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Top 100 Stupid Moments in Scientology PART 4

Discussion in 'Evaluating and Criticising Scientology' started by HelluvaHoax!, Apr 25, 2017.

  1. JackStraw

    JackStraw Silver Meritorious Patron

    If only he had gone with "Science-ness" Then, all would have been golden.

    But, he didn't and t all went to sh*t...

    He figured it out too late. It's the nessness of ness. (on this planet!)

  2. freethinker

    freethinker Sponsor

    How you exhale determines your metab rate. A chiropractor at Flag, a public, told me how you can metab on two hours sleep and no food and it works. you turn your head to the right or left and exhale sharply and the needle drops like a rock. I used the technique because I was getting no metab on 9 hours sleep. It worked like a charm. I tried it once when I only had six and a half and it worked. In fact I never had metab problems after that. The chiropractor was good and bone crackin as well.
    Enthetan likes this.
  3. freethinker

    freethinker Sponsor

    you know it's funny, but after someone starts with dianetics, they only get a taste of that and suddenly before you can say PC, you're on to Scientology. but what is more amazing is that Dianetics Today was more popular than Dianetics and used so heavily that auditors would wear the pages and covers out on their copy because Miscavige said it wasn't written by Ron so they stopped printing it. This is where Scientology went wrong, they relegated Dianetics to the scrapheap or OLD category and attendance dropped like an as ised engram. Every time Scientology recovered it was when they brought Dianetics co-audits back and people bruised each other getting in the door It was Dianetics that made Scientology and dumbass Miscavige has never figured that out because he terrorized the Dianetics Centers and stole their money and he's been an idiot ever since with his straight down and vertical stat push on IAS. Yeah, he made some money but membership has dropped like your blood pressure does when you leave the club of chaos.
  4. freethinker

    freethinker Sponsor

    Dianetics actually kept people coming in as did TR O and the Trs and objectives course. It was actually interesting to watch women who were wallflowers become ferocious after High School Indoc drills. They would body slam 275 pound men just to get them to "Go Over To that WALL, Whack, THANK YOU!! Turn around [you cretin and] LOOK AT THAT WALL!!!!! RHUMPFfff.
  5. screamer2

    screamer2 Idiot Bastardson

    Nessnessness. That has a certain Hubbardian twang to it, don't it?
    Last edited: Aug 29, 2018
  6. guanoloco

    guanoloco As-Wased

    Not only that but Hubbs kept the two separate and distinct as Dianetics was a front group con to Scientology. Dianetics had a schematic to the mind and analogies to a computer circuit board with files, etc. No demons but encysted circuits, etc.

    Scientology, on the other hand, had spooks and ghosts and Xenu and doll bodies and the weeper and all sorts of kook.

    The two had separate premises and were distinct with Dianetics being pushed at raw meat.

    Mistupid the midget doesn't "get" it. He's mushed the two together to the point that he pronounces it "Dianeticscientology" and he's gone out of sequence by pushing Scientology first and over Dianetics.

    The success lay in keeping them separate and burying Scientology and pushing Dianetics.

    Dianetics red books pulled in productive level people and a shit ton of them. The Scientology blue books pulled in a few crazy oddballs that were dirt poor and downstat. Almost all of the chiros and professionals came off of Dianetics lines. The Cap'n Bill crowd came from the Scientology line. Freakos

    Guess which ones joined staff and progressed to the SO?
  7. HelluvaHoax!

    HelluvaHoax! Platinum Meritorious Sponsor with bells on



    Based on your hilarious post (above) we are pleased to inform you that the Stupid Thread's PANEL OF EXCELLENCE judges have just unanimously voted and you have won a red MEGA hat!

    MEGA - "Make ESMB Great Again" lol
  8. HelluvaHoax!

    HelluvaHoax! Platinum Meritorious Sponsor with bells on

    DIANETIC PARADOX #928: The perfect memory paradox.

    In 1950 Hubbard published DIANETICS and within it guaranteed that all those who attained the state of Clear would acquire "perfect memory" of anything and everything that had ever happened to them, back to birth and beyond.

    Furthermore, Hubbard guaranteed that the technology worked on everyone.

    And, finally, Hubbard guaranteed that anyone could go Clear in "20 hours of processing".

    Yet, 20 hours later, Clears did not have perfect memory of their entire existence. And not only did they not recover perfect memory going back to pre-natal times, they did not even recover the memory of Hubbard 's "perfect memory" guarantee from 20 hours earlier--evidenced by their blithely attesting to Clear.
    Operating DB likes this.
  9. DagwoodGum

    DagwoodGum Squirreling Dervish

    Anything to the claim by someone earlier in one of the threads that Miscavige now claims that the book "Dianetics" was not even written by L. Ron Hubbard? If so that really opens the door to a bizarre history of the church's past!
    Last edited: Aug 29, 2018
  10. HelluvaHoax!

    HelluvaHoax! Platinum Meritorious Sponsor with bells on

    Never ran across Miscavige (or any Scientologist) ever claiming that Hubbard did not write "Dianetics".

    If true, that would be quite shocking! Because if Ron did not write it, that means Ron lied about suppressive transcriptions intentionally making punctuation errors that sabotaged his perfectly working technology.

    And, more shocking still, that means that the suppressive transcriptionists were not suppressive---and if that's true, then it means that they didn't suppress Ron's tech. Which means (gasp!) that the tech did not work.

    These are all horrifying revelations, I am thinking I might be too enturbulated now to go on course tonight at the org.
    tesseract likes this.
  11. tesseract

    tesseract Patron with Horrors

    You're giving me juicy ideas there... Ideas that could need black leather combat boots with red shoelaces and shiny black PVC pants and corsets and ... yesss!!! :yes: :cool:
    Seriously, why has CoS never tried that? Oh I forget, CoS = David Miscavige = unimaginative dissocial little shithead. :read:
    (Hey, I'm almost certain I'm at least imaginative! :wink: )
  12. DagwoodGum

    DagwoodGum Squirreling Dervish

    Perhaps too little to bring to the party?
    Last edited: Aug 29, 2018
  13. screamer2

    screamer2 Idiot Bastardson

    "Yet, 20 hours later, Clears did not have perfect memory of their entire existence. And not only did they not recover perfect memory going back to pre-natal times, they did not even recover the memory of Hubbard 's "perfect memory" guarantee from 20 hours earlier--evidenced by their blithely attesting to Clear."

    Not to mention the inability to recover the memory of the color of Hubbard's tie when he momentarily turned his back on one subject.
    HelluvaHoax! and Operating DB like this.
  14. JackStraw

    JackStraw Silver Meritorious Patron

    I think the claim is that the book Dianetics Today was not written by Ronnie, which is true. It was a compilation of Hubbard writings, lectures, notes to C/Ss, Course Supes, and BTBs.:bignono:

    I (when I was in) loved that book. It contained info (tech) that could be found nowhere else.

    I once raised the "legitimacy" of that book with the mission Qual Sec, what with the BTB stuff included and he simply turned the book over to show me the spine and said "It has his name on it as author, so, good enough for me." or words to that effect.

  15. freethinker

    freethinker Sponsor

    to think you can't go clear and OT because of a misplaced comma. The power of grammar. You're a degraded being because you didn't notice the grammar error. See, there is a logical explanation for why no clears and OT's ….Illiteracy.
    JustSheila and HelluvaHoax! like this.
  16. freethinker

    freethinker Sponsor

    And good enough for 20 million Scientologist worldwide working diligently to clear the planet of money.
    DagwoodGum likes this.
  17. guanoloco

    guanoloco As-Wased

    WOW! Let's see here..."Based On The Works Of" L. Ron Hubbard...hmmmmm...where have I heard that before?

    Oh, yeah!

    BOTWO the Squirrel!

    Seems like "Based on the Works of" is only accepted by Miscavige when he's the evil transcriptionist SP squirrel.

    freethinker and screamer2 like this.
  18. guanoloco

    guanoloco As-Wased

    A little more "Based on" fun...

  19. guanoloco

    guanoloco As-Wased

    Here's examples of the endless editing and keep in mind all the Hu666ard yap of SP altering and KSW door slamming, etc. This is all possible due to "Based on".

    Last edited: Aug 29, 2018
  20. HelluvaHoax!

    HelluvaHoax! Platinum Meritorious Sponsor with bells on

    Good info, thanks!

    It is one of those curious phenomena in the cult of scientology that questioning the authenticity of any Source material can be viewed in various and contradictory ways:

    -- If you are on course and question an "LRH datum" you are promptly ordered to go back earlier and restudy your materials to find "misunderstood words" that made you doubt whether "Source" (Dr Hubbard) was possibly not infallible. If word clearing didn't work, pink sheet assignments were levied. If you still did not realize how it's all your fault that you didn't agree with Ron and you were routed to cramming at your own expense to "find your why" and handle your study case. If that didn't get you writing success stories on what you read, then you are routed to Ethics to handle your evil acts/intentions and to do amends, make up the damage and contritely beg for forgiveness and acceptance (back into the cult) by cult members in good standing who always agree with Ron. Failing that, if you continued "spreading entheta" (disagreeing with mankind's only hope and best friend) you would be whipped into shape with a Non-Enturbulation Order. If that didn't terrorize you enough to "knock off the dramatization", you would be declared an SP and disconnected from your family, friends and business associates. If you still disagreed with Ron and told people about it, you would be fair gamed and destroyed by tricks, lies and any means necessary by the most ethical people on the planet.
    -- if you questioned whether Ron wrote a book, policy or bulletin you could be sent to ethics for crimes​

    -- Or, if you questioned whether Ron wrote a book, policy or bulletin, you could be (instead) awarded a Humanitarian Medal of Courage (if that book was currently being re-published with a few commas added, along with the "command intention" that ordered all Scientologists to surrender their old edition and buy the new edition. ​
    JustSheila and JackStraw like this.