After 35 years I'm finally out

[Mick Wenlock]

Just a brief introduction. As 20-somthing college kid I became involved with Scientology and thought it would be the salvation of the world. My experiences in the first 5 years were great. I went from a novice to OT III in 4 years or so, and continued with auditor training after that. I knew Scientology would catch on but as the years progressed I wondered why Scientology continued to be held in disrepute. I stayed faithful, and in the early 1990s, continued up to OT VII. I was so dedicated that I attested to completing "The Level" not once but twice. When I was on OT VII for the third time (Golden Age of Tech version) I finally stopped auditing. In general, The Level sucked. I was worse off by daily auditing on OT VII because it's a bunch of crap!

Still, for some reason, I remained faithful to Scientology. I justified my continued adherence because "The Tech" wasn't fully understood or being applied. Little did I know that the maelstrom that is Scientology can't be fully understood or applied by anyone. Scientology is a goat fuck of immense proportions.

As many other Scientologists did I faded away from the group. Easy for me because I didn't work for a Scientology business nor did I have many Scientology friends; I had little to lose socially. Personally there was more to loose. My family were mostly all Scientologist including my kids. So I had to keep up appearances.

Eventually my spouse divorced me. My spouse stayed with Scientology and took our kids in the process (I was the "SP", after all). Scientology's version of shuning (Disconnection) was applied and I lost my family. While I couldn't care less about my spouse I do care about my kids. They're over 18-years old and technically adults, really, but they're still kids. They're mistakenly trying to find salvation in Scientology as I did in my 20s.

I stayed in Scientology for far too long. Was I a fool? Yes, in many ways I was. But I believed in the "star-high" goal Hubbard had set for us. Little did I know that he had no practical plan for mankind. Scientology was all "postulated reality"; something Hubbard had imagined would become reality if enough people agreed.

So for now I'm "Spectator". Watching, observing, learning, applying. At some point I'll be able to reveal my identity but only after my kids are safe from Scientology.

Thank you all for being here and posting.

Spectator

Welcome to the ESMB safe harbor! and welcome to the company of :
"Your huddled masses yearning to breathe free,
The wretched refuse of your teeming shore"



Good luck indeed and I look forward to hearing your story whenever you feel it is safe for you to tell it!

 

[TG1]

Wow, Spectator. Welcome to ESMB.

I'm really sorry about your kids' disconnection from you. One day they'll be out. A lot of people here have similar situations or have made reconnections with their children.

The good news is that the cult is going down the drain faster every day.

TG1

 

[guanoloco]

Welcome, Spectator.

 

[TheOldSalt]

Welcome. Making my debut here as well. 40 years 'in' - though the last few years I've been lurking here whilst I barricaded my door against Idle Morgue reges.. saving my pennies for a new start. I'm out.

 

[Ogsonofgroo]

OldSalt! Wow two old-timers in as many days! Wonderful!

 

[NoName]

Pull up a chair, grab a beer, and tell us your stories when you're ready. We love stories!

 

[Gib]

Still, for some reason, I remained faithful to Scientology. I justified my continued adherence because "The Tech" wasn't fully understood or being applied. Little did I know that the maelstrom that is Scientology can't be fully understood or applied by anyone. Scientology is a goat fuck of immense proportions.

Spectator

Glad you arrived here.

I thought the same thing and one day I realized not too long ago that if this shit is the greatest shit on earth, then why was being on staff such a dog's breakfast. and for that matter, being a public as well. I mean who could bring people in when one knew they would be regged to death.

 

[hummingbird]

Welcome welcome welcome, Spectator and OldSalt.

It sounds like we probably got in at around the same time, around the same age, and for the same reasons.

Spectator: You perfectly expressed the essence of the cult in just five words ("goat fuck of immense proportions")! That's it exactly! That made me laugh, then like others, I felt sad by the end of your post.

Children (and by that I include everyone up to the age of 25, having raised two daughters to 30 and 32 years of age) do not have the framework to judge a con. Most people never develop one, but children in particular seem to see things so much in absolutes. "You're with us, or you're against us."

OldSalt: Congrats to you on the escape!!

I can't begin to imagine what the two of you are going through mentally and emotionally now, but you've come to the right place.

Take care.... And share your stories as you can. Those of us who have been out for a while are ever so curious.

 

[Udarnik]

Welcome! Some if us are a bit rough here, some of us have short fuses in the presence if nonsense, but I don't see anyone publishing here with any malice. Any residual cult-think will likely be challenged, but if that ever happens, please remember that we are all, Exes and Never-Ins alike, very happy to see you here. Breathe free!

 

[Good twin]

Welcome Spec!

 

[dchoiceisalwaysrs]

Great first post Spectator.

Wonderful that you are out. But not so good that you are separated from your children. I hope that soon ends.

Who knows maybe they are lurking here also, and will contact you soon. I wonder if that has happened before?

The 'church' of scientology is so greedy; enticing, capturing, imprisoning minds and allegiances of individuals, families, and even groups all in the name of help.

But a pile of crap being promoted as a nourishing dinner is certainly fraud and also a big (as a huge understatement) mistake.

NOT, a welcomed reality and dam well not a useful practicality for our society. May your children soon realize their mistake. You and most of society surely do.

So good to have you here.

 

[Dean Blair]

Welcome. Making my debut here as well. 40 years 'in' - though the last few years I've been lurking here whilst I barricaded my door against Idle Morgue reges.. saving my pennies for a new start. I'm out.

Welcome to ESMB Old Salt! You and Spectator are going to learn a lot here. You will learn things the church never told you about. I look forward to hearing moar from both of you.

 

[Gib]

snip

Eventually my spouse divorced me. My spouse stayed with Scientology and took our kids in the process (I was the "SP", after all). Scientology's version of shuning (Disconnection) was applied and I lost my family. While I couldn't care less about my spouse I do care about my kids. They're over 18-years old and technically adults, really, but they're still kids. They're mistakenly trying to find salvation in Scientology as I did in my 20s.

snip

Hey TheSpectator,

I just realized something. You could write letters to your kids, like once a month or two, short letters, and just let them know how you are doing.

Like, you just landed a good job and you're making double the money and bought a new BMW. Or you landed a new client if you have a business. Or some other goods news.

I wouldn't criticize the scientology horseshit game. And in fact, I'd ignore it and pretend it doesn't exist.

Just because they disconnected from you doesn't mean you have to disconnect from them, you know what I mean?

 

[Commander Birdsong]

Welcome Spectator!

Thank you for your story.

You'll find out here that you are not alone.

The Anabaptist Jacques

pay no attention to this dude specs

i revealed him as one of the pope's primary secret agents years ago but he keeps covertly trying to inflict catechism on the innocent...

 

[phenomanon]

Hey TheSpectator,

I just realized something. You could write letters to your kids, like once a month or two, short letters, and just let them know how you are doing.

Like, you just landed a good job and you're making double the money and bought a new BMW. Or you landed a new client if you have a business. Or some other goods news.

I wouldn't criticize the scientology horseshit game. And in fact, I'd ignore it and pretend it doesn't exist.

Just because they disconnected from you doesn't mean you have to disconnect from them, you know what I mean?

Where would he send the letters?
Do you really believe that his children would be given them?

 

[Gib]

Where would he send the letters?
Do you really believe that his children would be given them?

Well,

We don't know if they are on staff or just living with their mom?

Maybe TheSpectator will answer.

Maybe somebody that lurks here is in a similar boat.

 

[jenni with an eye]

TheSpectator

 

[Lurker5]

Hey Spectator and OldSalt - Hello and Coming out party ! I am so busy today, so don't have time to read all the posts, just wanted to say Hi. I hope I didn't miss any other noobies coming out on this thread - if I did, you are included in my and Yea.

 

[JustSheila]

to ESMB, Spectator!

 

[TG1]

Whoa! Our stats are straight up and vertical!

So many people flooding out of the Co$. Two right here.

Eighteen left yesterday down in South Africa.

Welcome, Old Salt. I hope you enjoy your time here.

TG1