What was the first thing that made you doubt the validity of it all?
Hey Anonomog!
Ok, I used to work at a chiropractic office in San Francisco from 2003 - 2006 and the owner is a long standing Scientologist. In the three years working there never was I pressured nor was I really exposed to Scn. One day, the owner asked if I would come down to the Org. Sure, ok. Seems harmless enough. Got there, seen people reciting things to walls, doing high school indoc, playing with tinker toy type objects while they were reading books (you know, to gain mass in study...) and I just turned to him and said, "Um, this looks like the back room in a mental ward." But you know, I'm super polite, this is my boss, he invited me into his church and I contained my Jersey vernacular. I asked him if L. Ron Hubbard was still alive and he said that he willingly discarded his body to do work exterior of it. WTF? I asked him if he really believed that and he said I would have to find out how that could happen and Scientology has a way for me to do so. Now, just living in the Bay Area, the new age capital of the world, that paled in comparison with some of the other horse shit I've heard since living here. So, I finally said, "Ok, well I'll go home and look more of it up on the Internet." He said, "WHOA NO! Don't do that!!!" Huh? I can't look something up on the Internet? Now, it just so happened that that exact week, the South Park episode came out. I laughed my ass off. I also thought, "Jeesh! How strange!" It truly was bizarre. To know someone who was, at one time, super successful as a Chiropractor as well as someone that I really liked as a person believes in THAT? So, I looked more, came across Operation Clambake, etc. and as you can read in my Goldenrod I was 'heavily involved' with enemy sites before entering Scn. I was! It was incredibly interesting to me. There certainly wasn't anything like it. So, for months I read and read and read and learned more and eventually it just fell away as an interest. The person I worked for was very respectful, never brought it up again and that was that.
Moving on, I then purchased my first practice in Northern California and to make a long story short I found out that the person who had sold me her practice lied about her income from that practice for the last 3 years. Although I had seen her tax returns, she included the income of her 2 businesses on one tax return and I only bought one business. So, I hired a consultant (non-scn) and that didn't help in the least. So, one day I was sitting around my practice during lunch and a fax comes through from this WISE group with a list of 'highest evers' in income. Here I was, over $150K in debt from school, just got burned on buying a practice, had to fire my consultant and I was pretty much screwed. So, I called these guys and said, "Look, I don't want to hire you but you do have my attention. I really do need some help for my practice." We scheduled a time to meet in the next day or two, they said to be by a fax machine and a fax would come through. After I get the fax, I was to call them. Fax comes through and I'm looking at this thing and I think, this really looks familiar... where did I see this before? Ah, the 'Org Board' in the break room at my old job! It was a blank one with the 7 divisions. So, I called them up and said, "Are you guys Scientologists?" "Yeah!!!" "Um. Ok. Are you going to clear my engrams or something?" "If we have to." "Right. How much does your program cost?" "Well let's just do the interview... (aka we haven't had time to ruin your highly qualified ass yet to justify our flagrantly obnoxious prices you qualified piece of raw meat! I mean come on! First we have to RUIN you, then we have to dig into all the ways that its going EFFECT you and then you will feel a FEAR OF WORSENING as we rub more fucking salt into your wounds and then and only then will you begin to come up-tone and rise, just like we engineered you would, you soon to be ron-droid, into a state of DEMAND OF CHANGE and then NEED FOR IMPROVEMENT!) Well, all I can say is that being as young and as desperate as I was in having to find out how to get myself out of this mess, they closed me! It didn't come easy, but they did... for $25,000.00. Paid. Up. Front.
Next thing you know, I'm at their course room with a bunch of other chiropractors all of whom were extremely nice and helpful... their staff seemed alright and the whole Scn thing just seemed to take on a whole different light compared to what I had previously experienced for myself. So, I became very interested in finding out more. I became very friendly with the staff at the group, asked them lots of questions and they were just really great people. I kept asking about Xenu, Xenu, Xenu, Xenu... I want SOMEONE to tell me about Xenu. They all said they had no idea what I was talking about until I went to the store with one of the staff members to get some lunch and we were in her car together. I said, "Ok, look. You guys seem really really nice. You seem pretty normal to me, I've taken a few courses already (Ups and Downs and Personal Integrity) and I really don't see anything wrong yet with any of this. So, I want you to tell me the truth and I promise I won't say anything if it'll get you in trouble but, at some point, am I required to 'believe' in something on a level called OT III?" She said, "You don't believe in anything at that time but it's something you accept. That's all I can say." It was at that moment that I knew I couldn't fully trust it. I just had that feeling in my gut. I had that same feeling before when I first went into the SF Org. You just KNOW it's bad news somehow without really having to know anything further.
Now, this really is the readers digest version of an answer to your question and there is a lot more before, during and after that point in time. For example, when I decided to join the WISE group, I did go back to the SF Org and I walked right up to the bookstore, just as a stranger visiting and I was asking a ton of questions. Being paranoid, they sent the DSA up to keep an eye on me. I later found this out and in their classic paranoia thought I was a spy! When I heard that I was really creeped out because at that point I just wanted some information.
Anyway, I hope that answers your question.
If anyone has any questions for me feel free to ask. I'm happy to answer!
Best,
Jonathan