half hearted justification for my outburst. To claim her down I talked her into browsing lolcats with me and she left to take a shit.

    She had ballet practice and I walked with her to the bus stop. She had informed me that she will be moving to

    California to become an auditor and join her church full time. I calmly concurred that she should do so.

    Despite my knowing of what was likely to happen to her. I encouraged her delusional desire to serve an

    organization she orginally knew to be sinister. We parted and on the bus ride home it was then I knew that

    whatever I shroud I had over here was lifting and that I had to end the charade or permanently lose myself.

    We had one conversation over the phone and she began telling me about how she had disconnected from her

    various friends and from Anonymous. I could muster my sense of deception, I could only sigh in disbelief.

    I feigned an asthma attack and told her that I would talk to the next day. Upon hanging up the phone I knew my

    time was up and it was my time to serve up my justice to her. I promptly wrote a letter of disconnect to her and

    left it at her door step. I would then follow through with the act of disconnect and not myself to communicate

    with her, It was like an ironic example to show what her practices do. She had wanted me to be one of them and

    use their practices in my daily life so I showed her the ultimate abandonment.

    However, after repeated attempts to talk with me, I talked with her over gmails. In a weak attempt to see if she

    could be swayed back into the ranks of anonymous. Against my better judgment I tried to make her doubt it but,

    she was so one sided that it proved to be infuriating as well as counter productive.


    We would later have communicated through the message board. She abandoned them upon her offical

    declaration to join the side of scientology. I

    I remained silent about her covert betrayal and accepting of her sorrow. My desire to observe her without

    interruption compelled me to remain objective and passive to her reprogramming. This may have been ethically

    wrong but, it was to satisfy my curiosity. They would later interfere but, by then it was too late to intervene

    and she went missing. A good bye note suggested that she was leaving the country. There was also conflicting

    reports of various other scenarios but, I refused to part take in any speculation. Refuting any interest in her

    where abouts or well being. My only estimation of her fate was that she was going to be recruited into their

    work force and be promoted into an auditor. All I knew is that she was going to get what she deserved in the end. She has no one to blame but, herself for her repugnance



    at the behest of her negligent mother, our group was mostly interested in her rescue but, i advised against it.

    i renounced her loyalty and the proposal of her retrieval. Those were opposed were unexplainable in their silence.

    This lead me to drop out of project chanology without word to the group.

    As I felt my disappearance from the cell would be needed to remove the drama and distraction from the Aims of Scientology.

    Best Wishes from FF.
     
  2. I told you I was trouble

    I told you I was trouble Suspended animation

  3. nobody

    nobody Patron

    Pardon me it may have been the two years of solitude but I am curious to what you mean by :whistling:?
     
  4. practice

    practice Patron with Honors

    well well, OSA is getting creative with their DA.

    where was the last time I saw double spaced writing?

    I have half a mind to hunt down the guy who wrote that and spoon his eyes out. Disgusting.
     
    Last edited: May 16, 2010
  5. I told you I was trouble

    I told you I was trouble Suspended animation

    Whatever you want it to mean.

    :whistling::whistling::whistling:
     
  6. TrevAnon

    TrevAnon Big List researcher

    tl;dr

    And if you do not know what this means just google it.
     
  7. nobody

    nobody Patron

    I don't care if you think I'm OSA. Even if I was I wouldn't be accomplishing anything by sharing a story from two years ago. If I were OSA I'd be tracking people down in real life or doing something potent. but, I'm not.
    I'm a twenty something with too much time on his hands and likes to reminisce about the good times.
    I was actively involved in Chanology until the taint of that "person" ruined it for me.

    I felt this story need to be told. BTW OSA of Las Vegas dress like olive garden waiters.
     
  8. practice

    practice Patron with Honors

    Good for you.

    The story stinks of OSA though, and some of the smell is rubbing off on you.
     
  9. anon2019

    anon2019 Patron with Honors

  10. nobody

    nobody Patron

    I don't blame you for being suspicious of me.
    I'm a little surprised at the cold reception though.
    Oh well, I feel better with this off my chest.

    Does OSA smell like Bread Sticks?:lol:
     
  11. nobody

    nobody Patron

    That would be her.
    I knew someone here would be real quick to piece it all together.
    Almost as if you were expecting it.
     
  12. GoNuclear

    GoNuclear Gold Meritorious Patron

    If you are NOT OSA...

    If you are NOT an OSA agent, then you ARE a guy who would eat a mile of some chick's crap just to get a whiff of her ass. Chicks either run from guys with that approach because they come off as creepy to them, or, less frequently, take advantage of such a guy and put him thru hoops ... she needs a ride here, a ride there, baby sitting for her flatulent little Chihuahua while she is busy shtupping some other guy, etc. What you never get from a chick while in that mode is any puddy-pie ... no, that never gets the sugar, period.

    If you are not some OSA puke, then someone needs to give you the game or you are phugged. I suggest that you do the Tony Berger course, it is somewhere to be found in cyberspace under the name "Advanced Macking" and it has nothing to do with pimping in the traditional sense but everything to do with mastery of shtupping chicks first night that you meet them.
    At a minimum it will put you attitude-wise on the right track.

    Pete
     
  13. nobody

    nobody Patron

    I read the game already.
    My aim wasn't being with her, it was more about having a short term relationship that mutated into observing how someone would get brainwashed.
    I got into way healthier relationships since then. Its not about romance at all and it never was.
     
  14. practice

    practice Patron with Honors

    Wait - are you saying you wrote that?

    That's... worse than I thought.
     
  15. nobody

    nobody Patron

    What do you care what my love life is like anyway?
    Is this some kind of PUA message board?
    I came here to tell my story and briefly talk about the process of being "converted" into Scientology.
     
  16. He-man

    He-man Hero extraordinary

    Just to get this straight, you were involved with this girl so that you could study and observe her? You didnt try to help her in any way?
     
  17. nobody

    nobody Patron

    I tried to subtly to get her to see the error of her ways. I've seen people try directly to get her to leave the cult but, that only strengthened her resolve to be with them.

    I warned her before, I hinted that things were wrong. Eventually I decided that there is nothing I can do and that this is a rare thing to observe. So why pass it up.
     
  18. He-man

    He-man Hero extraordinary

    I´ll be honest with you, you´r OP reeks weird. Creepy weird, and I´m not being funny. Maybe it´s the way you write it, maybe it´s the fact that english isn´t my primary language. And I´m not trying to be funny or start a flamewar but I think you should take a look at what you wrote, and did.

    You get together with a girl you met through anonymous, you keep it for yourself(even though you state more guys are after her), You have a relationship.
    You then, as time progresses, see her dwindle down into scientology... and set her up like an object for observation?

    You never thought to:
    1) Seek help for her, I mean professional help?
    2) Dump her?
    3) Get a network together to counsel you what to do?
    4) ???

    And then 2 years later you decide to come out on the board with this story, what for? To brag? To educate the masses?

    Did it ever occure to you that the reason why you know of her reasoning is because she confided in you because you were a couple?

    I mean if you are for real, wich I accept as a possibility because of the link to her story, why would you post this, what is your intent?

    I mean, we are talking about a living breathing human being are we not?
     
  19. Arthur Dent

    Arthur Dent Silver Meritorious Patron

    Trollish drivel. Story real or not.
     
  20. nobody

    nobody Patron

    1:Well, I honestly thought she would've snapped out of it on her own and at the time I didn't think it necessary to take any outside help.

    2: I chose not to dump her so soon because that would've meant losing the status I had with her and I simply wanted to be a boyfriend for awhile... I dumped her eventually of course and the method I dumped her in was intended to make her see what Scientology has done to her. It didn't wake her up but it was my last ditch effort.

    3: Her internet friends from WWP and other various sites gathered to counsel her on her behavior and she got extremely angry with them. So I decided against recruiting people to help me. I seriously felt like nothing could be done to help her.

    Oh she confided in me but, then I caught her in lies. I didn't know which of her stories were true and I knew enough about her before she joined Anonymous to gather that she was never a good person. It occured to me that I was watching Karma in Action.

    The reason I posted this story is because I felt the masses could've learned something. I heard so many stories from Ex's and Other Anons. I felt like I should give back a little and this story is to inform. I am not the bragging type.

    Yeah she's still living and breathing last I heard. you can find her stories somewhere on this site.