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Top 100 Stupid Moments in Scientology - PART 3

Discussion in 'Evaluating and Criticising Scientology' started by HelluvaHoax!, Sep 13, 2016.

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  1. ILove2Lurk

    ILove2Lurk Lisbeth Salander

    HH speaks sooth.

    Looking through my extensive (heretical) photographic archives, I ran across this
    hitherto unrevealed photo of Don Hubbard sitting at a desk on the main deck of
    the Apollo in 1967, probably writing some of the same issues you're speaking
    about here. I think this particular photo was taken in a moment when Don was
    delivering a 50-gallon drum of unbridled rage at Captain Bill Robertson (out of
    frame). Don had a worse temper than his brother, if you can believe it.

    Notice the display of medallions in the background. Hmmm?

  2. ILove2Lurk

    ILove2Lurk Lisbeth Salander

    . . .
    Don Hubbard could be a dour sort of fellow, copping an angry
    attitude during one of the few family photos I've found in my
    archives. This one goes way back . . . the early days. Don
    was still rather svelte then.

    Last edited: Apr 14, 2017
  3. ILove2Lurk

    ILove2Lurk Lisbeth Salander

    . . .
    Imagine this . . . a newly lurking Scio comes to the ESMB after many hours
    of soul searching and moments of personal paranoia, only to learn about
    the hitherto hidden wife Sarah and daughter Alexis, then, oh my god, he
    sees a bunch of photos of the "erased" son Nibs.

    And if that wasn't enough of a mind-f**k, he sees all the documentation
    on this thread about LRH's brother Don, who he learns possibly did much
    of the heavy lifting over the years before he was dishonorably vanquished

    Whew!! :omg:

    PS: Don had put on a few more stone
    of heft by the Ls years, looks like.
  4. HelluvaHoax!

    HelluvaHoax! Platinum Meritorious Sponsor with bells on


    Laughed so suddenly on that one that no sound actually came out--'till I finally caught my breath. I could use more of those moments every week, Thx!
  5. HelluvaHoax!

    HelluvaHoax! Platinum Meritorious Sponsor with bells on


    Three hilarious shoops in one day, you're killin' me! LOVE IT!
  6. HelluvaHoax!

    HelluvaHoax! Platinum Meritorious Sponsor with bells on

    Top 100 Stupid Moments in Scientology

    . . .

    The following is an actual PROMO PIECE (ca 1966) from the Apollo Flagship, based on a bright idea by then Senior C/S Int'l Don Hubbard on how to flood paying public onto the ship.

    After the unauthorized promo was bulk-mailed out to all CF names, Don (the twin brother of Ron Hubbard) was summoned before a COM EV, whereupon he was accused of a committing a long list of "High Crimes" intended to sabotage Ron's Sector Salvaging. This lead to Don being declared and chain-lockered for over 3 years, until he ultimately escaped.


    READERS NOTE: Don appears much thinner in the above photo than other photos (e.g. see avatar) typically depict. When asked about the discrepancy, Don r-factored us that during that period of time he was doing extensive tech research, including a research project on how well OTs would do on an all-liquid diet.
    Last edited: Apr 14, 2017
  7. HelluvaHoax!

    HelluvaHoax! Platinum Meritorious Sponsor with bells on


    When is F/N, Cognition, VGIs not the
    end phenomena of an auditing process?

    That's a tough one, right? Need a hint? Sure, we can help with that. . .

    When does an auditor not indicate
    the PC's floating needle, even though they
    are VGIs and just voiced a life-changing cognition?

    Still stumped? I am picking up that you really would like to CSW for another clue, right? No problem, here you go. . .

    When does having VGIs and
    a big cognition with a big floating needle
    result in the auditor refusing to indicate your F/N
    but, instead routing you straight to Ethics?

    These Scientology Koans are so freakin' hard to figure out--they kind of totally suck dormant BT dick, don't they? LOL.

    Alright, I am not supposed to do this's the answer:

    ANSWER: When the cognition is not theta (i.e. neither up-stat nor up-tone)

    EXAMPLE: The cognition: "Hey! I just realized that Ron's exteriorization tech doesn't work!"

    EXPLANATION: There are standard and non-standard cognitions. PCs who desire to have their F/N indicated, receive a jumbo certificate and be validated with wild applause (not to mention being surrounded by OTs who wildly grin while "flowing power" to them) can only do so by voicing a cognition that is found in the HSBOATASC (Hubbard Sacred Book of Acceptably True And Standard Cognitions).

    ADVANCED (CONFIDENTIAL) BRIEFING: There are 10 million approved and standard cognitions in the published HSBOATASC. Nominated cogs are accepted or rejected on the basis of whether they AGREE or DISAGREE with Hubbard's and Scientology's scientifically proven self-evident truths. PC's trying to force or trick non-standard cognitions into a standard auditing session are therefore squirreling Ron's technology, which immediately becomes a serious ethics matter. Aside from enturbulating the auditor, case supervisor and rest of the org's Scientologists, a non-standard cognition can spread toxic disagreement like a lethal virus on this planet. Considering that "reality is agreement", the very existence of the physical universe and all life itself is therefore vitally dependent on eradicating dis-agreement.

    END OF PART I: To be continued. . . ​

  8. Operating DB

    Operating DB Truman Show Dropout

    Last edited: Apr 15, 2017
  9. HelluvaHoax!

    HelluvaHoax! Platinum Meritorious Sponsor with bells on

    :hysterical: was a real moment of indecision whether I was going to post that catchy little analogous exclamatory flourish. It was then that I thought to myself: "So, it's come down to this?! Funky dick jokes on a cult survivor website?" LOL

    But it was making me laugh too--and I was thinking: "Hey, wtf, why not?" Thus, I took the wholetrack idiotic idiom less traveled. And that has made all the difference.
  10. Jump

    Jump Operating teatime

    Well, if DM was the CS and YSBTCOHB the EP may have been VVGI and FN

    :screwy: :biggrin:
  11. HelluvaHoax!

    HelluvaHoax! Platinum Meritorious Sponsor with bells on


    Over 10 billion people have lived during the past 100 years and yet not even one (1) of them could demonstrate exterior. Like "Big Foot", it only happens when nobody is looking.

    Ironically, in the case of Hubbard's claims of "exterior", the concept of "nobody is looking" applies to both scientific observers AND the person claiming they are exterior. They apparently aren't looking either--because they can't even tell you how many fingers you are holding up just 3 feet behind their "exteriorized" thetan's head.

    And now we are proud to present the legend of SASQUATCH vs the legend of our dear exteriorized COMMODORE.





  12. Karen#1

    Karen#1 Gold Meritorious Patron

    Traditionally, a Chaplain is supposed to be a gentle soul, a soul that can mediate and offer support, compassion and understanding.
    So it is interesting to read the tone and accusations here....

  13. Jump

    Jump Operating teatime

    What's the dealio?

    Like - I realised who has crimes and overts by the [STRIKE]Freewindload[/STRIKE] boatload.


  14. tesseract

    tesseract Patron with Horrors



    Attached Files:

  15. Knows

    Knows Gold Meritorious Patron

    I could not resist. I ask HH to please put together an Easter Card from the Church of Scientology - celebrating that Jesus Christ, the only begotten son of God, was crucified on the cross, died and rose again.




    Here is the Christmas Card - where Scientology invites you to celebrate the BIRTH OF JESUS CHRIST.


  16. HelluvaHoax!

    HelluvaHoax! Platinum Meritorious Sponsor with bells on


    Wait! If I take my old Xmas "Shore Story vs Reality" card (above) and change just one word....

    Celebrating the holy birth of our savior Jesus Christ.

    Celebrating the holy re-birth of our savior Jesus Christ.​

    ...then it's good to go as an Easter card, right? LOL (Hoaxologists are lazy bastards, ain't they?)
  17. Knows

    Knows Gold Meritorious Patron

    Well, I was hoping for a bit more HH.

    I was told Jesus was PTS and never handled his Suppression cuz he did not have the "tech" :whistling:- (this came from a Staff member)

    On some level - it sort of made sense to me...this was in my beginning - after sufficient "love bombing" had taken place.

    Seriously - I was hoping for a shooped card with Easter Bunnies, colored /dyed eggs and chocolate...jelly beans and more chocolate

    Of course, candy and bunnies have nothing to do with Jesus getting beaten and flogged - then hung on cross - nails driven through his hands and feet - a sword thrust into his side....left to suffer and "drop his body".

    Jesus suffered for 3 days ...died - and his body was stuffed in a tomb and on the 3rd day - Jesus went OT and poofed his body - it disappeared.

    Jesus rose again....and is seated along with the Father and the Holy Ghost.

    And this all was completed so God could forgive our O/W's.....cuz without his son getting beaten and hung - he just could not pull that off....

    I am poking at the shore story for both "religions"

    If you ever have the chutzpah to do a Scientology Easter card - it would be really theta! :)
  18. HelluvaHoax!

    HelluvaHoax! Platinum Meritorious Sponsor with bells on

    Top 100 Stupid MESSIANIC Moments in Scientology


    Apologies for missing the Easter deadline. . .

    In order to make up the damage, I hereby petition for re-entry to the group by submitting an amends project to make up the damage, as follows:

    1) By contributing the following priceless LRH quote, where he highly commended Jesus' case state. LINK

    "Jesus was just a shade above Clear"

    2) Helping salvage this sector by providing the following graphic, in order to ensure mankind avoids "missing mass phenomena" on this planet:


  19. HelluvaHoax!

    HelluvaHoax! Platinum Meritorious Sponsor with bells on

    Top 100 Stupid Moments in Scientology


    "Jesus was just a shade above Clear."

    - Ron Hubbard

    "Ron was just a shade below Shady."
    - Don Hubbard[SUP]1[/SUP]

    [SUP]1 [/SUP]Don Hubbard (estranged and declared twin brother of Ron Hubbard) is the Founder of the Church of Hoaxology. Before blowing, Don was the first Scientologist to attain the state of OH (Operating Hobo; see avatar).
  20. Knows

    Knows Gold Meritorious Patron


    On behalf of the Captain at Flag - we would like to wish you a very Happy Easter. We are offering 50% off our PTS / SP tech course for a limited time. Just think - if Jesus had the tech - you would have to pay us to forgive your sins...uh - I mean - well, never mind.:carryon:

    Happy fucking Easter.
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