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Vital Tech Breakthrough

mockingbird

Silver Meritorious Patron
Every so often an innovation comes along that really changes the game in Ron Hubbard's technology. First there was Dianetics( stolen abreactive therapy combined with hypnosis and lies), then Science of Survival (more stolen hypnotic techniques combined with rhetoric and elements of Crowley's occult work and propaganda similar to Nazism) then History of Man (reportedly Nibs drug induced hallucinations). Also guided imagery therapy (stolen from Volney Mathison and used in the way he warned against). That's where the meter comes in.

There have been many more innovations, but there is an area that Hubbard tried to cover but left gaps in his technology. Very important gaps that prevent universal workability. Sure he said to ruin utterly and that enemies have no rights whatsoever and may be sued, lied to, or denied rights or property. That's certainly a start. And that we'd rather have you dead than incapable.

But he set up a criminal racket like a mob. It lacks subtlety and style. He didn't teach trolling.


I have an idea on how we can help Scientology. We can have the Golden Age of Trolls. We can show Scientology famous trolls and have drills and TRs for them. They can do a Hubbard Qualified trolling course, then a professional trolling series agitator course. They can drill being infuriating, contemptible and distracting.

They can drill and get checked out on disrupting threads, getting critics to feud, ruining reputations and smearing an area so no one comes back. The number one thing Scientology trolls lack is humor. Great trolls like the emails from an asshole and Andy Kaufman and Tom Green and Sacha Baron Cohen and the crew from Jackass all have humor. Sometimes offensive, not for everyone but the attempt is there.

Scientology trolls can be sent to improvs and practice their comedy skills at open mike nights. I really think they do it.

The second thing they lack is subtlety. Often it is easy to spot them. They can study past successful actions of long term trolls for how to remain undetected but be effective. That is the key.

Have you got any suggestions ?
 

Knows

Gold Meritorious Patron
I think the proverbial "cat is out of the bag" and Scientology can't have trolls. Us SP"s put a "Can't Have" on the mother fuckers! LOL

Scientology Trolls are so predictable - SP's can SMELL them two weeks in advance of just thinking of trolling! LOL:yes:
 

mockingbird

Silver Meritorious Patron
Knows. Come on we can help to usher in a new age - the Golden Age of Scientology Trolls !
We can have "The Supreme Test of a Troll" and other vital issues to help. With all the innovations (plagiarized failed ideas) in Scientology already, surely a few more cane be added?

Shirley agrees !
 
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Jump

Operating teatime
Knows. Come on we can help to usher in a new age - the Golden Age of Scientology Trolls !
We can have "The Supreme Test of a Troll"a and other vital issues to help. With all the innovations (plagiarized failed ideas) in Scientology already, surely a few more cane be added?

Shirley agrees !


Arnie's favourite test was to see if they could say the word 'Xenu' ( "could be spelled x e m u " ).

Apart from that, Scientology trolls offer a great opportunity to highlight scientology's failings.
 

mockingbird

Silver Meritorious Patron
Fleet Admiral David Miscavige has announced a vital executive order. He is drafting the new TTC Troll Training Corps to man up a group that will consist of tech as trolls, and troll cramming officers, with troll course admin, course supervisors and troll ethics officers and of course review trolls. Modeled after the KTL/LOC evolution.

He is issuing an order to recruit involuntary laborers starting with the following:Andy Dick, Michael Richards , Carrot Top, Pauly Shore, Sinbad, Zachary Knight "Zach" Galifianakis, Andrew “Dice” Clay, Larry the Cable Guy, Yakov Smirnoff, Tim Allen, Bob Saget , Carlos Mencia, Kathy Griffin, Jackie Martling, Joe Rogan, Doug Benson, Joe Piscopo, Dennis Miller, Chelsea Handler, Emo Phillips, and Jamie Kennedy.

If you can find any more trollish comedians please submit suggestions below. This can usher in a whole new world for Scientology.
 
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Knows

Gold Meritorious Patron
Just imagine the Scientology musicians (what is the name of those guys wearing those god-awful yellow suits that sing on the Fleecewinds)?

Here is a song dedicated to the men and women who commit their lives to trolling for Planetary Clearing....

Sung to the tune of

"Always Believe"

"ALWAYS TROLL THEE"! by David Blackheart Miscavige

"Reach out your hand and troll with me"
I have the code- the code to troll thee
The key to troll-ing is secret tek
The key to the secret is trolling the net
for Scientology!

Trolling and Lying intertwine
We trolls believe you are out of your mind
Billion year contract most trolls sign
it all makes sense to Trolls!

We'll always be trolling
Trolling the internet
confronting the suppression
The suppression out there

We're in this forever
Got to believe it
til our last breath

We are here!
Trolls to smear
SP's all the way
for Scientology!

Eww-wee Eww-wee, we believe!
Eww-wee, Eww-wee - we troll thee...

(Go back to the beginning!)
And this little ditty sung to the tune of "We Stand Tall":giggle:

*"We Troll All"
"No Turning Back"
"We Troll the Net"

Repeat *


"Troll All - Troll All!
Troll All - Troll All"
"We Troll All"



:bow:
 
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arcxcauseblows

Patron Meritorious
i'd say watch tory and mcghee's videos they are excellent at getting into the heads of scientologists as they protest, in effective ways that make them think outside the scientology mental prison
 

Some Random Guy

Patron with Honors
Sorry to throw cold water on your new tech roll out but it is squirrel.

We have just found some new Lrh materials in the attic of an old lady who was the room mate of Hubbards second cousin.

You are been lead by the blind.

Don't worry, Golden Age of Trolls II will be launched as soon as we have fundraised a billion dollars for the new Super Troll Building!
 
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