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You might be a Scientologist...

onthepes

Patron with Honors
your "havingness" is that you bought a foot-long from Subway rather than the 6 incher. You reflect silently on this, acknowledging you are now in "abundance".
 

olska

Silver Meritorious Patron
You approach making grocery lists, lists of "things to do," projects you might want to complete this year, and Christmas gift lists with anxiety, for fear you might develop "out list" phenomena.
 

guanoloco

As-Wased
...if your requests for oral sex are written in a CSW format including a "This is OK" signature tag and checkbox.
 

HelluvaHoax!

Platinum Meritorious Sponsor with bells on
if...

You start a new business - like cleaning houses and name it:

Theta Cleaning Services:omg:

"Clear" Cleaning Inc.

Any business that uses the "Jargon Junk" in their name - well, you just may be a Scientologist! What sucks is when you get out - you have to change the name!!


LOLOL

O...you start a cosmetic store and name it Upstat Prosurvival Mockups.

Or....you start a bug exterminating company and call it Dynamic Survival Power Intentions. And the artwork on your advertising is a rocket ship hurtling thru space, strangely similar to the ones found in Source Magazine.
 

HelluvaHoax!

Platinum Meritorious Sponsor with bells on
...

You might be a Scientologist if...

One day after a Solo Nots session you notice that the retaining wall behind your house is falling down. So you smile to yourself and send an OT Success Story to Advance! Magazine, alluding to the earlier similar big win regarding the Berlin Wall.
 

HelluvaHoax!

Platinum Meritorious Sponsor with bells on
...
You might be a Scientologist if...

Your money flows are crashed and you are totally caved in but you make it go right to borrow $7,000 on your charge cards (that you can't afford to repay) for an intensive of Review to find your Why. And you use up all the hours running O/Ws on how you secretly tried to sell your old set of LRH books on eBay instead of burning them as told and buying the Basics.

And when the auditor asked you "How did you justify that?" you said: "I justified it because I felt I was responsible for paying my charge cards that I used to buy those old squirrel books from the org instead of doing what is greatest good and donating the money for a new set of Basic Books.

And your needled floated.

And later that day they sent you to the Examiner and asked if you wanted to attest that your Review was complete. And you attested without any doubts or reservations.

And then wrote a success story about how you handled the Why that was stopping your money flows.
 

HelluvaHoax!

Platinum Meritorious Sponsor with bells on
...


If you see this photo of Ron and think to yourself: "Wow, Ron was really OT! He could play two organs at the same time!"


1LRHcolour.jpg
 

Osiris

Patron with Honors
You may be a Scientologist if you sleep in your car.....

in between going from your Wog Job,

to going to your Scientology Job on Staff at the Org...... :yes:
 

Free Being Me

Crusader
You might be a $cientologist .......

If any of these pictures inspire a sudden urge to open your wallet and clap uncontrollably while repeating the word theta until your mind shuts down in instinctive self preservation.

l_ron_hubbard_1973.jpg

pt_1586_7771_o.jpg

Marty-Rathbun-angry-face-282x300.jpg

rinder1.jpg

steve-hall-lrg.jpg
 
You might be a Scientologist if you believe Scientology means Knowing How to Know and you refuse to go on the internet to know anything else about Scientology.

Mimsey
 

Idle Morgue

Gold Meritorious Patron
You might be a Scientologist if you think Kirstie Alley is really Oatee - cuz she stopped using Cocaine and Scientology HELPED her - but she cannot lose one pound! You look at EP for the Oat Tea - and she should be at cause but you are a dedicated Scientologist and have the skills and ability to dismiss the rational thinking...somewhere along the line someone told you "you don't know where she started from"!:ohmy: And you say to yourself "I don't know where she started"~

Well, let's see where she started from and where she is now!

Her before she became CAUSE!
^

767071_f520.jpg
Kirstie Alley after going Oat Tea!

Kirstie Alley is sooooooooo Oat Tea - she needs WEIGHT WATCHER'S to lose weight? What happened to her Oat Tea abilities she gained from the million dollars spent on her Bridge to total spiritual freedom? :ohmy::whistling::unsure::eyeroll::biggrin:
 

GoNuclear

Gold Meritorious Patron
...


If you see this photo of Ron and think to yourself: "Wow, Ron was really OT! He could play two organs at the same time!"


1LRHcolour.jpg

Good one. As far as playing two organs at once, I would have shooped the picture to have him playing the organ with one hand and jacking off with the other.

Pete
 
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