CommunicatorIC
@IndieScieNews on Twitter
Besides the theme articulated in the title, also interesting for the description of the environment at RTC.
From the fundamentalist KSW Wahhabi IS blog.
http://www.iscientology.org/scientology-blog/407-i-just-don-t-get-it
From the fundamentalist KSW Wahhabi IS blog.
http://www.iscientology.org/scientology-blog/407-i-just-don-t-get-it
I just don't get it
By Lana Mitchell
When I was “promoted” to work in RTC in 1994, I had no real concept of what RTC, as an organization was. I knew little of Scientology’s history – having only arrived in the SO in 1988 in Australia, and having started study in Scientology in 1986, after LRH’s passing. I was, to that degree, a perfect candidate for RTC. I was pliable. I was someone who could be told pretty much anything, and I would believe it. Well… so it was thought.
But there was a problem.
I would stand in line at muster and David Miscavige, as Chairman of the Board (COB) and as head of the organization, would stand at the front, briefing the organisation on the latest “flap”. It was routinely over-the-top natter and critical statements/name-calling of Ray Mithoff, the then-Snr C/S Int, or Marc Yager, the then-CO CMO Int, or some other executive not present.
The subjects of the natter were the executives I had been working under until that time. I had the utmost respect for them – yet from that time, it became clear that this was not the view held by Miscavige.
It is interesting to sit back, in hindsight, and look at group bank in full dramatization and how this can impinge on your life. A comment from Tom Martiniano to my last article (The wrong thing to do is nothing) got me thinking about this, as Tom mentioned that he had been sitting at the same LRH Tape Plays as me, with similar thoughts to mine. But we both sat there. We both obeyed instruction. And neither of us spoke up (nor did the other 700+ people present).
Have you ever been involved with a group and silently gone along with things, even though you had doubts or unanswered questions?
Well back to my story.
Back in the mid 90’s, I would stand at RTC musters – or sit in RTC staff meetings, and listen and do my best to be a model RTC staff member. I did my best to duplicate what was wanted from seniors and carry out orders, even if they did not make sense.
There are many examples where I, operating as an RTC robot, did things I have come to deeply regret. I think the worst one was being sent “down the hill” from the Middle Villas to Del Sol (the building where CMO Int and Exec Strata were houses before they were moved to their trailer Hole). I was handed two golden rod issues by my senior, Dianne Larsson, who was the D/IG Internal Affairs. Both issues cancelled the auditing certificates of a Class XII Auditor. The first was John Eastment, former Snr C/S Int, and the other was Sandy Wilhere, both of them former Flag Class XII auditors who had dedicated their lives to auditing and helping others.
The issues had been written by Dianne, at the order of Marty, at the order of COB, based on a COB inspection of Qual Gold. Both John and Sandy had been drilling on the new (and not yet released) Golden Age of Tech drills and had been approached by COB who had asked them something along the lines of if they were having any trouble with the new drills and reads simulator (a trick question which is similar to do you still beat your wife)? Their answers were evidence that they were CI and later that day, I headed “down the hill” to deliver these two golden rod issues that were not just arbitrary and an injustice, but were wiping out the past and future of two Class XIIs who had a better understanding of the tech than COB has ever had.
The resultant cave-in of both auditors was enough for me to know that something was terribly wrong. There was no truth in those issues. There was no “blowing of charge” or “as-isness” for me, for them or for the group. This was COB doing what he does best – taking off people’s heads, and I was the one holding the cleaver and left to mop up the blood.
This one incident, led to one of my many post removals in RTC – as I kept trying to understand and resolve the situation for these two individuals. I had not been at the inspection, had no briefing from COB, from Marty or from Dianne, and all I had were two issues that were vague generalities. I persisted in trying to understand and sort it out with standard policy, which COB then found out about and I was sent to dig trenches for “fraternizing” with Sandy Wilhere and sympathizing with her on her certificate cancellation.
I did not get what I did wrong. I was truly confused. My own post removal was done in front of the entire org and was done by COB personally – and there was only one stable datum – I had screwed up.
I had no clue what the heck was right or wrong. After many such screw ups, I tried to toe the line and just stay out of trouble.
Being an untrained Clear (meaning no auditor training) I became real unstable. I was wobbly and had no certainty. My intentions were good (despite the 30 + RTC Assessments I received to find my evil purposes and destructive/counter intentions). I was persuaded to disconnect from my non-Scn father as a handling for my rollercoaster and perpetual mistakes. I was even given a PDH Plant check at one point – and was finally ejected from the org in late 1999, with a Comm Ev that stated I was “unable to think straight”.
But – back to the purpose of this article – THE main problem with me was not PTSness, it was not psychosis, and it was not actually being a robot – though I had to a degree become all three. The actual problem was I was not being trained in the subject of Scientology itself – as if I had been thus trained, I would have had the certainty and strength of understanding of the subject to be able to look the group bank in the eye and say – “To hell with you – piss off!”
Instead – I went into a figure-figure in my own head – thinking that it was only me that was out of step. That it was only me that could not follow COB’s rants and raves. That it was only me that was reading volumes of COB orders each week and unable to make heads or tails of them. That it was only me that found this all very confusing and felt they did not belong. I went into the Sea Org as an extroverted, communicative and dynamic individual. I left it in 2005 as a cowed, shadow of my former self.
I just didn’t get it.
But I do now.
They always say that hindsight vision is perfect – and that is true enough. But I feel so strongly on this subject at this time that I felt the need to write it up for others.
The best weapon against the group bank is training and working as an auditor. That does not mean you have to hang out a shingle – but it means that you work to steadily train and help others with the tech, in whatever capacity.
The more I train and the more I audit, the more stable I become, as an individual, as a parent, and as a group member.
And the more I get it.
