Addicted to Self Improvement

[Boojuum]

I got into Scientology because I wanted to be better--smarter and more successful with the opposite sex. It was very apparent that other people who were very similar to me were smarter and had girlfriends.

The folks who got me involved with cos were brilliant and doing great things. The other scienos I met were very cool.

As I became more involved I came to believe that I WAS smarter and the girlfriend thing took a long time to sort out.

I was audited and trained and read LRH endlessly under the certainty that I was getting better, you know, more able, smarter with an amazing insight into the minds of others.

Scientology informed me that my troubles could be solved by addressing me as a spiritual being. I thought that as a more capable spiritual being my problems would be solved.

Eventually, I viewed my needs as spiritual, only to be solved by more spiritual counselling. And then, everything would fall into place.

As I read more LRH, I developed the sense that I could develop many, many new ways to be more able, smarter and spiritual. Life would become more of a game and I'd be less at the effect of it all.

The basic belief that I could get better was repeatedly enforced as part of the fabric of being "in" Scientology. As long as I thought that I could get much better, I wanted to be involved and was willing to make the sacrifice of my time and career and relationships.

The carrot on the stick that kept me reaching was all about self-improvement.

I've been out for 20 years but still the overpowering hope that I can get better lingers like an addictive drug.

Idiotic management drove me out. I enjoyed the auditing and training.

The irrepressible urge to improve is so very alluring.

 

[Demented LRH]

I got into Scientology because I thought that I was smarter than Hubbard (no kidding!) In his Dianetics book Hubbard wrote that more research in the Dianetics field is needed; I thought I could do that research and become a famous scientist – this is something that Hubbard never achieved; very few people outside Scientology know about him. My goal was to reach Calls V Auditor level and start my own research. I never got to Class V level because, while being at Level 0, I realized that Dianetics is a sham.

 

[Gadfly]

Well, just about ANY path involves an urge towards self-improvement or betterment.

People often participate in religions, philosophies and ideologies because they see some lack or flaw in themselves, and they have the notion that if they solve these flaws or lacks, that their life will be "better". There is some truth to that. People DO HAVE many flaws, weaknesses, lacks and limitations at ANY stage along their existance and growth.

Even a college education is aimed at self-improvement.

If one views life and even the whole universe as a constant process of "evolution", then the idea of "learning" never ends.

And, I would say that there is NO human alive who "knows it all", and who couldn't benefit by adding other viewpoints to his or her arsenal.

If the universe is some grand design where "God" unfolds and becomes discovered by EVERY speck of consciousness within it, and since the possibilities are truly endless, I doubt that sincere learning and the urge towards "self-improvement" will end anytime soon. Granted some people give up on it, and get very jaded after experiences with scum-sucking groups like the Church of Scientology.

I have found that many older people often settle into a zone of comfort, as it is just too tedious to keep following any path of "betterment". They adopt an attitude that they HAVE somehow "figured it all out" - but that is a pretense. Or they just settle into a sort of apathy about it all. People get beat up in life, as some do and did by involvement with Scientology, and they just want to sit back and chill for awhile. Sometimes taking a break, even for a lifetime or two, might be just what the doctor ordered!

It is not the urge for self-improvement that is the culprit. The culprits are nasty conniving people like Hubbard, and organizations like Scientology, that TAKE ADVANTAGE of this largely decent and common urge among Mankind. As I have mentioned before, there is nothing wrong with hoping and even working towards a better future.

But there is lots wrong with groups like Scientology that FEED OFF of that decent desire, and basically exist as vampires and parasites who manage to survive and even expand off of the decent hopes and dreams of others.

 

[Smilla]

My signature states my opinion on this topic -Lol.

 

[Winston Smith]

Sometimes I am interested in "self-improvement." But I don't do stuff that would actually accomplish that. I mean at 60 I have wasted a bunch of years trying that stuff. And whatever improvement comes about can easily disappear also. So I don't delude myself any longer. Just try to enjoy stuff.

 

[GoNuclear]

I got into Scientology because I wanted to be better--smarter and more successful with the opposite sex. It was very apparent that other people who were very similar to me were smarter and had girlfriends.

The folks who got me involved with cos were brilliant and doing great things. The other scienos I met were very cool.

As I became more involved I came to believe that I WAS smarter and the girlfriend thing took a long time to sort out.

I was audited and trained and read LRH endlessly under the certainty that I was getting better, you know, more able, smarter with an amazing insight into the minds of others.

Scientology informed me that my troubles could be solved by addressing me as a spiritual being. I thought that as a more capable spiritual being my problems would be solved.

Eventually, I viewed my needs as spiritual, only to be solved by more spiritual counselling. And then, everything would fall into place.

As I read more LRH, I developed the sense that I could develop many, many new ways to be more able, smarter and spiritual. Life would become more of a game and I'd be less at the effect of it all.

The basic belief that I could get better was repeatedly enforced as part of the fabric of being "in" Scientology. As long as I thought that I could get much better, I wanted to be involved and was willing to make the sacrifice of my time and career and relationships.

The carrot on the stick that kept me reaching was all about self-improvement.

I've been out for 20 years but still the overpowering hope that I can get better lingers like an addictive drug.

Idiotic management drove me out. I enjoyed the auditing and training.

The irrepressible urge to improve is so very alluring.

When I got into Scientology at age 20, success with women was definitely one of the "ruins" that they used to reel me in. Then I saw the price of auditing. I felt there was an irony ... On the one hand, I believed that getting my head totally sorted out and/or gaining extra-ordinary powers would put me at cause in the game of getting women to respond enthusiastically to my clumsy approaches. On the other hand, getting all those expensives of auditing would then soak up the capital needed to get a decent set of wheels and a decent pad. Unfortunately for me I was under the influence of a redge.

Pete

 

[The_Fixer]

Well, just about ANY path involves an urge towards self-improvement or betterment.

People often participate in religions, philosophies and ideologies because they see some lack or flaw in themselves, and they have the notion that if they solve these flaws or lacks, that their life will be "better". There is some truth to that. People DO HAVE many flaws, weaknesses, lacks and limitations at ANY stage along their existance and growth.

Even a college education is aimed at self-improvement.

If one views life and even the whole universe as a constant process of "evolution", then the idea of "learning" never ends.

And, I would say that there is NO human alive who "knows it all", and who couldn't benefit by adding other viewpoints to his or her arsenal.

If the universe is some grand design where "God" unfolds and becomes discovered by EVERY speck of consciousness within it, and since the possibilities are truly endless, I doubt that sincere learning and the urge towards "self-improvement" will end anytime soon. Granted some people give up on it, and get very jaded after experiences with scum-sucking groups like the Church of Scientology.

I have found that many older people often settle into a zone of comfort, as it is just too tedious to keep following any path of "betterment". They adopt an attitude that they HAVE somehow "figured it all out" - but that is a pretense. Or they just settle into a sort of apathy about it all. People get beat up in life, as some do and did by involvement with Scientology, and they just want to sit back and chill for awhile. Sometimes taking a break, even for a lifetime or two, might be just what the doctor ordered!

<SNIP>

Sometimes I am interested in "self-improvement." But I don't do stuff that would actually accomplish that. I mean at 60 I have wasted a bunch of years trying that stuff. And whatever improvement comes about can easily disappear also. So I don't delude myself any longer. Just try to enjoy stuff.

I agree with you there in many ways Gadfly. As I also grow older I am beginning to lean towards what Winston has just said.

I don't think it's apathy, just a form of acceptance that there are other things in life to be getting on with and enjoying. All that self improvement stuff fades in the importance level with our lives. I'm leaving the heavy stuff to others.

That and along with the growing thought that so many self improvement thingies are perhaps in some ways beneficial as we first thought Scientology was when we first got into it. However the colours and tastes soon began to fade and we found our way out giving ourselves more crap to wade through and sort out afterwards. It could also be about a fear about being 'caught' again. This is not really a 'wisdom' in its truest sense as it is based in fear.

Who wants or needs that as they age? Scientology has put most of us on alert status about getting involved with any group aimed at self improvement, especially if there is even a microscopic hint of 'cult'.

I have, for myself, found that many self improvement things are cultish (but not all!) to varying degrees and I tend to shy away before the hooks can be set.

As examples, I offer the business cults such as Amway and Robert Kiyosaki following as cures to most problems by not ever having to worry about money again. I was nearly caught by the Kiyosaki movement. This time though I checked for his 'entheta listings' on the web first and decided to give it a wide berth. There are many like these. What I have also found with the business cults is that one needs to learn to be at least a lower level sociopath to be successful there. That ruthless and morally dodgy stuff that gets covered up in all that flowery prose they offer to justify it all. Not for me.

What about all the Christian churches that proliferate around the globe (I know, all other religions apply as well, but this is only one example)? How many of you have seen the glassy eyed stares and adulations of its followers? Try telling an Assembly of God follower that the Earth may be older than 6000 years and watch the sparks fly. Or Harry Potter is only a fantasy story, not some evil and dangerous anti-christian lunacy where all the actors are going to have horrible lives and maybe deaths.

Then there are all the alternative religions, the new age cults and self-improvement cults.

Really, do we NEED to get into them? Everything has some truths and benefits. It's the cults that go with them that do the damage. I, for one, tend to keep very clear of most of them nowadays. I have my beliefs, but I won't go near many of the other 'believers'.

I guess that was the only real benefit Scientology gave to me. But that came with a nasty price tag as well.

At the end of the day, I would much rather go sailing, sightseeing nature at its best and watch a great movie than sit meditating for hours on end, trying to sell my beliefs to others, or be cut off from the world. There comes a time to enjoy life, not be swallowed up by it.

 

[Boojuum]

Well, just about ANY path involves an urge towards self-improvement or betterment.

People often participate in religions, philosophies and ideologies because they see some lack or flaw in themselves, and they have the notion that if they solve these flaws or lacks, that their life will be "better". There is some truth to that. People DO HAVE many flaws, weaknesses, lacks and limitations at ANY stage along their existance and growth.

Even a college education is aimed at self-improvement.

I think Scientology's core difference is that it offers to make you essentially different. Not more or better educated, not more proper in deportment or more ethical or kinder or more aware of the consequences of one's actions.

Scientology promises that you will BE different and better, more able, smarter, ...more OT.

Becoming religious or going to college, one sees a limit to what can be attained.

Scientology offers the neverending cure of BEING better, at the next stop along the bridge.

 

[Mimsey Borogrove]

I find myself procrastinating more now that I am persona non gratis. That insane drive to hustle up still more cash has been replaced by a complacent drive to pay off all the damn debt I got into. Since I am self employed, I am still some what of a workaholic, but I am making myself enjoy my family more.

But back in my mind, there are too many questions that are unanswered. Questions like - when I stop thinking ( the internal dialog ) where are those concepts that pop into my brain coming from? Is it me on a different plane or slightly in the future? Is it coming from the left brain? Is awareness in the now but the being in the future? Or vice versa?

If a cat doesn't have a language, does it think in concepts? What was that space ship I saw in my mind when I read DMSMH when I first found scientology? It seemed like it was from the back track and why did it contain the concept that an old promise had finally come true?

I had thought Scientology had the answers - I came to realize it had some, but getting them was like walking in a mine field to pick flowers.

So the self-help thing hasn't died in me, I still yearn to know the answers.

Mimsey

 

[Petey C]

Sometimes I am interested in "self-improvement." But I don't do stuff that would actually accomplish that. I mean at 60 I have wasted a bunch of years trying that stuff. And whatever improvement comes about can easily disappear also. So I don't delude myself any longer. Just try to enjoy stuff.

I think I've just come to accept that I yam what I yam. After all these years of trying to make myself into something I'm not. The main improvement I'm into now is practising an instrument to improve my digital dexterity. That's practising, not playing as I see them as two different things.

 

[Operating DB]

This is a cool thread and can really relate to almost everything that has been said so far.

It confounds me that there is such a seemingly huge majority of humans that are caught up in religions, self improvement programs etc. It scares me too.

What is wrong with the human race anyways??? Stop the planet. I want to get off!

 

[Smilla]

I think I've just come to accept that I yam what I yam. After all these years of trying to make myself into something I'm not. The main improvement I'm into now is practising an instrument to improve my digital dexterity. That's practising, not playing as I see them as two different things.

What do you play?

 

[Boojuum]

...
I had thought Scientology had the answers - I came to realize it had some, but getting them was like walking in a mine field to pick flowers.

..
Mimsey

THAT is ONE HECK OF A QUOTE!!!!

 

[La La Lou Lou]

I wanted to improve myself, become something better probably because I didn't like myself. Now since leaving I have learned to like myself and the self improvement I still do is to enhance who I am, via study, counselling etc. You could say that it took being declared an SP to realise that I'm actually not.

 

[Gottabrain]

I have found that many older people often settle into a zone of comfort, as it is just too tedious to keep following any path of "betterment". They adopt an attitude that they HAVE somehow "figured it all out" - but that is a pretense.

Gadfly, I don't think this is correct. Maybe you haven't personally met that many elderly people, but my experience is very different.

In my occupation, I work with many different elderly people daily. Few have any pretenses with a carer.

Many have definitely figured it all out. Oh, how I love working with them!

Those who have nailed it - who have their lives sorted - are involved socially. They are appreciative, kind, warm, loving, forgiving, unprejudiced, and don't dwell on their physical or mental problems, material things, on the past or on the future. Some are active physically, many do volunteer work of some kind. Some are physically dependent in one way or another but still keep a good attitude.

They accept their situations yet keep a cheerful attitude and appreciate each day for what it is. They're awesome.

The search for betterment is not part of their lives and at that age, I don't believe it is supposed to be, either. Complete acceptance of what is, without losing identity, without worry about what might have been or what could be is something I find extremely difficult but which many elderly can do easily, cheerfully.

To me, they "get it". They are at peace with themselves, their environment, their lives. Completely open to give and receive love. What more is there to get?

It is beyond cool. I want to be that way when I'm old, too.

 

[smartone]

Go and have a good old knees up and a few drinks thrown in. That's my self-improvement.

 

[Winston Smith]

What do you play?

While I am waiting for this answer, I do try to play as well as I am able. I wouldn't practice if I didn't care about that.

 

[Petey C]

What do you play?

Stringed instruments, mainly guitar but I'm trying to move into different styles of playing. (Also starting viola at this advanced age, but hey, it's strings plus a finger board ...) I am sure that it releases creativity, and I like the discipline of repetitive practice; I sort of feel that if I can move something into digital memory, it stays with me longer and it somehow creates a field where creativity can emerge.

 

[Boojuum]

Since leaving cos, I've morphed into someone who is less focused on becoming a different person. I don't chase spiritual enlightenment. Maybe I'm burned out. ? My life is dramatically better than it was, perhaps not as exciting or embarassing but I think as we age we tend to focus on realistic improvements over "pie in the sky" and frankly that's what a great deal of Scientology was to me, "pie in the sky".

The OT levels were a sort of murky, but exciting dream world where I was better. Maybe that's why all the events are glittery. Perhaps that glitter becomes a more concrete dream, with glitter and therefore better.

Nowadays, a better life means less stress and understanding other people better and having the time to educate myself on my world.

Clearing the planet was "pie in the sky".

What's that old Dylan lyric, "We were so much older then, I'm younger than that now." Seems apt.

 

[Petey C]

Clearing the planet was "pie in the sky".

What's that old Dylan lyric, "We were so much older then, I'm younger than that now." Seems apt.

That reminds me of this hoary old satire written during the Depression (to the tune of In the Sweet Bye and Bye):

Longhaired preachers come out every night
Try to tell us what's wrong and what's right
But when asked about something to eat
They will answer in voices so sweet --

"You will eat
Bye and bye
In that beautiful land above the sky
Work and pray
Live on hay
You'll get pie in the sky when you die." (That's a lie)."