Women and Compliments...and did $cientology Help at ALL?

[Magoo]

If anything...I think scn. made people less honest with themselves and others.

PS:. You're right about that......Scientology did (and does)
make people LESS honest with themselves and others. It HAS to.

IF you're going to "go up the Bridge"....and do the "OT" levels, how can one possibly
be *totally* honest with themselves and others.

EXP NOW: "Isn't OT 3 about XENU?"
If you say "Yes"....that's a HIGH CRIME and there's a good chance
you will be declared "SP"
If you lie and say "no"....well, there ya go, you lied.
(And that's not just one lie----that goes on, and on, and on....
ALL under the guise of "It's an acceptable truth"

What is an Acceptable Truth, really? A LIE.

Love to all,

Tory/Magoo

 

[Winston Smith]

I liked that about scientology. The men seemed really good.
I know, I was probably completely oblivious.
But, I really admired them.
For having a higher purpose and all that.

I must admit I am not sure what it is you liked about Scn. Or to what post you are responding. I am just thick, I think. I was thinking of saying to this post, but I don't want to be an ogre. This is what this thread is about after all, peeps who are ogres instead of graciously accepting compliments. AND thank you so much for your compliment.

At first I admired the men at FCDC. The women of course were almost all hotties, and looking back on it they were a bit strange. Acting like men, you know. Then I discovered that all persons in the cult were a bit twisted.

 

[In present time]

I must admit I am not sure what it is you liked about Scn. Or to what post you are responding. I am just thick, I think. I was thinking of saying to this post, but I don't want to be an ogre. This is what this thread is about after all, peeps who are ogres instead of graciously accepting compliments. AND thank you so much for your compliment.

At first I admired the men at FCDC. The women of course were almost all hotties, and looking back on it they were a bit strange. Acting like men, you know. Then I discovered that all persons in the cult were a bit twisted.

Well judging for my ability to stay on any topic, it is simply no wonder I flunked Scientology, or perhaps it is no wonder that I was onlines for eight years.
I have no idea how I got off on a tangent about the hottie sea org men. The mind wanders, as you, my dear Winston are aware
Craig Jensen comes to mind... OMG. He was S.O. sweet, and in my little public mind, completely unattainable. And of course he was a reg. and I gave him every dime I could scrape together.
Thanks for not WTF'ing my post.
That is upsetting, although I really have no idea why... I mean it shouldn't right?

 

[Winston Smith]

Ha, you are funny, in present time. It is okay to be a little off here. We all definitely are. Makes life a little more interesting.

heehee

 

[CO2]

Well, gee.....

Well, gee, ............

i experienced a different culture of Scientology

back in the 60s and early 70s, back when we had ALL done drugs,
back in centers (long before missions) in the south San Francisco Bay Area around Stanford U.

I was male, with hormones galore (still today: male, still with hormones galore)

At age 20, in 1971, I twinned on Class 0 at SFO with a 46 year old woman, OT 6 (I was Clear too), who was divorced from a Fortune 500 CEO. I was literally a farm boy. I would write her notes, short and sweet. She was beautiful. The most beautiful woman in the room.

She was, by the way.

To this day, I still write her those kind of notes by e mail, where her husband won't see them.

We became more than friends rather quickly. Today, 40 years later, we're still friends, who talk on the phone, e mail, and see one another here and there. We lived together in her house or mine for some years.

it all started with my notes during tape lectures.

I have to say that sex and love between two OTs of that era beats any other. There was a period of two weeks where we only got out of bed to eat and use the bathroom and brush our teeth. The Scientology auditing opened doors that I didn't even know existed until I went Clear.

We shared authors we liked ( I turned her on to Vonnegut), wall papering and painting each others' homes, cooking, camping on the beach near where I grew up (Big Sur area), movies galore, rock and roll, archaeology, auditing, and much more.

 

[still here]

In Present Time....I agree with you on that, Most of the Men did
seem really good. And ya...me too re being completely oblivious except for the examples
I gave re the Exec's. I admired most of them, too, for having a higher purpose...
for being able to
MAKE THINGS GO RIGHT! Sorry----it just is sad in a way as Hubbard and gang
USED people so much with these theories.

But I will say, to this day, I'll take an ex-Sea Org man any day to help clean my house.
More than one have...and they're amazing.

Someone *should* consider starting a cleaning bus with some of the Ex Sea Org members who need work.
They're WAY above the average.



Tory/Magoo

Hi Magoo

I agree that ANY ex SO will know how to clean! I am pretty good at it myself. White Gloves train you well.

As far as the men though I found as many, dysfunctional, posing, unattractive, and self important ones in the SO (and Scn) as anywhere else - (maybe more!) If you and IPT found so many good ones you were not in the same locations as me! LOL

You asked though about the influence of Scn on women and their ability to take compliments. I have two points. Many and I mean many of the women I have met (not excluding myself) have had problems gracefully accepting compliments, and this if always, IMHO connected to self esteem and self image. There has always been pressure there from media, family, men...

As far as Scn goes, and specifically the SO then women are un-sexed - they can compete with men for position, and officers are always referred to as "Sir" - and it was part of the plan.

I found that quite comfortable as I could expect not to have comments, looks and passes made, or ever have to deal with compliments. (they would have been too scared!)
Sad I am afraid and I am much better at it now!! so in some way Scn fed my insecurities...and expanded them.

Hope this helps

Still

 

[Winston Smith]

Re: Well, gee.....

Well, gee, ............

i experienced a different culture of Scientology

back in the 60s and early 70s, back when we had ALL done drugs,
back in centers (long before missions) in the south San Francisco Bay Area around Stanford U.

I was male, with hormones galore (still today: male, still with hormones galore)

At age 20, in 1971, I twinned on Class 0 at SFO with a 46 year old woman, OT 6 (I was Clear too), who was divorced from a Fortune 500 CEO. I was literally a farm boy. I would write her notes, short and sweet. She was beautiful. The most beautiful woman in the room.

She was, by the way.

To this day, I still write her those kind of notes by e mail, where her husband won't see them.

We became more than friends rather quickly. Today, 40 years later, we're still friends, who talk on the phone, e mail, and see one another here and there. We lived together in her house or mine for some years.

it all started with my notes during tape lectures.

I have to say that sex and love between two OTs of that era beats any other. There was a period of two weeks where we only got out of bed to eat and use the bathroom and brush our teeth. The Scientology auditing opened doors that I didn't even know existed until I went Clear.

We shared authors we liked ( I turned her on to Vonnegut), wall papering and painting each others' homes, cooking, camping on the beach near where I grew up (Big Sur area), movies galore, rock and roll, archaeology, auditing, and much more.

You are one year older than me, maybe. 12 Jan 52 for me. Now I know I was a bit shy and was very naive, but I sure did not share in your good fortune. My brother, 4 years older, got messed up on LSD and other drugs at Washington Univ in St Louis when I was 16, so I guess that turned me into pretty much a hater of drugs. He went nuts, and nothing I could do could save him. It is with great sorrow that I say he died at age 49 in 1997, before his 50th birthday. Just kind of wanted to point out that not everyone of our generation did illicit drugs, and also that those drugs also destroyed lives.

 

[CO2]

Re: Well, gee.....

You are one year older than me, maybe. 12 Jan 52 for me. Now I know I was a bit shy and was very naive, but I sure did not share in your good fortune. My brother, 4 years older, got messed up on LSD and other drugs at Washington Univ in St Louis when I was 16, so I guess that turned me into pretty much a hater of drugs. He went nuts, and nothing I could do could save him. It is with great sorrow that I say he died at age 49 in 1997, before his 50th birthday. Just kind of wanted to point out that not everyone of our generation did illicit drugs, and also that those drugs also destroyed lives.

I wasn't talking specifically about our generation.

I actually started by narrowing the area down to the culture of the San Francisco Bay Area around Stanford University. I was born in Nov 1950 for accuracy sake.

I had a friend, Skip Spence, who died homeless and alcoholic, because of drugs. He was a founding member of Jefferson Airplane and Moby Grape. To say he was immensely talented would be an understatement. He was also one beautiful glowing being.

[video=youtube;bcLsV1o-FIY]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bcLsV1o-FIY[/video]

Sometimes the chips fall that way. John McMaster, Clear #1, a man, whom I admire greatly also died alcoholic and broke.

I don't blame the drugs or the booze.

My reason for bringing the subject up, was to give background to the story, I was going to spin.

Both the woman I mentioned, who incidentally had an MA in Archaeology, but produced like a PhD, had been like myself, a frequent visitor to the Fillmore Auditorium, and was as genned into rock and roll as me.

We had many traits and interests in common. In Scientologese, we were both super literate. Not by certificate, but by lots of reading over many years. Both of us, as a for an example, had both read all of Agatha Christie. Furthermore, it was a plus that I was fluent in cuniliguistics.

Politically, we were both, libertarian, before the word gained popularity.

We had both smoked dope and dropped acid. We were birds of a feather. Our ages were no barrier to our beings being simpatico. The fact that we are friends forty plus years later attests to this.

The thread is about compliments. She took and continues to take them well. The last time we talked, she was running out the door to go to the gym. She was born in 1926. She logs more frequent flier miles a year than I do. She skis just as much as I do. She sails (sail not stinkpot) more than I do. I was a very lucky person to land her as a girl friend for those years.

We did the academy levels as Clears, and the briefing course. No one ever mistook us for robots. If we wanted to skip course, and go to the movies, we did. Rules didn't apply to us.

[video=youtube;Mr_KnscgBZc]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Mr_KnscgBZc[/video]

[video=youtube;594WLzzb3JI]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=594WLzzb3JI[/video]

 

[Magoo]

I had a friend, Skip Spence, who died homeless and alcoholic, because of drugs. He was a founding member of Jefferson Airplane and Moby Grape. To say he was immensely talented would be an understatement. He was also one beautiful glowing being.

CO2...

Soooo sorry to hear you lost your friend, and especially that way.
I'm ever amazed how MANY Musicians die from drugs.

Thankfully, we have their music to enjoy...long after they've moved on.

My best,

Tory/Magoo

 

[Ted]

[...]

Here's one more tip I learned: The average woman, no matter how great or "nice" she looks,
IF given a compliment, will negate it.

"I like your hair"
Woman: "Oh ...it's really bad today, I need to get it cut"
"I like your dress"
"Oh this old rag? I've had it for years. LOL"
"I love your nails"
"Oh I need to get them done again--it's been weeks"

Start LISTENING. You'll hear it.

And ***learn*** to just say, "Thank you".

After hearing this over and over for 2 years---I began to look at WHY?
Ok, women are TAUGHT: "Don't Brag"
Men are TAUGHT: "Have confidence...be strong"

So women literally feel like it's bad if we just say, "Thank you".
Which is why I suggest LEARNING/Practicing...when you get a compliment,
just say "Thank you!" Remember---this insanity has been passed down from Mom to Mom,
...woman to woman for a very long time.

[...]

Please share your thoughts on this.

My best to ALL

Tory/Magoo

True!

With a few exceptions. Narcissists suck it up and always expect more.

But, on the whole, very true. And still, you complement her anyway--if you feel it in your heart, if the complement is true.

Not too much though. A single word, or a few, is all it takes. If you overdo it she will suspect you are FOS, or you have been out drinking, or you are buttering her up for something, or that you are trying to cover your ass for some reason.

My oldest daughter, a portrait photographer, just happened to write something relevant to this topic on her August blog. Perhaps she said something that might help in some way.

Friends,

This is where my heart is at.

These are the sessions where I excel and my talents show themselves the fullest; sessions where I can spend time making women feel beautiful. Showing them what I see, guiding even the most shy women into looks and poses that flatter. Yes, even pregnant mommas. I don’t know why it is that way for me. I do love my family sessions, children sessions, high school senior sessions. But this is where it’s at. Maybe it’s because when it’s one-on-one in this manner, I get the time to know you better, to pamper you, and to make you feel amazing, and then give you pretty pictures to keep and pass down to your children. This is something I want for myself. Every day. So I give it to you. There is no distraction because you are worried about what kind of face your husband is making and if the kids are looking ok or not. It’s just you and me, and you deserve to have this. When you see them, you love them. Every woman deserves to feel this beautiful at least once in their life.

These things make my heart swell.

My mom hated having her picture taken. My dad didn’t care and took them anyway. 35+ years worth of them. And I am so thankful to have those photos. She is the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen. No she was never perfect, who is? But she is my mom. Dad photographed her like she was a super model. She was beautiful to him. That made her beautiful to all. That is the power that a photographer has. The power to know how to work a camera technically so that you can create images that show others how you view the scene, the beauty you see, captured, so others can see it too. My dad could do that with mom, and I can do that with you.

My heart is singing this morning.

Adelina has been my client for a couple years now. We started our journey when she was pregnant with her first son. This is our first real session where it was just her and I. I did her hair and makeup for her then we drove over to the beach and took pictures as the sun went down on a hot summer day.

She’s having a little girl this time.

She says this is by far her favorite session. I presented her with over 50 images and she loves

every

single

one of them.

Enjoy.

​

Pictures if you follow the link: jessica swatts, portrait-photographer

P.S. You asked did Scientology help at all. That is a definite yes. Auditor basics in observation and communication. Had I not this experience I would have made all the blunders I mentioned above, and I would have made them over and over again thinking that any rejection would have meant I needed to lavish further, more profusely with the compliments, right up to the point of exhaustion and apathy on my part.

 

[sallydannce]

In another thread re the recent East Coast SP Party,
Purple Rain posted some photos and said something. It got me thinking, and I
posted this. Then I realized: Wrong thread! That is a thread about the party...
and this really is a topic I think would be cool to discuss some.
Ok, so here's what Purple said and then what I said:



Good one~ Miss Piggy. However...let's look at a few things.

Years ago I used to sell "Slender Now" ...a weight loss protein drink all around LA.
I was literally *shocked* to find out EVERY woman thinks she is exactly
as you describe above. Even pins (girls who are skinny as rails and look like
they need to gain weight): "Oh I need to loose this____" You name it, doesn't matter.
I've yet to meet a woman (unless she's done a lot of personal work on herself) who doesn't feel the same.
(It's literally a matter of re-learning how to love yourself, no matter what 'size' you may be).
(Example: Purple (and Denise)....I think you look terrific in ALL Your photos!)

Here's one more tip I learned: The average woman, no matter how great or "nice" she looks,
IF given a compliment, will negate it.

"I like your hair"
Woman: "Oh ...it's really bad today, I need to get it cut"
"I like your dress"
"Oh this old rag? I've had it for years. LOL"
"I love your nails"
"Oh I need to get them done again--it's been weeks"

Start LISTENING. You'll hear it.

And ***learn*** to just say, "Thank you".

After hearing this over and over for 2 years---I began to look at WHY?
Ok, women are TAUGHT: "Don't Brag"
Men are TAUGHT: "Have confidence...be strong"

So women literally feel like it's bad if we just say, "Thank you".
Which is why I suggest LEARNING/Practicing...when you get a compliment,
just say "Thank you!" Remember---this insanity has been passed down from Mom to Mom,
...woman to woman for a very long time.

Let's change it.

Also, does *anyone* feel like $cientology helped change this?
I know we all learned "TR 2" (acknowledgements)
However what I described...I heard constantly from Scientologists, as well.
So did it help?

Please share your thoughts on this.

My best to ALL

Tory/Magoo

My observations too with women. There seems to be this "never satisfied" thing which compliments just bash up against, get diminished/rejected and fall to the floor.

Like you Tory, I wondered why. This subject came up for me as I re-built myself, and my life, after leaving scientology. Scientology neutralised my femininity and sexuality. I mostly stopped seeing myself, sensing myself, as a woman and became a cog in the machine - a "terminal" in the game of "clearing the planet".

So I set about exploring this subject, mainly for personal reasons.

The inability for many women to graciously accept a compliment about their physical appearance is, imho, only the tip of a much deeper ice-berg. Given that historically many cultural systems have been patriarchal, the fact is girls and boys have been raised very differently over the centuries. The inherent "programming" from this is not even consciously noticed though it has been challenged, to some degree, by such movements as the suffragettes and the feminist movement. Yay for women being able to own land and get the same pay for the same job. But...

There is a huge "body beautiful" industry which permeates culture. This is perpetuated by women who compare their make-up, body shape/size, etc, with each other, even if they don't openly voice this. Healthy, loving self-acceptance has gone out the window in the midst of all this pressure to "conform".

The "beauty industry" has forced an illusionary "perfect benchmark" - and we are bombarded by images of women that represent probably less than 1% of real women. "Sexy", "feminine", "beautiful", etc, has been defined by popular culture and media. It is entirely unrealistic. The reality is most women have cellulite, most women have two different sized bosoms, most women have wonderful creases and curves. Many women look like hell the days leading up to their period, most women beautifully change after child-birth, etc, etc. But we are lead to feel guilty if we don't quite look "amazing" all the time. The sad part is most of us haven't even explored that silent guilt - we don't even know we have it cos it is so deeply cemented into our culture. Seldom do I meet a women who is "comfortable in her own skin".

Sisters, take a look at those thighs you feel are "too big". In former times you would have been revered and adored for having some flesh on your bones. Look at your ample bosom and perhaps consider how incredible it is you have been able to sustain new life with the perfect food for infants.

For me, it has been about re-framing and ignoring the cultural "noise" and pressure. Now I have to confess I am a slim woman. I can eat my heart out and never gain weight. Never have. Apparently I am like my paternal grandmother. It has been said to me "well it's okay for you, you've never had a weight issue". Ha! No one considers there are issues for me too. Like when I went under huge stress, lost weight and my clothes were literally falling off me. Nothing glamorous about that, at all. I have to monitor my food intake as I have a fast metabolism and like a baby, need to eat every couple of hours otherwise I run out of fuel/energy and can get cranky, lethargic, etc. One of my nieces is like me and from time to time we commiserate with each other about what a pain in the arse it is to have to cart snacks around in our bags so we can get through outings, etc.

What I'm getting at here, is self-acceptance, being in tune with who we are. There is so much sneaky silent shame for women. We quietly compare ourselves with the cultural "norm" and give ourselves hell.

Be kind to yourself. Support each other, in a kind way. We are each quite wonderful the way we are. If you want to lose weight or tighten something up, great. Do it for yourself, with love.

If someone takes the time to pay you a compliment, smile and calmly thank them. We come in all different shapes and sizes and I for one, celebrate that!

 

[Claire Swazey]

I think that love and compliments and human decency begin with oneself, by treating others in a kindly and decent manner.

People should love themselves but some positive reinforcement from others can help this. That means not tearing people down.

 

[Winston Smith]

My observations too with women. There seems to be this "never satisfied" thing which compliments just bash up against, get diminished/rejected and fall to the floor.

Like you Tory, I wondered why. This subject came up for me as I re-built myself, and my life, after leaving scientology. Scientology neutralised my femininity and sexuality. I mostly stopped seeing myself, sensing myself, as a woman and became a cog in the machine - a "terminal" in the game of "clearing the planet".

So I set about exploring this subject, mainly for personal reasons.

The inability for many women to graciously accept a compliment about their physical appearance is, imho, only the tip of a much deeper ice-berg. Given that historically many cultural systems have been patriarchal, the fact is girls and boys have been raised very differently over the centuries. The inherent "programming" from this is not even consciously noticed though it has been challenged, to some degree, by such movements as the suffragettes and the feminist movement. Yay for women being able to own land and get the same pay for the same job. But...

There is a huge "body beautiful" industry which permeates culture. This is perpetuated by women who compare their make-up, body shape/size, etc, with each other, even if they don't openly voice this. Healthy, loving self-acceptance has gone out the window in the midst of all this pressure to "conform".

The "beauty industry" has forced an illusionary "perfect benchmark" - and we are bombarded by images of women that represent probably less than 1% of real women. "Sexy", "feminine", "beautiful", etc, has been defined by popular culture and media. It is entirely unrealistic. The reality is most women have cellulite, most women have two different sized bosoms, most women have wonderful creases and curves. Many women look like hell the days leading up to their period, most women beautifully change after child-birth, etc, etc. But we are lead to feel guilty if we don't quite look "amazing" all the time. The sad part is most of us haven't even explored that silent guilt - we don't even know we have it cos it is so deeply cemented into our culture. Seldom do I meet a women who is "comfortable in her own skin".

Sisters, take a look at those thighs you feel are "too big". In former times you would have been revered and adored for having some flesh on your bones. Look at your ample bosom and perhaps consider how incredible it is you have been able to sustain new life with the perfect food for infants.

For me, it has been about re-framing and ignoring the cultural "noise" and pressure. Now I have to confess I am a slim woman. I can eat my heart out and never gain weight. Never have. Apparently I am like my paternal grandmother. It has been said to me "well it's okay for you, you've never had a weight issue". Ha! No one considers there are issues for me too. Like when I went under huge stress, lost weight and my clothes were literally falling off me. Nothing glamorous about that, at all. I have to monitor my food intake as I have a fast metabolism and like a baby, need to eat every couple of hours otherwise I run out of fuel/energy and can get cranky, lethargic, etc. One of my nieces is like me and from time to time we commiserate with each other about what a pain in the arse it is to have to cart snacks around in our bags so we can get through outings, etc.

What I'm getting at here, is self-acceptance, being in tune with who we are. There is so much sneaky silent shame for women. We quietly compare ourselves with the cultural "norm" and give ourselves hell.

Be kind to yourself. Support each other, in a kind way. We are each quite wonderful the way we are. If you want to lose weight or tighten something up, great. Do it for yourself, with love.

If someone takes the time to pay you a compliment, smile and calmly thank them. We come in all different shapes and sizes and I for one, celebrate that!

With this whole "body beautiful" mindset goes Thomas Wolfe's comment that rich women are social x-rays, ha. In other words they are so skinny you can see their rib cage through their dresses. Yes after a while it is meaningless. We are what we are.

 

[sallydannce]

With this whole "body beautiful" mindset goes Thomas Wolfe's comment that rich women are social x-rays, ha. In other words they are so skinny you can see their rib cage through their dresses. Yes after a while it is meaningless. We are what we are.

True. The "body beautiful" mindset both irritates and thoroughly bores me though I try to remain patient (imperfectly).

Some of the best books have nondescript or imperfect covers. At the high risk of sounding trite here, you gotta get to the heart of the story. That's where the "rich stuff" resides.

 

[Gadfly]

With this whole "body beautiful" mindset goes Thomas Wolfe's comment that rich women are social x-rays, ha. In other words they are so skinny you can see their rib cage through their dresses. Yes after a while it is meaningless. We are what we are.

Here is an example of the "body beautiful" thing pushed to an absurd extreme. Skinny?

Valeria Lukyanova: The Human Barbie Doll

Though, she adds in all of this spiritual stuff about astral travel and so forth (and claims she is an alien) . . . . .

The above pictures are of an actual person - not a doll!

I suppose that boys will now want Barbie Dolls too to play with!

 

[sallydannce]

Here is an example of the "body beautiful" thing pushed to an absurd extreme. Skinny?

Valeria Lukyanova: The Human Barbie Doll

Though, she adds in all of this spiritual stuff about astral travel and so forth (and claims she is an alien) . . . . .

The above pictures are of an actual person - not a doll!

Goodness.

I am irritated and suppressing a massive rant...

 

[Winston Smith]

Valeria Lukyanova is a botched genetic engineering nightmare. Wonder how many Kens and Barbies had to take part to produce THAT?

 

[Gadfly]

Goodness.

I am irritated and suppressing a massive rant...

Yeah, I would probably give the same rant.

About how modern girls are brought up wishing and praying they could look like the photo-shooped beauties that grace the pages of the latest teen or modeling magazine. About how this "I must be cute and skinny" takes over their fragile young consciousness, leading to all sorts of issues with self-esteem and eating disorders.

And, of course, some or many of the men, also brought up on a diet of similar images of "beauty" end up wanting such specimens as "partners". Society's concept of physical beauty is such an "implant".

I wonder what the world would be like without such images being flaunted forever in front of our faces? :confused2:

Of course, Hollywood tends to often find and bring to fame members of each sex who display this "natural beauty". Sadly, few enjoy the same genetic "luck". I knew many younger people when my kids were younger, and it was amazing how weird, strange and out-of-it some of the "really pretty" girls were. They had received attention since they were little, being told how lovely they each were. Some were abused by family and friends. Of course they always confused this "love" and "attraction" with genuine concern and care, and many ended up pregnant at a young age. Many strippers originally were naturally pretty, received much attention for it, dealt with it immaturely, it went to their heads, and they continued to respond to the "positive reinforcement". I always truly felt that it was better NOT to be one of the "beautiful people", because it results in a very unique mindset that has its own downfalls. Granted, not all succumb. There are people like Charlize Theron, who while naturally very pretty, also managed to rise above it, along with a genuine intelligence and talent.

This whole concern for physical beauty IS a "real trap". Both wanting it in self and wanting or requiring it in others.

Was any of that like your rant might have gone? :confused2:

 

[Lermanet_com]

If you wanna be happy for the rest of your life
Never make a pretty woman your wife
So from my personal point of view
Get an ugly girl to marry you

If you wanna be happy for the rest of your life
Never make a pretty woman your wife
So from my personal point of view
Get an ugly girl to marry you

If you wanna be happy for the rest of your life
Never make a pretty woman your wife
So from my personal point of view
Get an ugly girl to marry you

If you wanna be happy for the rest of your life
Never make a pretty woman your wife
So from my personal point of view
Get an ugly girl to marry you

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9NF5XU-k2Vk

 

[sallydannce]

Yeah, I would probably give the same rant.

About how modern girls are brought up wishing and praying they could look like the photo-shooped beauties that grace the pages of the latest teen or modeling magazine. About how this "I must be cute and skinny" takes over their fragile young consciousness, leading to all sorts of issues with self-esteem and eating disorders.

And, of course, some or many of the men, also brought up on a diet of similar images of "beauty" end up wanting such specimens as "partners". Societies concept of physical beauty is such an "implant".

I wonder what the world would be like without such images being flaunted forever in front of our faces? :confused2:

Of course, Hollywood tends to often find and bring to fame members of each sex who display this "natural beauty". Sadly, few enjoy the same genetic "luck". I knew many younger people when my kids were younger, and it was amazing how weird, strange and out-of-it some of the "really pretty" girls were. They had received attention since they were little, being told how lovely they each were. Some were abused by family and friends. Of course they always confused this "love" and "attraction" with genuine concern and care, and many ended up pregnant at a young age. Many strippers originally were naturally pretty, received much attention for it, dealt with it immaturely, it went to their heads, and they continued to respond to the "positive reinforcement". I always truly felt that it was better NOT to be one of the "beautiful people", because it results in a very unique mindset that has its own downfalls. Granted, not all succumb. There are people like Charlize Theron, who while naturally very pretty, also managed to rise above it, along with a genuine intelligence and talent.

This whole concern for physical beauty IS a "real trap". Both wanting it in self and wanting or requiring it in others.

Was any of that like your rant might have gone? :confused2:

Yep, fairly in the ballpark.

I probably would have used a few words like "induced neurotic shallow crap" in my rant. Also words such as "dumbing down mentally controlling rot".

A while ago I sat with a 13 year old teenager as she watched TV. Mostly I stayed quiet and just observed but did ask her a few questions why she liked this or that. My young friend was totally fixated on the "beautiful characters" and made comments like how she wanted to look like this or that one. Her whole perspective of her young self was being shaped by the images and behaviour coming across on the TV (plus the internet as she has easy access to it).

She started watching some music channel. It was like soft-porn. I'm no prude but this stuff was so blatantly sexualised - aimed at young teenagers, it was completely focused on the "body beautiful". And my young friend, on the cusp of womanhood, was being heavily influenced by this fake plastic soulless neurotic crap.

I found it all very disturbing. It is a form of breeding ground for unhealthy narcissistic tendencies. A fake shallow attention that brings momentary "happiness" and lasts about as long as it is taking me to write this.

Media influences are having more impact on our youth than family values and control. Not healthy!