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You are a deluded Scientologist if...

Discussion in 'General Scientology Discussion' started by Churchill, Jul 17, 2014.

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  1. Churchill

    Churchill Gold Meritorious Patron

    you believe that only Scientologists can help an accident victim.
    (Does the name Lisa MacPherson mean anything to you?)

    You are a deluded Scientologist if...

    you believe Scientology is expanding.

    You are a deluded Scientologist if...

    you believe the Nation of Islam is a non-racist, benevolent,

    America - loving, non radical Islamic group.

    You are a deluded Scientologist if...

    you're not bothered that

    you have a wall full of plaques, and your house is being

    foreclosed, and you are forbidden to speak with close family members.
  2. Dean Blair

    Dean Blair Silver Meritorious Patron

    That reminds me of the "You might be a redneck if..." jokes.

    If you believe your body is composed of millions of invisible beings that cause you aches, pains, and irrational behavior... you might be a deluded Scientologist.

    If you believe that there are several levels above OT 8... you might me a deluded Scientologist.

    If you believe that David Miscavige is doing anything other than serving his own ends ... you might be a deluded Scientologist.

    If you don't know who Tony Ortega is... you might be a deluded Scientologist.

    There are a lot of things that could be added to your list. Thanks for posting.
  3. Jump

    Jump Operating teatime

    - if your home library only has Hubbard materials.

    - if you think in-office frontal lobotomies are a current treatment option.

    - if you think Tommy Davis has been sent onto Special Projects.

    - if you think Hubbard has a distinguished war record.

    - if you think DC8's were navigating interstellar space 73 million years ago.

    - if you think the entire Universe is over 13.7 billion years old.

    - if you think it is a privilege to work 72 hours straight, phoning disgruntled people.

    - if you think L.Ron Hubbard was not some fat deluded narcissistic con man.

  4. MostlyLurker

    MostlyLurker Patron Meritorious

    .. if you are a scientologist at all.

    cannot be otherwise
  5. Churchill

    Churchill Gold Meritorious Patron

    you find a limited edition, gold embossed on leather copy of Buckskin Brigades that you paid $3500 for...

    ...on eBay with an asking price of $50, and no bids.
  6. strativarius

    strativarius Inveterate gnashnab & snoutband

    Not an unpleasant personal experience of yours I hope. (Speaking as one who was deluded enough to part with some hard-earned cash for one of the Connodore's books, but not anything like the amount you mention above.)
  7. ForLease

    ForLease Maximus Squirrel

    You think a plaza between two broken-down buildings on Fountain is a great place to party... four times in three weeks.
  8. Operating DB

    Operating DB Truman Show Dropout believe there is a bridge to total freedom.
  9. everfree

    everfree Patron Meritorious

    If SO members of your family have ever been pressured to abort their babies so that Miscavige can avoid paying for childcare while accumulating great wealth and you still think he is awesome, you might be a deluded Scientologist.

    If you think that paying for lawyers is more important than caring for the families of your workers, you might be a sociopath.
  10. anonomog

    anonomog Gold Meritorious Patron

    I can't be 100% sure, but I think this one was written by a Scientologist. Deluded?

    "Some new student having trouble with something at the church, course, his auditing … he unwittingly stoops upon ESMB for advice, 2 months later he’s also psycho-nattering at the top of his lungs on the boards. It’s a slow-gradual flushing spiritual toilet, and the ethics cases on these type of boards very adroitly see to it you find your salvation in terms of “Freedom from the CO$ in the wog world”, ie. their own concept of relief from their overts. All just bank. Application of the PTS/SP tech is in order. They have sufficient power to enturbulate/restimulate that LRH had dedicated a substantial amount of work in how to deal with them."
  11. everfree

    everfree Patron Meritorious

    More like, the truth they speak cuts through all of the mind control efforts by Hubbard to keep his followers in a thought bubble that he controlled completely in order to control and dominate them completely, apparently to get all of their money and/or get them to agree to be his slaves.
  12. Infinite

    Infinite Troublesome Internet Fringe Dweller


    - if you [STRIKE]believe[/STRIKE] KNOW there is such a thing as an Engram as defined by L Ron Hubbard

    - if you [STRIKE]believe[/STRIKE] KNOW tolerating abuse being yelled at you is a valid form of training

    - if you [STRIKE]believe[/STRIKE] KNOW learning a subject stops the moment go past a word you didn't understand

    - if you [STRIKE]believe[/STRIKE] KNOW massive doses of niacin is good for you
  13. guanoloco

    guanoloco As-Wased think this:



    ... may be a preferred form of contraception to this:

  14. Churchill

    Churchill Gold Meritorious Patron

    you didn't run to the nearest exit when Hubbard said he was nearly run over by a

    locomotive on Venus.
  15. lotus

    lotus stubborn rebel sheep!


    Is it true ????? :unsure:

    Right after he ''landed'' with a sort of DC8 ????

    An obscene dog zingzing on his leg?????
  16. Churchill

    Churchill Gold Meritorious Patron

    Yes, lotus. He actually said it.
  17. Churchill

    Churchill Gold Meritorious Patron

    you solemnly signed a billion year contract without consulting a lawyer or a psychiatrist.
  18. everfree

    everfree Patron Meritorious

    Yep, the train on Venus quote is real. It is from a SHSBC lecture entitled "The Between Lives Implant"

    In it, Hubbard is describing an "out of body" or "remote viewing" experience wherein he claims to have visited an alien outpost while without a body.

    The lecture is described here but the transcription has been removed:
  19. NoName

    NoName A Girl Has No Name

    Not to mention the obscene dog swallowing then shitting out disembodied thetans (different incident though).
  20. Itis

    Itis Patron

    If you are still in the church. :no: :hattip: