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Top 100 Stupid Moments in Scientology PART 4

Discussion in 'Evaluating and Criticising Scientology' started by HelluvaHoax!, Apr 25, 2017.

  1. Type4_PTS

    Type4_PTS Diamond Invictus SP

    If I was the father, I'd come back as a member of the Justice Dept. More specifically, the Organized Crime Division of the FBI, and help take down Co$.

    I genuinely feel bad for his daughters if they should ever wake up and realize the true nature of the organization they're part of.

    I imagine it would be devastating to realize you were duped by a criminal con man and his cult and came to believe that disconnecting from your own father was the 'greatest good'.
     
    Operating DB, Xenu Xenu Xenu and Bill like this.
  2. Karakorum

    Karakorum supressively reasonable

    That part is borderline insantity, even by insider standards. If he was disconnected, then he was almost certainly declared. If he was declared, then he is "tained" as an SP and you don't want to have him back in the church, in this or in the next life.

    I know people who when they saw such a statement would write a KR on her. Me when I was still an EO, I would just give her a slap on the wrist. But some EOs would put her through the ropes for that.
     
    Enthetan and Type4_PTS like this.
  3. HelluvaHoax!

    HelluvaHoax! Platinum Meritorious Sponsor with bells on

    ..

    ..
    Jeez, my previous wholetrack research only revealed ten (10).

    Now that my e-meter has been fully charged, we discover #11!

    Think about it like.....THIS IS SPINAL TAP SCIENTOLOGY TECH ("....these tells go to 11.")


    11. Scientology has sacred scripture that forbids Scientologists from reading 99% of the testimonials and cognitions of other Clears/OTs. That is because 99% of Scientologists blow after fully clearing the concept and cogniting on what Scientology actually is.

    CULT DEBUNKING PRO TIP: Scientology is the world's only study technology where you are literally forced to fully clear every single word imaginable---except the word Scientology.

    .
     
    Last edited: Jul 1, 2019
    Enthetan and Operating DB like this.
  4. HelluvaHoax!

    HelluvaHoax! Platinum Meritorious Sponsor with bells on

    True. . .

    However, as revealed previously, when attempting to understand Scientology one must always factor in the HUBBARD LAW OF COMMOTION.

    It's somewhat similar to Newton's Law of Motion.

    HUBBARD LAW OF COMMOTION
    In Scientology, for each and every piece of standard tech or standard policy
    there is an equal and opposite piece of standard tech and standard policy.

    Ergo, it is strict policy that SPs are never allowed near orgs or Scientologists in good standing. Unless the PTS, SP, DB, SQUIRREL can be convinced to make a sizable donation, at which time they are wildly cheered and awarded with jumbo messianic medallions.

    PRO TIP: There are no exceptions to the above exceptions. If you thought, for example that the COS was serious when they said that anyone who had a "psych history" was forever forbidden from doing the OT LEVELS, think again. One can not only have a massive "psych history" of therapy but also "psych drugs" and still do all the OT levels. Still wondering if that is really true? Then wonder no more. Because one can have all of that and also have been given MULTIPLE ELECTRO SHOCK TREATMENTS and still do all the OT levels. How is this possible you are wondering? Simple, just do a clay demo of the HCO Policy KWW (Keeping Whales Working).

    .
     
    Last edited: Jul 1, 2019
  5. HelluvaHoax!

    HelluvaHoax! Platinum Meritorious Sponsor with bells on

    .

    [bcolor=#ffffff]TRUTH-TECH TRANSLATOR[/bcolor]


    "A Venezuelan dictator once decided to stop leprosy. He saw that most lepers
    in his country were also beggars. By the simple expedient of collecting and destroying all
    the beggars in Venezuela an end was put to leprosy in that country."

    - L. Ron Hubbard (Science of Survival)


    "A Scientology dictator once decided to stop whistleblowing. He saw that most whistleblowers
    in his cult were also SPs. By the simple expedient of collecting and destroying all
    the SPs in Scientology an end was put to truth in that cult."

    - L. Don Hubbard[sup]1[/sup] (Science of Surveillance)


    .


    [sup]1[/sup] L. Don Hubbard (see avatar) is the disaffected, DB & declared evil twin brother of L. Ron Hubbard. Don, founder of the Church of Hoaxology, was the first being on this planet to blow from the cult whereupon he attained the state of OH (Operating Hobo).

    .
     
    Last edited: Jul 1, 2019
  6. Karakorum

    Karakorum supressively reasonable

    Oh yeah good ol' Hubster, couldn't resist quoting and elaborating on what he saw as a good story to make a show. There's a reason why so many of his courses were lectures where he goes on various "ad hoc" rants. Guy was a showman first, swindler second.
     
    Last edited: Jul 1, 2019
    Type4_PTS likes this.
  7. HelluvaHoax!

    HelluvaHoax! Platinum Meritorious Sponsor with bells on

    TrickTech Triptych

    If it's totally true that "The Truth Shall Set You Free". . .​
    .
    And if it's also true that L. Ron Hubbard was a total pathological liar. . .​
    .
    There is probably a slight chance that "Total Freedom" is not something you want to pay $600,000 for.​

    .
     
    Last edited: Jul 1, 2019
    Enthetan and Type4_PTS like this.
  8. Karakorum

    Karakorum supressively reasonable

    He wals also a self-hater if you ask me. I don't remember who classified him as a manic-depressive, but I think that must have been true. I mean he himself wrote so much against liars (and with some vitriol), like:

    "Lies are told because one is afraid of the consequences should one tell the truth. Destructive acts are usually done out of fear. Thus, the liar is inevitably a coward and the coward inevitably a liar"

    "(...) the liar will never be happy or satisfied with himself until he begins dealing in truth."

    "Freedom ofspeech does not mean freedom to harm by lies."

    "Lying is an alteration of time, place, event or form. Lying becomes Alter-isness, becomes stupidity."


    Also the Hubbard law of administration:

    In Scientology, for each and every person on staff or in the SO, there must be someone else redundantly doing the same tasks without knowing it. And above these two sad beings, there are two redundant managers who are even bigger and sadder beings.

    .
     
    Last edited: Jul 2, 2019
    tesseract likes this.
  9. Karakorum

    Karakorum supressively reasonable

    removed, double post sorry.
     
    Last edited: Jul 1, 2019
  10. HelluvaHoax!

    HelluvaHoax! Platinum Meritorious Sponsor with bells on

    .

    [bcolor=#ffffff]TRUTH-TECH TRANSLATOR[/bcolor]


    "Not smoking enough will cause lung cancer!"
    - L. Ron Hubbard (author: When In Doubt Communicate)


    "Not enough smoke will cause beings to blow Scientology
    and lose their eternity!
    Not enough mirrors, too.
    - L. Don Hubbard[sup]1[/sup] (author: When in Debt Prevaricate)


    ..
    [sup]1[/sup] L. Don Hubbard (see avatar) is the disaffected, DB & declared evil twin brother of L. Ron Hubbard. Don, founder of the Church of Hoaxology, was the first being on this planet to blow from the cult whereupon he attained the state of OH (Operating Hobo).

    .
     
    Last edited: Jul 2, 2019
  11. lotus

    lotus stubborn rebel sheep!

    Jetez...

    Amazing...was unable to spot it on the thetan in his miroir..Or else, was inspired by the lying liar thetan in his miroir...
     
  12. ILove2Lurk

    ILove2Lurk Lisbeth Salander

    . . .
    Blockbuster reveal from the annual
    ‘Maiden Voyage’ celebration 2019

    David Miscavige unveiled photos to the attendees that Ron
    recently telexed via satellite transmission from Target II to Gold
    Base in Hemet.

    The location of Marcabian-inspired Target II is still confidential,
    but Miscavige assured the group that Ron is doing just fine
    and is still working on his advanced research. (Seems like he's
    also remarried.) :giggle:

    RonII.jpg

    RonIIA.jpg

    RonIIB.jpg

    :evillaugh:
     
    Last edited: Jul 2, 2019
  13. Leland

    Leland Crusader

    I happen to be a big Buckminster Fuller fan....:eek:
     
  14. HelluvaHoax!

    HelluvaHoax! Platinum Meritorious Sponsor with bells on

    .


    [​IMG]



    THINGS RON INCLUDED IN THE BOOK "WHAT TO AUDIT" FOR MARY SUE HUBBARD​

    -- Fifth Invader Force black tech from 3 billion years ago​

    -- Gorilla Goal Implants from 342 quadrillion years ago​

    -- Wholetrack Markabian false data​


    THINGS RON DID NOT INCLUDE IN THE BOOK "WHAT TO AUDIT" FOR MARY SUE HUBBARD​

    -- Present time false data, black tech and implants from fanatical cult leaders who trick you into doing federal prison time for their crimes. ​


    .


     
  15. screamer2

    screamer2 Idiot Bastardson

    "Now that my e-meter has been fully charged, we discover #11!"

    Yep.
    Little known fact, there was a special research pilot program back when LRH was still on this planet. Some would later call us squirrels. We had the green light though. None of us knew anything about electricity wires or batteries, but we managed to hack into a prototype emeter the old man was evaluating and jack up the internal voltage by a few watts. Bamm! Whooshhh!, Zing!, not even TC blathering in a greasy black turtleneck on a psychiatrist's couch could begin to hold a candle to our wins.

    This is true.

    ML,

    :roflmao:
     
  16. screamer2

    screamer2 Idiot Bastardson

    ILTL:

    I have to mow the grass. How much do I have to donate to the clams to get this dude (or someone just like him but with more hair, [edited to add: a better disposition, less of an attitude, and some sensible footwear]) to get out here and get it done?

    [​IMG]
     
    Last edited: Jul 3, 2019
  17. Operating DB

    Operating DB Truman Show Dropout

    Maybe Ron could help JustShiela in her "Lawnmowers on Hills, Need Advice!" thread.
     
  18. PirateAndBum

    PirateAndBum Gold Meritorious Patron

    I hate to burst your bubble but that is not a lawn mower! It a a Marcabian Mark III Hoova Implantatron. The thing actually can fly over the heads of unsuspecting morons sucking them right out of their head and up into the implant-o-matic chamber. The implant given is programmable. After implantation the implantee is farted out the rear and left to wander about until it finds its meat body. The most popular program was the "I am your god, give me all your time and money" implant. You can see in the picture that the pilot is just about ready to take off and demo that exact implant on the clueless watchers standing nearby.
     
  19. screamer2

    screamer2 Idiot Bastardson

    lol

    That sounds very much like a harmonic of the obscene dog incident.
     
  20. JustSheila

    JustSheila Crusader

    :laugh: :roflmao:

    Awesome! :winner: Better than the OT3 story! XENU tricked the local population and when Spring came, sent out free, high-tek lawn services with mowers that implant the unsuspecting populace, burying them deep in the hills that needed the lawn services!

    And he DEFINITELY looks like he's getting ready to personally fart out thetans!