Women and Compliments...and did $cientology Help at ALL?

[Ted]

Here is an example of the "body beautiful" thing pushed to an absurd extreme. Skinny?

Valeria Lukyanova: The Human Barbie Doll

Though, she adds in all of this spiritual stuff about astral travel and so forth (and claims she is an alien) . . . . .

The above pictures are of an actual person - not a doll!

I suppose that boys will now want Barbie Dolls too to play with!

Yeah, but can she pull a plow?

Oh, wait!

That's a standard from another time and place.

Never mind!

 

[mischief]

I quite like her, okay, her boobs might not be real and she could do with another kg or two,but she has been blessed with a gorgeous figure-she has HIPS. I had to wait til I had my daughter for those!
Bless those extra female hormones!!

I really needed this thread.
It never occurred to me that my stint on staff might have desexed me. I thought it had been due to being skinny all my life.(being told somewhere along the line, that nobody likes a bag of bones.)
I was a size 10 ( 8 apparently, in todays measures) from the time I left high school and even after 3 kids, still managed to stay that way.
I did get a more fuller figure at one point,but lost it all when my previous partner died. I am half way back to that after 6 years.

I dont remember when I started to just accept compliments,it could well have been whilst on staff, probably out of sheer desperation for some form of admiration.

Now,I am 'content in my own skin' mostly.
I dont consider myself to be particularly feminine. Having had no extra money to buy 'nice' clothes or makeup for so long, so I could make sure my kids had what they needed. ( I told them, my job was to give them the basics, extras like designer labels and cell phones, they had to provide for themselves- made them hungry, so they got jobs to buy things that werent just warm and comfortable).
I used to marvel that I had some how managed to produce such a 'girlie' daughter.She didnt get that from me, how could she.I was quite envious of her for quite awhile.

Truth of the matter is, when I was 15, I was told I was gorgeous and would break afew hearts,only to have mine broken.I decided gorgeous was horseshit and didnt bother with anyone who even mentioned the word.
Better to concentrate on the inside, where I was the real me.The rest was just window dressing, all fake and BS, but if people wanted to like that, then more fool them.

When someone, my sis-in-law, I think, told me "you are so attractive when you wear makeup",I realised that what people look at and admire, is not me at all, but their own concept of what is beautiful.How meaningless!! 'm sure she meant well too.
I'm too practical to be beautiful now.

Now when I get compliments, I know people actually mean them and thank them for them.
Actually, when I went to visit an ol' friend recently, they told me I had a nice figure, which I liked cos I had worked so hard to put weight back on, they got a heartfelt thank you.

 

[Ted]

I quite like her, okay, her boobs might not be real and she could do with another kg or two,but she has been blessed with a gorgeous figure-she has HIPS. I had to wait til I had my daughter for those!
Bless those extra female hormones!!

I really needed this thread.
It never occurred to me that my stint on staff might have desexed me. I thought it had been due to being skinny all my life.(being told somewhere along the line, that nobody likes a bag of bones.)
I was a size 10 ( 8 apparently, in todays measures) from the time I left high school and even after 3 kids, still managed to stay that way.
I did get a more fuller figure at one point,but lost it all when my previous partner died. I am half way back to that after 6 years.

I dont remember when I started to just accept compliments,it could well have been whilst on staff, probably out of sheer desperation for some form of admiration.

Now,I am 'content in my own skin' mostly.
I dont consider myself to be particularly feminine. Having had no extra money to buy 'nice' clothes or makeup for so long, so [1.] I could make sure my kids had what they needed. ( I told them, my job was to give them the basics, extras like designer labels and cell phones, they had to provide for themselves- made them hungry, so they got jobs to buy things that werent just warm and comfortable).
I used to marvel that I had some how managed to produce such a 'girlie' daughter.She didnt get that from me, how could she.I was quite envious of her for quite awhile.

Truth of the matter is, when I was 15, I was told I was gorgeous and would break afew hearts,only to have mine broken.I decided gorgeous was horseshit and didnt bother with anyone who even mentioned the word.
Better to concentrate on the inside, where I was the real me.The rest was just window dressing, all fake and BS, but if people wanted to like that, then more fool them.

When someone, my sis-in-law, I think, told me "you are so attractive when you wear makeup",I realised that what people look at and admire, is not me at all, but their own concept of what is beautiful.How meaningless!! 'm sure she meant well too.
I'm too practical to be beautiful now.

Now when I get compliments, I know people actually mean them and thank them for them.
Actually, when I went to visit an ol' friend recently, they told me I had a nice figure, which I liked cos I had worked so hard to put weight back on, they got a heartfelt thank you.

1. My philosophy, too. And work they did.

2. I suspect from your writing that you are beautiful.

It was easy to notice all the beautiful women as they come out of session. Once they started winning in life, in session, they just glowed from deep within. Many of them, plain by social standards but oh, so beautiful.

 

[Purple Rain]

Since this seems to be about me I'd just like to point out a few things. Firstly, I considered it a light-hearted response and changed my whole avatar to the "boobalicious" picture per Patty's suggestion. It was also one of the ones taken by Denise that she would not have put on the internet if I hadn't liked it.

Secondly, I very much like my own breasts. Actually I like breasts period. My American ex-boyfriend used to call me a "breast man".

I also am completely happy with my basic body shape. Having a big butt has never worried any of my boyfriends. Do I need to be stick skinny? No. I like my womanly body.

Do I like carrying extra weight? No. I was in plus sizes for many years and that just didn't feel like me - in fact I wanted to die. I know when I am happy and comfortable in my own body. I've never been stick thin and I'm never going to be. That's not what I'm aiming for. I have a nice, hourglass body shape - growing more pear-shaped with age - but I love food and I eat it with gusto and relish.

I apologise to Pooks and Signpost if I appeared rude or not to accept their compliment. They are two of my favourite people in the world and I am appalled and aghast that they may have taken my posting that way.

Losing your boobs is an unfortunate side effect of losing weight, which I do wish to do and am going to do for many reasons. Mostly because I just don't feel like myself at this weight - it doesn't reflect my own self-concept of my own identity - but also because I have health issues (some of them life-threatening) that fare better at a lighter weight. Mostly it is just common sense to be in a healthy weight range, which I am not.

I go to great lengths not to post unflattering pictures of other people and I wish everyone else would do the same. Signpost did go to a lot of trouble to ensure I was okay with the pictures he took, and I really respect and appreciate that. Other people have posted pictures (not on the Xenu cafe thread, but on Facebook) that I do find horrific. There are also some posted on Facebook that I do love. However, posting somebody's picture on the internet is forever. I don't believe it should be done lightly without someone's permission, but that's just me. Obviously there will be more pictures I like when I feel more myself, but I don't hate all pictures that show my weight and indeed have put up many myself at this weight. I don't try to hide it. I also don't hide my grey hair or my age. I would say that I am more comfortable in my own skin than many women, in fact, and since words of affirmation is one of my primary love languages I do love compliments that I think are genuine, such as the one Patty posted, even if I do not feel at my best at the moment.