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Top 100 Stupid Moments in Scientology - PART 3

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HelluvaHoax!

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A
NNOUNCING A NEW FEATURE
ON THE STUPID THREAD!


But first, we must acknowledge and give grateful thanks to the legal system for the wonderful time saving concept known as "Res ipsa Loquitur"; Latin for "The thing speaks for itself".

It describes one of those rare litigation moments where no further proof is needed to establish that injury (and therefore liability) has occurred. Example: Following abdominal surgery the patient suffers sharp pains for the next two years. An x-ray confirms that a surgical scalpel was left inside the patient's body. Negligence does not have to be proved because the x-ray speaks for itself.

So, now, without further (a-Be) a-Do (and a-Have) we proudly present:

Stupidus Scientolorum Loquitur Propter Se
"The Scientology Stupid Speaks For Itself"
(TSSSFI)

We are now accepting nominations the greatest TSSSFI moments in Hubbardian history. Specifically, GRAPHIC EVIDENCE (photos, promo, et al--that says it all without words) where the Stupid (of Scientology's Bridge to Total Freedom) speaks for itself. Naturally, since it's the Stupid Thread, you can break the stupid contest rules and add words, LOL.

Just to get warmed up a little, I'll nominate a classic one from the archives of Total Freedom:


STUPIDUS SCIENTOLORUM LOQUITUR PROPTER SE
5aa56a1d-76f4-4a92-ac81-0e1473791ece_zpskp6cy9pa.png

"The Scientology Stupid Speaks For Itself"
 

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Top 100 Stupid GRAPHICS in Scientology

..

And now a very special nomination--my very favorite TSSSFI graphic!


Stupidus Scientolorum Loquitur Propter Se

Milestone.jpg


"The Scientology Stupid Speaks For Itself"


Readers' Note: The Judging Panel was particularly delighted with this nomination because the euphoric celebrants have no slightest idea that:

--The "ideal org" building is not "ours". It's "his" (COB).

--Even though they bought it they will still have to pay to lease it.

--Because of this huge unprecedented 4th Dynamic Win, their 1st Dynamic will soon be needing to retain the unprecedented services of a bankruptcy lawyer.

--The $10,000,000 in donations to buy the building is the bait. The switch is they still need another $10,000,000 to remodel & furnish it.

--While all this frantically fanatical fundraising has been going on for years, the exhilarated donors in the photo have forgotten why they originally came into Scientology (to go spiritually free with supernatural powers). Now they are unknowingly in the real estate business where they are making zero spiritual gain and their partner (COB) takes 100% of all the financial gain.

--All of this frenzied financial folly serves another vital purpose. To ensure that all those rapturous Scientologists have been effectively misdirected away from the simple fact that their previous decades of dedication, donations, drama & drudgery did not result in ANY of the Clear or OT abilities that Hubbard promised them.
 

uncover

Gold Meritorious Patron
.....
Just to get warmed up a little, I'll nominate a classic one from the archives of Total Freedom:


STUPIDUS SCIENTOLORUM LOQUITUR PROPTER SE
5aa56a1d-76f4-4a92-ac81-0e1473791ece_zpskp6cy9pa.png

"The Scientology Stupid Speaks For Itself"
I think the biggest stupidity is that they are wearing this idiotic caps. If in this situation a blast of air appears, they have no free hand to catch their caps. So they can jump overboard to collect their caps or they will be the next ones to be overboarded for the loss of their idiotic caps. But what do you expect else from failed hippies who need a guru to organize their lifes ?
 

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Top 100 Stupid BRIGHT IDEAS in Scientology

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5aa56a1d-76f4-4a92-ac81-0e1473791ece_zpskp6cy9pa.png


I think the biggest stupidity is that they are wearing this idiotic caps. If in this situation a blast of air appears, they have no free hand to catch their caps. So they can jump overboard to collect their caps or they will be the next ones to be overboarded for the loss of their idiotic caps. But what do you expect else from failed hippies who need a guru to organize their lifes ?


:hysterical:

Yes, the Commodore was DevT'd with so many reports of Admirals's caps being blown overboard that he decided to do a massive data-series WHY FINDING evaluation.

Dr. Hubbard's "WHY" and "HANDLING" and "BRIGHT IDEA" resulted in the policy to thereafter only recruit small children into the Sea Org, so the wind would be blocked--because their height did not exceed the top of the deck's railing wall.


navy-admiral-costume-496.jpg


S.O. SECTOR SALVAGER
little body
big being
hugely irresponsible parents​
 
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Gizmo

Rabble Rouser
This IS a quiz :

What was the age of the youngest SO member ?

Note to scientologists :
reread the sentence : it did NOT say take out your member and whiz.

Oh, just go M9 it to the stars.
 

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That previous post reminds me. . .

BUT FIRST GET OUT YOUR SELF-ANALYSIS PERCEPTIC WHEEL. . .

Remember when there was a flood of young kids onto serious executive S.O. posts?


5769d04f-efab-43b2-b3b0-e68e0dcca4dc_zpsitjdlkzm.jpg


Yeah, I remember it really well.

All of us on staff were ordered to star-rate, clay demo and pass the drill on the "HOW TO PUT AN MAA INTO A CAR SEAT".
 

JustSheila

Crusader
PeopleSO.jpg


"We're just a church like any other church."

To be fair, church fashions change. In keeping with the high popularity of current zombie and vampire television series, the church of scamthemnowlogy has streamlined and upgraded their church image accordingly:

Org-fashions-gallery.jpg



With that dedicated glare, the Very Adequate Mindless Pawns (VAMPs) flash blood red against deathly black. A full length black cloak with entire red lining is provided for blood-sucking reges. Just a church, like any other church, inspiring others with fear of death, damnation, hell and other dark images.

Such dedication. A billion years to prey on others.

Vamp-07.jpg


"Tell my wife I sucked till the end." (scene and quote from the movie, 'Vamp')
 

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Dave B.

Maximus Ultimus Mostimus
"...the exhilarated donors in the photo have forgotten why they originally came into Scientology (to go spiritually free with supernatural powers). Now they are unknowingly in the real estate business where they are making zero spiritual gain and their partner (COB) takes 100% of all the financial gain."


It's child's play to mislead $cientology cult members. It's sad. Well-intentioned but delusional people who want that feeling that THEY are helping mankind but are actually being misled and vilely used by the criminal Miscavage.
 

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Top 100 Stupid HELMET MOMENTS in Scientology

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PeopleSO.jpg


"We're just a church like any other church."​



:hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical:


I've got really, really, really bad news for anyone who still thinks Scientology is not a cult:

1. LOOK AT THE WHITE HELMETS & JUMPSUITS IN THE BLACK & WHITE PHOTO ABOVE. (taken ca 1969 at the "Advanced Organization of Los Angeles", where the super confidential OT levels were first delivered in the USA)

2. LOOK AT AND COMPARE THAT TO THE WHITE HELMETS & JUMPSUITS IN THE 2 BOOK COVERS BELOW.

3. CLAY DEMO "WHAT'S IN THE BOX?" IN THE 'EVOLUTION OF A SCIENCE' GRAPHIC.




7f29481d-d6cd-4c1d-a32c-053a83105043_zpsdnged4cz.jpg





6baade62-92ce-47fc-84fa-f5ec10dcb50c_zps3a51bari.jpg







[video=youtube;kLDhMU5JvMk]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kLDhMU5JvMk&ab_channel=CentralMarkup[/video]​

.
 
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JustSheila

Crusader
Re: Top 100 Stupid HELMET MOMENTS in Scientology

.





:hysterical::hysterical::hysterical: :hysterical::hysterical:


I've got really, really, really bad news for anyone who still thinks Scientology is not a cult:

1. LOOK AT THE WHITE HELMETS & JUMPSUITS IN THE BLACK & WHITE PHOTO ABOVE. (taken ca 1969 at the "Advanced Organization of Los Angeles", where the super confidential OT levels were first delivered in the USA)

2. LOOK AT AND COMPARE THAT TO THE WHITE HELMETS & JUMPSUITS IN THE 2 BOOK COVERS BELOW.

3. CLAY DEMO "WHAT'S IN THE BOX" IN THE 'EVOLUTION OF A SCIENCE' GRAPHIC.




7f29481d-d6cd-4c1d-a32c-053a83105043_zpsdnged4cz.jpg





6baade62-92ce-47fc-84fa-f5ec10dcb50c_zps3a51bari.jpg







[video=youtube;kLDhMU5JvMk]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kLDhMU5JvMk&ab_channel=CentralMarkup[/video]​

:hysterical::hysterical::hysterical: :hysterical::hysterical:

OMG HH, I never noticed they wore the same stupid spacesuits on the book covers! hahahahahahahaha!

The first time I saw the pic of the AOLA original uniforms I was in the SO and STILL couldn't stop laughing. Over the years, I ran into quite a few old-timers who were actually WAITING FOR THE SPACESHIP, convinced that L Ron was going to fly them off to the stars. I kid you not. :omg:
 

uncover

Gold Meritorious Patron
Re: Top 100 Stupid HELMET MOMENTS in Scientology

.....
2. LOOK AT AND COMPARE THAT TO THE WHITE HELMETS & JUMPSUITS IN THE 2 BOOK COVERS BELOW.

3. CLAY DEMO "WHAT'S IN THE BOX" IN THE 'EVOLUTION OF A SCIENCE' GRAPHIC.


6baade62-92ce-47fc-84fa-f5ec10dcb50c_zps3a51bari.jpg


So I did as you ordered and I came to the conclusion:

"Frozen Thetans with glykol in their lungs which will be transported with DC-8-like space-ships to Tegeeack for the big meltdown party".

But while doing the clay I became a little bit confused:
Frozen "thetans" with glycol in their lungs (thetans don't have lungs, per definition they don´t even have mass, [energy, space, time]:

THETAN, .... 2 . the awareness of awareness unit which has all potentialities but no mass, no wave-length and no location. (HCOB 3 Jul 59) .... 4 . (spirit) is described in Scn as having no mass, no wave-length, no energy and no time or location in space except by consideration or postulate. The spirit is not a thing. It is the creator of things. (FOT, p. 55) ..... 8 . in the final analysis what is this thing called thetan? It is simply you before you mocked yourself up and that is the handiest definition I know of. (5608C——) ..... 10. a static that can consider, and can produce space and energy and objects . (PXL, p . 121 )

STATIC, 1 . a static is something without mass, without wavelength, without time, and actually without position. That’s a static and that is the definition of zero. (5410CM06) ..... 3 . an actuality of no mass, no wave-length, no position in space or relation in time, but with the quality of creating or destroying mass or energy, locating itself or creating space, and of re-relating time. (Dn 55!, p. 29) ....
So how do you want to freeze something which doesn't have mass or a location in space ?

Then there were the H-bombs placed at volcanoes which didn´t even exist at the time of big meltdown party:
http://www.xenu.net/archive/ot/peter_forde.html
 

HelluvaHoax!

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Re: Top 100 Stupid HELMET MOMENTS in Scientology

:hysterical::hysterical::hysterical: :hysterical::hysterical:

OMG HH, I never noticed they wore the same stupid spacesuits on the book covers! hahahahahahahaha!

The first time I saw the pic of the AOLA original uniforms I was in the SO and STILL couldn't stop laughing. Over the years, I ran into quite a few old-timers who were actually WAITING FOR THE SPACESHIP, convinced that L Ron was going to fly them off to the stars. I kid you not. :omg:


:hysterical:


I have been having considerable case difficulty ever since you posted that 1969 photo of the space-suited sector salvagers.

I've got major stuck attention on two things about that photo. . .


AOLA_zpsdqx8frnn.jpg


1. WTF!???!!!!!???


2. I had no idea she was once in the Sea Org! Was that before or after the release of "COLOR ME BARBARA?"
 

uncover

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Over the years, I ran into quite a few old-timers who were actually WAITING FOR THE SPACESHIP, convinced that L Ron was going to fly them off to the stars. I kid you not.
omg.gif
Oh yes...... But there is no reason to be afraid of the "white helmets" anymore. Yes, a few are in aleppo (syria) but the rest are - since more than six years - in the space org of "Mothar":

17gnmbbse356wjpg.jpg
 
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Anonycat

Crusader
Re: Top 100 Stupid HELMET MOMENTS in Scientology


So I did as you ordered and I came to the conclusion:

"Frozen Thetans with glykol in their lungs which will be transported with DC-8-like space-ships to Tegeeack for the big meltdown party".

But while doing the clay I became a little bit confused:

That wacky Hubbard! He constantly contradicted himself. He claimed that a body lost - I think it was 3 ounces or 3.5 or whatever - when a person died, and the loss of weight was due to the thetan leaving the body. Interesting research, right? LOL!

About the Xenu sci-fi, I understood it to be that the injections directed by Xenu were to "freeze" the thetan inside the body, so it was trapped in the body, and could not leave the corpse. Then the billions of bodies were transported here and into the volcanoes, blown-up, collected, and brainwashed. Worst. Sci-fi. Ever.

Wait, I just thought of something. Hubbard should have recreated the magnetic thetan catchers used 75 million years ago, to wrangle BTs! Stick them into a soul theater, just like the ones that they got brainwashed in, make them watch a good movie for a month, and suddenly, those billions of BTs are recovered to their original potential. No need for scientology at all!
 

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Re: Top 100 Stupid HELMET MOMENTS in Scientology

..
--snipped--

About the Xenu sci-fi, I understood it to be that the injections directed by Xenu were to "freeze" the thetan inside the body, so it was trapped in the body, and could not leave the corpse.

Then the billions of bodies were transported here
and into the volcanoes, blown-up, collected, and brainwashed. Worst. Sci-fi. Ever.


But, if that's true, then "WHAT'S IN THE BOX?" LOL

I mean, check out the size of the transport box...

6baade62-92ce-47fc-84fa-f5ec10dcb50c_zps3a51bari.jpg


So, then, you're saying what?

That the aliens were really tiny enough to fit in that box?

Or, are you going to try to start claiming that these aren't actual photographs taken at the time?

Don't even go there.







 

uncover

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Re: Top 100 Stupid HELMET MOMENTS in Scientology

.....
About the Xenu sci-fi, I understood it to be that the injections directed by Xenu were to "freeze" the thetan inside the body, so it was trapped in the body, and could not leave the corpse. Then the billions of bodies were transported here and into the volcanoes, blown-up, collected, and brainwashed.
......
Thats nonsene. Listen carefully to Cl-VIII-tape 6810C03 with the title “Assists”:
El Con Hubbard said:
.....
The trick was to shoot somebody, disable somebody, very often a needle into a lung, and at the same time to hit him with frozen alcohol and glycol, which preparation is guaranteed TO PICK UP A THETAN. All they had to do was PICK HIM UP (rem.: the thetan, a “nothing”) and put him into a refrigerator, and they had him boy. Because if he tried to exteriorize from the body, there he was frozen. And they threw him into collection points. Boxed them up in boxes, threw them into space planes, which are the exact copies – DC8’s, the DC8 airplane is the exact copy of the space plane of that day. No difference. Except the DC8 had fans, propellers on it and the space plane didn’t.
.....

When you look at the “restimulative” cover of “Dianetics – Evolution of a science” there you can see they are carrying boxes with ice-blocks of frozen thetans, and NOT frozen people.

So they bring these ice-blocks with frozen “nothings” to earth, place them near volcanoes which didn´t exist at this time throw atomic bombs in the volcanoes, for what ? To unfreeze the frozen “nothings” ? To catch the unfrozen “nothings” later with electronic ribbon bands ?…..

..
.....
But, if that's true, then "WHAT'S IN THE BOX?" LOL

I mean, check out the size of the transport box...
Exactly... There is no reason why the bodies of the victims should be smaller than the bodies of those who are carrying the boxes:
El Con Hubbard said:
....
And then troops,….., were fed in against the POPULATION ……
And when they were using DC-8 like planes than the size of the bodies must have been like that of humans….. oh yes, for ages they were driving cars, wearing clothes etc. like in the 50’s….. no progress there. From the same tape:

El Con Hubbard said:
….PEOPLE at that particular time and place were walking around in clothes which looked very remarkably like the clothes they wear this very minute. And the cars they drove looked exactly the same, and the trains they ran looked the same, and the boats they had looked the same. Circa 1950, 1960.
.....
So if they were wearing clothes like in the 50’s/60’s they must have been the same size – otherwise they wouldn´t be "the same".

And he is talking about PEOPLE and over-POPULATION, not about dinosaurs, creatures or aliens.

BTW, since when dinosaurs were paying income tax ?:

El Con Hubbard said:
.....
One of the mechanisms they used was to tell them to come in for an INCOME TAX investigation.
.....

Look, all this Hubbard-nonsense is only the vomit of a totally stoned, insane druggie.
 

Anonycat

Crusader
Re: Top 100 Stupid HELMET MOMENTS in Scientology

..



But, if that's true, then "WHAT'S IN THE BOX?" LOL

I mean, check out the size of the transport box...

6baade62-92ce-47fc-84fa-f5ec10dcb50c_zps3a51bari.jpg


So, then, you're saying what?

That the aliens were really tiny enough to fit in that box?

Or, are you going to try to start claiming that these aren't actual photographs taken at the time?

Don't even go there.








Hubbard was quite meticulous with directing the art for the book covers. He knew that just 150 years ago, the average person was 4 inches (about 10 centimeters) shorter than they are today. 75 million years ago, people in that sector of the galaxy were also shorter. It could also be provisions for the hundreds of millions of staff persons, including pilots, ribbon builders, thetan theater builders, cooks, bomb handlers, medical staff (Medicos!), sanitation personnel, mechanics, builders of the homes to staff the hundreds of millions of staff, and so on. I suspect it was beans, rice, and vodka. It took decades to bring the billions in for the fake tax audits, and it was chaos - people had to take the jobs that the missing billions left behind, causing total dysfunction in everything. After the decades of injecting people and stuffing their rotting bodies into boxes, you're going to want to have a few drinks once you get to the volcanoes.
 
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