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2015 SCIENTOLOGY PREDICTIONS -- You heard it here first!

TrevAnon

Big List researcher
7) Laura's case finally comes up for trial at the end of 2015 or early 2016!
Twenty minutes before proceedings are set to begin cult attorney Moxon offers up a settlement for 20 million.
For those who don't know about what I'm referring to go to:
http://tonyortega.org/2013/10/11/ho...ld-to-have-an-abortion-the-decrescenzo-files/

and here:
http://infinitecomplacency.blogspot.com/2009/04/14-laura-decrescenzos-lawsuit.html

"However, she turns the offer down and is able to testify about what happened to her in court. CO$ then gets ordered by the court to pay a lot more than 20 million. Furthermore, Laura writes a book about it and sells the story for a blockbuster movie. Of course Laura will use a big part of the money she gets this way to help other COS victims [unlike COS itself]."

Well, one can hope. :)
 

AngeloV

Gold Meritorious Patron
1. A new NASA space probe entering an orbit around Venus photographs what appears to be a locomotive. This sends scientologists into a frenzy because LRH said once he was almost run over by one. The delight is short lived however when, upon closer inspection, it turns out to be a shadow of a mountain ridge.

2. Xenu breaks out of his electronic mountain prison in the Pyrenees when the extended life batteries run out. Chaos ensues in scientology orgs when he seeks out all OT IIIs and above, sneaks up behind them and says 'boo!'

3. Body thetans unionize and seek damages from scientology for 'mental anguish' caused by incessant auditing. Their chant is "Hands off the cans, Don't audit!"

4. The fifth invader force lands several space ships, that look amazingly similar to the DC-8, at Gold Base in California. The aliens vaporize all of the buildings and then take off. Later, a news helicopter flying over the site photographs a message burned into the smoking ruins. In large letters it says "Suck it, Scientology. ML, FIF"

5. At the IAS gala, David Miscavaige trips on an untied shoe lace while walking to the podium. He strikes his head on it and is nearly knocked out. Several scientologists rush the stage and begin giving him a touch assist. As he awakens they smile knowing that the 'tech' is working. Forgetting that his mic is still 'hot', Miscavaige blurts out 'What the f**k are you c**ksucking motherf**ers doing! I nearly split my head open. Call 911!".

6. The scientology guards at Trementina Base in New Mexico die of boredom.

7. A hurricane severely damages the Ft. Harrison in Clearwater, FL blowing out windows and flooding staterooms. A scientology spokesperson shrugs off the event saying that the building was 'marked for demolition anyway'.
 

HelluvaHoax!

Platinum Meritorious Sponsor with bells on
--snipped--

6) HelluvaHoax makes announcement that he is writing a book, scheduled for a 2016 release.


In fact that is an uncannily accurate prediction!

Because, I have all but completed a book on Scn--with only two (2) minor steps remaining that I need to complete before taking it to a publisher. The book just requires:

* A title

* Contents that would somehow be different than all the previous books on Scn.

In spite of the above two minor creative delays, several psychics have already sensed that it will become a critically celebrated bestseller.
 
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Type4_PTS

Diamond Invictus SP
In fact that is an uncannily accurate prediction!

Because, I have all but completed a book on Scn--with only two (2) minor steps remaining that I need to complete before taking it to a publisher. The book just requires:
* A title

* Contents that would somehow be different than all the previous books on Scn.

In spite of the above two minor creative delays, several psychics have already sensed that it become a critically celebrated bestseller.


The missing title part is easy... :coolwink:

WTF is Scientology?
 

HelluvaHoax!

Platinum Meritorious Sponsor with bells on
--snipped--

Predick 11 : The Church of Scientology will not only fully accept homosexuality but will also have openly homosexual spokespersons , ministers, & people in charge of their Churches.


HUBBARD COMMUNICATIONS OFFICE
Saint Hill Manor, East Grinstead, Sussex

HCO POLICY LETTER OF 1 APRIL 1966


CANCELLATION OF GAY GAME


The practice of declaring people GAY GAME will cease.

GAY GAME may not appear on any Ethics Order.
It causes bad public relations.

This P/L does not cancel any policy on the treatment or handling of homos & other sexual deviants that, per Science of Survival, are best disposed of without sorrow.


ML,

L. Ron Hubbard
FOUNDER



 

Intentionally Blank

Scientology Widow
Looking into my crystal ball ....

1. Tom Cruise assumes an official leadership position in the cos.

2. TC and DM have a significant falling out when TC attempts to implement The Tek.

3. TC blows (possibly 2016) and DM will lose favor (big time!) with the few members who still remain - especially women of a certain age. This is a good move for his career which takes off again in 2017.

4. At least one currently operating Ideal Org (OH? MN?) will close due to lack of funds. Co$ will be unable to keep this hush and hush and the expanding crater of scn destruction will be one day cited as a watershed event in the final days of the cult's power.

5. NOI and Scn attract widespread media coverage when the fallout between them becomes ugly.

6. Lawsuits against Narconon create a domino effect and it ultimately implodes.

7. Mosey wins and Marty begins negotiations to disclose where the bodies are buried.


Blanky
 

anonomog

Gold Meritorious Patron
In fact that is an uncannily accurate prediction!

Because, I have all but completed a book on Scn--with only two (2) minor steps remaining that I need to complete before taking it to a publisher. The book just requires:

* A title

* Contents that would somehow be different than all the previous books on Scn.

In spite of the above two minor creative delays, several psychics have already sensed that it will become a critically celebrated bestseller.

Hmm. A Sci Fawlty Towers.
 

Gizmo

Rabble Rouser
in 2015 an explicit photo will be leaked that shows beyond any tiny shadow of doubt the true nature of the, uh, relationship between DM & TC. It also answers who is on top !

JT was not in that photo.

Also, DM joined forces with the Freezone to form who knows what.
 

Gizmo

Rabble Rouser
In 2015 all loyal scientologists will, at an event, donate "their last dime" to prove they want to "salvage this sector".

In 2015 total membership in the cult will hit the lowest ever.

Oh, & the person in the early 80's I lent 20 grand for "bridge cycles" will make the first payment to me in 2015.

In 2015 no more mail will come to my home from the cult.

In 2015 many more people currently in the cult will walk away & be free.

Added :

2015 sees the return of the Comm Course in the Nude.

2015 sees the cult recognize masturbation as a team sport.
 
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Sindy

Crusader
In fact that is an uncannily accurate prediction!

Because, I have all but completed a book on Scn--with only two (2) minor steps remaining that I need to complete before taking it to a publisher. The book just requires:

* A title

* Contents that would somehow be different than all the previous books on Scn.

In spite of the above two minor creative delays, several psychics have already sensed that it will become a critically celebrated bestseller.

Make it different?

I think you just gather all your most poignant posts from ESMB, title the book Helluvahoax! and call it day. I'd buy it. It would be a great coffee table book for any discerning person in our culture.
 

Type4_PTS

Diamond Invictus SP
I'm cross-posting a couple pictures originally posted by RBE at the Bunker which seem to fit into this thread:
http://tonyortega.org/2014/12/15/mo...rathbun-and-louis-theroux/#comment-1743197229


original.jpg









original.jpg
 
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Operating DB

Truman Show Dropout
Make it different?

I think you just gather all your most poignant posts from ESMB, title the book Helluvahoax! and call it day. I'd buy it. It would be a great coffee table book for any discerning person in our culture.

I second that! Oh wait, I firsted that idea a while back. Do a stat study of the most LOL's, Likes and Thanks from his post library and make a compilation. It might need more than one volume though. Maybe a book for each year. Hell, I'd even buy the leather bound edition!
 
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NoName

A Girl Has No Name
Funny stuff!

But, I need to get serious about making some of my own 2015 predictions. It's really hard this year with the orgs being so empty and all the top OTs and elite management execs blowing. Hmmmm, maybe I should get warmed up with a Scientology Koan. . .

If a [STRIKE]tree[/STRIKE] needle falls in the [STRIKE]forest[/STRIKE] ideal org
and no one is around to [STRIKE]hear[/STRIKE] obnose it,
does it make a [STRIKE]sound[/STRIKE] stat?

Your postulates stick - like Marty baiting DM into a lawsuit with a third party and Katie blowing.

For 2015, kindly postulate NoName's 2D blowing (not just this UTR crap that's been going on) and self publishing a tell-all on Amazon.

DM running naked around Park City Utah screaming "I'm an OT" during January 2015 would also be nice.
 

JustSheila

Crusader
Make it different?

I think you just gather all your most poignant posts from ESMB, title the book Helluvahoax! and call it day. I'd buy it. It would be a great coffee table book for any discerning person in our culture.

I second that! Oh wilt, I firsted that idea a while back. Do a stat study of the most LOL's, Likes and Thanks from his post library and make a compilation. I might need more than one volume though. Maybe a book for each year. Hell, I'd even buy the leather bound edition!

I third that! :thumbsup: :thumbsup: I'd have it on my coffee table, read it and lol over and over again. What a great discussion starter!

Really, HH! I'm excited at the idea! Possible titles or chapters:

True Tales of the Spaceship Cult
None Dare Call It Hilarious
 

HelluvaHoax!

Platinum Meritorious Sponsor with bells on
In 2015 all loyal scientologists will, at an event, donate "their last dime" to prove they want to "salvage this sector".


Peripheral Prediction. . .

Every Scientologist who donates in order to "salvage this sector" is surprisingly given a newly released 100% Standard Galactic Map that actually shows where "this sector" is located.

Upon that occasion, Scientologists will be overjoyed (prompting yet more donations) because, even though Scientologists have been using the expression "this sector" and having huge wins on it for decades, they actually have no idea whatsoever what it means.

Scientology Super-Secret #102: Using any old typewriter that has a red or green ribbon, type out anything in the format of an HCOPL or HCOB. Make up some really wickedly nonsensical wholetrack "datum" and put it in all caps, the way Ron did. Then show the "reference" to a Scientologist and hand them some clay. No matter what it says, they will be able to clay demo it with huge wins.


--example below--



All Staff Hats
Data Series Course
Remimeo

HUBBARD COMMUNICATIONS OFFICE
Saint Hill Manor, East Grinstead, Sussex

HCO BULLETIN OF 1 APRIL 1986


RECOGNITION OF FACTUAL SENIOR DATUMS
Data Series #29


In the course of doing Data Evaluation and determining the correct WHY for any non-optimum situation, professional evaluators must learn to discriminate between a FACTUAL SENIOR DATUM and the myriad of false-data misdirections that are in fact nothing more than their mere theory, speculation, hypothecation and conjecture.

One must acquire the skill to spot the solitary FACTUAL SENIOR DATUM in a sea of imposters.


Until an evaluator can quickly identify and pull out the one TRUE DATUM in a knotted up ball of "yarns", their why finding will not yield the miraculous resurgence that this tech routinely produces.

This is a breakthrough of considerable magnitude based on wholetrack research into the reason that thetans hold onto the bank lies and alter-is that allow their reactive mind to persist. The discovery of this information is essential to thee and me, if one is determined to remain free of the MEST slavery trap once and for all. It should be word cleared and clay demoed by staff and students alike:

A BEING REMAINS TRAPPED BY THEIR INABILITY TO DIFFERENTIATE BETWEEN
ACTUAL WISDOM AND SYNTHESIZED FACTS, OTHERWISE KNOWN AS FICTION.

Recognize that an engram or implant itself would have no impact upon a thetan if the false data within it was not being held in place by the being mistaking it for wisdom and the consequent intention to never lose it. We therefore are the first people in the universe who have the tech of not only freeing a being, but allowing them to remain free. This, then, is perhaps the single most significant discovery we have ever had the good fortune to uncover:

A FACTUAL SENIOR DATUM CAN BE CONFIRMED
BY SCIENTIFIC TESTING OR SIMPLY
OBSERVING DIRECTLY THAT IT WORKS.


Recognizing that in real life or emergencies it is not always possible to perform time-consuming tests, there is yet another vital discovery:

A BEING WHO, BY CIRCUMSTANCE OR OTHERWISE, IS UNABLE
TO RAPIDLY DIFFERENTIATE AND CHOOSE A FACTUAL SENIOR DATUM
OVER FALSE DATA, CAN RELY UPON A TRUSTED SOURCE THAT
PREVIOUSLY PROVIDED FACTUAL SENIOR DATUMS.

Perhaps it could be said that Scientologists have had the very good fortune of having a reliably accurate mapmaker and guide to lead them out of this trap. I won't always be here with you and one day you may find that you, yourself, are in charge of freeing a planet or sector. Thus, keep these discoveries close at hand, as my personal gift to you, and we will all win.


L. RON HUBBARD
Founder



 

HelluvaHoax!

Platinum Meritorious Sponsor with bells on
..

I second that! Oh wilt, I firsted that idea a while back. Do a stat study of the most LOL's, Likes and Thanks from his post library and make a compilation. I might need more than one volume though. Maybe a book for each year. Hell, I'd even buy the leather bound edition!

LOL

Okay, in that case there is great news. . .

All Scientologists and former Scientologists will be entitled to a special discount on the leather edition--because their involvement with Scientology confirms a special relationship with leather, S&M and other requisite qualifications to have been a parishioner.

Scientology Recruitment Slogan: Even if you're not a qualified sadist, we still have open positions and are hiring for the post of masochist.
 

JustSheila

Crusader
:hysterical: :hysterical: :hysterical: lol lol lol

OMG, HH,your Recognition of Factual Senior Datums bulletin is SO funny!

I CAN'T STOP LAUGHING ! ! ! !

373496-bigthumbnail.jpg



 

Elronius of Marcabia

Silver Meritorious Patron
I predict William Birdwell will stop praising Hubbard writings as genius
and begin training as Olympic Athelete in the very very very high hurdles :dieslaughing:

oh yeah and Tommy Davis will come out as blown the church publicly :thumbsup:

David Miscaviage has leg surgery and grows 4 inches :yes:

John Travolta's hair piece is critical of Scientology and he offloads it :clap:

Tom Cruise converts to Mormon and is married 6 times all in the same day :eyeroll:

Kirstie Alley sues Scientology when she slips on some oily stuff while redoing Super Power
and busts her ass:ohmy:

And last but not least the world will not end in 2015:clap: but may have some dizzy spells in 2016
when Donald Trump becomes a Scientologist :confused2:
 

FlunkYou

Patron with Honors
1. DM still won't be able to dunk on a 6' basketball hoop.
2. LRH will still be dead.
3. There will still be 0 clears to date.
4. There will still be 0 OTs to date.
5. Scientology will continue to be unable to deliver what it promised back in the 50's.
6. The cherch will still beg for money rather than attempt to sell its bag of snake oils.
8. More lawsuits will be brought against the cherch.
9. JT will have man-love and keep it under wraps.
10. Krusty will make an ass out of herself.....again.

(these are 100% guarantees)
 
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