I guess really I posted in the hopes that there is something I can do. More and more I think I’m learning there isn’t. It’s a humbling experience of helplessness, like being told she’s HIV positive or something. I’ve had fantasies of learning kung fu to fight off the CoS thugs who will see me as an enemy, or of paying a real therapist to do auditing without it leading to higher levels. But these are just fantasies; no thugs will care about me, and trying to recreate my own dianetics is just desperation. Sigh, thanks for reading…
It has certainly felt that way already.
Hi concerned family - welcome to our little online corner of the world. I'm a never-in married to a multi-year, true believe, scn.
I refuse to believe there is nothing you can do. (Although I absolutely will never utter the phrase "something can be done about it"
- sorry, inside joke ) There are all kinds of things you can do - possibly the most important being to love and support your family member. Be engaged, be kind, be caring, do things together .... you know .... all the stuff that good solid relationships are made of. Because no matter where she goes with this - passing fancy or headlong into insanity - a solid base will help minimize damage.
Just tell them that they need to do their homework before they get involved in something or buy something or invest in something. It's never been easier. Tell them the internet is littered with Scientology casualties and they need to be aware of the hazards of what they are doing. And that is the real reason why they have been told not to google Scientology.
Bare Faced Messiah is a real eye opener and very well researched. It addresses point by point the Scientology version of L Ron Hubbards biography with the real story.
Yes. ^^^^
I would spend some quality time with them. Find new adventures to go on, take a trip, do some culture things like concerts and museums. Really listen to what they say, what do they want and need from the sciobots? Then help them find the answer for themselves.
IF they start finding answers on their own and having more fun doing new things the interest may fade.... if not at least you got some quality time before they go into the void.
I would not attack full on go in the back door.
Good luck and am very glad you love them enough to try to get help.
and ... YES ^^^^
Thanks y'all. So definitely no confrontations, but gently encourage her to see for herself other points of view. I think I had naturally been using that strategy, but recently started freaking out when I read more, so thanks for telling me not to do anything drastic.
Another question- she's been asking if I'd like to come to some orientation? or overview? Something like that. Earlier I thought it was just some alt- therapy thing and was like sure, I'll come some time. Now I see the full picture, I don't know. Do I go? Will they see I'm wise to them and cut me out? Or will they use some trickery and suck me in too? Both of those sound ridiculous, but not nearly as ridiculous as many of the real accounts out there.
If it was me? I would go. (Actually, I do go with my spouse.) I go. I smile. I nod. I make nice. I mumble some kind of pleasant excuse as to why I can't be on course, do auditing, or whatever else they try to sell me. This way, I am never seen as the enemy and the defensive triggers of my spouse or the folks at the org are not raised. This gives me leverage.
I listen. And then I innocently ask questions. Leading questions. You are able to do far more of this than I am because your family member isn't a full blown true believer with implanted mind controlling defensive triggers. Questions - framed with curiosity and interest - are your best weapons.
"Wow honey - isn't that interesting about [fill in the blank] let's see what else we can find online about that. [snuggle up with a shared laptop if possible] Ooooo .... wowwww.... that's a little freaky - I wonder why someone would write that? Let's look a little more. Hmmm ..... well that's interesting."
If you can appear legitimately interested and on her side you can possibly gently lead her to see what you know. As soon as you become the opposition she will fight you. That's not just cult indoctrination - it's human nature ... at least for many of us.
Memorize and use this quote from the Creed of Scientology (if you've been exposed to it). Use it, kindly and with curiosity, when your loved one resists criticisms of the teachings or any other aspect of the cult. "
That all men have inalienable rights to think freely, to talk freely, to write freely their own opinions and to counter or utter or write upon the opinions of others."
Best of luck to you!
Blanky