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Top 100 Stupid Moments in Scientology PART 4

Discussion in 'Evaluating and Criticising Scientology' started by HelluvaHoax!, Apr 25, 2017.

  1. Type4_PTS

    Type4_PTS Diamond Invictus SP

    After spending many years of my life working for Scientology, believing I was working for a benevolent organization, when I began to see the true nature of the organization I had been helping - - this was the most difficult thing in my life to confront. That was MY wall of fire.

    I suspect that for some who are still in that they're still in because they're unable to confront the truth, just as I was. Even after I was out it took me years to see who they really are.

    I suspect that once society sees them AS-IS they'll quickly vanish.
    FoTi and RogerB like this.
  2. Tanchi

    Tanchi Patron with Honors

  3. Tanchi

    Tanchi Patron with Honors

    I screwed this up again!! Its why I rarely post, lol
  4. RogerB

    RogerB Crusader

    Tanchi . . . keep practicing, you'll get it . . . your posts are worth the effort.

    The trick is to simply hit "+ Quote" at the bottom right of the post you want to cite then,
    In your reply, once your cursor is flashing where you want to insert the quote, look to the bottom left and hit "Insert Quotes" . . . then,
    be sure your cursor is below and outside of the inserted quote . . . and start typing.
  5. I told you I was trouble

    I told you I was trouble Suspended animation

    In addition to the above info, if you get trapped inside the post you are quoting/replying to and can't get out (it happens all the time) ... go into 'BB code Editor'' by hitting the icon that is on the top line, over to the right (above) ... directly above these pointers ^^^

    That will allow you to bring your cursor out of the quote ... and then you can hit 'Use Rich Text Editor' to come out of it again (it will appear at the bottom left of this box).

    It's the only way I know of to escape the quote once trapped inside it.
  6. guanoloco

    guanoloco As-Wased

    You can always fire up the ESMB mimeograph and telex and post away. Emma keeps those in the back room under HCO lock and key.
  7. HelluvaHoax!

    HelluvaHoax! Platinum Meritorious Sponsor with bells on

    ANSWER: Like all good OTs (Operating Trolls), Alanzo dutifully went up the Troll Grade Chart and achieved the miraculous state of Total Trolldom.


    START: Degraded being (homo sapiens) seeking to achieve homo novis, joins Scientology​
    and promptly begins attacking the reactive mind--the source of all their problems & suffering.​

    CHANGE: Despite exhausting self and finances, DB is not able not able to attain any of the miraculous​
    states/powers Hubbard scientifically guaranteed, cult convinces DB that they can still achieve paradise​
    on earth (and in the hereafter) by attacking the hidden SPs preventing Scientology from working on this​
    planet. Thus, the DB now promptly begins taking responsibility and attacking the final barrier to OT---​
    the cult's lack of money to complete vital sector-salvaging targets such as:​
    -- build Ideal Orgs​
    -- fund the IAS' fair game ops​
    -- run Super Bowl ads​
    -- put Ron's books in every library around the world​
    -- flood the planet with TWTH booklets​
    -- fund planetary dissemination campaigns​
    -- build Sea Org reserves into billions of dollars in preparation of legal Armageddon​
    safeguard the miraculous scripture inside nuclear-bomb-proof underground vaults.​

    STOP: DB tries all of the above and miserably fails. DB blows. Cult leverages and exploits​
    DBs new ruin---being a dead-broke, middle-aged, unemployed/unemployable expert in​
    all things. Out of sheer financial desperation, stupidity and a predisposition to atttack​
    anything the cult tells them to attack---the DB reboots their life with new cash flow​
    and restored elite status by attacking the cult's enemies---whistleblowers and cult victims.​

    SUPER-STOP: DB fails to shatter the cult's enemies, however they successfully achieve​
    unprecedented gains (financial, not case). It's a great deal, the F/Ning DB calculates,​
    because all they had to do for the cash and fleeting fame was attack and shatter themselves.​

    CONCLUSION: Scientology is the only game in the universe where everyone[sup]1[/sup] wins!

    [sup]1 [/sup]everyone -pronoun: 1. All beings on this planet. 2. (scn) The omnipotently, omnisciently, ethically infallible guru currently running Scientology on this planet (e.g. the Commodore and/or COB).

    Last edited: May 9, 2018
  8. HelluvaHoax!

    HelluvaHoax! Platinum Meritorious Sponsor with bells on


    From another thread discussing:
    "How To Treat Newly Duped Scientologists"

    Ironically, the word duped means just what it appears (e.g. tricked, fooled, conned, defrauded, et al)---but it just as well could (unintentionally) mean duplicated. That's a monumentally huge & significant word in Scientology!

    Paradoxically, the only people that actually "totally duplicate" Scientologists are SPs (ex-Scientologists). They know orders of magnitude more about Scientology and Scientologists than cult members in good standing[sup]1[/sup].

    [sup]1[/sup] "Good Standing": (scn) 1. Upstat, ethical and standardly on-Source planet clearers. 2. A big being able to have big F/Ns on big lies.


    ps: Oh damn, I got so carried away, I almost forgot to
    include the material from that other thread! LOL


    big bullbaiting wins from an American Ideal Org,
    translated for an Italian promo piece. . .


    Actual translation. . .


    Last edited: May 12, 2018
  9. HelluvaHoax!

    HelluvaHoax! Platinum Meritorious Sponsor with bells on


    Oh no! They're still talking. . .



    (getting up to leave)
    Whoa, lady! My UPS truck is double parked outside, I gotta go!

    (tone 40 command)
    Sit down in that chair!

    WTF, I'm leaving, bye!

    Wait! Did you know that
    Amanda Ambrose is a Scientologist?!!!

    Who? Never heard of her.

    Well, did you know that Isaac Hayes is an
    OT Scientologist?

    OT? What is that supposed to mean.

    It means Isaac has attained miraculous
    superpowers and immortality.

    Isn't Isaac Hayes dead?

    Um...Hey, did I mention to you that Michael
    Roberts was a dedicated Scientologist?


    You know, the African American actor
    who played a pimp in the 1970s
    TV show Beretta?

    Never heard of him. I wasn't even born
    then. Hey why are all the people you
    are telling me about black? I've been
    delivering UPS packages to Scientology centers
    for 12 years and I never once saw any
    black folks up in here.

    Oh well, I am using Ron's ARC triangle
    to establish "reality" with you so that
    your "affinity" will soar upwards
    so you will fall in love with Scientology!

    ...and that's when I give you my charge cards?

    Oh my goodness no! We are not interested in
    your money---we're only here to help you!
    Hey did you know that Louis Farrakhan
    is a Scientologist?

    LOL, you gotta be joking! Are you
    fucking with me? That guy is a race baiting,
    fanatical demagogue and sociopathic leader of
    of a hate cult that openly promotes terrorism, violence
    and murder against Jews and the entire white race!

    Well! I totally get that that is your reality and
    whatever is real to you is real to you. As a
    Scientologist I would never invalidate your knowingness.
    Did you know that our Founder, L. Ron Hubbard once went
    to Africa to help free your soul brothers and sisters from whitey?
    Hey wait, where are you going???!!!

    (walking towards the door)
    You're crazy. I am a UPS driver and I don't
    know what any of that shit you're telling me means.

    (chasing after WOG)
    Wait! Wait!! Wait!!!
    Did you know that one of Tom Cruise's
    adopted kids is kinda black looking?!

  10. HelluvaHoax!

    HelluvaHoax! Platinum Meritorious Sponsor with bells on


    QUESTION: By commissioning a bronze bust of himself, isn't Dr. Hubbard violating this precept of the "SCIENTOLOGIST'S CODE OF HONOR"?



    ANSWER: No, not at all. Just because Dr. Hubbard ordered all Scientology orgs, centers, missions, AOs, St. Hills, ships and Management Bureaus to purchase (at great profit to himself) and prominently display the majestically inspiring bust of "Mankind's Greatest Friend"---he was not doing that in a sordidly low-toned effort to merely be liked or admired. He was doing it to be deified & worshipped as the infallible savior of mankind. Think Jesus, but with a yachts, mansions, a 4-pack-a-day habit of Kool non-filters and numbered Swiss bank accounts.

  11. HelluvaHoax!

    HelluvaHoax! Platinum Meritorious Sponsor with bells on


    It seems that upstat OT Scientologists really did not like that last post. . .

    Last edited: May 13, 2018
  12. Enthetan

    Enthetan Master of Disaster

    I would imagine that suppliers these days would not deliver anything an a "bill us later" basis. You want food delivered? Put it on your credit card. What? Your credit card was cancelled? Well, that's too bad. Bye.

    In my Scn days, I had people coming up to me, asking for loans so they could buy services. My response (after getting burned once) was "If the bank doesn't think you are an acceptable credit risk, then neither do I".
  13. phenomanon

    phenomanon Canyon

    Was stuck in there this morning. Glad to know it's not only me who got messed up in there.
  14. FoTi

    FoTi Crusader

    Sounds like Billy Blowdown and Clay Pidgeon agree on a few things.
  15. FoTi

    FoTi Crusader

    You can get out by just erasing everything in the pink section with the backspace key. It will take you completely out and you can start over.
  16. HelluvaHoax!

    HelluvaHoax! Platinum Meritorious Sponsor with bells on

    I am not entirely sure, but has this discussion been about how to get "out of" the quoted section so that you can type your post below it?

    I never studied it, but what I do when I am "stuck" in the quoted section is this:

    1) Just highlight the quoted section.

    2) Click on the ICON (above, bottom row, second-in from right, to the left of the "insert spoiler" icon, see it?) that is the "quote" icon.

    3) That removes the quote box.

    4) Type what ever you want to post below it.

    5) Re-highlight the original post that you are responding to. Click on the QUOTE ICON again.

    6) Voila!

    Format savvy members probably have a simpler way, but what I described only takes 3 seconds, so I am happy, even if it is old school. lol

  17. DagwoodGum

    DagwoodGum Squirreling Dervish

    By definition of "In Scientology", every moment becomes a stupid one. OK, that's too obvious but I thought I'd mention it anyway.
    HelluvaHoax! likes this.
  18. cleared cannibal

    cleared cannibal Silver Meritorious Patron

  19. uncover

    uncover Gold Meritorious Patron

    Last edited: May 15, 2018
  20. HelluvaHoax!

    HelluvaHoax! Platinum Meritorious Sponsor with bells on

    QUESTION: . What Happened to the Way to Happiness?

    ANSWER: . Senior church management immediately canceled TWTH when it was discovered that it was very effectively eradicating crime, thus causing their own income stats to crash[sup]1[/sup].


    [sup]1[/sup] Cult leaders promoting The Way To Happiness were becoming very unhappy---because eliminating crime meant the end of lying, coercion, fraud and terrorism---their most important and effective "successful actions".