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Top 100 Stupid Moments in Scientology PART 4

Discussion in 'Evaluating and Criticising Scientology' started by HelluvaHoax!, Apr 25, 2017.

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  1. Dotey OT

    Dotey OT Cyclops Duck of the North - BEWARE

    Scientology means 'scio', knowing in the fullest sense of the word and 'logos', study. In itself the word means 'knowing how to know'.Scientology is a 'route', a way, rather than a dissertation or assertive body of knowledge. Through its drills and studies one may find the truth for himself. The technology is therefore not expounded as something to believe, but something to 'do'.

    Or...

    Scheme-o = Knowing in the fullest sense of the word, with a little caveat the size or Arslycus, if there was such a place.
    Logos = Study of, (with the exception or parishioners being able to study the truth about what they are studying.)
     
  2. Type4_PTS

    Type4_PTS Diamond Invictus SP

    The official story was that LR Haitch HAD to discard the body because his research project had to be done in a fully exterior state without the impediment of a body.

    That made me wonder about a couple things. When still a true believer I was led to believe that one could go OT and still keep the body. That way you can operate in both the MEST universe and the theta universe.

    If Ron's research required him to causatively discard his healthy body than maybe some up and coming OT levels might also require participants to discard their body?

    For those still inside the bubble and believing the official story, they've been set up to be part of a suicide cult should Miscavige want to go in that direction.

    I know even amongst us ex-scientologists very few believe that that is a remote possibility. And I myself do not consider it a likely possibility.
    But should COB wish to go in that direction, the stage has been set, at least for the most extreme true believers that buy in 100% to the official story.
    While it doesn't really make any sense for COB to do such a thing, he has done many things in the past that don't make any sense.

    As a hypothetical example, some S.O. member at a remote Sea Org base is called for a private briefing with COB, given an "r-factor" that LRH has released some OT rundown (with few prerequisites) and they've been chosen as one of the first to get onto it. It requires them to discard the impediment of a body of course. They're given a C/S which will accomplish that purpose but will leave no evidence that this was an "assisted suicide". It will appear as though the person chose to do it himself with no record that would incriminate COB.

    Sorry if this post was disturbing. I think I had too much coffee this morning. :eek:
     
    Lurker5 and screamer2 like this.
  3. HelluvaHoax!

    HelluvaHoax! Platinum Meritorious Sponsor with bells on

    LOL

    TOTAL FLAWS HAIKU
    .
    Ron sold 'total cause'
    Applause soon turned to guffaws
    Santa Cause broke laws

    .

     
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  4. HelluvaHoax!

    HelluvaHoax! Platinum Meritorious Sponsor with bells on

    .



    TECH ESTIMATE HAIKU
    .
    Cogs, a dollar each. . .
    They said you'll need one million
    To be dead like Ron

    ..


     
    Last edited: Jul 12, 2019
  5. HelluvaHoax!

    HelluvaHoax! Platinum Meritorious Sponsor with bells on

    .


    THETA UNIVERSE HAIKU
    ...
    Stuck in the MEST trap?
    So you want total freedom?
    Just pay MEST dollars.

    .
     
    Last edited: Jul 12, 2019
  6. HelluvaHoax!

    HelluvaHoax! Platinum Meritorious Sponsor with bells on

    That could never happen in Scientology because it would crash the stats.

    However, if senior management could do a survey and find the right tone-level and closing button to this question, COB might suddenly discover a piece of lost upper level technology:


    IF COB FOUND A PREVIOUSLY LOST CONFIDENTIAL OT IX HCOB--
    WHERE RON DISCOVERED THAT A BEING CANNOT GO TOTALLY
    FREE UNLESS THEY SHED THEIR MEST ENCUMBRANCE AFTER
    DONATING ALL THEIR MONEY AND MEST ENCUMBRANCES
    TO AN ETHICAL CHURCH--WHAT WOULD THE PROMO PIECE
    HAVE TO SAY THAT WOULD MAKE YOU VVGIS ABOUT
    KILLING YOURSELF AND GIVING US ALL YOUR SHIT?


    This is a "bright idea" that would both boom GI and terminatedly resolve pesky devT refund cycles.

    ,
     
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  7. Type4_PTS

    Type4_PTS Diamond Invictus SP

    "Sign up today only and as a bonus we'll cancel your billion year contract!
     
  8. HelluvaHoax!

    HelluvaHoax! Platinum Meritorious Sponsor with bells on

    .
    SQUIRREL POETRY TECH HAIKU
    ...
    It's not in writing. . .
    So if you read this Haiku
    Make up the damage

    .
     
    Last edited: Jul 12, 2019
  9. guanoloco

    guanoloco As-Wased



    The Wizard of Cause
    Now he's dead as a door nail
    Silent teeth of Meth
     
  10. Yes. Very possible. No different than what is preached to suicide bombers.


     
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  11. ILove2Lurk

    ILove2Lurk Lisbeth Salander

    Well, yes . . . of course. With total and utter certainty.

    Pat Broeker Official Statement (partial transcript) from LRH Death Event
    (Has never been specifically refuted by the COS.)

    "We also by the way have the... OT level... that is going to be done...​
    immediately after every thetan, discards his or her body. He wrote that up​
    before he went."
    "Now this....don't take that as an invitation, because you​
    don't get it til you're through with the OT level before it.​
    But KNOW ....that...when it's time, the tech is there. So​
    you're not... left with, "what do I do now?" or even having to figure it out​
    for yourself. It's there. We're uhh..that will be written up right away.​
    Cause we have that... umm... word for word, and it'll be archived and made​
    uh...and made safe. And it will be eventually, available, at Flag, and other
    AO's, and people will be allowed, to come into AOLA, [before they discard the​
    body] read the materials, check out on them, be word-cleared, demo...​
    so you know it! Now you know it! Now you're ready.. for when.. it​
    happens."
    Causatively and willfully discarding your body -- obviously -- will be an advanced
    step if you're to follow LRH's carefully taped path and follow in his exact footsteps.

    Just think about that for a minute if you will. It's so obvious. :shrug:
     
    Last edited: Jul 14, 2019
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  12. Type4_PTS

    Type4_PTS Diamond Invictus SP

    Thank-you for posting that. I actually forgot that particular part from the LRH Departure to Target Two event. I just watched that part of the event in the video I posted below.

    The part which you transcribed is at the 14:50 mark of the video.

    One of the things from the event that IMO should make ALL Scientologists question the official story told to them is at the 6:00 minute mark (and the minutes leading up to it). According to Pat Broeker, Hubbard knew that Broeker would be addressing Scientologists concerning all this. And he delivered a message to all Scientologists via Pat Broeker.

    So Hubbard knew for YEARS that this time was coming, that he was getting ready to leave. And while he had time to write Battlefield Earth and Mission Earth, he couldn't take an hour to record a 'Ron's Journal', informing Scientologists of his plans, an update on the state of his research, who he would be turning over his various hats to, acknowledging Scientologists for the work that they've done, etc., etc.

    It just makes zero sense whatsoever. It's not how Hubbard operated.
    If he had something important to say he wouldn't use a via (Pat Broeker in this example). If he had something this important going on which concerned his research, the state of the "tech", and his departure, and he was causatively leaving (as he planned to do for years) , he wouldn't leave it to others to brief Scientologists.

    That's just too much for even a true-believing Scientologist to accept as true. :faceslap:



     
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  13. ILove2Lurk

    ILove2Lurk Lisbeth Salander

    That was my question and major problem with it all from
    the get-go, though stupidly I did soldier on for a bit longer.
    Does anybody know what's told to new Scios nowadays when
    they ask about what happened to Ron or where is he . . . the
    official-official narrative (in writing), that is?

    I wonder what the veterans and publics are saying to each
    other nowadays. I'm clueless, having been gone for so long.
     
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  14. HelluvaHoax!

    HelluvaHoax! Platinum Meritorious Sponsor with bells on

    .
    SCENARIO: A comatose cultist momentarily wakes up and thoughtlessly inquires: "Hey, where's Ron anyways?"

    SCIENTOLOGY POLICY: All non-standard questions must be erased by a standard answer.


    THE ANSWER IN 1951
    "Ron is at sea. . . happily married to his 2nd wife!"
    .
    [​IMG]



    THE ANSWER IN 1981
    "Ron is at sea. There never was a 2nd wife!"
    .
    [​IMG]




    THE ANSWER IN 2021
    "Ron who? There never was a 2nd Source!"
    .
    [​IMG]


    .
     
    Last edited: Jul 14, 2019
  15. HelluvaHoax!

    HelluvaHoax! Platinum Meritorious Sponsor with bells on

    .



    WARNING - WHAT YOU ARE ABOUT TO READ IS: tl;dr (too Lronhubbardish; didn't read)

    SCIENO-SCENARIO: A chance encounter between two Scientologists that got on the Bridge together 4 decades earlier. Standing in a long line at Starbucks they both suddenly recognize each other. . .

    .
    lier. Standing in a long line at Starbucks they both suddenly recognize each other. . .

    BILLY BLOWDOWN
    Is that you Jerry?!!


    JERRY
    OMG! Billy?! Wow! I haven't seen you since we were both
    body routers back in 1969 in DC! Is that you Billy?


    BILLY BLOWDOWN
    Wow, yes, it's me! It's Jerry, right? It feels like I am
    like blowing so much charge seeing you again! Hey, man
    I always thought you were the most uptone, upstat, super-theta
    being! Hey, where you been for the past 40 years?


    JERRY
    Well, I should kind of warn---er--uh, I mean "r-factor"
    you that I have been off working on an ethics cycle.


    BILLY BLOWDOWN
    Well that sounds amazing, it totally indicates to me that
    you are taking total responsibility for it, whatever it is. You
    were always the most ethical being!


    JERRY
    Yeah, well...so how about you?


    BILLY BLOWDOWN
    Well, I just recently finished objectives!


    JERRY
    Huh? Billy, we were co-auditing objectives back in '69.
    My god, how many hours did you need?


    BILLY BLOWDOWN
    LOL, no, no, no. This is my Golden Age of Technology objectives.
    People who ran only like 70 or 80 hours of "Look at that Wall" never
    made it to full OT. Ron states that it takes 100 hours. This is the third
    time I have done objectives, now that the Ideal Objectives were released.


    JERRY
    Well, that sound really--uh, standard, Billy.


    BILLY BLOWDOWN
    So, you've done your GAT and your Ideal objectives?


    JERRY
    Not exactly, like I say--I've been handling an ethics cycle.


    BILLY BLOWDOWN
    So where are you on the Bridge?


    JERRY
    I'm not exactly on the Bridge. Ya know---like I say,
    I'm just, um---off handling an ethics cycle.


    BILLY BLOWDOWN
    If you don't have an FSM helping you get back on the
    Bridge, I can help you get through your ethics cycle,
    so I'd like to select you for GAT and IDEAL Objectives
    and the rest of your Bridge up through OT X. Where did you
    say you are on the Bridge again?


    JERRY
    Well, that's the thing. I'm not on the Bridge Billy.


    BILLY BLOWDOWN
    Well, that's not a problem.Ron states that the only reason a being
    blows is because of an MU. I'm a Hubbard Professional
    Word Clearer and I can help you find the MU that caused
    you to blow from your Bridge.


    JERRY
    Thanks, I appreciate it, but I don't have an MU.


    BILLY BLOWDOWN
    That's not a problem. Ron states that the only reason a being
    blows is because of Overts. I am also a Hubbard Professional
    Ethics Officer and i can help you find your crimes against
    Scientology that caused you to blow from your Bridge.


    JERRY
    Thanks again, Billy. But actually I don't have any crimes.


    BILLY BLOWDOWN
    So what is it then? I mean you are losing your eternity, man,
    what's going on? You went PTS? I happen to be a Hubbard
    Professional SP Detection & Handling Specialist and i can
    help you find your SP that is causing you to be off your Bridge.


    JERRY
    That's great Billy, but--um, I'm already handling it. Like I
    say, I'm off on an ethics cycle.


    BILLY BLOWDOWN
    What ethics cycle? What's stopping you?


    JERRY
    It's an SP, Billy. But I am not PTS to them.


    BILLY BLOWDOWN
    That's impossible! How can you NOT be PTS to an SP?


    JERRY
    Because I am the SP. That's my ethics cycle. I was declared.


    BILLY BLOWDOWN
    Well, do your A to E, man!!! What's taking you so long?!


    JERRY
    Because I don't want to do "A to E" and rejoin the church.


    BILLY BLOWDOWN
    No, there has to be an SP that you missed. You need to
    spot the real SPs and disconnect from them.


    JERRY
    Actually there were two SPs that I missed. But then I spotted
    Hubbard and Miscavige--so I applied standard tech and
    standardly disconnected from them. That's when they declared me.


    BILLY BLOWDOWN
    But... um.....I mean...that that that that doesn't sound like
    standard tech. Scientology's leaders cannot be SPs!


    JERRY
    Why not?


    BILLY BLOWDOWN
    Becaause...um...well...I mean....uh.................


    JERRY
    Yes?


    BILLY BLOWDOWN
    Well I can't think of the exact reason right now, but I'll
    find the reference and send it to you. I'm sure in the green
    volumes somewhere LRH states that declaring him an SP is off-policy.



    .
     
    Operating DB likes this.
  16. Type4_PTS

    Type4_PTS Diamond Invictus SP

    I remember sitting watching the event and for me it was surreal, and just the latest in a chain of events that caused me to have serious doubts.

    But I didn't have anyone back at the time I felt safe talking to about my doubts, either inside or outside CoS.

    I recall during several times like that where I'd get these gut feelings that something was REALLY wrong and I needed to get the hell out of there.
    But then I'd have doubts creep in about my feelings, wondering if I was wrong about how I saw things, and there was some valid explanation for all that was happening that I just didn't understand yet. So I'd stick around longer as I didn't want to mess up my eternity should my feelings about the CoS be all wrong. :faceslap:

    Hubbard was smart in not allowing Scientologists to discuss these types of doubts or even discuss their "case" with other Scientologists.
    If we were all freely allowed to compare our observations and impressions with each other the CoS would have shrunk much faster than it did in the pre-internet days.

    I've been out since '89 and also am very curious about these types of things. We'll have to get some EX'es that are recently out over here in the thread and pick their brains.
     
    Xenu Xenu Xenu likes this.
  17. screamer2

    screamer2 Idiot Bastardson

    [​IMG]

    I note that the asthmatic dwarf also failed to remove the condom from the handle to his right that ron's second wife started to unroll there before she was disappeared.
     
  18. HelluvaHoax!

    HelluvaHoax! Platinum Meritorious Sponsor with bells on

    .

    Definitions from THE DB'S DIABOLICALLY DINKY DICTIONARY:


    tech estimate - noun: 1. A certain number of dollars that you just make up and order another terminal
    to pay you, if they ever hope to be happy. 2. The exact quantity of MEST dollars required to secure one's
    eternity, calculated by totaling the aggregate of the being's cash, charge cards and liquidatable assets.
    .
    celebrity - noun: 1. An incredibly elite, uptone & upstat VIP that is the recipient of untold love and admiration
    from adoring fans. 2. Anyone whose bank account balance equals or exceeds their tech estimate.

    .
     
    Last edited: Jul 15, 2019
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  19. HelluvaHoax!

    HelluvaHoax! Platinum Meritorious Sponsor with bells on

    ..


    CULT CONUNDRUM: What technology do registrars use if a Scientologist doesn't want to donate several hundred thousand dollars for their OT levels?

    DATA: In rare instances, a PC with counter/other intention will com lag and/or balk at surrendering their MEST universe money in order to secure their spiritual eternity. No matter how many times the PC is "briefed" and "r-factored" about the catastrophe that befell the Galactic Confederation 75 million years ago, they simply will not buy (figuratively and literally) the Xenu DC-8 story. Despite the PC being ordered to listen to LRH JOURNAL 67 more than a dozen times with metered word clearing and clay demos, the being nonetheless reactively refuses to pay for their OT package.

    REG REMEDY: When the PC begins to physically wrestle with the gang-bang assemblage of Big League Closing Ministers who are guarding the exit doors---the chief registrar should:
    1. Immediately dismiss the half-dozen or more registrars from the room.​
    2. Discretely switch from scare-tactics, screaming intimidation & other entheta terrorism to the ARC triangle.​
    3. Use the "A" corner of the ARC triangle ("affinity") to bring up the other two corners, to facilitate as-ising disagreement.​
    4. Convert Xenu's DC-8 tech from dropping H-Bombs and alien DBs in volcanos---into dropping A-Bombs on credulous cult DBs (Defrauded Beings).​
    .
    A-BOMB TECHNOLOGY
    .
    [​IMG]
    .
    WHEN IN DOUBT, AFFINITY BOMB!
    (i.e. when anyone doubts Hubbard's Hoax, mock up and bury their
    common sense with overwhelming numbers of acceptable love bombs)

    .



     
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  20. Type4_PTS

    Type4_PTS Diamond Invictus SP

    And if that doesn't work try gang-bang sec-checks. :coolwink:
     
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