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Worried about family member

Discussion in 'New Member Introductions' started by concerned family, Sep 24, 2014.

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  1. degraded being

    degraded being Sponsor

    Is she hooked up with the "Church of Scientology" or with a splinter group?
    Does the group have a name?
    Are they actually doing dianetic auditing or is the Dianetics book something
    she has in addition to an interest in other groups who do "emotional clearing" - Groups who are not so closely aligned with scientology/dianetics

    Has she explained how it "works", what she actually does and what is the end result she is aiming for?

    If she tells you answers to some of those questions it might be easier find out how involved she is.

    The fact that she wants to take you to some sort of orientation doesn't sound too good. If you did decide to go, to try to suss things out, you would
    get "sugar and spice and all things nice" because that's what cult traps are made the beginning.
  2. DeeAnna

    DeeAnna Patron Meritorious

    "I’ve had fantasies of learning kung fu to fight off the CoS thugs who will see me as an enemy, or of paying a real therapist to do auditing without it leading to higher levels."

    I don't quite understand this sentence. So you know she is having auditing? And what kind of a "real therapist" would do auditing? Are you talking about a "real therapist" as one who comes from a psychological/psychiatric background, or what?
  3. Dean Blair

    Dean Blair Silver Meritorious Patron

    Google is your friend. You wouldn't buy a new TV without looking at the reviews. I just bought a new bed and before I did I reviewed the comments others who bought the bed made about it. A new dentist, a new doctor, or a new lawyer are all things that can be Googled and information good or bad can be found out about it.

    Have her Google Scientology and L Ron Hubbard. She can read the good reviews (there are not many) and the bad reviews and then decide. The org would absolutely prohibit this and for good reason. She will find out the truth and run away.
  4. Intentionally Blank

    Intentionally Blank Scientology Widow

    Hi concerned family - welcome to our little online corner of the world. I'm a never-in married to a multi-year, true believe, scn.

    I refuse to believe there is nothing you can do. (Although I absolutely will never utter the phrase "something can be done about it" :biggrin: - sorry, inside joke ) There are all kinds of things you can do - possibly the most important being to love and support your family member. Be engaged, be kind, be caring, do things together .... you know .... all the stuff that good solid relationships are made of. Because no matter where she goes with this - passing fancy or headlong into insanity - a solid base will help minimize damage.

    Yes. ^^^^

    and ... YES ^^^^

    If it was me? I would go. (Actually, I do go with my spouse.) I go. I smile. I nod. I make nice. I mumble some kind of pleasant excuse as to why I can't be on course, do auditing, or whatever else they try to sell me. This way, I am never seen as the enemy and the defensive triggers of my spouse or the folks at the org are not raised. This gives me leverage.

    I listen. And then I innocently ask questions. Leading questions. You are able to do far more of this than I am because your family member isn't a full blown true believer with implanted mind controlling defensive triggers. Questions - framed with curiosity and interest - are your best weapons.

    "Wow honey - isn't that interesting about [fill in the blank] let's see what else we can find online about that. [snuggle up with a shared laptop if possible] Ooooo .... wowwww.... that's a little freaky - I wonder why someone would write that? Let's look a little more. Hmmm ..... well that's interesting."

    If you can appear legitimately interested and on her side you can possibly gently lead her to see what you know. As soon as you become the opposition she will fight you. That's not just cult indoctrination - it's human nature ... at least for many of us.

    Memorize and use this quote from the Creed of Scientology (if you've been exposed to it). Use it, kindly and with curiosity, when your loved one resists criticisms of the teachings or any other aspect of the cult. "That all men have inalienable rights to think freely, to talk freely, to write freely their own opinions and to counter or utter or write upon the opinions of others."

    Best of luck to you!

  5. Veda

    Veda Sponsor

    Phenomanon's advice, above, is good.

    :) Recommend not going to the "orientation."

    If you were to go, you might be sized up as an "anti-Scientologist," hence a "Suppressive Person."

    It may be that she will just have to spend some time and some money (hopefully not too much) finding out what Scientology is for herself.

    If you maintain amiable relations with her, then at least you'll be someone she can come to when she becomes disillusioned with Scientology.

    By the way, this is part four of the old "Orientation" video - made available by 'Anonymous':


    The fellow featured in it as the presenter has since left Scientology.
  6. concerned family

    concerned family New Member

    I don't know the answer to these things, and have been wanting to find out. I don't want to go into inquisition mode though, especially since I'm currently still a bit freaked about what I've been reading. I don't want to push her away.

    I am not 100% sure she is having auditing, but it's at least close, since she says the dianetics book is the theory behind it. Ya, I meant psychological background when I said real. I don't really know what auditing consists of, but I think the thing she likes is the "regressive therapy" where you go back to traumatic memories and think about them until they aren't so bothersome. Maybe a real therapist could do that without it leading to "remembering" past lives or whatever.

    Also thanks for the different thoughts on going to orientation. You all are really supportive.:)
  7. Enthetan

    Enthetan Master of Disaster

    I agree. Nothing good would come from going, for the reasons Veda lays out. You would be pressured to give reasons why you don't want to find out more about Scientology, and one thing would lead to another.

    You want to keep a low profile as far as the org is concerned.
  8. Purple Rain

    Purple Rain Crusader

    If you want to know how to approach a cult member as family you have to read Steve Hassan. Don't remember the book title I'm sorry, but it is specifically oriented towards how to speak to them.

    Edit: Okay, the book is Freedom of Mind.

    I met Steve in person, and he's amazing. Here he is speaking with my much loved recently departed friend, Denise.

  9. degraded being

    degraded being Sponsor

    Thanks, that clarifies it a bit. If she is hooked up with the church of scientology and If she lives at the same address as you, you will probably see Church of Scientology promotional stuff quite soon, or she will say something soon enough to indicate she is hooked up with the "Church". The Church of scientology has a far more organised trap than splinter groups who are using Dianetic "auditing".
    I think it would be good to know which it is because the advice or help you want will be a bit different according to the situation. I understand that you don't want to go into inquisition mode but I also think that you don't need to be overly anxious about a simple enquiry "Is this the Church of Scientology, or is it a group who uses auditing/clearing outside the church of scientology?" as long as it is given as simple curiosity and not to corner her. However I don't want to dictate what you should ask her, either.
  10. phenomanon

    phenomanon Canyon

    If it's Regression she is interested in, Hypnotism can accomplish in 1 hour what Dianetics does in 50 hours, and get the same result for a ton less money.
  11. Claire Swazey

    Claire Swazey Spokeshole, fence sitter

    Emotional clearing? That phrase is news to me. But maybe that's someone's paraphrase.
  12. Claire Swazey

    Claire Swazey Spokeshole, fence sitter

    About 15 years ago, some old guard critics and exes calculated this amount to be 350k. I know of people who've spent twice that. If you throw in the incredibly lengthy periods of time on OTVII with the 6 month sec checks and the Ls and stuff like that...
  13. Demented LRH

    Demented LRH Patron Meritorious

    I used the book, Messiah or Madman? by Coridon to persuade my two friends to leave the Church of Scientology, and was successful. Each one of them spent 6 months working for the cult, they were in the initial brainwashing stages, so my strategy worked. Deeper involvement requires more drastic measures, I would imagine. If it is possible, a person should be isolated from the cult and subjected to some form of psychological treatment.
  14. Enthetan

    Enthetan Master of Disaster

    It's even more than that, if you figure in the monetary value of damage to your business or career from having to be away from work for long periods getting "services".
  15. eldritch cuckoo

    eldritch cuckoo brainslugged reptilian

    Affirmative. That's my opinion. :whistling:
    - But sadly, :police: and so you'll have to :read: and :fencing: , so that one :bait:, and you get them :spitcoffee: . And ofcourse, :console: in time, since the culty environment lacks that mostly. And if its lulzy or you're :flames: , one does some :guyfawkes:.
  16. Claire Swazey

    Claire Swazey Spokeshole, fence sitter

    Gotta be careful with that shit- can get sued.
  17. eldritch cuckoo

    eldritch cuckoo brainslugged reptilian

    No, REALLY? :biggrin: Thanks for the warning... :coolwink:

    I have ALSO come to the conclusion, though, that to conduct this properly (thus, not the way it's been done occasionally - and in movies), a medium sized remote villa with forged (not up to date) floor plans and additional funds of around 50000 € would be needed. Four persons, three of them women. Well, and some stuff I'd rather not specify. Oh and the involvement of a doctor (possibly one who has lost the right to practise orso), to decide for a necessary termination and to take the person to a hospital, because if the moron dies, for example from hurting himself successfully, oh yeah, then you're all in major trouble. Otherwise if it's a fail, it's "just" deprivation of liberty, coercion, enforced substance abuse, and some shit of which I don't know exactly how that's called by a court. Ofcourse there can be multiple other shit happenings. Well, and in the case of Scientology, they would utterly fuck up your life, sure enough. :biggrin:
  18. Lurker5

    Lurker5 Gold Meritorious Patron

  19. concerned family

    concerned family New Member

    I'm still here, just not much to update. I promise to tell y'all if anything exciting happens.

    For the "emotional clearing" thing- it could just be me misremembering, or maybe she just called it that. I haven't heard it again, and I've since heard other terms (like reactive) popping into her vocabulary. The goal is to get clear, right, so maybe that's what i heard.

    I have started perusing this Dianetics book, to see what she's into I guess.
  20. Purple Rain

    Purple Rain Crusader

    That's great! Tony Ortega and Vance Woodward have blogged that whole book starting with the first chapter here:

    It might be an interesting comparison to see how your thoughts on the book match theirs.

    I'd be interested to hear as you go, anyway.