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The Simplicity of Scientology - My Personal Story

Discussion in 'Stories From Inside Scientology' started by Illegal Alien, Jun 1, 2009.

  1. Illegal Alien

    Illegal Alien Patron with Honors


    Having been around Scientology for 20 years with brief periods on staff in local Orgs and Sea Orgs(Management) and having achieved OT5 (which for those new to Scientology is essentially three quarters of the way along the “Bridge to Total Freedom”. I consider myself qualified to talk about the ins and outs of Scientology.

    Everything I am about to talk about here is based on my own experiences and Scientology I am sure will have their own opinion which they are entitled to. One thing I do want to mention for anyone curious about Scientology or in doubt as to whether to continue in Scientology is the following. There is no better way to judge the product of an organization than to talk to its current members and its ex members. Beware of any organization that tells you not to talk to its ex members. The truth is in its members past and present. Do not be fooled by fancy magazines, photos or claims of achievements; look, verify, talk to all and get on the internet. Hey, I will be the first to say the internet contains some lies but it also contains truth. Don’t read one or two items read dozens and you will be able to work through what is true or a lie and you will see a pattern emerge. Look for those that have experience in Scientology, current AND ex members with years under their belts and well progressed in Scientology courses and ask questions.

    The Main purpose of any Scientology Organization is to get you to move along the “Bridge to Total Freedom” To achieve the state of OT. You will pay vast sums of money to achieve this. In addition to this during your time in the Organizations huge donations will be solicited from you towards promotion campaigns, new buildings and legal battles (fighting off attacks against the church buy supposed suppressive people)
    You become aware of this once you are in the confines of Scientology.
    From the outside Scientology shows itself as this immense humanitarian movement, helping with drug addiction, education, disaster relief through its Volunteer Ministers and in fact the current official Scientology webpage, demonstrates this showing all its humanitarian groups with very little info given on this “Bridge to Total Freedom” which is the basis of everything you do in Scientology.

    My first real memory of Scientology was from my childhood when my mom came home devastated with tears in her eyes that L Ron Hubbard had died. I remember hearing later that L Ron Hubbard had died out of his own free will as his body was an obstacle to further research and he had gone off to do further research into the upper levels of the “Bridge” as a spiritual being; at the time I did not quite fully understand all of this so did not pay much attention to it.
    Years later I was recruited for the Sea Org before finishing school. Don’t ask me how this happened it just did and I honestly can not remember the reason I did it. I had not even done any full studies in Scientology at that time. Maybe I just wanted to get out of school I don’t know.
    One of my mom’s friends was the recruiter and to cut along story short I was shown pictures of Flag and how wonderful it was how the staff were uniformed and worked in this very elegant environment, great accommodation. So I joined only to find out that the local CLO was not anything like Flag and that Flag was actually in another country. How that failed to come to light I do not know. The local Sea Org lived in a very rundown old convent with coal fires to heat the water. I had to buy my own uniforms and the main CLO building was nothing like I was told the Sea Org would be like. The whole recruit process was a fake and I was completely lied to.
    Well as you can imagine it did not last long and some time later I routed out.

    Back in the real world I was doing very, very well at work and enjoying my success.
    Another one of these moments that I can not remember exactly how or why it came to be but I went to pick my mom up from the Org and while waiting was given a metered interview. I remember my mom saying I should so. I had never held the cans of these e-meters so figured why not. A result of this was that I was told I needed to do my CCRD (Clear Certainty Rundown). Not sure what this all meant I was told the meter showed a certain needle characteristic that indicated I needed this rundown. It was a very special thing as it hinted that I was Clear from a past life. WOW, at that time knowing nothing really about Scientology, I knew now from what was being said to me that I was “special” potentially a being above the average being. So yes my ego grew and I again asked about Ron and was very intrigued that a mere man could decide to die at will so he could go off as a spirit to continue his research. To me that was real cause therefore there must be something to Scientology if somebody could do that; and now that I am in some way “special”, I decided to get involved and study Scientology.
    A few months later I was OT5.

    Now let’s talk about these OT levels. This is what it’s about to the individual Scientologist, to become OT. Cause over life, hold the secrets to life and a knowingness far, far superior to the man in the street. The thing other religions and ancient philosophies have all tried to achieve and here in Scientology it has been done and mapped out for you in easy steps to achieve great knowledge and become powerful.
    There was much secrecy over these OT levels they were super confidential, if you were not prepared for them the information contained in these levels could make you very, very ill even kill you. Anybody wanting to do these levels had to get special security checks and all aspects of your life looked into in order to get the okay to start these special levels. You would be unique, a handful in the population with extraordinary knowledge and ability.
    Lets just make one thing clear here as I went through the courses and auditing to get to the OT levels I had some great wins and realizations which essentially is what fuels your urge to continue up to OT. You experience a win or cognition therefore it works and as a result you can only imagine how big those wins and cognitions will be the higher you get on the “Bridge”.
    The lure and secrecy of these OT levels is very powerful .Anything could be written on these levels and you would believe it with out a doubt, not the slightest hesitation that it was not true, after all the man who discovered all this was powerful enough to leave his body and travel into the spiritual realm to further his research into Scientology.
    I lapped it up and enjoyed every moment of my journey to OT5 and was looking forward to tackling the world head on as I was now “knowing” and understood life and knew the “secret” and off course I was CAUSE OVER LIFE now.
    What happened next troubled me to no end. Here I was back at work in the normal world. This OT5 and far superior to average man yet I still ran into the same problems and obstacles as everyone else, failure, success, upsets, heartache and really saw myself as no different to anybody else, it was as if I was still me, the guy who was successful before finding Scientology only now confused as I had done all these courses and had the “secrets” to life yet it served me nothing outside of Scientology. Life became complicated as I was analysing everything and categorizing people and labeling them and felt I did not really fit .This started a little fire a very, very minute fire of concern or curiosity about the validity of all I had done in Scientology.
    So I figured I had better go back to Scientology to get myself fixed as something was obviously wrong. So I went to Flag.
    To not write a novel here I will keep this part short.
    I ended up joining staff at Flag, after all I will admit I enjoyed having my ego pumped up by the recruiter, even though I did not qualify having debts and a young child.
    During my time in HCO I worked a bit with the CLXII (Class 12) auditors.
    Now CLXII auditors are the highest trained tech people in Scientology it’s the top of the “Bridge” its no small achievement they are VERY important people in Scientology and know it all. They have all the knowledge there is no Tech person higher than them and no more “Bridge” on the tech side to travel. I was very intimidated as what would I be able to do for them.
    I was amazed buy the upsets and disagreements or non willingness to handle a situation it was like doing a handling on a brand new public. It puzzled me, as surely these highly trained individuals would be different or a lot more cause than most. Maybe I expected too much but it added to the little fire of curiosity and concern about the subject as a whole.
    During my time on post I became aware of a Flag staff member who in the past was pregnant and instructed by her Seniors to have an abortion as leaving staff to have a baby would not be the greatest good for Flag. This is contrary to Hubbard’s teachings and I could not think with this but as I was not around at the time did not pay much attention to it.
    A series of events followed. The reasons I did not qualify for staff in the first place needed attention and I eventually blew and routed out in another org.

    I am going to jump forward many years to the point where this little fire of concern and curiosity suddenly got fueled and started to burn stronger. It is strange that during these years all my upsets or disagreements in life seemed to center around Scientology or Scientologists.
    Now in good standing with Flag, all dues paid and conditions done things started to turn.
    The news of the “Non Clear R-factors” alarmed me. How does this happen. Essentially thousands of Scientologists who attested to the state of Clear were told in fact that they were not Clear and needed to pay all over again for something they were told they had already achieved with NO real reason why being given. EXCUSE ME!
    Now at every point in the history of Scientology it is always said “100% standard tech”, 20 years ago, 10 years, even now. What a lie if the tech was standard the results would be solid, that is of course if the tech even works or for that matter if it’s still the same tech Ron developed.
    Then I hear about OT’s even OT7s being told they are not Clear. How does an OT7 audit himself for years, be checked by the highest trained people at Flag get told ooooo sorry you are not clear. HOW IS THAT MISSED?????????
    Hang on when you get onto the OT levels like I said above if you are not ready for the data you could get seriously ill or die. I don’t see all these OT’s with non clear r-factors dieing or freaking out. So that must be a lie, that not being ready these levels could kill you as they were not Clear so therefore were not ready for the OT levels.
    In the middle of all this Scientology has the “Golden Age of Tech “campaigns were errors in the materials were found and corrected and now it is “100% Standard Tech” (we have heard that before). Then funny thing being these non clear r-factors were given to people who attested to Clear before AND after this “Golden Age of Tech” thing. Didn’t they just correct the supposed out tech with the “Golden Age of Tech” does not look like it. IS THIS A JOKE?

    A couple years went buy, not being active in Scientology but still with this fire of curiosity and concern about this subject confidentially burning inside me. I say confidentially as I had not voiced my concerns to anybody as yet and still not really wanting to believe that it may be a scam.
    I was back on auditing lines after many, many years with an intensive paid for in a hope to get things cleared up .Again to keep the reading short I finished the intensive and went home rather perplexed by what had just occurred. I remembered how I enjoyed doing OT5 all those years ago yet now it seemed mediocre, average like. I wondered why, what had changed the process was still the same so why was it average? Then to me it made sense many years ago when I got onto OT5 all the hype and build up and revealing of life’s secrets and the mystery of OT5 made it seem more, at the time I felt I was getting life’s secrets, it was great. I was enthusiastic. Now having lived with being OT5 for 10 years or so and really not seeing any difference to before I got into Scientology it had lost its mystery maybe just maybe I was looking at it for what it really was, with out all the hype and philosophical mystery of the ages.
    I was hoping in this latest auditing to extinguish my little fire of curiosity and concern but all that happened is it grew in size.

    Months later this curiosity got the better of me and I decided I needed to clarify Scientology for myself. Sitting at work one day I over powered the law of Scientology to not surf internet sites relating to Scientology and googled L Ron Hubbard’s death.
    There it was the one piece of data that if I had known this I would have shown no interest in Scientology at all.
    L Ron Hubbard died from the effects of a STROKE he had days earlier.
    My mouth dropped open I could not believe my eyes. I was devastated I had been DECEIVED and LIED to all these years. I thought no wait I better make sure and get as much info on his death and sure enough there it was a copy of Hubbard’s death certificate confirming he died of a STROKE.
    Remember that little fire I had, well it was now a raging inferno.
    Why raging inferno you may ask, its quiet normal to die from a stroke after all Ron was in his seventies. But in this case its not and I will explain why shortly.
    Its been a while since I mentioned this raging inferno well with the next bit of info I found it became nuclear and the essence of Scientology( To go OT) melted away in front of me. I had closure.
    I found a video of the then relatively unknown David Miscavige announcing Ron’s death to the Scientology world. There is no denying this as internet lies or black pr it is David Miscavige talking on video; it’s concrete.
    This is an excerpt quote “He (Ron) has now moved on to his next OT, level of OT research. This level is beyond anything anyone of us ever imagined. This level is in fact done in an exterior state, meaning that is is done completely exterior from the body. At this level of OT the body is nothing more than an impediment and encumbrance to any further gain as an OT, thus, thus at 2000 hours Friday the 24th of January AD 36 L Ron Hubbard discarded the body he had used in this lifetime for 74 years 10 months and 11 days. The body he had used to facilitate his exsistence in this mest universe had ceased to be useful and in fact had become an impediment to the work he now must do outside of its confines. I (David Miscavige) felt it was important as Scientologists that you were the first to become aware of this fact. I can understand that many of you are probably experiencing the effects of a secondary, however it is important that you can put this into proper perspective. LRH defines a body in the Tech Dictionary as an identifying form or non identifying form to facilitate the control of the communication of and with and the havingness of the thetan in his existence in the mest universe. The body is a physical object it is not the being himself the being we knew as L Ron Hubbard still exists however the body he had could no longer serve his purposes. The decision was one made at complete cause by L Ron Hubbard. Although you may feel grief understand that he did not and does not now, he has simply moved onto his next step_______________________________”
    “The decision was one made at complete cause” Are you telling me that a stroke is complete cause. Anybody who has done a fair amount of study in Scientology will know that this is crap. Ron found the “Bridge to Total Freedom” what all cultures and religions over the centuries had been looking for and developed the OT levels where you become TOTAL CAUSE over life; yet he died from the effects of a stroke?
    If you disagree with the above paragraph then take a minute to think on what follows.
    David Miscavige has from this speech essentially made Ron out to be this super being, yet he died of a stroke and surely Ron could just say thanks guys here is my hat write up, as he would do. He would not use a via and bring on a stroke to die. God speed see you all on the other side and boom drop the body and move off as a spirit free to roam the universe. Imagine even if this was filmed; the validity it would give to Scientology would have been over whelming.
    David Miscavige knew that if this info got out there that Ron died of a stroke it would invalidate Scientology and create a lot of upset. There was much need to protect this idea of being able to achieve spiritual freedom through Scientology, millions were at stake.

    There is no doubt that Ron developed some really good tech but the essence of Scientology is to get you up to OT it does not matter how workable the lower Bridge may be. The true goal is OT and it is those upper levels that I am most concerned about.
    After all of this do you really think the upper Bridge OT levels are true and give you this ultimate cause over life? The circumstances of its founder’s death certainly don’t show this. Being OT5 myself, I don’t see it either and having been around many OT’s over the years I saw nothing special in them.
    You will see in Scientology successful OT’s talking about there wins and success in life. The thing is they were successful before they got into Scientology, you have to be to be able to pay those immense sums of money to be labeled OT.
    My mother who has been in Scientology for nearly 40 years did not even know that Ron died of a stroke and she ruthlessly defended the fact that he did not.
    The AO told me that it has never been a secret that Ron died of a stroke. So I replied saying fare enough so we both agree he died of a stroke and it is the truth so there should be no problem if I go around the Orgs or AO saying something like “pity Ron died of a stroke” and I would not get into any ethics trouble. I heard nothing back from the AO on that one. Curious!
    So in my opinion The Simplicity of Scientology today is it’s all about the money “Show me the Money”. What Scientology says you will achieve on those mysterious OT levels to me is simply NOT TRUE.
    If you disagree with me that’s okay, but the fact that you have read this means you have some doubts, upset or are curious and you know what, that’s OKAY. Keep looking until you feel comfortable for yourself and have answered all your questions with regards to Scientology and then make up your own mind as to its validity.

    To the OSA staff who now know who I am, as I am sure they do. You may think that this is an attack on Scientology but you could not be further from the truth. The one thing Scientology teaches but does not practice is freedom to communicate, communication solves all.
    While you are a Scientologist it is forbidden to talk intimately about Scientology or your concerns to fellow Scientologist and it has huge penalties. So once you finally get out you feel you should not speak out, scared by Scientology’s threats and your own experiences from being in Scientology, seeing how families are torn apart by things like this and how aggressive Scientology can get. This results in you bundling everything up, you feel you are being controlled by them even though you are out. Its not that you want to go and “natter”(bitch about it).Its about getting CLOSURE. That’s all it is, closure. For lack of a better example posting on the net and talking about your experiences is like lying down on a couch and letting it all out. You feel better. I want to be able to move on without getting angry at having been deceived and not achieving what was promised.
    It’s about turning a new leave and starting over and the blame is not on me or anybody else for talking about it, but on Scientology for its deceit.

    Thank you I feel better.
  2. DCAnon

    DCAnon Silver Meritorious Patron

    :O They even keep that a secret? I knew they don't talk about the drugs LRH had in his system when he died, but I didn't know they kept the stroke a secret too. Sheesh, the whole thing is built on lies and the second someone stops to ask questions, the house of cards comes down.
  3. sallydannce

    sallydannce Gold Meritorious Patron

    WOW! :goodposting: :thankyou:

    :welcome: Illegal Alien.

    Exactly! This should be framed!
  4. Free to shine

    Free to shine Shiny & Free

    What a great overview of Scientology!

    Thankyou for writing that, because you put it in a nutshell, and coming from someone who had achieved the stated aims of 'getting up the bridge' is all the more powerful a statement of the lies that are told. Welcome to ESMB! :thumbsup:
  5. FoTi

    FoTi Crusader

    Great post, Illegal Alien. :goodposting:

    :thankyou: Your post is much appreciated.
  6. Opter

    Opter Silver Meritorious Patron

    :welcome: Ilegal Alien

    GREAT POST.:thumbsup:

    In my opinion, Scientology is all about money.:yes: It is one huge CON.:omg:
    The good workable stuff was usually taken from other sources and they are used as the carrot to lure the herd.

  7. nozeno

    nozeno Gold Meritorious Patron

    If anyone considering scientology reads your story and ignores it, I say they deserve what they get.

    If I read your story or had the information that is available now on the internet and to some extent in the traditional media, I would have never wasted my time.
  8. apple

    apple Patron Meritorious

    This is well written and truthful. I would like to use it as a reference for people who ask what is Scientology.
  9. RolandRB

    RolandRB Rest in Peace

    Hi Illegal Alien. Welcome and thanks for your insights and your honesty.
  10. Tom of Helatrobus

    Tom of Helatrobus Patron Meritorious

    Thanks for the post! You make a good point that when you became convinced that Scientology was a fraud, this was the result of years of doubts - that LRH died of a stoke was just the straw that broke the camel's back.

    It was the same way with me. I saw out points everyday in the Sea Org and also when I left the Sea Org, but at some point the out points reach a "critical mass" (to use a scientific term) and the whole house of cards falls down.

    Waking up is hard to do. Congratulations!
  11. skollie

    skollie Silver Meritorious Patron

    Excellent post, Illegal Alien - Welcome! :welcome:
  12. Woggin' out

    Woggin' out Patron with Honors

    Great post Illegal Alien and thanks for your very own personal KR. It should be BPI to all the "churchies" still in!! :yes:
  13. ChronicEnturbulator

    ChronicEnturbulator Patron with Honors

    ...then, when they are confonted with this datum, they claim that is was for his allergies.

    Um? Question: even if Vistaril wasn't a psych drug (it is), isn't Ron supposed to be AT CAUSE over his own body's hystimine (allergic) reaction? Isn't he, himself, is supposed to be proof that Scientology works?
  14. degraded being

    degraded being Sponsor

    Very nicely written. I wish all the still-ins could read it.
  15. Penguin

    Penguin Patron

    Illegal Alien, I applaud you for being willing to ask questions and consider the facts of your own experiences and weighing that against the rhetoric.

    Thanks for sharing.
  16. lkwdblds

    lkwdblds Crusader

    You are someone special afterall

    Very good story Illegal Alien! With all the ups and downs which you had in your journey, you were able to keep your focus and land on your feet. One thing I noticed while reading your story is that you have a good mind and are able to sort out information well and express your thoughts very well.

    It seems as if you had wins on the lower bridge, got to OT 5 and thought that you were now special and far above the average person in knowledge and causation. You then began to doubt yourself and feel the special abilities were not real. After reading your story, I would say that you are a special person, not necessarily from going up to OT 5 but you are special and causative for seeing the state of your circumstances as they actually were, seeing through the lies and phoney PR which was present and taking the right steps to shed the source of the lies and give yourself a chance at a good life.

    I think you will find a lot of what you are looking for on this website.
  17. Tim Skog

    Tim Skog Silver Meritorious Patron

    Welome IA. Very good post.
  18. scooter

    scooter Gold Meritorious Patron

    :welcome: Illegal Alien - great post!

    Have OSA responded to your communication at all?
  19. xenusdad

    xenusdad Patron with Honors


    Great Story! Excellent! (rubs fingertips together and grins with an evil leer)
    I may copy it and send it to the local mission staff so that they too can get the benefits and experience the freedom that I now have.
    Thank you!
  20. FrankBooth

    FrankBooth Patron with Honors

    Thank you very much for your post. It echoes so much similarity to conclusions that many others have reached, and you are totally right on so many levels.

    It's both refreshing and depressing to see when an "OT" finally sees the smoke and mirrors. Refreshing that they've realized the whole thing is a sham, yet depressing that so much of good people's lives have been stolen away by a lie. When they could have been spending their well intentioned time and energy doing what Scientology originally promises by serving the planet, they are instead serving the personal whims of LRH, now COB, RTC.

    I don't want to derail the overall point of your post, which was excellent, but I would just like to say that, yes, there is doubt.

    Depending on how "lower" on the bridge you want to get, the concept of "people want to survive" and "if you don't know a word, look it up" are hardly groundbreaking "developments", but merely bullet points of common sense that Ron might have chosen to expound upon a little bit.

    That's one thing I never understood really. He had a lot of really shitty suggestions, be it about radiation or drug rehab, or you name it. But when you've got as much published junk out there as he does, sure, you're bound to hit on a few things that make sense to the average person. It's a matter of playing the odds. Hell, I make this post long enough, there will be loads of bullshit, but I'm sure you can pull one or two little nuggets of truth from it. That doesn't make me some sage, that just means I typed enough stuff to hit on a point or two that made sense.

    Look at Fundamentalist Christians. Same concept. The Bible contains some pretty good "tech", such as "don't kill people". Does it take the Bible to make me understand that killing people is wrong? Oh, and feel free to forget about the verses of the Bible that talk about stoning disobedient children to death....."Don't kill people" is no more earth shattering than "look up MU's".

    By the way, I didn't mean to get all long winded, but I had a sudden cog. The point being, cheers to your post and I'm glad you made it, as I said in the beginning, it echoes conclusions so many others have arrived at.