ESMB has entered archive mode. All posts and threads that were available to the general public are still readable. The board is still searchable. 

Thank you all for your participation and readership over the last 12 years.

If you want to join in the conversation, please join the new ESMB Redux at

Scientology's TOP 100 biggest lies

Discussion in 'Evaluating and Criticising Scientology' started by HelluvaHoax!, Dec 12, 2009.

View Users: View Users
  1. HelluvaHoax!

    HelluvaHoax! Platinum Meritorious Sponsor with bells on

    HellYeah! Forgot about that one! :D

    Recently I was riding in a car with an emergency room surgeon and we saw a terrible car accident right in front of us.

    HELLUVAHOAX! Hey we should stop and try to help!

    SURGEON: I wish I could do something but I am not a Scientologist. What about you?

    HELLUVAHOAX! Sorry. I'm an Ex-Scientologist.

    SURGEON: No worries, let's just go to lunch then.
  2. Osiris

    Osiris Patron with Honors

    After you buy this Package I'll leave you alone........:laugh:
  3. HelluvaHoax!

    HelluvaHoax! Platinum Meritorious Sponsor with bells on

    2 Greatest CoS Finance Lies

    EX SCN: But you said I could get a refund without being harassed.
    OSA: The sec check is in the mail.

    DISAFFECTED SCN: I will talk to you thru my screen door you if you don't try to sell me anything.
    REG: I promise not to come in your house to reg you.
  4. Sai Ninja 2000

    Sai Ninja 2000 Patron with Honors

    nailed it on the head there ghost!!!!!!!
  5. the-ghostwhowalks

    the-ghostwhowalks Patron with Honors

    some more...

    "You can leave staff at the end of your staff contract easily without any problems or counter intention or other intention from the org"
    "No auditing as a staff member ? - Just sign another 5 year contract and we will sort it all out " :protest:
  6. I'll call you.

    oh wait...... that one is true.:roflmao:
  7. ClearedSP

    ClearedSP Patron with Honors

    "Dianetic auditing raises IQ by about 1 point per hour."

    Then by now my IQ is over 250. No wonder I got out! :D Now if only my TEST SCORES would show any change at all, I could be in the Guinness Book.

    "Out-exchange is a very poor ethical state, it's essentially criminality."

    Okay, so we don't give free services to the poor, because that would be making criminals of them. Now I understand why we have no real charity.

    So if I give you $40,000 for IAS, and another $100,000 towards an Ideal Org building, and you give me pin that says "Patron" on it, that's not out-exchange and thus criminal?
  8. anonomog

    anonomog Gold Meritorious Patron

    Blue asbestos? What blue asbestos?

  9. Osiris

    Osiris Patron with Honors

    oh & the justifications they give:

    when you have just been treated badly by the Reg, & complain about how you were treated, he pulls out a book called Hard Sell & says look, LRH said to do it,

    or he pulls out another quote (can't remember the reference)

    Where it says, it's OK to lie or cheat or be unethical to the customer, because it gets them in. (sorry can't remember this quote word for word, ATM, but you get the idea)
  10. HelluvaHoax!

    HelluvaHoax! Platinum Meritorious Sponsor with bells on

    more lies my guru used to tell me...

    If you pay money and do what Ron says you will advance to a higher evolutionary state called Homo Novis.

    Scientology and Dianetics are proven to work scientifically.

    The PTS tech shatters suppression.

    The cause of attacks on Scientology is that it works so well and is expanding so quickly.

    Anonymous is a hate-group against all religions and worship.

    The only reason someone leaves a group is because of the bad things that they have done to the group. (sorry, that applies to everyone... including Nazi concentration camp victims who try to escape)

    The Earth is a prison planet where only criminals and artists and whatever were dumped.

    Tone 40 "positive" postulates cause things to happen instantly.

    Each being was once a God trillions of years ago and can again soon be a God using Ron's tech in a couple of years.

    The gains from the OT levels are beyond your wildest imagination.

    OT VII handles everything. Literally.

    The OT materials are confidential because it will be too restimulative for lower level scientologists and wogs to know the truth.

    Scientology Public Relations tech is the most advanced PR tech in the world and works 100% of the time.

    Scientology's terrible PR in the world is not true. People and governments love Scientology.

    The rehabilitation project force rehabilitates people.

    The clearing course clears people.

    OT's can operate exterior to the MEST universe.

    OT's operate best 3 feet in back of the body.

    There is someone at the top of Scientology who cares about you personally (not your money, network or other valuable assets).

    Scientology's purpose is to help.

    Ethics officers are ethical.

    A loud, vindictive, lying fat man with rotted teeth is the savior of the universe. (sorry, couldn't resist! :D)
  11. I told you I was trouble

    I told you I was trouble Suspended animation

  12. Doom

    Doom Lurking.

    OSA special briefings are just that.

    those two guys over the road are harrassing the 50 across the road.

    Mike Ferris is not in big trouble for the "Disconnection" admission.

    Nobody in OSA is going to the RPF for the Aussie Flap.
  13. GoNuclear

    GoNuclear Gold Meritorious Patron

    some may not like this, but ...

    When it boils down to, the fundmental lie of Scientology, the one that Scientology sells and the lie that sells Scientology ... is a very, very, old lie, and not a creation of LRH, DM, or any of their minions. In fact, it is THE oldest lie, and it is found in Genesis, and it goes sorta like this: "... and ye shall be as gods ..." Remember that one? Isn't that what the point of chasing the OT levels was really all about?

  14. A.K. Myers

    A.K. Myers Patron with Honors

    Don't forget "Not smoking enough causes cancer."


    The freight trains that are running on Venus.

    Yep! And that is exactly my beef with the "fee zone."

  15. Type4_PTS

    Type4_PTS Diamond Invictus SP

    That's a good one. :D
    I've got personal experience with this one. I signed a 5 year contract and stayed for 7 years and they still didn't want me to leave! :grouch:

    One of my favorites! :)
  16. Osiris

    Osiris Patron with Honors

    I agree The Lie is that that we are GODS who have the same Powers as the creator of this universe, in fact Scientology believes we were the Creator of this universe, & gives no recognition to a greater being, (only praise to LRH & self)

    The True God must think that Scientologists are very arrogant indeed,
  17. HelluvaHoax!

    HelluvaHoax! Platinum Meritorious Sponsor with bells on

    more lies my guru used to tell me...

    Completing OT III gives you: "FREEDOM FROM OVERWHELM". Besides the obvious fact that it's all nonsense and it doesn't.....

    1. Even if one were to believe Scientology's version of the Grade Chart, it still makes no sense because...If BT's & Clusters are the cause of OVERWHELM and one has not invested a decade of OT VII auditing them, how would one be free of overwhelm by just auditing a few of them on OT III?

    2. Scientologists who are on OT III or above are in fact PROFOUNDLY OVERWHELMED by Scientology itself.

    It's a tricky semantic mind-control technique to convince someone that they have attained the ability to be FREE OF THE OUTSIDE WORLD when they enter a prison. Newly incarcerated, the inmate looks around his jail cell and sure enough--he IS free of the outside world, so it must be true! :D
  18. Opter

    Opter Silver Meritorious Patron

    It would be a lie if you request a refund or repayment from them.

  19. HelluvaHoax!

    HelluvaHoax! Platinum Meritorious Sponsor with bells on

    But, it would be true again if...when you request a refund they think you can be recovered and pay more money. :D
  20. Panda Termint

    Panda Termint Cabal Of One

    Gawd, this list will be endless, why not cut to the chase with the BIGGEST LIE;
    "We always deliver what we promise".