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Rock Slams - Not Evil Intentions, But What Terrifies You

Discussion in 'Evaluating and Criticising Scientology' started by JustSheila, Mar 23, 2019.

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  1. JustSheila

    JustSheila Crusader

    Some time ago, Bill Franks wrote a post here to tell us that when people leave (blow) it is not because of missed withholds (things someone did wrong) as L Ron Hubbard stated, but due to ARC breaks (upsets). Franks wrote that L Ron not only knew this, but intentionally made sure others were misinformed to believe it was their own fault. Bill Franks' post is here:

    Some years ago, I read my pc folders. Well, the current (fat one with summary) and a couple of the more recent ones, anyway. Since I worked in the tech area, I had access to them, so I did.

    I had one rock slam in there. Of course, the C/S and others believed it was due to "evil intentions." For years afterward, I believed that, too. It's not something I normally think about, but in the last two weeks the same subject came up that apparently caused a rock slam and it triggered this memory of reading that in my pc folder.

    Now that I'm long out of Scientology and not on a meter, I know what I felt when the needle did that. What I felt was TERROR. :omg: It was something I'd been terrified about since I was a kid and still scares me.

    Now, thirty years later, I'm aware that wasn't an evil intention at all and I'm dealing with that fear. :happydance: Wow.

    I've seen a few rock slams on others when I was in Scientology and there were definitely no rings or other metal things around to cause them, because I checked. It's a crazy needle reaction (when it really occurs). It's not like anything else. What causes it may not be consistent from person to person, either, but maybe this makes sense to a few other people here.

    For me, it was just ONE MORE TRAP that L Ron Hubbard worked into Scientology. Here was something that a trained counselor would have addressed by taking up that fear so it would be resolved and I could happily and confidently get on with my life. I went through my life with that fear, that terror, avoiding it more than ever after Scientology since it was apparently an area that was a "source of evil." I made things excessively difficult for myself with that avoidance and had done it for so long, I actually forgot about it. This wasn't some wholetrack figment of my imagination, either, but something very real in life that scared the bajeebies out of me. The subject of my rock slam happened to also be one of those groups that L Ron Hubbard constantly raged against as "evil." Imagine the mindfuck: I was terrified of a group that L Ron Hubbard claimed was evil and my terror was called "evil intentions" instead of fear. Instead of addressing that fear, it was reinforced with wild, crazy stories by the cult (similar to its "industry of death" museum) and I was taught to avoid and attack. I (subconsciously) hid in Scientology and the Sea Org for years, thinking it was a "safe" and "sane" place, as it reinforced that terror to grow ever bigger.

    Sheesh. :faceslap:

    If you ever had a rockslam or saw one, maybe, just maybe, it was just something that scared you, not something you wanted to destroy, as the tech told you. Just like what Bill Franks said about ARC breaks, I think L Ron intentionally mistated the cause of rock slams, just to keep us locked in our own fears and make us easier to control.
  2. The_Fixer

    The_Fixer Class Clown

    It is certainly amazing what follows you around after the cult is long gone.

    Then one day it hits you right between the eyes.

    Still better being out though.
    Enthetan likes this.
  3. JustSheila

    JustSheila Crusader

    Yeh, it sure is. :yes:

    The entire cult routine of calling one emotion another, one reaction another and mis-assigning the cause of things is particularly insidious when you're a kid, but it affects adults, too.

    I can't believe I'm just realizing I had such a deep fear going on all these years. :duh: That's how much I avoided it. Very cool to be able to do something about it now, though. Life keeps getting better. :thumbsup:
    guanoloco, Enthetan and The_Fixer like this.
  4. I told you I was trouble

    I told you I was trouble Suspended animation

    I once witnessed an RS ... and it was while in a group co-auditing situation. I won't go into too much detail (because the "PC" very occasionally posts here) but I am pretty certain that whatever was going on was just down to mortifying stress or, as you say (Sheila) ... fear.

    We had all been thrown into a room due to a newly arrived and unexpected mission. It was late at night, we were all tired and a muster had been called to announce the arrival of the mission from the US. A scary female (clipboard carrying!!!) missionaire pranced in wearing a sailor suit and yelled a bit about what losers we all were (the stats had been down) then we were paired up with the closest person and told to start auditing each other!

    Meters had been set up and paper/pens.

    I knew the poor guy I was twinned with liked me in a way that "wasn't allowed" in the SO (if you get my meaning). I know that sounds arrogant but that's the way it was and even looking me in the eye was clearly a problem for him, he went bright red and suddenly the meter went ballistic ... I stayed calm and managed to catch the missionaires eye, she came over and saw what was going on with the needle but did nothing so I just wrote it down without him seeing what I wrote (not easy due to no screens) and ended off as soon as I could.

    Anyway I mention this now because at the time I just knew it was nothing do with evil purposes but was actually due to acute discomfort and embarrassment and possibly the tension (I'm being polite here) he was feeling.

    In other words he was ... scared stiff ... (and it was apparent from where I was sitting).


    I hope he laughed in later years if he ever recalled the experience ... it wasn't funny at the time though, it was wild (from my side anyway). The meter just went off on one and I had no idea what to do ... luckily he didn't know what the meter was doing which is why I know he won't ever read this post and put two and two together.
    LoneWolf likes this.
  5. RogerB

    RogerB Crusader

    Well, Sheila, you are quite right about your R/S . . .

    I have written on this R/S subject before on ESMB, as did Alan.

    In actuality, all an R/S signals is conflicted or opposed intentions. Indeed, the genesis of it goes back down to the "rock" the relationship one (is said to have) had with it wherein one had to compulsively reach for it yet at the same time flee from it.

    In 1962 we were using R/S's as the meter read action to signify we had THE correct item when listing by L&N for the identities making up the identity packages of R2-10 and R2-12!!!!

    No mention of "evil" or intentions. . . .

    Then Hubbard came out with his Scn List 1 (note it is the Scn List One, not the L1 for assessing upsets) and declared anyone who R/Sed on any item on that list had "counter-intentions/evil intentions" AGAINST him, MSH, and the various parts of Scn . . .

    The rest, as they say is a history of stupidity!!!

    Following that, conventional stupidity (of which there was and is too bloody much in the cult) had it that ANY R/S equaled "evil" . . . and cases were ever after screwed up on that point alone.

    So, my Dear, leave that shit behind . . . it is all a horribly wrong indication and wrong item.

    And even Hubbard said that wrong indications can make one go psycho as it causes the unsolvable problem of trying to handle what is actually not there to handle.
    JustSheila likes this.
  6. Enthetan

    Enthetan Master of Disaster

    Wasn't it Hubbard himself who said "The way to control someone is to lie to them"?

    He WANTED people to introvert in the subject of "evil purpose".
    JustSheila likes this.
  7. guanoloco

    guanoloco As-Wased

    Rockslams = terror. No wonder there were all those List 1 R/Sers!!
    LoneWolf and JustSheila like this.
  8. The_Fixer

    The_Fixer Class Clown

    Were you being deliciously naughty? :;): :bignono:

    Anyway, there is nothing scarier than a clipboard carrying female from the USA with "authoritah!" I'm kinda surprised no one shot her.
    LoneWolf likes this.
  9. guanoloco

    guanoloco As-Wased

    Hubbard's folders were littered with R/Ses. Makes perfect sense as he hid away in his RV like Howard Hughes.
    JustSheila and LoneWolf like this.
  10. LoneWolf

    LoneWolf Patron

    I saw an R/S on myself while solo auditing. It was startling but it blew. Ha, ha I'm no worse for wear. After leaving the Cult, I've been doing really GREAT. Enjoyed reading these post!