Worried about family member

[concerned family]

Hi. I found your board looking for advice. A loved one has started going to "emotional clearing" sessions, and I recently noticed a copy of Dianetics in the house. I think I know where this leads, and I don't like it. I've read a bit about these subjects online, including a few personal accounts. Also, the links in the sticky in this forum are good, will spend more time with them. However, most of the resources seem to be for those who have gotten deeper or been in longer. Also, I don't see much about what family can do.

So, my question is- are there resources out there on how to help someone get out, before they get too deep?

Thanks!

 

[Smurf]

Hi. I found your board looking for advice. A loved one has started going to "emotional clearing" sessions, and I recently noticed a copy of Dianetics in the house. I think I know where this leads, and I don't like it. I've read a bit about these subjects online, including a few personal accounts. Also, the links in the sticky in this forum are good, will spend more time with them. However, most of the resources seem to be for those who have gotten deeper or been in longer. Also, I don't see much about what family can do.

If the loved one is an adult..No.. there is nothing you can do, physically or legally. You can try to talk to him/her with what objective (factual) information is available to you,. I suggest you take the time to read the very informative threads on this board & do a Google search on topics. Good Luck.

 

[Leland]

Hi. I found your board looking for advice. A loved one has started going to "emotional clearing" sessions, and I recently noticed a copy of Dianetics in the house. I think I know where this leads, and I don't like it. I've read a bit about these subjects online, including a few personal accounts. Also, the links in the sticky in this forum are good, will spend more time with them. However, most of the resources seem to be for those who have gotten deeper or been in longer. Also, I don't see much about what family can do.

So, my question is- are there resources out there on how to help someone get out, before they get too deep?

Thanks!

The main thing to me, about Dianetics.....is it says basically that "the human mind has been figured out and can be fixed " This is a lie. It is not true....and if you , via talking with your family member....can point this out....and show that it is a lie....you might break the "spell" of it in his/her mind...and thereby stop their interest in this subject....

Dianetics comes across all "scientific" and all....but this too is a lie....It is not scientific at all.

 

[Lulu Belle]

If the loved one is an adult..No.. there is nothing you can do, physically or legally. You can try to talk to him/her with what objective (factual) information is available to you,. I suggest you take the time to read the very informative threads on this board & do a Google search on topics. Good Luck.

what he said.

 

[concerned family]

Yes, an adult. Thanks for the replies. I've heard of interventions, but that again seems like something for folks in deeper. At this stage, it seems it would just alienate the interveners from her. (like this: http://www.culteducation.com/prep_faq.html )

I also saw these on xenu.net, but they just say to contact them for their services...
https://freedomofmind.com//Services/help1.php
http://www.escapeint.org/help/help_pages.htm
Theres a little decent general advice, but it's pretty minimal.

Anyway, thanks for the welcome. I hope to not be a long time forums member (not because you all don't seem nice! :wink2 but good to know this board is here.

 

[Enthetan]

To some extent, it's useful to look at such a person like you would somebody who is starting to get into drugs.

Once they get past "Introductory Services", things get expensive. They get pressured to spend lots of money on it. They run out of money and are pressured to go into debt and borrow from family and friends. Under no circumstances loan them money.

If they talk to you about Dianetics, read the section on "Clear". Then ask them "This Clear stuff is interesting/ Have you ever met a Clear? Did he exhibit all the advertised qualities from the book? If not, why not?".

The reason somebody gets into Scientology may be similar to why somebody gets into other things: there is a deep-seated unhappiness with how he currently is.

 

[concerned family]

I guess really I posted in the hopes that there is something I can do. More and more I think I’m learning there isn’t. It’s a humbling experience of helplessness, like being told she’s HIV positive or something. I’ve had fantasies of learning kung fu to fight off the CoS thugs who will see me as an enemy, or of paying a real therapist to do auditing without it leading to higher levels. But these are just fantasies; no thugs will care about me, and trying to recreate my own dianetics is just desperation. Sigh, thanks for reading…

To some extent, it's useful to look at such a person like you would somebody who is starting to get into drugs.

It has certainly felt that way already.

 

[WildKat]

Get the book "Bare Faced Messiah" (about L. Ron Hubbard) by Russell Miller and read it, then loan it to them. Might wake them up.

But if they are an adult, all you can really do is talk to them and try to help but don't try to force. Maybe suggest they do a little internet research as well.

These days, anybody who doesn't fully check out any organization before getting involved deeply, well..... the information is there, but they have to want to look.

Good luck.

 

[degraded being]

Get the book "Bare Faced Messiah" (about L. Ron Hubbard) by Russell Miller and read it, then loan it to them. Might wake them up.

But if they are an adult, all you can really do is talk to them and try to help but don't try to force. Maybe suggest they do a little internet research as well.

These days, anybody who doesn't fully check out any organization before getting involved deeply, well..... the information is there, but they have to want to look.

Good luck.

^^^^^

 

[Beam-Me-Up-Scotty]

I remember when I originally became involved. The 'donation' concept really got me thinking about the credibility of the Organisation. Another thing rather offputting is the price of going up the Bridge. I have not been in for over 20 years now. But I guess it could be around $200,000.00 or more to get up the Bridge. I personally have only partially recovered financially from the output when I was young. I am now getting close to retiring with limited financial capacity after raising a family.

Actually I would like an update on how much services cost these days.

Looking back I would have been happier if my family did anything in their power, including threatening or disconnecting from me just to make me wake up to myself. But then again I probably would have not taken any notice.

Good luck with it.

 

[Veda]

Hi. I found your board looking for advice. A loved one has started going to "emotional clearing" sessions, and I recently noticed a copy of Dianetics in the house. I think I know where this leads, and I don't like it. I've read a bit about these subjects online, including a few personal accounts. Also, the links in the sticky in this forum are good, will spend more time with them. However, most of the resources seem to be for those who have gotten deeper or been in longer. Also, I don't see much about what family can do.

So, my question is- are there resources out there on how to help someone get out, before they get too deep?

Thanks!

Suggest talking to your loved one to determine just how deeply he's involved.

It may just be a passing interest.

If it's more than that, advise him not to give Scientology Inc. large sums of money.

Suggest that he wait and do some more reading.

Dianetics is an imperfect subject that can sometimes provide "wins," but the goal of Dianetics, which is Clear, has never been attained - even though watered down "states of Clear" are still being sold.

Suggest reading the (1987, 1992, 1996) book, 'L. Ron Hubbard, Messiah or Madman?'

If your loved one has descended deeply enough into Scientology Inc., then you're going to have to be patient and gentle. Telling him that everything he's come to believe (in Dianetics) as true, is really false, may not be very effective, and may backfire. Be willing to allow him to be right about some things. Otherwise you'll lose him.

He is a novice, and may be excited.

Make it plain that, no matter what, you'll always be there for him, or her.

Be willing to listen.

As a final resort, tell him that the organization is corrupt and is not properly applying the "tech," but that others - outside of Scientology Inc. - are applying the "tech," at lower prices, and in a freer environment.

PS: The piece 'Scientological Onion' is shorter and gentler than the 'Madman?' book, and may be a better choice of reading matter for your loved one.

http://exscn.net/content/view/178/105/index.html

 

[Enthetan]

I guess really I posted in the hopes that there is something I can do. More and more I think I’m learning there isn’t. It’s a humbling experience of helplessness, like being told she’s HIV positive or something. I’ve had fantasies of learning kung fu to fight off the CoS thugs who will see me as an enemy, or of paying a real therapist to do auditing without it leading to higher levels. But these are just fantasies; no thugs will care about me, and trying to recreate my own dianetics is just desperation. Sigh, thanks for reading…

One nice thing is that there are a bunch of Hubbard tapes on the YouTube

[video=youtube;x0AFVVToZsY]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x0AFVVToZsY&list=PL9vWueQa_IrIjP0wXwzx6j06fZcbODndB[/video]

Position the first one to the 1:04 mark. If he's listened to any Hubbard recordings, he will likely recognize the voice.

 

[freethinker]

I had a friend who used this on a died in the wool Scientologist.

In the Scientology ethics book are what is called the Conditions of Existence.

One of those Conditions is Doubt.

The Conditions each have steps.

The Conditon of Doubt has the step of...

Inform oneself honestly and without bias as to the true intentions of the group one is part of and the true intentions of the group one is planning to join.

Using that above step, he had the Scientologist look online and see for himself what Scientology was about from those who left and compare that to what he was being told in the Church.

And he did.

He is now a fringe Scientologist which is someone who is "on the fence" about Scientology.

For some people it takes a long time to figure it out.

Seeing as how he is new to it, it may not take much to "figure it out"

So I would tell this person that they should know both sides of the story before they make any "permanent decision".

It's just a suggestion. It did get this other person to look.

 

[Kookaburra]

Get the book "Bare Faced Messiah" (about L. Ron Hubbard) by Russell Miller and read it, then loan it to them. Might wake them up.

But if they are an adult, all you can really do is talk to them and try to help but don't try to force. Maybe suggest they do a little internet research as well.

These days, anybody who doesn't fully check out any organization before getting involved deeply, well..... the information is there, but they have to want to look.

Good luck.

^^^^^^^ THIS ^^^^^^^

Just tell them that they need to do their homework before they get involved in something or buy something or invest in something. It's never been easier. Tell them the internet is littered with Scientology casualties and they need to be aware of the hazards of what they are doing. And that is the real reason why they have been told not to google Scientology.

Bare Faced Messiah is a real eye opener and very well researched. It addresses point by point the Scientology version of L Ron Hubbards biography with the real story.

 

[Little David]

The 1991 TIME magazine cover story has worked for some people I know and the Tom Cruise Scientology video has worked for others. Age, IQ, common sense etc. all effect what works best to teach someone that Scientology is a con artist's scam.

 

[Miss Ellie]

I would spend some quality time with them. Find new adventures to go on, take a trip, do some culture things like concerts and museums. Really listen to what they say, what do they want and need from the sciobots? Then help them find the answer for themselves.

IF they start finding answers on their own and having more fun doing new things the interest may fade.... if not at least you got some quality time before they go into the void.

I would not attack full on go in the back door.

Good luck and am very glad you love them enough to try to get help.

 

[concerned family]

Thanks y'all. So definitely no confrontations, but gently encourage her to see for herself other points of view. I think I had naturally been using that strategy, but recently started freaking out when I read more, so thanks for telling me not to do anything drastic.

Another question- she's been asking if I'd like to come to some orientation? or overview? Something like that. Earlier I thought it was just some alt- therapy thing and was like sure, I'll come some time. Now I see the full picture, I don't know. Do I go? Will they see I'm wise to them and cut me out? Or will they use some trickery and suck me in too? Both of those sound ridiculous, but not nearly as ridiculous as many of the real accounts out there.

 

[FlagEmDown]

Maybe just giving them this link to see what, as of today, 2388 former members have to say about scientology would help.
https://sites.google.com/site/biglistthatleftscientology/home

 

[AnonLover]

Thanks y'all. So definitely no confrontations, but gently encourage her to see for herself other points of view. I think I had naturally been using that strategy, but recently started freaking out when I read more, so thanks for telling me not to do anything drastic.

Here's a great resource for doing that, see Chapters 5-7 & 10-11:

Coping with Cult Involvement: A Handbook for Families and Friends. Second edition. By Livia Bardin, M.S.W., American Family Foundation 2000. http://bit.ly/1mKfgf0

Another question- she's been asking if I'd like to come to some orientation? or overview? Something like that. Earlier I thought it was just some alt- therapy thing and was like sure, I'll come some time. Now I see the full picture, I don't know. Do I go? Will they see I'm wise to them and cut me out? Or will they use some trickery and suck me in too? Both of those sound ridiculous, but not nearly as ridiculous as many of the real accounts out there.

Do this, after learning as much as you can about what your family member is getting into. (which may require stalling a bit before you do it). It will give you the opportunity to have an open and honest discussion about what they are getting sucked into. And it will improve your chances that they will hear you out, rather than shut you out, when you do have that talk.

 

[phenomanon]

Thanks y'all. So definitely no confrontations, but gently encourage her to see for herself other points of view. I think I had naturally been using that strategy, but recently started freaking out when I read more, so thanks for telling me not to do anything drastic.

Another question- she's been asking if I'd like to come to some orientation? or overview? Something like that. Earlier I thought it was just some alt- therapy thing and was like sure, I'll come some time. Now I see the full picture, I don't know. Do I go? Will they see I'm wise to them and cut me out? Or will they use some trickery and suck me in too? Both of those sound ridiculous, but not nearly as ridiculous as many of the real accounts out there.

Tell her that you have read some 'stuff' about Scientology, and you don't want to get involved with it.
She will try to handle any objection that you come up with. Tell her that the prices escalate as one becomes more involved. That you read somewhere that it costs half a million dollars, and that ppl will mortgage their homes and go into bankruptcy just to keep on learning 'it'.
Listen to what she answers. Smile and say " OK, Honey", it's just not something I am interested in right now.
Keep on smiling

When next the subject comes up., repeat the mantra.
Or you can tell her that you used to know a woman who ran their ( Org) and she said that they wouldn't let her family talk to her when she left.
Whatever she replies, say "OK' ( firmly) Honey ( softly). and smile.