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People from London/UK/elsewhere

Discussion in 'Reconnecting with Old Friends' started by Steven James, Apr 30, 2007.

  1. Pixie

    Pixie Crusader

    Wow!!:omg: A girl after my own heart. You duplicate my feelings exactly. One of the reasons I've not been able to write is because a lot of what I went through does in fact sound so unbeleivable, it's true, and what happens here is that I'll start to write something and it comes out in spurts then I stop myself cos I think no they're going to think I'm making this up. This was ll written up over a period of four years to Int Managment and independantly to McSavage and of course I got no reply.

    Also, the time lines are shot to hell and it is confusing even for me but yesterday I remembered where the trauma started so it's coming together. I am still heart broken you see, I have nightmares and very weird thoughts. I've not read anyone else having this amount of 'fall out' so I just keep quiet but sometimes.. like when I read Norton's name I just typed and typed. But sure, perhaps we ought to start a thread like that although most here sound pretty sane compared to what's still going on in my head regarding the 'church' and my experiences in it.

    It's bloody hard going I don't care what anyone says and yes Mary you are so so right, a lot of it, for me anyway, is pretending to be normal and I think that's why I am now so ill. A lot of the data you get in there DOES mess with your head for sure and you just don't know what's real anymore. So thank you so much for that acknowledgment. It IS hard to believe that two Sea Org members can turn into animals in the middle of one of the busiest streets in London and kick your car over and over again in full view of the public. I remember screaming at my husband to phone the police, but we were both too afraid. I mean can you imagine that? Too afraid? Afraid of what?? We'd already been verbally declared.. I still don't get it.

    Banging on the bonnet of the car, over and over again, then kicking the door in and the screaming. I can honestly say it was the scariest thing I've ever felt in my life. Their eyes were bulging with temper cos we wouldn't get out of the car. And screaming, 'what did you do to pull this in'? Insanity? Insanity itself gone mad.

    Then two years later Perry told me we were being used as 'heads on pikes'! Heads on pikes for what? For asking why there was squirreling going on?? And as I said, it was the tip of the iceberg. I know some day I'll have to get this all out of my system, it's not like I'm 'carrying' it around and don't want to let it go, I do, so much, and I don't hate these people, I understand them more now, but for sure I hated them then. :bigcry: Oh here we go, it's just too much emotion for me to deal with really. Thanks Mary... :)
  2. nexus100

    nexus100 Gold Meritorious Patron

    Take a visit up the coast to Seattle. I can't promise the food, but the weather, no problem.
  3. British Mom

    British Mom Patron with Honors

    Hi, I was at St. Hill from 81 to 1995. I liked Julie Price. I was on staff at AOSH late 80's or 90's (cant bloody remember, I have short & long term memory loss now). I worked with Margaret Ainsworth & Susan Prieur as a C/s, but was auditor for a long while.

  4. Alanzo

    Alanzo Bardo Tulpa

    Welcome, Suz!

    Don't mind my make-up, the Clerk plowed into a couple of bottles of wine last night and decided to desecrate everyone's avatars.

    You'll get that around here everyone once in a while.

    If you've ever seen "Animal House", we are not the fraternity that does the satanic ritual pledge ceremonies. We're the one next door.

    Tansy is Bluto.
  5. Dulloldfart

    Dulloldfart Squirrel Extraordinaire

    Hey Suz,

    Do I know you?

    Paul Adams
  6. British Mom

    British Mom Patron with Honors

    Dont know, were you on Staff?
  7. British Mom

    British Mom Patron with Honors

    Did you know Dominic OBrien?
  8. British Mom

    British Mom Patron with Honors

    Hi, Send me a PM & let me know who you knew at that time & I'll reply.
  9. Pixie

    Pixie Crusader

    I'm glad I'm not the only one suffering from this 'memory loss', I thought it was just me going mad. I guess the traumas have somehow affected our memories somewhat, I know my time line from that decade has been shot to pieces for sure. Well perhaps in time Suz it will all come back to us and we can deal with it and put it away. :yes:
  10. Mick Wenlock

    Mick Wenlock Admin Emeritus (retired)

    not sure where you are located but California has tons of british food shops. Nancy and I buy our Tea by the case from Piccadilly Importers based in California (we get Yorkshire Red) that same place has bacon, sausages, Maltesers, real Cadburys, sherbert fountains, you name it. McVities chocolate digestives - I could go on but I don't want to give you palpitations...
  11. Mick Wenlock

    Mick Wenlock Admin Emeritus (retired)

    Pixie! You are far from being the only one - it is a frequent complaint of ex-Sea Org members, myself included. I can find myself getting the years wrong when I did things, some areas seem to have taken years when it was only months. For the longest time I got the year wrong that my wife and I arrived back in the UK.

    I first went to Flag in January 78. During that time I did a bunch of courses, two missions, got posted as D/CS 6 and then left. I always "remembered" it ias being a year or more. Not true - I left for Europe in September.
  12. Mick Wenlock

    Mick Wenlock Admin Emeritus (retired)

    Hi Pixie,

    one of the reasons I wrote my story out was to show people that everything is not just a snap when we get out. As a family we had some very tough times - and many great ones too.

    One thing to bear in mind when you say "most people have done well" - have you ever met a scientologist who was willing to admit that he or she was not doing well? Even exes who are still somewhat in the mindset avoid saying that. Some people still worry about appearing "downstat"!!!

    So no worries - you are very much in the middle of the curve I think.
  13. Nuselkie

    Nuselkie New Member

    why would you tell the church anything about this board?
  14. Nuselkie

    Nuselkie New Member

    Re Old Friends

    Am I being obtuse?? But are you in good standing with the beloved mother church??
  15. Mary

    Mary Patron with Honors

    Welcome Nuselkie,

    Good to hear from you. I think that is an extremely good question - deserves it's own thread actually!

    When I was still indoctrinated, I was trying to help the church and doing my best to protect them from any criticisms, even though some of the insanities were glaringly obvious.

    I came across this board and read some of the posts - it was an electrifying experience. It was like penicillin to the heavily infected areas of $cn indoctrination.

    Would I want others to have the same gains gotten from this board? You bet. :yes:
  16. johnAnchovie

    johnAnchovie Still raging

    Hi Pixie

    I found it very important to find a commonality of experience with other ex Scientologists and ex Sea Org members, having been through a period of suicidal depression a few months after escaping the cult, I got help from a properly recognized counselling centre. Later I came across the board and was able to share my experiences, I am now writing articles and giving briefings on the subject of Scientology.

    All of the above are very important steps in my own recovery, I would more than recommend that you do the same, there are excellent counseling services available in England, also get medical advice.

    I may have met you, Perry and co were trained with Norton by the savaige on a new uncompromising system of management, why use diplomacy when a sledge hammer will do?

    PM me if you want, I can call you and run you through some of the positive actions I have taken, some may be of benefit to you.

    Meanwhile, all the best, and be gentle with yourself.

  17. Mick Wenlock

    Mick Wenlock Admin Emeritus (retired)

    John - what a great mantra. The exact opposite of scientology.

    I could not agree more.
  18. johnAnchovie

    johnAnchovie Still raging

    Be gentle

    Hi Mick, it is the advice that my therapist gave after my first session, it helped me to turn the corner as began to come to terms with where I had been and what I had done to myself, not to mention others.

    I use this along with 'respect yourself' and 'value yourself' or the more hackneyed but still very relevant 'love yourself'.
  19. Free to shine

    Free to shine Shiny & Free

    I was just talking to someone about this. The whole concept of "love yourself" was so foreign to me, having been virtually raised in Scientology. It was very, VERY hard to become "selfish" and actually both demand and accept the good things I deserve. There you go "deserve" is another concept that gets twisted and took a lot of sorting out. Like "you deserve your Bridge because you are one of the able". Well how come that turns into a money making exercise with only one outcome? How come you end up living in poverty and sometimes despair because you can't "make it go right" to get what you "deserve"? You start to think you deserve nothing....

    First you need to come to know yourself, warts and all, forgive yourself and acknowledge and start to respect your true gifts. :)
  20. Terril park

    Terril park Sponsor

    I 'm a freezone friend of his. Can connect you if you want.

    In my sig line you will see a URL for the channel 4 program, ' The
    Beginners guide to LRH'.

    Dominic was one of the stars.

    Mail me at