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Top 100 Stupid Moments in Scientology - PART 2

Discussion in 'Evaluating and Criticising Scientology' started by HelluvaHoax!, Jan 31, 2016.

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  1. AngeloV

    AngeloV Gold Meritorious Patron

    Idiotic idea. What if you have dozen's of 'BTs' who speak different languages? Are you supposed to teach them all English? The language spoken by the most people is Mandarin. Have any Chinese BTs?

    And don't forget the all important 'flow channel' that can get clogged up with 'reactions' of BTs bothered by MUs. LOL Here is the Old Quack pulling the most stupid ideas out of his butt.
  2. HelluvaHoax!

    HelluvaHoax! Platinum Meritorious Sponsor with bells on

    I was laughing at that....

    And then, suddenly I thought: "Wait, now I kind of think this is almost something Hubbard would say..."

    Then I thought: "No way, lololololo, wayyyy too stupid!"

    Then I kept reading and thought: "Godddddd, this is so Poe's law, I can't even tell if this is a sublimely funny parody or if it's real."

    Seriously, I couldn't tell.

    So, I did a quick Google search and found this LINK.

    That was a fantastic addition to the STUPID THREAD, really really really stupid and really really really true.
  3. uncover

    uncover Gold Meritorious Patron

    As the original poster of this nonsense, here my comment:

    I can tell you there is more of this stupidity:
    You want more of it ? Here you go:

    Oh, there are also rockslamming BT's with an evil purpose:

    And not to forget the "acid trip" BT's:

    For all of this I hold the opinion, that anybody who has read this nonsense and did not run away from Co$ immediately, must have a questionable frame of mind.

    Do you want more of this nonsense ? Here you can download all of this crap (for free):
    Last edited: Sep 11, 2016
  4. strativarius

    strativarius Inveterate gnashnab & snoutband

  5. Operating DB

    Operating DB Truman Show Dropout

    Just more reasons I'm glad I left the cult while I was still stuck at the bottom of the Bridge(TM).

    BT's - how ludicrous. And on top of that BT's supposedly manifesting PTS, rock slams, MU phenomena, et al.

    What languages did beings speak 75 millions years ago anyways let alone in eons earlier than that? Wouldn't a BT's native language cause problems when being addressed by an English speaking solo auditor? Oh, yeah. You're supposed to telepathically communicate with the BT. My head is spinning just trying to wrap my head around the insanity.

    Cuh-razy I tell ya'!
  6. HelluvaHoax!

    HelluvaHoax! Platinum Meritorious Sponsor with bells on





    My HTS triangle has now soared into unprecedented power trending upstatedness, on this planet!
  7. HelluvaHoax!

    HelluvaHoax! Platinum Meritorious Sponsor with bells on


    I never ran into that problem.

    All of my BTs were from Brooklyn[SUP]1[/SUP].

    [SUP]1[/SUP] Brooklyn - 1. (Brooklyn, New York) The most populous of New York's five boroughs. 2. (Brooklyn, Markabia) An over-populated, English speaking neighborhood of the Markabian Confederacy, 387 trillion years ago.
  8. Karen#1

    Karen#1 Gold Meritorious Patron


  9. Churchill

    Churchill Gold Meritorious Patron

    Wrong date; it was actually "tree hundred and toidy tree trillion ​years ago!
  10. uncover

    uncover Gold Meritorious Patron

    Including the "acid trips"-BT's ? Hows about the weedy-ones ? no "black afghan"-BT ? :coolwink:
    Last edited: Sep 11, 2016
  11. HelluvaHoax!

    HelluvaHoax! Platinum Meritorious Sponsor with bells on

    Top 100 Stupid Moments in Scientology


    Saint Hill Manor, East Grinstead, Sussex




    In certain rare instances, the PRE-OT can manifest the intention to blow Scientology and this can be traced back to overrestimulated BTs.

    Left unhandled, the BTs tend to cluster and begin making demands for a refund of money paid to the org. As this severely endangers the PRE-OT's eternity, it is imperative that this be detected and handled as soon as the situation begins to develop.

    Early diagnostic indicators which, if left unhandled, result in a refund demand are:




    When PRE-OTS complain about "not getting what I paid for" and other similar low toned dramatizations, it is really the BTs that are nattering. Find the BT and then thoroughly sec check them until they confess their crimes. If this does not resolve the complaints, run Grade 0-IV on them. This can take multiple intensives for the first several BTS being handled, costing the PRE-OT quite a fortune. However, this has the beneficial effects of raising the PRE-OT's necessity level--whereupon they will begin using intention to keep their nattering BTs quiet.

    Once the BTs have been thusly muzzled, the PRE-OT can continue their undistracted journey up the Bridge with all of the promised miraculous results!


    Last edited: Sep 12, 2016
  12. HelluvaHoax!

    HelluvaHoax! Platinum Meritorious Sponsor with bells on


    I didn't have any of those kind of BTs.

    However (per the book E-METER ESSENTIALS, chapter "E-Meter Oddities") I did have a Bantu BT[SUP]*[/SUP] who blew down and F/Ned (rather than Rockslammed) whenever asked the auditing question: "Would you rather just leave Scientology and get all your money back?"

    [SUP]*[/SUP] "A black South African's withholds read not only on the needle alone but on the Tone Arm sensitivity." - L. Ron Hubbard

  13. TheOriginalBigBlue

    TheOriginalBigBlue Gold Meritorious Patron

    In an earlier thread we had an extensive exchange over whether these types of letters were deliberate OSA or Ethics Officer attempts to gangstalk or a symptom of a general desperation and decline in civility within the ranks.

    On the face of it this strikes me as the latter. My impression is they are dispensing with the OCA rigmarole to define a person's "ruin" or weak spot and just going for the jugular with a shotgun approach.
  14. Cat's Squirrel

    Cat's Squirrel Gold Meritorious Patron

    Translation of that letter (i.e. what they actually mean) is;

    "We're not doing so good. We need you in here with your cheque book or credit card right away!"

    Gets easier with practice doesn't it.
  15. HelluvaHoax!

    HelluvaHoax! Platinum Meritorious Sponsor with bells on

    Dr. Hubbard states in his scientific scripture that "THE ESSENCE OF GOOD MANAGEMENT IS CARING!"

    One wonders why the Church of Scientology does not care more for its Celebrities, to wit:

    Dear Kirstie,

    You are not doing so good.

    Your former status as a TV and MOVIE STAR has shattered and now you are reduced to a broken marriage, string of failed relationships, photos of you giving the finger, vicious tweet attacks against anyone who doesn't agree with Ron Hubbard and no TV or MOVIE roles.

    Let's face it, you don't look so happy either. Honestly, your dynamics are super sucky shit, right?

    You'd better get in here right away!


    Jesse Brinker
    Celebrity Centre International

    ps: Kirstie, I want to share one other unprecedented 4th dynamic Win! COB recently completed a full review of the 16 million words LRH spoke/wrote and found a missing comma and a period that should have been a semi-colon. This is a mind-blowing game changer. For the first time ever, pcs are really making it to Clear and full Operating Thetan! The entire MEST universe theta/mest ratio has reversed, so get your fat ass in here!
    Last edited: Sep 12, 2016
  16. HelluvaHoax!

    HelluvaHoax! Platinum Meritorious Sponsor with bells on


    Believe it or not, this very closely parallels the exact LRH policies (1950s - 1960s) on "HOW TO HANDLE THE PUBLIC INDIVIDUAL" and other marketing memos. In the broadest sense, it also mirrors the DISSEMINATION FORMULA "ruin finding". The net result of such policies was brutally alarming, scaring or terrorizing the PC into buying their next level. Or else!

    Anyone who remembers which policies support hard sell and literally telling the person what awful shape they are in can post the links.

    I remember that policy being used extensively at Flag. Once when I didn't have immediate funds to buy a bunch more intensives on OT V or OT VII (review), I was told in a D of P interview that if I didn't find a way (e.g. borrow, et al) to get the money now: "YOU ARE NOT GOING TO MAKE IT!".

    Death sentence!

    It was a grim and hideous cult moment, one of the "top 3" that lead me (the always loyal and friendly customer) to deeply resent and leave that avaricious amoral cult.


    EDIT: The colloquial idiom "NOT GOING TO MAKE IT" has a very specific meaning in Scientology. It means you will not achieve the state of OT. Therefore, you will be subjected to reactive impulses, implants, dramatizations, suppression, dwindling spirals and all other manner of "traps" to destroy your life. Furthermore, if one does not achieve "full OT", you will be the "adverse effect" of intergalactic wars and spiritual terror and pain--forever. Think "hell", but 10 million[SUP]1 [/SUP]times worse.

    [SUP]1[/SUP] 10 million : All numbers in Scientology are always power stats of gargantuan orders of unprecedented magnitude.
    Last edited: Sep 12, 2016
  17. HelluvaHoax!

    HelluvaHoax! Platinum Meritorious Sponsor with bells on



    Priceless translation!

    I want to try that TranslationTech[SUP]tm[/SUP] on the time a Flag senior tech terminal told me: "You won't make it!"

    SENIOR C/S (via D of P) SAYS: You won't make it!

    TRANSLATION: I (Senior C/S) didn't make it. Ron didn't make it. No Scientologist in 66 years has made it. We're all kind of hoping you will be the first one.
    Last edited: Sep 12, 2016
  18. TheOriginalBigBlue

    TheOriginalBigBlue Gold Meritorious Patron

    Yes, I am aware of "How to handle the Public individual" and "Finding the Ruin". But even though the idea was to rub a person's nose in their deficiencies so Scientology could be held up as the solution, it seems to me that LRH as least wanted it done with enough tact to pass it off without causing suspicion that it was a con. That is why they drilled Div. 6 people to do the OCAs and find the ruin with great diligence, its why they have D of Ps (Director of Processing), its why there are policies on how to write letters to the CF, etc. Boy, I'm dating myself here. Its like, screw all that - "Give me the c c c c Cash!"
  19. guanoloco

    guanoloco As-Wased

  20. Mimsey Borogrove

    Mimsey Borogrove Crusader

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