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Scientology Haiku

Discussion in 'General Scientology Discussion' started by NoName, May 11, 2012.

  1. guanoloco

    guanoloco As-Wased

    Oh, ESMB
    Where Vinnie, Sneaks and the Bake?
    Knowing how to know
  2. F.Bullbait

    F.Bullbait Oh, a wise guy,eh?

    Not much in a haiku moodu. How about some Scientology aphorisms?

    Ron said so, it must be true.

    The meter said so, it must be true.

    We are not evaluating for you...we are not evaluating for you...we are not evaluating for you...

    What is true is true for you and we will ENSURE you think it is true.

    Proof? We ain't got no proof. We don't need no proof. I don't have to show you any stinkin' proof.

    You attain the state of Clear only if we say so. State of Clear is revocable at any time.

    We are clearing the planet, one bank account at a time.

    Last edited: Jan 16, 2016
  3. Jump

    Jump Operating teatime

    Sometimes people just can't be
    kept alive. . . . Lisa.

  4. Type4_PTS

    Type4_PTS Diamond Invictus SP

    Channelling Ron

    For just a brief breath
    in eternity... I'm here
    Hand over your wallet.
  5. HelluvaHoax!

    HelluvaHoax! Platinum Meritorious Sponsor with bells on

    Re: Channelling Ron



    Here's yet another creepy Hai-Ku-Fuk-Ku "command", coming down the lines from uplines on the commodore's cult command channel.

    "Look in your wallet
    and find something I can have."

    [Havingness Process]​
  6. Ogsonofgroo

    Ogsonofgroo Crusader

    Out needing answers,
    The purpose of life explained,
    Not a sick cartoon.

    Stir fried rice is nice,
    May my platter be endless,
    Lettuce celebrate.

    Walking down a street,
    They claimed the cake was yummy,
    Flour on my hands.

    Little dwarf of Ron,
    The gift that keeps on begging,
    Slippery slug-slime.

    :p :cheers:

    5 = haiku meter.
  7. Jump

    Jump Operating teatime

    The gift that keeps on begging,

    A very descriptive and clever line :thumbsup:
  8. Reasonable

    Reasonable Silver Meritorious Patron

    Turn on their family and friends
    Paranoid freedom
  9. Reasonable

    Reasonable Silver Meritorious Patron

    Re: Channelling Ron

    You are out haiki
    with "Hand over your wallet"
    Write up your overts
  10. Jump

    Jump Operating teatime

    Need to get money
    Gotta get up a level
    Hi Mom! How are ya?

  11. Gib

    Gib Crusader

    Re: Channelling Ron

    The work was free, so keep it so
  12. Helena Handbasket

    Helena Handbasket Gold Meritorious Patron

    Every haiku, like
    Iambic pentameter,
    Is oh so boring

  13. Jump

    Jump Operating teatime

    Shakespeare says for sooth!
    Westminster graves a'rolling.
    Pentameter rules.
  14. George Layton

    George Layton Silver Meritorious Patron

    attention he sought
    with his hubbardism rot
    and your dough to boot
  15. Type4_PTS

    Type4_PTS Diamond Invictus SP

    Re: Channelling Ron

    haiku history
    unknown to you, obviously
    invented by ron
  16. Hypatia

    Hypatia Pagan

    I went to the org
    Promised eternal freedom
    found heartbreak, penury
  17. Hypatia

    Hypatia Pagan

    Haiku can be fun
    We can say really weird stuff
    So party on, dude!
  18. Jump

    Jump Operating teatime

    They gave out their all
    Selfless serving of a source
    So, why are they dead? *

  19. Jump

    Jump Operating teatime

    Come for free stress tests!
    What about disconnection?
    Umm, gotta go now . . .

  20. guanoloco

    guanoloco As-Wased

    Must be well rested,
    Must be well fed - rudiments.
    4 hours, beans and rice...