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Scientology’s weirdly detailed shrine to L. Ron Hubbard in Florida even has ocean sounds

Discussion in 'Tony Ortega' started by RSS Feed, Nov 8, 2018.

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  1. RSS Feed

    RSS Feed RSS Feeder Bot

    There is a new post up at the Underground Bunker

    Scientology’s weirdly detailed shrine to L. Ron Hubbard in Florida even has ocean sounds

    [Hubbard in the room that is now lovingly recreated at Flag]

    Our thanks again to Rasha, who rushed to us the newest Source magazine out of Scientology’s spiritual mecca, the Flag Land Base in Clearwater, Florida. Most of it is the usual drivel, encouraging members to drop large sums on a visit so they can [...]

    [​IMG][Hubbard in the room that is[.......]

    Continue reading...
  2. Clay Pigeon

    Clay Pigeon Gold Meritorious Patron

  3. HelluvaHoax!

    HelluvaHoax! Platinum Meritorious Sponsor with bells on

    I just donated a lot to the IAS to help build another shrine, exactly reproducing the inside of Ron's BlueBIrd motorhome that he used when he went on the lam to avoid civil and criminal prosecutions.

    It has a Madam-Tussaud-quality replicant of LRH laying in a bed, smoking Kools and drinking gin, with an looped audio voice repeating "What's the Date? What's the Date? What's the Date?"

    This could become a holy Mecca for Scientologists to visit each year with a gift shop that sells maps of all the locations the greatest OT in the universe was hiding.
  4. programmer_guy

    programmer_guy True Ex-Scientologist

    They should also show videos of staff being overboarded from the boats when they were in the Mediterranean (before Flag Land base was established).
  5. I told you I was trouble

    I told you I was trouble Suspended animation

    I hope you remembered to include the sound effects @HelluvaHoax!, I mean the wet sloshing sounds (of the ocean him wetting the bed) because it's always best to be totally authentic isn't it?

    He would have wanted that.

  6. HelluvaHoax!

    HelluvaHoax! Platinum Meritorious Sponsor with bells on

    Brilliant idea. I met with the audio technician that wired the sound system and assigned him "Enemy" for the overt of omission of not putting sloshing sounds in there.

    He is a wog, so of course he took no responsibility for the crime and kept justifying it by saying things like: "But, that wasn't on the work order invoice and you never asked me for that!" So fucking stupid! So I got in his face and screamed as loudly as I can (TR-8): "YOU FUCKING SP, STOP JUSTIFYING! YOU ARE A FUCKING 100 TRILLION OLD BEING AND RON SAYS THAT 'NOT KNOWING IS NEVER AN EXCUSE' because 'THE BEING ALWAYS KNOWS', since the being has done everything before on the wholetrack!"

    When I gave him that r-factor, can you believe the wog DB looks at me with a victim valence face and has the nerve to ask me: "Wait, what are you talking about? What is 'wholetrack' and who is 'the being'?" Naturally I screamed "KNOCK OFF THE FLASHBACK!!!!!" and then I forcefully pushed his head into a toilet.

    Since we were not at sea, that's how I made it go right to slam in ethics by applying Dr. Hubbard's overboard water tech.
  7. HelluvaHoax!

    HelluvaHoax! Platinum Meritorious Sponsor with bells on


    postscript: I am thinking of adding more sound FX to Ron's BlueBird Museum.

    Specifically, the muffled sounds of a small 4 year old child screaming and hysterically crying from deep down inside a dark, cold chain locker. I wanted to survey this first, so please get your answers back to us immediately:

    1) How would the sound of wailing DBs inside small bodies help visitors to the BlueBird Museum connect with Source?

    2) How many more visitors to Ron's BlueBird Museum do you think we could attract if we added a new exhibit that was a diorama of a little kid dramatizing hysterical low-toned grief inside a chain locker?

    3) How much extra would you expect to pay to see the new chain locker exhibit?

    4) If we added additional bruised and bleeding toddlers to the exhibit, do you think that this would be enough to attract famous international human rights activists, foreign dignitaries and other humanitarians who support Ron's and CCHR's "International Declaration of Human Rights"?

    Last edited: Nov 10, 2018
  8. I told you I was trouble

    I told you I was trouble Suspended animation

    Ah OK ... well, I'm glad you er ... restrained yourself and remained calm (TR's in and all that).


  9. Clay Pigeon

    Clay Pigeon Gold Meritorious Patron

    You are in fine fettle today HH

    I don't know your birthday but I must believe you are old enough to be cosidered a Curmudgeon

    And the acerbic piss and vinegar quality of this post demands you be nominated for the honors "Curmudgeon Cum Laude y Par Excellance "

    All in favor say "AYE!"
  10. HelluvaHoax!

    HelluvaHoax! Platinum Meritorious Sponsor with bells on


    Yeah, my space felt calm. And, naturally, my space felt big.

    Look for my OT win in the upcoming issue of ADVANCE! magazine where (amongst other unprecedented wins) I stated: ".....and then I smiled to myself, knowing that I will never again not have calm space for the rest of eternity, on this planet, in this sector and/or in this universe. Then I telepathically sent a com particle to the ghost that had been hanging around in the glove box in my car--which is the WHY that my TR-O momentarily went out and I veered off the road and careened down the mountain in a devastating crash. Well, I told that being to leave my glove box and "go pick up a new body at a local hospital". They flowed this answer back to me: "Whoa! Cool!" and then I perceived that they got into the ambulance with me. I kept telepathically telling that being to "leave me the fuck alone!" and "get the fuck out of here!" Finally I flattened his com lag and he took off. Then I (again) smiled to myself that Ron's OT tech was totally magical---and I have only just routed onto OT 1---and haven't even opened the super confidential, miraculous course pack yet!!!!!"
    Last edited: Nov 10, 2018
  11. HelluvaHoax!

    HelluvaHoax! Platinum Meritorious Sponsor with bells on

    people around me laugh a lot. curmudgeons can't do that. sorry to invalidate your knowingness, lol.

    ps: It is very funny to me that virtually EVERY SINGLE "indy" scientologist that has posted on ESMB always gets around to posting how HelluvaHoax! is curmudgeon-esque, by many & various synonymous terms: (including but not limited to: cynical, close-minded, low-toned, can't "have" spiritual things, negative, bigoted, bullying, mean, downtone, fixed ideas, prejudiced, anti-religion, hateful, intolerant, vicious, evil, disrespectful, biased, narrow-minded, fixated, oppressive, suppressive, anti-social, nasty, et al)

    CONCLUSION: Scientology believers are indoctrinated to believe that it is a "crime" to laugh outside of an auditing session, therefore people who make others laugh outside of session (especially at the expense of Hubbard's hellacious hoax) must somehow be bad. LOL.
    Last edited: Nov 10, 2018
    Clay Pigeon and tesseract like this.
  12. JustSheila

    JustSheila Crusader


    To really be authentic, though, don't forget the flatulence.
    (After all, he was an OT, able to communicate freely on any subject IN THIS UNIVERSE)

  13. strativarius

    strativarius Inveterate gnashnab & snoutband

    It's good to know that you're doing your best to uphold the high standard of posts here on esmb that those on the interwebs have grown accustomed to. Keep it up! :coolwink:
    Clay Pigeon likes this.
  14. Operating DB

    Operating DB Truman Show Dropout

    I had friends over for a vocal quartet rehearsal and dinner Friday night. One of them brought a remote control farting device. He would activate when any of us assumed the appropriate position such as when one of us would bend over, etc. We had a barrel of laughs that night. Three of us are in our 60's. I guess we never grew up!
  15. F.Bullbait

    F.Bullbait Oh, a wise guy,eh?

    Well there could be an amusement park... Ronworld tm.

    You enter through a likeness of Himself, walking through his gaping maw of rotten teeth.

    You can get audited by Roboron and he WILL find your overts.

    You can get overboarded; lots of water fun!

    You can experience the Chain Locker.

    or RPF

    You can get yelled at by Robosenior to ‘Make It Go Right’.

    You can purchase a refreshment of rice and beans. get the idea.
  16. F.Bullbait

    F.Bullbait Oh, a wise guy,eh?

    Oh, and when you exit Ronworld tm, you receive a personalized Declare.
  17. Clay Pigeon

    Clay Pigeon Gold Meritorious Patron

    Well, to begin with chum, I wouldn't deny it or renounce it if someone were to call me "an independent Scientologist" nor denounce them for saying so but I prefer not to be thought aligned to Miscavage's CoS:


    Nor am I now nor have I ever been one of Elron Elray's starryeyed sycophants. The man was a philosopher and a genius OF MAGNITUDE(!!!) but he certainly had a dark side (and a dumb side) and whether he was possessed of any true humanitarian sentiment is a matter of conjecture (I do believe he was, I can point to specific passages in his closing decology to support my opinion and state it is entirely clear that he was obviously addressing those uncommon readers who are intelligent literate tolerant understanding and compassionate in defense of his life's work)

    I am an AUDITOR!!!

    And I have no objection to being called "a dianeticist" and would consider the apellation "independent dianeticist" to be a redundancy.

    "Curmudgeon" among those of us of sufficient wit to admire the works of H. L. Mencken is an honorific rather than pejorative title HH. When I was younger I aspired to it and I damn well think I've earned it and hope to maintain curmudgeonly conduct until the passing years vest me with a rough gruff flaky crust and then continue to disappoint those detractors eager to celebrate my demise until I turn into a crazy old coot.
  18. HelluvaHoax!

    HelluvaHoax! Platinum Meritorious Sponsor with bells on

    sure...okay...then i am a curmudgeon.

    sure...okay....then Ron Hubbard was a "genius of magnitude"

    like this. . .

    LRH(G[sup]-3[/sup])[sup] [/sup]

    Hey, nobody said what magnitude. LOL

    LRonHubbard(Genius[sup]to the negative 3rd exponential power[/sup])

    negative third power = 0.001 (simultaneously Dr. Hubbard's OT level and his current tone level)
    Last edited: Nov 14, 2018
  19. Clay Pigeon

    Clay Pigeon Gold Meritorious Patron

    May you develop into a crusty old curmudgeon and live long enough to end up a crazy old coot...