Top 100 Stupid Moments in Scientology PART 4

Discussion in 'Evaluating and Criticising Scientology' started by HelluvaHoax!, Apr 25, 2017.

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  1. HelluvaHoax!

    HelluvaHoax! Platinum Meritorious Sponsor with bells on

    LOL ! I love "Comma Khazies", sounds like an amalgam showcasing a Scientologist's multi-faceted personality. That's right, folks, you've got-yer--

    Kamikazes (i.e. masochism of sacrificing ones life for "a Bridge too far", lol​

    Comma-Nazis (a unit/section in the Grammar-Nazis org board)​

    Whoa, a 4 for the price of 1 value! (kha-khan, kha-ching, kha-con & kha-commies!)​


    REGISTRAR
    You have to buy the OEC green volumes again, that'll be $3,485.


    PRECLEAR
    But I just bought them yesterday! Remember you got my credit line
    increased and told me I'd die alone in the dark if I didn't buy them?


    REGISTRAR
    Yes, but this morning we got a directive from Ron that there was
    a missing comma in volume III, so if you don't get the new volumes
    your finance tech is going to be out and that means you can't pay
    for your Bridge--and that means you'll die alone in the dark.


    PRECLEAR
    Can't you just tell me where the comma is and I'll mark
    it in with green pen on my copy?


    REGISTRAR
    That would be a violation of HCOPL "Free Service Free Fall". See?
    You are already starting to commit financial high crimes
    from that squirrel version you have!




     
    Last edited: Aug 31, 2018
  2. screamer2

    screamer2 Idiot Bastardson

    Ain't it the truth.

    The insanity just didn't/doesn't end, do it?
     
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  3. freethinker

    freethinker Sponsor

    Chicken.
     
  4. JackStraw

    JackStraw Silver Meritorious Patron

    Sorry, GL, but I'm gonna have to send you to Cramming. (If memory serves...) the tone scale / know to mystery scale, side-by-side shows the top of the K to M scale thus: Know (at the top) then, just a bit lower, with nothing between, Not Know, then all the other steps down to Mystery further down, so, to your point: Not Know is quite high on the scale.

    That being said, kinda of makes one wonder if Not Know is so high on its scale, why is Doubt such a low condition...

    So, genuflect three times, say six Hail Ronnies and clear your mis-Us.:read::smack::waiting2:

    Jack
     
  5. screamer2

    screamer2 Idiot Bastardson

    "So, genuflect three times, say six Hail Ronnies Hip Hip Hooray's and clear your mis-Us MU's :read::smack::waiting2:

    ^^^^^ Fixed that for you ^^^^^
     
  6. guanoloco

    guanoloco As-Wased

    ...die alone in the dark...

    LMFAO!!!!
     
  7. guanoloco

    guanoloco As-Wased


    ...I must have Not Know(n) that...
     
  8. Operating DB

    Operating DB Truman Show Dropout

    We could start a dumpster/burning books alumni club. I chose the dumpster method but really wished I had burned them instead. Just as you noted some clueless person retrieved them from the dumpster in hopes of selling them. My landlord had informed me of this. They were intended to rot and compost in some unknown landfill where they belonged. I feel heartbroken they were retrieved. Burning them would have been a satisfying cleansing ritual. It'd been nice if we all knew of each other back then and we could have had a type of Burning Man festival and build a big ass pile of die-a-netics and scio books and tapes and gleefully dance around our own wall of fire. Wheeeeee.....
     
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  9. Operating DB

    Operating DB Truman Show Dropout

    CONGRATULATIONS to Helluvahoax! He finally surpassed Dull Old Fart on number of posts posted. :champagne::cake2::party::thewave::geekon::booze::bong::beer::dance3::dance::cheerleader:
     
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  10. tesseract

    tesseract Patron with Horrors

    Damn! :drama: I like bonfires, but as an uninvolved onlooker I don't have any scientology books (on paper, that is :D ). Can I throw in a few UFO books? I'm sure they burn well too. :bullshit: :trash:If you don't mind, I'll keep the occultism books because uh... Well you know... It's a case of "stayed an indie", sort of... :devil: :p
     
  11. guanoloco

    guanoloco As-Wased

    This is another summation I made to a question of what to say to people when they ask what Scienstoogerey is.

    You know what I'd tell 'em?

    I'd tell 'em that it all started about 75,000,000 years ago in this sector of the guhlacksee when...ok...wait a minute...I guess I'd start earlier and cover stuff like implants and once there were super simple thetans that had these awesome theta abilities but one day they decided to be complex and this started them down the dwindling spiral and then there's the physical universe and doll bodies and the Marcabs and the 5th Invader Force with pincer-like hands and then there's bodies in pawn and there's the GE line with the weeper and the helper and the clam and then there's softened up theta entities that are injected into us because of Xenu and his fake tax audit and DC-8s with the volcanoes and prison planet for artists and perverts and atom bombs and trains on Venus and it's the engram that causes all of man's problems...er...wait a minute it's the M/Us? Or is it overts? Or maybe it's the MISSED withhold that is the doozie...but don't forget the SP who is in a synthetic valence and this is what a valence is and the SP causes all of man's illness and injury and you can actually have a virus (I guess?) that's PTS and this is why there's disconnection policy that's been cancelled because now the tech works so well but really it comes down to these injected softened up theta entities that we call Body Thetans that are the problem and THESE are what cause the circuits that we originally didn't have any demons for but now we DO have demons and we do this auditing stuff to rid ourselves of them, unless you've taken an aspirin or something and although we're the top 1% of the top 10% or something we're really one foot in the grave of the long gone dead at the end of the universe on prison planet Teegeeak and somebody just slapped a beam on me and tried to invalidate me and evaluate for me but I spotted this dark mass with ridges that was part of my past life as Marilyn Monroe and once you as-is something your Havingness comes up...er...maybe it goes down and you need to remedy it depending on what's going on but you swell out across your dynamics and can be the keys of your car that you lost and now found them by acking the car that was broke but you flowed theta into it to keep it running so you're not 1 minute late to ethics frying other fish and all that and go on course to scream at an ashtray to stand up if you can push your way past all those Guy Fawkes-masked terrorists dramming their out-ethics and crimes in front of the org and your stats go flying up after writing up your O/Ws and joining the group but you mustn't prematurely ack because that's like having bad breath which Ron who was Buddha never had despite keeping the same teeth he had when he was Cecil Rhodes or earlier off the track I guess because his CSW or PO to get new ones was never approved...

    That about sums it up for now.
     
  12. guanoloco

    guanoloco As-Wased

    One final summary:

    If it isn't fun it isn't Scientology...that insouciant deadly serious activity not some minor game we are all playing for blood where it's the only game where everybody wins or dies in the attempt because we'd rather have you dead than incapable where only the tigers survive that isn't cute or done for lack of something better to do so why go bowling or have other fish to fry if it isn't fun it isn't Scientology.
     
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  13. JustSheila

    JustSheila Crusader

    That made total sense to me, Guano.
     
  14. screamer2

    screamer2 Idiot Bastardson

    Great Scott!

    I couldna ha said it better meself.
     
  15. freethinker

    freethinker Sponsor

    Been doing research?
     
  16. Enthetan

    Enthetan Master of Disaster

    That's a sign you need to increase your meds.
     
  17. guanoloco

    guanoloco As-Wased

    AT LAST!! I thought I was the ONLY ONE who was batshit crazzzeeeeeee!!!!
     
  18. freethinker

    freethinker Sponsor

    Labor Day Break.
     
  19. HelluvaHoax!

    HelluvaHoax! Platinum Meritorious Sponsor with bells on

    .


    Scientology is a new age cult, built upon a core of "feeling".

    Whatever you "feel" is what is "real".

    It's scripture.

    This perpetuates a paradoxical pc predicament & problem.

    Any time the PC "feels" they have attained the state of OT, the reg "feels" they have not.

    In the spirit of total freedom and granting of beingness, feelings are always given equal importance--except those who have the rank to know what's best for DBs lower on the command channel.
     
    Last edited: Sep 5, 2018
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  20. freethinker

    freethinker Sponsor

    In honor - cough, cough, of the June 29th, 1992 case of CST v United States, where the Commissioner said, and the court agreed, that ...
    "(2) Commissioner did not err by
    finding that organization was not religious organization, within contemplation

    of statute."

    Read it yourself