How/when do you decide when to tell people you were in Scientology and/or Sea Org?

[tetloj]

Re: How/when do you decide when to tell people you were in Scientology and/or Sea Org

Wow - so sorry that you have all had reasons to feel so secretive about this - as a never in I would never respond to make someone feel bad about this sort of thing

As long as 'secretiveness' doesn't come hand in hand with 'shame'...I guess you gotta do what you gotta do.

 

[FoTi]

Re: How/when do you decide when to tell people you were in Scientology and/or Sea Org

Wow - so sorry that you have all had reasons to feel so secretive about this - as a never in I would never respond to make someone feel bad about this sort of thing

As long as 'secretiveness' doesn't come hand in hand with 'shame'...I guess you gotta do what you gotta do.

Since you were never in.....you could try an experiment....try telling a number of people that you were once involved in Scientology....that you were a Scientologist......and see what kind of a response you get. You might get an idea of why people don't want to say anything to others about their involvement with Scientology. It's not thought of well by the general public and they often tend to judge you accordingly.

 

[The Anabaptist Jacques]

Re: How/when do you decide when to tell people you were in Scientology and/or Sea Org

I don't even tell people that I was in Scientology with that I was in Scientology.

I haven't told anyone, ever.

The Anabaptist Jacques

 

[The Anabaptist Jacques]

Re: How/when do you decide when to tell people you were in Scientology and/or Sea Org

Imagine the poor fellow that will one day say to an employer "I was once in a radical group called the Nation of Islam. But I got out. I joined Scientology."

The Anabaptist Jacques

 

[ClearEyed]

Re: How/when do you decide when to tell people you were in Scientology and/or Sea Org

How/when do you decide when to tell new people you were in Scientology and/or Sea Org? I work/study in a science-y field with lots of super-duper skeptics and advanced degrees, etc. Yes it was stupid of me to do that but I didn't know then the things I've studied since, and if I had I'm nearly 100% sure I wouldn't have done scientology in the first place! (let alone the X years in the Sea Org).

I'm also curious how people approach letting potential romantic partners know they used to be in the Sea Org and/or Scientology.

Thanks!

Depends on what you are doing with your life. There are people who are very open about their past experience in Scientology. They write books about it (literally). They blog about it, they talk about it. They've made it part of their "personal brand." Their experience with Scientology can be part of their life narrative, how they became who they are today.

I think if a person lives a high profile, very public life, it would be in their best interest to be out and up front about it. Better to disclose when and how you want. Much worse to have it disclosed or whispered about as if you are deliberately trying to hide it.

Some people have been very public about their past in Scientology as a form of public service, exposing the abuses and fraud of Scientology.

But if your life involves working for someone else, the less said the better. Especially if you have a minion or supporting type of job. If your work is skilled and integral to the company product, you would be less vulnerable to gossip, or judgmental opinions, I think. Especially if your work involves creativity or inventiveness. If you and your peers get into philosophical discussions, it would probably feel natural to talk about your Scientology experiences. Just be circumspect. Have a basis for trusting that someone will be discreet with your confidences. Not just your hope that they will act in your best interest.

As for a potential romantic partner, I wouldn't lead with it. But you'll need to tell them sometime. It's pretty important that you had some experience in a cult. Someone who cares about you will want to know how you became involved, what hooked you in, how you endured, what finally led you to leave, and what is your point of view about it today. My suggestion would be to discuss it if or when you know want to be closer to this person, and when you know they genuinely care about you.

 

[ThetanExterior]

Re: How/when do you decide when to tell people you were in Scientology and/or Sea Org

I know there are different ways to look at this depending on your own personal situation but my feelings are that I don't mind who knows I was in Scientology because I'm glad I did it.

I got in, experienced it and got out. So if anyone wants to criticise me for it then they had better have as much experience as me of being in it otherwise they can STFU because they don't know what they're talking about.

That's just the way I see it.

 

[DeeAnna]

Re: How/when do you decide when to tell people you were in Scientology and/or Sea Org

In the wog world people "change" their background information all the time. For whatever reason.

I got to know a woman who was about to marry a longtime acquaintance of mine. One day she confessed to me, "I do have some concerns about being Dan's THIRD wife. It somehow sounds unsavory." After a pause my reply to her was "Oh, dear. Then how would you feel about being his FOURTH wife?" Seems Dan had forgotten a wife. Sort of like LRon. I liked this gal and Dan's marital background was so well known among so many that SOMEBODY was going to let the cat out of the bag eventually. I figured it was better to come from someone who genuinely liked this woman. And also we were alone together at the time.

She did marry him. They were together for a few years and then went through a nasty divorce. She and I are still friends.

Another friend of mine presents herself to the world as a widow. Totally leaving a 10-year second marriage out of her "official history". Husband #1, father of her children, was actually married to someone else when he died. But she was married to him long enough to collect on his Social Security, so she considers herself to also be his widow.
So there you go.

My only other suggestion: Why not refer to $cientology as "an organization" or "a group". We all know it is a cult. But it just might be easier to say "I used to belong to an organization that owned a ship".

As for explaining employment gaps, "doing missionary work for my church" could perhaps cover 1-2 years, but not 10 or 20 years.

How is this being handled?

 

[catarina]

Re: How/when do you decide when to tell people you were in Scientology and/or Sea Org

My involvement is plastered all over my google search results, so it's a lost cause already. There definitely exists prejudice, but I find that the more casual you are about it, the more comfortable people are. It helps to be 50+ and be able to refer to it as one of those silly youth things.

What is most important to me is that my family and my husband's family treat me with full respect. I met my husband on ARS many years ago, so he knew from day one His family I think I had to win over by simply acting like a decent person over time. Sometimes you do have to prove yourself, I find nothing strange in that.

If possible, I wait until I have established some connection to a person before telling them, if at all. I don't go around telling everyone what color underwear I use. Privacy is okay.

Sometimes my experience can be an unforeseen asset, like when I made a new friend a couple of years ago. We didn't talk about Scn. One day she "confessed" that she had been to Narconon over a decade earlier, and it had been one of the most horrible experiences of her life. She did become long term clean and sober through other methods, and it doing just great now, but the Narconon memory haunted her. There was nobody around her who she could talk to who understood. When I said I had been in Scn, I had been in the sauna and done the TRs, but most of all witnessed the greed and the stat push and weird ethics, she looked like a stone fell from her heart.

And it happens that people react in a very strange way. Once I was at a work party for staff and their spouses. Free drinks and I definitely had much more than I normally do. I was sitting next to this guy who was married to one of the staff, he was the CEO of a medium-sized, well-established company. Your typical guy in a suit. But we were chatting along, and eventually (I don't know how) I was telling him lots about my past involvement in Scn. He really listened, and after half an hour the guy actually cried! Said he wished he could get out of his boring life and have adventures like I had had. Oh well.

The impression I get is that when people in ordinary life want to fill up a gap in their resumé - prison, rehab, psychiatric treatment - they use "I was travelling" or "living abroad". Not sure though how useful that is if it's a long time period.

 

[prosecco]

Re: How/when do you decide when to tell people you were in Scientology and/or Sea Org

It depends on the circumstances. Shortly after I left, had someone in full Class A Sea Org uniform come to the door, and the neighbours wondered who was banging on the door at 1:00 am, more in a curious, wanting the gossip if I was on the run from the Navy.

For the most part, my close friends know, but was in a pub a few years ago when it came up on a pub quiz.
Think the question was something like, 'what religion subscribes to a silent birth...' Oh how we laughed. Some people were fascinated, some wanted to talk about their own involvements in other organisations, but then it was no big deal. Some people still take the piss out of me. If I'm not wearing my glasses, I have to look at people at an angle, and some laugh that this was my cult training.

 

[Claire Swazey]

Re: How/when do you decide when to tell people you were in Scientology and/or Sea Org

The people for whom it would be toughest would be the ones who went into the SO very young and then left it years and years later. No other work experience to put on the resume. If they'd been mission or org staff, they'd usually have had outside jobs and could omit all mention of Scn on the resume. But some other people do not have that option.

I've prepared a lot of resumes and I was pondering what they'd have to put on there. They'd have to list their posts in Scn. I guess they'd have to rephrase things so as not to use a bunch of Scn post titles and other jargon and just say what they did. Like, use terms like "administrative assistant" or "maintenance man" or "counsellor". For registrars, it could be "inside sales"- that's a term I often see nowadays out in the plain ol' non Scn world. Then describe the tasks and duties they performed, from what year to what year, the location. This could be done but there'd still be some awkwardness, I think.

In a lot of ways, people who did nothing but Scn and staff in the SO til they left would be a bit like an ex con or even Rip Van Winkle. Depending on how isolated they'd been, there would be a lot of changes in society and in fashions, computers, household devices, current and past events. They'd have to get used to all that. And they'd be doing it while they trying to put their lives together.

A week or so on Facebook in SPs'R'Us, I noted how resilient ex Scientologists are. They've started again - often in the face of very tough circumstances and adjustments they had to make. Not easy, particularly for those who were deeply involved with staff, etc. I find those achievements very impressive.

 

[Tom of Helatrobus]

Re: How/when do you decide when to tell people you were in Scientology and/or Sea Org

I'll size someone up before I tell them about my past involvement with Scientology.

Your cookie cutter suburbanite doesn't need to know. Conservatives with pick up trucks and guns under the bed don't need to know because if they knew, they would think you irredeemably stupid and possibly dangerous.

On the other hand, if someone is interested in philosophy, theology (the kind where thinking is involved) or cults, I'm quick to own up to being an ex Sea Org member. I was in a conversation last month with someone who I told about my involvement in Scientology, but he had been in O.T.O., the cult of psychic youth, Golden Dawn and, oh by the way, was rather eccentric.