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Discussion in 'New Member Introductions' started by therealdeal, May 9, 2017.

  1. therealdeal

    therealdeal New Member

    Hello, i am new here. Searching for resources to help me get out of this "religion"
    I grew up in scientology, my whole family is a member and I have no where to go. My employer is also a Scientologist. Any of you guys here in the Los Angeles area have any tips or resources I can get to help get out?

    I have been looking for a new job for a couple months now, anything helps!

    Thanks and feel free to ask any qiestions you would like :)
    Last edited: May 9, 2017
  2. Dulloldfart

    Dulloldfart Squirrel Extraordinaire

    Welcome. I hope we can help.

    Got any money saved up? Any non-Scn friends? Are you still a minor?

  3. AngeloV

    AngeloV Gold Meritorious Patron

    Welcome, therealdeal. Glad you are here and want to get out.

    A few questions:

    1. Are you living with your parents? Or do you have your own place?
    2. Are you working for the cult either in an org or in the sea org?
    3. Are you currently on course or receiving auditing?
    4. If you are public, how often do you go to the org for services, etc.?
    5. Do you have any skills that you have acquired outside of the cult?

    I'm trying to ascertain how enmeshed in the cult you are and what opportunities may exist for you to extract yourself from it.
  4. therealdeal

    therealdeal New Member

    Well, I am not a minor however I do still live with my parents.
    I was in the Sea Org for about 5 years, since then I have gained quite a bit of experience working in offices as either a receptionist or office manager. I have a many non-scn friends but haven't been able to save up enough money to just drop and run.
    i have to continue going to the church for fear I will loose my job and my family is very much involved. I am essentially stuck.

    My friends say I should just pack my things and disappear.
  5. TheOriginalBigBlue

    TheOriginalBigBlue Gold Meritorious Patron

    Study up on the best cities and states for quality of life, business friendly environment, job opportunity, your personal interests, etc.

    The location where you plan to invest most of your life building a base of operation is the most important question. The next best thing is to adopt a willingness to relocate if transfers are what is required to climb the ladder of the industry you choose - at least until the transfers lead you to the ideal opportunity to settle on a location.

    I found that there was very little in Scientology that was helpful to me when I routed out of the SO. The financial policies were probably the most useless. Work hard, treat people fairly, use common sense - TheOriginalBigBlueism.

    Edit: Scientologists are programmed to make sacrifices in the name of loyalty and a greater purpose. That has it's place but I think part of breaking the indoctrination is to insist that you are also treated in kind. Relationships get tested and sometimes they are strengthened and sometimes they collapse. That is natural. Relationships in Scientology are not natural. There are ulterior agendas and things are forced and that means they start out with a lot of baggage.
    Last edited: May 9, 2017
  6. Enthetan

    Enthetan Master of Disaster

    Short answer:
    Just get out

    Longer answer:
    1) Be diligent about getting a new job. That will be the first thing to go.
    2) Cultivate non-Scientologist friends. They will be handy if you find yourself needing a couch to sleep on.
    3) Don't assume you will need to move out of your parents house immediately. Avoid making it necessary.

    You can delay things by simply not starting a new course/service and not paying for anything further. Don't do dramatic gestures for the sake of dramatic gestures. Just assert your own independence.

    Scientology is currently in a stage where they cannot afford starting a chain reaction if they can avoid it. Are you really sure that, if your parents were forced to make a choice about you, that instead of disconnecting from you, they would instead walk away from Scientology? The Org might not be so certain.
  7. Enthetan

    Enthetan Master of Disaster

    One additional reason for getting a job at a non-Scn company, is that they will probably pay more. Perhaps much more. Scientologists are willing to accept lower salaries for the chance to work with other Scientologists. Regular people want money.
  8. AngeloV

    AngeloV Gold Meritorious Patron

    Thanks. Getting out of the SO was your best move yet. The SO is about as 'in' the cult as you can get. I presume you routed out, not blew, since you are still in good standing. Congrats on doing this! BTW, I was also in the SO and blew over 35 years ago. I consider that decision one of the best and most important in my life.

    First order of business, as has been mentioned, is to find another job. You should be laser focused on doing this because without income you are extremely limited in your choices of almost everything. Keep looking every day. Attend job fairs. Once you secure another position, save as much money as you can (you have your own bank account right?) and move out into your own place. When you put distance between you and your parents, you will gain independence and freedom.

    Second, spend as little time as possible in the org. Slowly reduce the time you spend there. If questioned about your 'loyalty' to the cult, never criticize it (you know how you will be labeled and the negative attention you will receive). You can say you are kind of bored with it now or you want to use what you have learned there to do other things.

    Third, make a 1 and 5 year plans for your life. Where do you want to be in 1 year, then in 5 years? What do you like to do? Really consider getting training in a profession or going to school with the goal of making more income. Also, stop using cult terminology in your speech and thinking...this will be hard to do but will begin to get you out of the cult brainwashing.

    About leaving your family: While this is certainly an option, the consequences are severe. The emotional impact may be too difficult to deal with. You may run out of money and have to return to your parents house.

    Good luck!
  9. therealdeal

    therealdeal New Member

    Thank you, all of you for the advice.

    I am currently taking some college classes and searching daily for a new job, eventually I will find one and will be able to move out. At my current position I am actually paid quite well. However, there are not benefits or paid holidays and almost all my money goes toward paying bills for donations to the church.

    Have any of you been successful when asking for a refund or repayment of unused monies "on account"?
    I am afraid I will have to ask for one due to the amount I have donated. I realize this makes it even more tricky to get out but I can not think of a way around it.

    Once again, thank you for your advice. It is tremendously helpful at this point.
  10. Dulloldfart

    Dulloldfart Squirrel Extraordinaire

    How does that work? A bill is usually a request/demand for payment for services already rendered. The CofS isn't supposed to deliver any services on credit apart from rare Qual ones like cramming. They misuse "donations" to mean both fees (monies for books or services to be delivered) and donations (monies for which nothing tangible is expected in exchange).

    Many people have been successful at getting back repayments (no services taken with the money) and a far lesser number refunds (money returned after taking the service paid for). Lots of threads here on the subject. But it is hard to remain in good standing after asking for, let alone receiving such. If your parents are thoroughly in, that would present difficulties for you.

  11. Enthetan

    Enthetan Master of Disaster

    This is why reges try hard to get people to make large donations on credit cards, preferably maxing out the card. The reg gets his big commission, and the credit card company handles the job of getting the public to pay the bill, over years.

    This is also why it's REALLY, REALLY hate it when Scientologists declare bankruptcy. There was a time in the 70's when American express pulled Flag's ability to put charges on their card, because they noticed too many cases where large charges were made to Flag, and they were never paid. Also, I think there have been cases where bankruptcy courts have "clawed back" donations from Scientology to pay back creditors.
  12. Lulu Belle

    Lulu Belle Moonbat

    So, you make good money but you have no benefits and most of it gets funneled back to the church? This sounds very hamster-on-wheel to me. :hamster: You're working and working and getting nowhere.

    You'd probably come out more ahead taking a job that pays minimum wage and has at least minimum benefits. Financially, you'd probably wind up better off than in the situation you're in.

    I don't know anything about you, your situation or your skills but my first instinct is to tell you to get the hell out of LA. It's like trying to get rid of a disease where you're in the most heavily infested area of the world. As soon as you start getting better, you get reinfected. There are a whole lot of ways you could do this, and it's not as hard as it sounds. Your own fear of change may be the biggest thing holding you back.

    I would suggest finding a professional career counselor (non-Scn, of course) and tell him your situation and you skill set and ask for guidance. There's probably a whole lot of options available to you you don't even know about.

    If all else fails, there's always the military. You'd be guaranteed food and shelter, and you'd definitely get out of Los Angeles.
  13. HelluvaHoax!

    HelluvaHoax! Platinum Meritorious Sponsor with bells on




    The system is structured so that pro-survival wins and alignment are achieved for all beings!



  14. Enthetan

    Enthetan Master of Disaster

    Someone might say "Wouldn't it make more sense to reg the public for several smaller purchases over time, rather than one big credit card hit, and avoid him paying interest at absurd credit card rates?"

    The answer, from the viewpoint of the reg, is no. If the reg gets lots of money now, then the org has the money now, the ref has his commission, everyone is happy (except the public paying 18-35% interest).

    If they wait, the guy might get his money taken by another org, the ref might have been taken off post, lots of things might have happened.
  15. WhatWall

    WhatWall Silver Meritorious Patron

    FWIW, my advice:
    1. Work like hell to get out of debt.
    2. Don't incur any more debt for any reason!
    3. Stick to a written budget.
    4. Save up $1,000 for an emergency fund.
    5. Keep looking for another job. The best way to do this is through people you know.
    6. Eventually find your own place to live.

    Once you're finances are sound (no debt, non-Scn job, living within your means, adequate savings), you can be as evasive and non-committal as necessary when dealing with registrars, events call-in, IAS, etc. When you're living on your own, it will make it harder for the cherch to use your parents as leverage.

    You are vulnerable as long as the cherch can make you borrow more $$$ and threaten your job.

    If you can't protect your finances, getting out will be difficult, if not impossible.
    Last edited: May 11, 2017
  16. This is NOT OK !!!!

    This is NOT OK !!!! Gold Meritorious Patron

    This is a great idea for our young friend, but not as a last option. He/she should consider this as a PRIMARY option.

    You could start immediately!
    You're moved out.
    You're away from the cult.
    You're on the way to a steady pay-check and have immediate health and dental care.
    You can negotiate reduced payment plans with the cc companies without having to declare bankruptcy.
    If the debts for church donations are to individuals (family, other Scios), just tell them you can't afford to keep paying them and if they want the money they can go to the org and explain that it was stupid of them to pay in this money on your behalf and they can have the $ transferred into their own accounts.
    You're on the way to learning real job skills.
    In a few short years, you will have savings, car, GI Bill for higher education, etc., etc.

    GO FOR IT!
  17. ThetanExterior

    ThetanExterior Gold Meritorious Patron

    Yes, I got back money I had on account but I had to take them to court and I also got Declared. That was over 10 years ago and I'm not sure they would even give back the money nowadays.

    One thing is for sure though - if you ask for money on account to be repaid they will consider you to be an enemy. I don't know what they will do in response but the fact is they will no longer look upon you as one of them and that can only be bad news for you if you want to maintain contact with your family.
  18. dchoiceisalwaysrs

    dchoiceisalwaysrs Gold Meritorious Patron

    Welcome therealdeal.

    Lots of good options have already been suggested here.

    I hear that there are a lot of under the radar scientologists who want to leave. You don't have to answer here, but something to think about. How about doing a Leah Remini exit?
    What I mean is maybe...just maybe and it is apparently not that far removed from reality, is that your family are thinking along the same lines as you.

    Are your parents heavily in debt too? Maybe you can bring up the discussion about being in debt and pay attention to their response. I hope they are ready to drop and run also.

    You do know that court cases have been won by individuals who were fired/let go because of 'religious' discrimination which cuts both ways..Although that is probably more than you would be willing to take on, it is something to keep in mind.

    Anyway, good luck and I hope you get a job working in the District Attorney's office where you can chat up with your coworkers the dilemma you are in. Coerced into a position of indentured servitude is something the DA should have a bit of understanding about. Oh I am naughty....but then again I should have got out (well I should never have gotten in) 37 years before I did. Be smart get out. Don't be stupid for as long as I was... oh wait, you are not stupid you are here and asking for help now that shows intelligence... GO FREE..FAST as it makes sense to you.

    Just a little more naughtiness. How about dropping off a resume in the DA office, explaining what you did here and saying that is why you need a safe job where you can do some real good while really working your ass off.
    It might get some real attention.
  19. WhatWall

    WhatWall Silver Meritorious Patron

    Don't think the military should be the primary option due to risk of being sent to Iraq, Afghanistan or Syria. However, IIRC s/he could take one of the aptitude tests offered by one of the service branches to get an idea of what s/he would be trained for, thus giving a good idea of what kind of service would be involved.

    Then there's this: Much of the military is being used contrary to the Constitution and for the nefarious regime-change goals (e.g. Syria) of neo-con globalists. Not sure I'd want to contribute to that effort.

    The Coast Guard might be an option.
  20. TheOriginalBigBlue

    TheOriginalBigBlue Gold Meritorious Patron

    Everyone of military eligible age should be aware of the value of having military medical benefits when they are older. Do conduct a search for medical plans on-line using various age ranges just to see what you are in for, then back in an adjustment for inflation estimates. Also consider the advantage of benefits for your family. Prepare for some serious sticker shock.